Greatest Hits

179
votes
12answers
38k views

How can I convey to my technologically inept parents that my IT job is mentally draining

To preface my question, I am an Irish 21 year old male currently on a college work placement. I work Monday through Friday from 7:30 AM - 5:00 PM as an RPA developer and Business Analyst. I commute ...
29
votes
10answers
55k views

WhatsApp: read and not reply without sounding rude?

Many people who contact me on WhatsApp send me (too) many messages. Most of those messages are pointless, some are useful and few are important. I usually make it a point to reply to the important ...
62
votes
12answers
39k views

Appropriate response when someone announces pregnancy?

When someone tells me that they or their partner are pregnant, my typical response is "Congratulations!" But I have found out that this remark is not always appropriate- notably when the pregnancy is ...
126
votes
14answers
41k views

How to tactfully check whether my new partner is a man or a woman?

I know this is a weird question, but I'm kinda annoyed. I met someone at my local gym. We started to talk from time to time and one thing leading to another we made out (not sexually) and are a ...
6
votes
1answer
52k views

How can I politely ask someone to call me? (As opposed to me calling them)

I recently contacted a restaurant where I had a bad experience, and a manager got back in contact with me. At the end of the email, they said: I would very much appreciate the opportunity to speak ...
100
votes
17answers
33k views

How can I politely ask my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner, without ruining the night out?

When I am on a dinner date with a girl (generally in her early twenties), how can I politely tell her that I am annoyed and feel disrespected when she unnecessarily uses her phone to send text ...
49
votes
9answers
54k views

How to deal with someone secretly taking pictures of you

As the title says: How should you react if you notice someone taking pictures of you without your consent? Background: It happened to me yesterday on the bus that a woman, of about my age, sat ...
102
votes
11answers
32k views

Complimenting a female co-worker without coming across as flirting?

I am asking this question for a friend. My friend is straight, male, and married to a woman and loyal to his wife. He is a somewhat socially awkward person. He works in an office of software ...
49
votes
8answers
13k views

Active listening in casual conversation: why does it not work?

I’m on the spectrum. Language doesn’t always come as naturally to me as to others. I often have a need to confirm I understand the conversation partner, for which I use active listening techniques ...
95
votes
15answers
27k views

How can I avoid coming across as condescending when telling a coworker I can't work on an issue right now?

Being a programmer, I largely run on the logical/factual side which tends to get me in trouble with my emails being read in tones not intended. One email, I even was sat down with my boss for being "...
112
votes
15answers
29k views

How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?

I live with my parents. My father likes to challenge nearly everything I say, up to the point of ridiculousness. I can prove many of the things he challenges but not immediately. In most cases his ...
62
votes
6answers
45k views

How to deal with a jealous girlfriend?

I really love my girlfriend. Out of all the girlfriends that I've had, she's the best. We get along very well on most matters and I have almost no complaints about her. But, she has only one problem: ...
75
votes
10answers
27k views

Friend keeps making jokes about my ethnicity which are not funny

My parents are from India, but I was born and raised in the Netherlands (which is where I still live). I am in university and a friend keeps making jokes about the fact that I am of Indian descent. ...
86
votes
8answers
54k views

How to reject a proposal from a close friend?

I have been friends with a girl at work for more than a year. I have always seen her as a friend and I am pretty sure I never did anything to lead her on. I am going to switch jobs in a couple of ...
55
votes
16answers
47k views

How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop?

Some background about me and my girlfriend: We are in a long distance relationship for more than four years, so we only see each other on weekends (unfortunately not every weekend), but this is about ...
121
votes
12answers
26k views

How do I tell a co-worker that just because something is a hobby doesn't mean I want to do it for free?

I enjoy baking, and on a number of occasions have baked cakes or other desserts for people in the office to celebrate their birthday or a work-related milestone. I've done this of my own accord, ...
61
votes
10answers
43k views

Losing interest in girl I date because too slow dating

I am currently dating a girl (19) who I (21) really like. She really does look good and has a great character. But one thing I actually at first really liked is turning kinda sour for me right now. ...
38
votes
13answers
35k views

How do I ask my dad's friend if he's interested in me?

This has been something on my mind that I just can't seem to shake off. Backstory: My family has a group of other families that we regularly meet up with. We vacation, have dinners, etc. My dad has ...
40
votes
9answers
30k views

How to talk to my brother-in-law about my concerns about his intent to propose to his girlfriend?

I was born and raised in Italy and got married to a wonderful girl from Spain whom I met in the UK. A year ago my brother-in-law has met a nice girl from Italy and held a long distance relationship ...
51
votes
4answers
23k views

How do I get my boyfriend to remove pictures of his ex girlfriend hanging in his apartment?

Background Information: We have been together for 2.5 years. We do not live together, but visit each others apartments around 5 times a week. He is in his early 30s and I am in my mid 20s. We live in ...
92
votes
11answers
47k views

How to clearly communicate that you're asking someone on a date?

It seems to me that it's sometimes difficult to both stay within the social protocol and also communicate your intentions clearly. As an example of this, I once asked a girl I knew out to see a ...
114
votes
17answers
35k views

How can I respond when someone asks me when I'm going to get married to my girlfriend?

Frequently I'll have my friends and family tease me, or ask questions about when my girlfriend and I are going to get married. Sometimes, they'll even make these kinds of jokes to me while she's ...
124
votes
14answers
25k views

How to deal politely with people asking about your job but unable to understand it?

I work as a researcher in a very abstract field of Mathematics (this kind of thing) It is very pure Mathematics, without any concrete applications. When I meet somebody for the first time, they often ...
89
votes
16answers
34k views

How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard?

