Long story short: my mother recently has been diagnosed with an inoperable malignant brain tumor and her biggest wish is for us to mend our relationship before she dies. My father and I have had multiple falling outs and fights...all of which were fueled by alcohol on both sides. I don't drink anymore and haven't in 10 years and I've heard that he is trying to quit.
I've apologized many times for my part in things and he seems to refuse the idea that he shares any of the blame. He retired a few years ago and his attitude has gotten abysmal since losing his "purpose"... Additionally, he lives in a self imposed bubble and is extremely out of touch when it comes to the most basic functions of modern living... To give an example he has never even used an ATM machine and he depends on my mother for everything. When she dies I fear what will happen to him.
He's a good person but also he is very selfish and callous and doesn't seem phased at all with not being in touch with any of his children or grand children. My sister checked out years ago and the buck is being passed to me. I've got no clue of where to begin with him.