I have been working as a military contractor for the past four years for a company that has treated me very well. This past year they were very supportive and reimbursed my travel and training costs for the PMP certification, sent me to the .conf and Splunk University in DC and gave me a bonus for getting my CISM certification earlier in the year.
I have a lot of loyalty to these folks. That said, I also have been trained up significantly and there are recruiters calling on me regularly with offers of 40 to 50 thousand dollars beyond what I am currently making. I want to stay with this company but with kids that have special needs and one of them accepted to an Ivy League college, I cannot justify turning away the higher paying positions.
How can I phrase a request for a raise so that the reality of the market is part of it without sounding like a threat to leave? My thoughts are I can sign a multi-year commitment if they are willing to meet my price.