This is about me and my ex-best friend Alice. I'm currently living in the UK. Alice and I had been very good friends from about September last year, up until the beginning of this month. I had a huge crush on her since about February.
It all really starts going downhill in April, when we had our last day of school, and we hung out all day which was fantastic. I enjoyed it and still class it as one of my favourite days that I've ever had. I met a lot of her family, and they all seemed to quite like me.
After this, I was extremely concerned about losing her as my best friend. As I got a job and she continued school, I expected there wouldn't be a lot of time to meet up with her. I had a lot of people reassuring me that everything would be fine, and that I wouldn't lose her. I tried to make sure that through summer we hung out as much as we could, in case it was the last time I saw her for a while.
I proposed many times to meet up and have a day out, but she declined for the following reasons:
- She was busy and she couldn't make plans
- She'd "check her schedule" and completely avoid further conversations regarding the topic
- We'd agree to meet up, and she'd either text me on the day that she couldn't come out.
- We'd agree to meet up and I'd get to the meeting point for her to not show up or reply to my messages.
On any of these occasions, she'd talk to me again the day after and act as if nothing had ever happened.
This was starting to get a bit much and I was becoming depressed. My family was starting to pick up on this and recommended I stop talking to her. I was reluctant to do this, until November when I decided I had to do it to save myself.
I told her very softly that due to my inability to get over her despite nothing ever becoming of us, I had to stop talking to her, at least for a while.
She agreed and we wished each other the best. This is where I might have made a mistake. I did NOT delete her from my social media. I felt there was no need to since I thought what could be so bad about looking every now and again. I still didn't dislike her, I wanted to make sure she was doing well.
Over the duration of the last month, there have been multiple stories on her SnapChat that were aimed at no-one but made me paranoid that I have hurt her feelings with my reaction to our situation. These are some examples (profanity removed)
- "Walking away from your problems because you can't handle your own stuff. Why can't you just be different"
- "If you have ever left me or stopped talking to me for any reason, don't come back without 10 good reasons why I should let you"
I'm not positive that these posts are about me.
How do I ask Alice tactfully about whether these posts are about me without causing distress and conflict? My end aim is to find out if she is hurt because of me, and if she is, try and figure out a way to make it so it won't hurt her. If it's not possible to prevent that pain, I'd like to at least try minimize it. If not, then it's none of my business and I can continue as I was