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I am a 13-year-old boy of eighth standard. I am neither very unpopular, nor very popular in school. E.g., everyone knows me because I am a "good student"(because I get good grades), thus I am popular. But, I am not really good at gossip, chitchat etc, thus I am unpopular. Also, I think everyone likes me and stays by my side when someone bullies me.

Among my school friends/mates, I like almost everybody. But there is one friend whom I am having a lot of trouble with. He is a kind of bully, rather emotional or mental than physical. Once, another mate in school spread a rumor about me that I winked someone of my opposite sex(which is considered flirting in our class), he then spread that rumor further and also bullied me a lot of times regarding it. Since, he is way more popular than me, a teacher's pet and he gets more grades than I do. I found it very difficult to complain against him to the teacher for about seven months. Then I finally did, but the teacher did not take any actions(she might have forgotten it). But like before, he has found a lot of ways to harass me, e.g., calling me a miser(which may be evinced from the situations that I don't carry pocket money or I don't use a lot of pages for homework), snatching my glasses, calling me stupid, slapping me, insulting me in front of my other friends, taking credit for things I did etc. Also, when I tell a word which is not a swear word but he and others thinks it to be so, he tells it to everyone; which he does not do for others. I used to enjoy all these some days ago before the rumor was spread. But I do not do it now. I have told him a lot of times that I did not enjoy that, even after he apologized, he started it again.

My problem is, he sits beside me and I want to tell my teacher to change my place to someone sensible, but I am not getting the courage to do it, so how do I tell it to her? Also, if she disagrees to do so, how do I make myself happy with him?

Thanks!

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    Please narrow down your question, what do you want to know? how to deal with the bully? How to ask the teacher for moving to another seat? How to make yourself happy? The last one is off-topic, the first and second one we may be able to help you with but the first one is still way too broad.
    – Tinkeringbell ♦
    Dec 24, 2017 at 15:31

3 Answers 3

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Sound like classic bullying. Popular kids can be bullies.

You should not have to learn to be happy with it.

I suggest you keep a list of his bully actions and report to your teacher again. Ask to be moved.

If your teacher does nothing then you and your parents should talk to the principal.

Bullying is serious. Your teacher should take action.

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For rumors, I'd suggest you just ignore it. I know it looks like taking a coward's way out but school bullies thrive on attention. They would keep doing the same as long as they are getting a reaction from you. If you just laugh off the rumors, they stop being 'Fun' for the people spreading it.

However, you can't ignore someone physically hurting you. You should immediately inform your parents and teacher/counselor. You can ask your parents to talk to your teacher regarding location change (if you are worried to do the same).

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I agree with both answers so far, that it might be helpful to involve your parents.

Also, if you informed one staff person, who did nothing, then it's probably a good idea to inform someone different at the school this time.

Keeping a log, as suggested by @Paparazzi, is also a good idea.

If you can check what the rules are at your school, that would be helpful. For comparison, where I live (New York State, U.S.), there are several types of rules that are designed to protect students from bullying:

  • state law (Dignity for All Students Act)
  • school district policy
  • school Code of Conduct

If the student who is on the receiving end has a disability, there's an additional one:

  • federal law (Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act)

Hopefully the rules where you go to school include:

  1. guidelines for what a school is supposed to do when bullying is reported
  2. protection from retaliation

It can be helpful to know what is supposed to happen when you file a report.

Believe it or not, in spite of all four of those rules theoretically applying with regard to my son, we have nevertheless had some frustrating experiences, with reports being ignored, or, worse, triggering retaliation.

Therefore, I suggest that do two things: report, yes, of course -- this should always be done; but also, work with a counselor, social worker or therapist, at the same time. You can work together to find ways to be less emotionally vulnerable to that student's crap.

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