Greatest Hits

112
votes
10answers
62k views

How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?

I have a friend (a woman), who I met around 8 months ago. Since then, she has become my best friend and we are extremely close. Understandably, my wife is envious of the relationship and even ...
186
votes
18answers
56k views

How to ask cashier out for date

I am 21 years old and living in a large city in Germany where smalltalk in local markets is not a common thing. A new cashier joined my local food shop. She’s always at the checkout and never doing ...
95
votes
17answers
41k views

How do you deal with colleagues, acquaintances asking you for knowledge that you gained with months of effort?

I'm pretty sure that these are things that we all face. Let's say that you spent months researching about something (be it moving from full time job to being a freelancer, creating a website, starting ...
78
votes
16answers
56k views

Dreamt of another girl, want to tell my girlfriend, but how without getting smited?

So, I've recently dabbled in D&D, which is basically a bunch of people hanging out and talking (punching goblins aside). So this opened up my social circle. During my time doing this, I met this ...
18
votes
8answers
163k views

Girlfriend gets extremely angry over small issues, how can I help her?

When I went to live with my girlfriend a few years ago I was initially surprised by how she got very angry (using a very aggressive tone, shouting, ecc..) when I did "something wrong". By angry, I ...
187
votes
11answers
49k views

How to deal with unwanted attention at the swimming pool?

I swim twice a week in a sports complex. My hours are late and the place is almost empty. A few days ago a guy started a chat with me while I was in the sauna. I saw nothing wrong with it, so I ...
174
votes
20answers
63k views

How to avoid being seen as a cash cow by my family?

Situation I'm German, in my mid-20s and currently living together with my girlfriend without kids. I earn a fairly good salary for my age compared to other family members and was always a saver (...
45
votes
7answers
87k views

What are appropriate gender-agnostic alternatives to sir/ma'am?

In a situation where I need to quickly address someone I don't know, how can I do so without using gendered language? For example, as a retail worker, if a customer was to leave their credit card ...
93
votes
14answers
75k views

How to respond when a Doctor's Receptionist asks the reason for the appointment, after confirming appointment is made?

I have recently come across a situation that made me feel very uncomfortable, especially if it had been more of a personal issue. I contacted my doctor yesterday with pains in my hand/wrist as I didn'...
64
votes
15answers
79k views

How to let people know I don't appreciate being ignored in instant messaging?

When talking with people through instant messenger or texting, I find it rude when someone doesn't reply. The other day I had met up with someone I knew from school. He told me about a business idea ...
15
votes
6answers
117k views

How can I get my upstairs neighbors to stop stomping on my ceiling?

I've read about asking neighbors to be more quiet but none of the answers help my situation. I live in an older apartment building and my neighbor(s) upstairs tread very heavily when walking on their ...
85
votes
8answers
45k views

How can I avoid the awkwardness of a returning player who wears a low-cut shirt?

Sometimes I run RPG events for strangers, advertising on meetup.com to get people. At these events, I spend around three hours asking the players what the characters are doing and narrating the ...
163
votes
9answers
38k views

As a pedestrian, how to get someone to stop following you in a car?

Sorry, I just never had these situations occur until I moved into a neighborhood. Usually, we (well, my dogs) get most of our exercise in a large, unused field near my house. The people on our way ...
52
votes
13answers
16k views

How can I offer my prayers to an atheist colleague facing a serious personal situation?

A colleague of mine commented me the other day he is having a serious family issue. (An important sickness brought a relative very close to death.) As a Christian, I believe in the power of prayer. As ...
192
votes
14answers
55k views

How do I tell my new boyfriend that I make a lot of money?

I am usually very secretive about my income. No one really knows how much I make and I was taught to never talk about money to friends. I make about ten times what my boyfriend does. He's also a ...
130
votes
12answers
41k views

I'm 24 with a 4-year-old son. How to handle uncomfortable questions from people?

I'm 24 years old and I have a 4 year old son who was conceived by accident. I don't know about other countries but that's definitely not usual in mine (Spain). My son's mother and I broke up about ...
73
votes
8answers
20k views

How to quickly end a date?

