My question is similar to this one but the details are a little different.
I have a friend D who takes things too seriously. Examples include:
- In our group (me, them and another friend O) we would often lightly tease each other. We never try to be mean. Myself and O take it in stride but whenever we tease D he would get defensive and try to explain why we are wrong.
- Very often when he debates an issue he wouldn't do it calmly.
- Recently we were playing a game where you explain a word to the other person. D was almost shouting and cursing when his teammate wasn't getting his explanation.
In such situations D becomes very intense, uses loud voice and often interrupts other people. It gets worse when he is drunk and he likes to drink.
It doesn't bother myself that much. However he got into shouting matches at the last two parties he attended and O got really upset when we met yesterday. Thus I think it is a problem which needs to be addressed.
How best to tell D that his behaviour makes us uncomfortable and that we think he should talk more calmly?
Edit 1: We haven't tried anything so far. Sometimes he later apologises for his behaviour. Sometimes we joke about it. Sometimes I awkwardly tell him "you could have handled it better". I want to know how to talk to him in a way that really brings the point across. After all he is already aware that there is a problem but that doesn't stop him from becoming loud and intense.
He wasn't always this way, it started about a year ago.
All of us are around 20 years old.