There are certain clubs in our school where students can pursue their interests. Eg., debate, football, drama, IT. Students are free to chose any of them and only few people get to be in the IT club, where things like Scratch(an animation software which can be easily learnt through self-exploration), app inventor(same type). I am one of them.

After many days, some members and I were selected for an innovation challenge(essay-writing) and I chose transportation along with my teammates. I did everything, including consulting an English teacher, writing the essay and collecting whatever information was needed, but not copying it down in a sheet. According to me, it had something innovative. I found later that our work had not been selected by the principal but an other group. Also, my teammates and I were enlisted in their group, thus making the group bigger.

I was called in school to type their essay, which did not speak about their innovation, but rather things which are already/about to be innovated by other famous companies. I was frustrated after seeing it and then began to criticize I openly to the members. Also, I told them that it was an innovation challenge. I even refused to give my name after the essay. To make myself worthy give my name in it, I added few points.

As a person, I am very introverted and totally hate working in teams. If I work in a team, I either take all the “main” responsibilities, i.e., be the leader or hate the situation. How do I develop my team spirit and how do I become more of an extrovert? Also, whenever I think of showing extrovert attitude by dancing or telling a joke in front of others, I think of myself negatively.

  • How to enjoy X? sounds too complicated to me... – NVZ Dec 24 '17 at 10:47
  • So, there's a whole lot of story here, but what exactly is the question? Enjoying working in a team is not an interpersonal skill... – Tinkeringbell Dec 24 '17 at 11:37
  • You should try to trust your teammates and believe that if the work is properly dissipated, you might learn new things. If you already have the habit of leading, then, try to guide the group and assign particular tasks to all of them. So that the experience is nice and fruitful, organise meetings where each explains his methodology and what he has learnt newly. This communication is important, since it will help you break the fence of shyness. – Tosh Dec 25 '17 at 6:28

I have been in your situation and as I think this question over I continue to be in similar situations that require a different approach.

Let's first look at your mindset. You are convinced you are an introvert. That's totally fine. But with that mindset, "I'm an introvert" becomes a filter, a set of behaviors, and a limited way of thinking. Here is what is likely to happen as a result of this feeling.

  • You may subconsciously reject beneficial new experiences with other people.
  • Your interpersonal skills can weaken because if you believe yourself to be an introvert, then why bother sharpening them.
  • It can lead to cyclical thinking, wherein you might feel lonely, but reject opportunities to be part of something bigger than you.

I too like you have many introvert traits, but over time I have seen the benefits of developing extrovert traits without sacrificing who I am, nor have I had to play the leadership role in doing so. Along the way, I have experienced several benefits.

  • A feeling of shared growth. There is something about sharing a common goal that creates a feeling of bonding and connection with others. It's ineffable and can't really be experienced by going it alone.

  • The ability to combine resources to complete a big project that one person would take years to or never finish.

  • The feeling of belonging and being supported. To have your teammates give you a boost when you need it and you do the same. That feeling you don't have to be on top of everything all the time.

And here is something else to consider. You don't have to be a team player a hundred percent of the time. You can be in team mode when you are with the group and doing team stuff. You can allocate a percentage of your day and focus to the team, and also be a introvert when you are not. It's all about finding your level of comfort.

Have you considered how being a team player can positively benefit you?

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