I use a dating app to go on dates with people I have never seen in person. Usually we spend 1-2 hours to go for some coffee etc. I've had dates turn up that e.g. don't look like their picture/...
175
votes
14answers
32k views

How to tell people I'm not their tech support?

I have a rather common problem for people in my field of study (computer science). The problem is this: People, especially relatives, ask you stuff about their computer-related problems, for example: "...
141
votes
11answers
68k views

How to tell girlfriend I don't want to meet without hurting her feelings?

My girlfriend and I have "fixed" days we see each other, because we normally don't have time on other days. Sometimes, it happens that her training gets cancelled and she has time that evening and ...
140
votes
24answers
34k views

How do I answer the question “why are you vegan?” honestly, without making them resent me?

I am a vegan, only for ethical reasons. It is something I'm very willing to discuss. I have deliberated about it very carefully, for a long time, and have read papers and text books on the philosophy ...
137
votes
17answers
38k views

How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off?

Background: I have a coworker - let's call her Anne - who believes that saving energy wherever possible is everyone's most important responsibility. Anne has made that clear from the day that I joined ...
52
votes
16answers
24k views

How to communicate to my co-workers that they don't have to say “bless you” when I sneeze?

I am slightly annoyed by my co-workers who say "bless you" everytime I sneeze. It feels awkward to me to reply with a "thank you". I usually only thank people when they really helped me out in a ...
26
votes
4answers
29k views

How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan?

TL;DR When my mom bakes a cake for us (whoever is at home but it's usually me, my little sister, my father and her), she uses eggs (which are not vegan), even if I will be there. How can I tell her ...
83
votes
14answers
37k views

How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?

We recently moved into a new neighborhood, as did our neighbor, Jane. I have two young girls (4 and 5), and Jane has a boy and girl (7 I think?). My kids love to play with them, and her kids seem to ...
63
votes
20answers
39k views

I have a crush on a coworker but won't act on it, how can I tell my boyfriend about it and that I'll remain faithful?

TL;DR: I find one of my coworkers attractive but I know it'll pass over time. I don't want to engage in anything with this coworker, I'm just waiting for the end of the crush. I think I should tell my ...
109
votes
8answers
39k views

How can I tactfully refuse to switch seats on flights?

On flights, seatmates (strangers near my seat) have asked me to swap my aisle seat (reserved in advance, sometimes paid for), usually to my disadvantage as their seat has some snag (dirtier, narrower, ...
150
votes
12answers
45k views

My fiancée is addicted to a “free-to-play” (pay-to-win) game

My fiancée and I have been living together for exactly 4 years as of today. She and I have always loved video games, we both own several consoles (PS4, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Switch etc), we actually ...
184
votes
10answers
40k views

How to ask a vegan to stop telling me about veganism because I am not interested in it?

I work in an office with a couple of vegan coworkers. If I bring any animal products to lunch (even cheese, which they can smell), I'm likely to get a long earful about it. In the past, I've listened ...
49
votes
8answers
12k views

Active listening in casual conversation: why does it not work?

I’m on the spectrum. Language doesn’t always come as naturally to me as to others. I often have a need to confirm I understand the conversation partner, for which I use active listening techniques ...
42
votes
3answers
25k views

Two people from small group of friends want to have a “meeting” with me. The circumstances are strange and give me a bad feeling

I have a small group of friends that get together and hangout. Usually we hangout on Fridays. We usually go to the same person's home. One person from this group (call him Bob) contacted me. He said ...
52
votes
13answers
28k views

How can I politely get the attention of a coworker who is listening to music?

At work a few weeks ago, a coworker was listening to music with her earphones in, and I needed to ask her a question because a piece of code I was writing was not working and she often helps me debug ...
270
votes
11answers
35k views

What to do if you are accidentally following someone?

Imagine this: you're a male in their late twenties. It is dark and you're taking the shortest route to your home/car/llama. After sometime you realize that you have been following someone. To make it ...
34
votes
6answers
13k views

How can I have a conversation with my fiancé about a subject he doesn't want to talk about?

My fiancé has a bit of a troubled history. I knew that when we got together. He has some mental issues, which I attributed to years of being bullied. Only recently I managed to figure out the main ...
18
votes
10answers
22k views

Pointing the index fingers to one another as a way to excuse oneself: is this a common gesture?

