This happened two decades ago where one of my roommates was friendly to me. But, I was rash, rude and had a condescending attitude and never acknowledged her friendly gestures. She helped me when I was ill but I was too ashamed of myself to thank her.
Later, during my stay with her, everybody else understood what kind of a person I was and I was left alone. I never had any friends. Karma got back to me and one day she behaved in the same way that I behaved with her. It was not intentional from her end, but I guess it was more of tit-for-tat.
I am still ashamed of myself for that kind of behavior. I have grown up and in the last 10-15 years, I have never put any of my friends or roommates under such conditions.
Now, I understand that life is short and I need to apologize to her, personally or through a telephonic conversation. I have no idea where she lives, but I can get that information through social media. But, I truly resent my behavior during that period of time. I do not intend to give any reason for my behavior. I understand that it would deviate the original intention and would come across as an excuse rather than an apology.
I have tried to list out possible outcomes, if I ever talk to her.
- She might not be remotely interested in talking to me.
- She might ignore my apology.
- She might talk to me as a mere courtesy.
- She might forgive me with a big heart.
Or anything else that I cannot think of at this moment.
How can I personally apologize to her?