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In a few weeks time, a friend from the Netherlands is coming over to spend a week with me in the UK. She is female (and I am male), we are both the same age, and are friends (there's nothing special between us). We have known each other for nearly a year now, and I am nervous as to how to handle meeting her. Is there a certain way I should act/behave with her when we first see each other? Are there things I should do during her stay?

I'm concerned about doing the wrong things and either appearing weird or to be too romantic (which I'd rather not do) but also not having loads of awkward silences during the meet up.

More context on our friendship: we have never met in person before, however, we frequently video call each other and play various online games, enjoying each other's company and also supporting each other often in times of need. We message all the time across various platforms and are extremely close friends.

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    it is not the right place, here for example it was answered: writing.stackexchange.com/questions/1284/…
    – Gothiquo
    Jul 18, 2018 at 8:59
  • " however, we frequently video call each other and play various online games, enjoying each other's company and also supporting each other often in times of need. We message all the time across various platforms and are extremely close friends." - I sincerely doubt that "there's nothing special". You sure...?
    – lukuss
    Jul 18, 2018 at 10:34

3 Answers 3

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Are there things I should do during her stay?

Plan activities where you have something to do, other than sit around awkwardly staring at each other.

Playing games, going for walks, really anything that has an activity. Basically doing things which are sort good date ideas... for the same reason.

By focusing attention on the activity you give the relationship time to adjust. It might not matter at all and you might be fine, but it will remove any of the potential awkwardness.

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If you've spent a lot of time talking to each other online, you'll probably have shared jokes or 'memes' which you've used to each other a lot and which make you both laugh. Try using them in real life - it's a shared common ground which will help you feel more comfortable with each other.

For example, I have an online friend who helped to introduce me to the hilarity of Monty Python, and there are several sketches which we frequently quote to each other. If/when we meet in real life, any awkwardness between us may be dispersed by saying something like "I've told you once" or "Good night a-ding-ding-ding-ding", which usually makes us laugh when we say it in chatrooms.

If you can't think of any good jokes which you both enjoy together, any piece of shared history might have a similar effect. Say "remember that time when we talked about ... ?" You mention that you've supported each other often in times of need; that suggests you probably share secrets together which a lot of other people don't know. Talk about some of that stuff, to remind yourselves of how much you have in common, and of how well you actually know each other even if you've never met before.

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Since you are online friends for more than a year and do video calls, you shouldn't be getting nervous when going to meet her.

Act as you were friends in real life.

She may like it.

It is according to the person.

If you act nervous, she may not like it.

So, act as a normal person and act as both of you have been friends in real life for a long time.

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