I grew up in Italy, and there is a gesture I use that I'm wondering whether is strictly Italian or is used/understood elsewhere. It means either of: "I know this may bother you, but I'd really ...
76
votes
6answers
44k views

Ask a girl whether she would like to come back to a hotel with me on a night out without being creepy

A bit of a background, I am in my early 20's, I was in a relationship for 8 years, we have broke up on good terms, and I have never experienced "single life" so I don't have any experience in this ...
85
votes
11answers
43k views

Disclosing my past relationships to my girlfriend

My girlfriend and I are both in our early 20's in the US. We have been together for almost 3 years and have been living together for a few months now. While I've been with other girls before her, I ...
149
votes
3answers
22k views

I was mistakenly identified as a criminal, and this has caused rumors. How can I convince my friends that it is all a mistake?

A while ago, I was at a popular, busy local nightclub (this is in the Unites States) and ran into a friend of a friend. Let's call her Anne. After a bit of conversation with Anne, and mutual name-...
87
votes
13answers
38k views

Coworker scans my body. How to best tell him to stop?

So, a (male) coworker of mine has the annoying habit of scanning my (female) body each time he walks by. By "scanning" I mean he's looking me up and down; essentially making it clear he is looking at ...
132
votes
13answers
28k views

How can I explain to people that a programmer isn't a computer technician?

In Italy, a lot of people keep thinking that programmers are computer technicians. A programmer does completely different things, and in a company, I'm not the guy who should assemble your computer ...
43
votes
10answers
51k views

It's my birthday! How do I tell people who don't know, who might want to know, without being awkward?

It's my birthday*! It's a rather important birthday. There are a lot of people who might want to know such a thing, because of social customs or friendliness or something. One of those things. ...
73
votes
21answers
33k views

How can I deal diplomatically with a feminist neighbor who continuously delivers political speeches in private?

This question is unlikely to have a very strong cultural context so I welcome answers from members all over the world. I met this person (code name Jane D) when I was studying sociology at Masters ...
64
votes
7answers
13k views

Dealing with unwanted “Joking” physical contact

This isn't really a sexual thing, just something that makes me uncomfortable. So I hate having my hair up or braiding it or doing anything with it in general because I think it looks weird and it's ...
74
votes
7answers
62k views

How to determine if someone is busy or just doesn't want to spend time with me?

A friend of mine, Tim, is often busy. I've been trying to make plans with him to go out for drinks, but he seems to be busy every time I make this offer. This happens fairly often so I have a slight ...
125
votes
8answers
29k views

Requesting someone to give up their seat to me on public transport if I have an invisible disability?

I have an invisible disability. I do not really want to disclose what it is, but I have trouble standing up on public transport for longer than a few minutes. I would like to sit down. Now, the bus/...
132
votes
18answers
24k views

How to get spouse to empathetically listen to problems instead of offering solutions?

My spouse and I have a recurring problem. I will try to talk about my day, which may include a tough problem that has been frustrating me. Before I've even had a chance to explain what is going on, he ...
87
votes
9answers
20k views

What is the etiquette for asking a dog owner before I pet their dog?

Dogs are what I see mostly out on my day to day activities and I see some tied up outside shops and I'll pet them, I'll also pet some in passing i.e. just stroking them as I walk past and sometimes as ...
103
votes
6answers
22k views

How do I deal with other people's screaming children in restaurants?

I want to start off by saying that I'm not referring to "family friendly" restaurants or other venues where a loud, informal atmosphere might be expected. I'm specifically asking about dining ...
67
votes
15answers
17k views

How to tell friends something goes against my religion?

I am currently in middle school, and as many of you know, profanity is thrown around in middle school like clothes in a dryer. My religion prohibits me from being profane, how can I tell my friends ...
107
votes
7answers
34k views

How to gently turn down a female coworker who asked for a sperm donation?

I have a female co-worker (she's technically my superior but in another department). We've worked together for about 4.5 years and have been become pretty good friends, we'll always chat in the ...
45
votes
13answers
46k views

How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work?

I am the smart guy at school and people always want my help. I don't want to be rude, but they pester me and I try to escape but I can't -- I end up spending a lot of time helping them to do a ...

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