There's a woman we'll call Emma. I've known her for a few years through work she does for somebody in my family. I am in a long-term relationship, terrified of making my partner jealous, and hopelessly socially anxious usually, so we've never had a real conversation.
Usually (always) when I see her, my partner is there, but over the weekend she wasn't able to make it. Emma seemed unusually friendly and chatty, and we talked quite a lot. There was also some body language which I feel like was saying a lot more than the words, but I have no idea because I've historically been socially inept. I was actually blown away by my unexpected ability to survive the smalltalk.
So the thing is, I have no idea how to tell if she was trying to make a move with my partner not being around. She didn't say anything that would suggest ulterior motives, but like I said, there were some moments she seemed to use her body as a way of saying something else.
If I ask directly, "when you did X, were you flirting?", I have a feeling that'll just make things really weird, whether or not I'm right. Is there some tactful way to figure this out? She will be in our lives for who knows how long, due to her work, so I want to make it not-weird but also figure out wtf was going on.
And asking my partner for insight is right out. She wouldn't take it well if somebody else were showing interest in me. (Yeah, it's a fun world I live in)