2

Background

I have recently acquired parts for my PC build and will soon be building it. I had been building my anticipation with my friends but also with my siblings. Now a friend said he wants to build it with me and I have invited him to come over on the day.

Recently however, my elder brother also said he wants in and despite no issues being here, why should I exclude my little sister then? But that is a cultural thing that I cannot include her and my friend together.

The friend, being a gamer I felt, 'deserves' to be present as he'd appreciate the inclusion. My siblings, on the other hand, are not gamers or power users by a long shot. But they certainly are very interested in building it with me. They might not know the software and hardware or anything such but were very impressed by the beauty and aesthetics of the components I acquired.

My dilemma here was that I am in post-op recovery so I will not be able to handle the heavy items and the friend has assured he can do it. But when my brother has said the same, I decided that I would build the PC with my siblings, because I will be more comfortable with a family member having the liability over anyone else. This means that I now face the problem that I have to pull back the offer I made to my friend.

Question:

How do I uninvite my friend from building the PC together, without creating an awkward situation between us?

Goal:
I want to let him down softly, making him understand why I changed my mind.
Our friendship is important to me and I don't want this decision to have a negative affect on our friendship.

  • 1
    "But that is a cultural issue that I cannot include her even though I want to." What is this cultural issue? What is your culture? Where are you from? That will help, for a start. Also, is there any reason you can't get your siblings and your friend to help you together? – F1Krazy Dec 14 '17 at 13:03
  • 1
    @F1Krazy based on his username, the sister, and his friend, I think he might come from Arabic/Moslem culture, where a woman should not be with opposite sex which is not her husband. But I agree we need OP's confirmation first. – Vylix Dec 14 '17 at 17:27
  • Do you tell your friend you'll be building the PC in X days? How long have you've told your friend? – Vylix Dec 14 '17 at 17:31
  • If this is indeed the reason that you do not want to invite your sister and friend, I would like to know who you think is the problem here. Do you insist on this cultural boundaries? Your parents, friend, siblings? – AK_is_curious Dec 15 '17 at 10:36
5

Well I think you need to tell your friend, that you are really really sorry, but your Brother and Sister asked you to help and they are very enthusiastic about it and since they don't normally get to do that kind of thing you felt really bad about telling them you were going to do it with your friend instead.

You can also mention things your brother/sister have done for you that would add to make you feel bad if you told them you are not going to do it with them. Or that you haven't had the chance to spend too much time doing things with them, or such.

Then, after telling him how sorry you are, and thanking him for his understanding, you can offer him an alternate plan. Like would you come later and help me fine-tune it? Overclocking or some activity it won't make so much sense to do with your Brother/Sister because they don't know about the subject and it would be confusing for them. Or maybe even tell him to come over to play.

Also you don't have to do everything with your Sister and Brother, after all they don't know about the subject and probably it would be boring if you had to do a lot of fine tuning and software installation.

I think he will probably understand.

  • 1
    This is what I was going to say. Build some of it with the brother/sister and then when they get bored, invite the friend over. – user6818 Dec 14 '17 at 20:19

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.