Please note, I don't want to be mean or anything and I don't want to go "fat shaming" or things like that. Context With my SO and a couple of friends, we planned a hike for this summer. The GR20 is ...
34
votes
6answers
13k views

How can I have a conversation with my fiancé about a subject he doesn't want to talk about?

My fiancé has a bit of a troubled history. I knew that when we got together. He has some mental issues, which I attributed to years of being bullied. Only recently I managed to figure out the main ...
73
votes
10answers
26k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip?

A situation came up with my girlfriend where I drove her to an event that she needed to go to that was a two hour drive away (so a four hour round trip). After we got back, I charged her for half of ...
80
votes
9answers
22k views

How do I stop making people jump at home and at work?

I make a lot of people jump when I enter the room or try to get their attention. I am not sure what exactly I am doing wrong, but I would like to stop it so I am looking for suggestions. I have had a ...
80
votes
7answers
26k views

How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything?

Context Last summer, I had a temporary job which lasted 3 months (not more, not less) as a research engineer. It was decided that if my work gave promising results, my superior would write an ...
104
votes
7answers
35k views

How do I tell a love interest I'm probably too old for her?

I happened to be seated next to a lovely young lady on a flight recently. We hit it off really nicely, talked a lot during the flight, and she signaled she was single which is nice because I am too. ...
40
votes
13answers
21k views

How to get my coworkers and family to respect my hobby

Since I was a little boy, I have always been fascinated by model trains. As I advanced in age, I mastered the art of model train assembly and have gone on various trips around the country to show off ...
134
votes
18answers
39k views

How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding?

My parents are away from home for little private holidays on a quite regular basis (once every 2/3 months), where they leave me home alone with my 2 brothers for 2-5 days. I'm a 26-year-old female, my ...
52
votes
7answers
19k views

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

I live in a big city (in Paris, France) and take public transportation every day. I'm perceived as a woman and I will sometimes have to sit near people who spread out and take up more space than just ...
28
votes
9answers
14k views

How to explain my complicated family background to people that I don't know very well?

In 2016 I moved 8,000 km from Canada to Ireland with my Irish husband and daughter. It's coming up to Christmas and some people have asked me (including some newly found cousins) some seemingly ...
112
votes
11answers
47k views

How to set personal hygiene standards with my boyfriend?

I love my boyfriend very deeply, and we have an awesome relationship but as a person I struggle to bring up criticisms of others in my life without "downplaying" what I'm trying to communicate. For ...
42
votes
5answers
18k views

How do I politely hint to customers to leave my store, without pretending to need to leave myself?

I own a small gelato juice bar with a piddling number of seats for customers. I'm working alone right now; my employees returned to school and I haven't hired yet. Too frequently, after buying and ...
64
votes
7answers
13k views

Dealing with unwanted “Joking” physical contact

This isn't really a sexual thing, just something that makes me uncomfortable. So I hate having my hair up or braiding it or doing anything with it in general because I think it looks weird and it's ...
49
votes
11answers
16k views

How can women avoid talking during dates while keeping men at ease?

I am a 30 year old American woman. A few years ago, I read online that men and women communicate differently, specifically that men do not like to talk face to face and women like to talk face to face....
46
votes
11answers
17k views

How to avoid answering “what were you sick with”?

I have been on "sick leave" for a little more than a week due to mental health issues. I'm now back to work and my coworkers are asking "did you have the flu?" or other questions like that. I know ...
46
votes
9answers
23k views

How to significantly reduce my hairstylist's tip, without upsetting her?

My haircuts - here in Manhattan - are expensive; if you care to have a hairstyle at all, and not just a quick shave with clippers at the barber shop, then the minimum cost is about $55 dollars, which ...
21
votes
4answers
9k views

Having a conversation with girlfriend over possible future, when she shuts everything down?

I dated a girl (early 20's) a bit about half a year ago, while she was on a break from her ex relationship. There's about 700 km between us, in different European countries. We chat every day all day ...
138
votes
11answers
33k views

How to deflect awkward questions when shopping for women's clothing as a man?

This is going to be a bit of weird question, but I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I'm an Indian guy who's recently immigrated to Britain for college. I'm also very, how to put this, ...
89
votes
10answers
25k views

What to do with a friend who cheats in games?

What to do with a friend who slightly improves his chances in the card or board games we play, by, for example, picking another card while we don't look or turning the dice? The games are played for ...
82
votes
14answers
32k views

How to enforce a “No Shoes” policy in my apartment?

I like to keep my apartment floor clean, as I enjoy walking around with bare feet after a shower without having to worry about them becoming dirty. As such, I don't like shoes beyond the doorway in my ...
72
votes
11answers
29k views

Should I have my child apologize to someone after he called them fat?

I was accompanying my 4-year-old son into the bathroom where there happened to be a very large individual. At the sight of him, my son proceeded to say (very loudly), "Daddy, that man is really fat!" ...
39
votes
12answers
46k views

Talking to boyfriend about his close female friends

About our relationship: My boyfriend and I have been together happily for two years now. We both love each other very much and we're always growing closer. We're planning to move in together in a few ...
68
votes
6answers
29k views

How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people

Context I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., ...
90
votes
19answers
32k views

Sketchy “friend” recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how?

I have a very tricky situation that has come up. I am getting married in two weeks (as the groom, age 39), and my fiancée (bride-to-be) has invited a close friend "Lucy" who is bringing her own ...
31
votes
12answers
35k views

How to stop people from looking at my mouth when we're having a conversation?

Context I am a male in my early 20s. My work requires me to frequently communicate face-to-face with customers that are often strangers to me. Because of this I tend to take good care of my ...
82
votes
6answers
29k views

How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions?

My girlfriend has a habit of thinking of scenarios that will never happen and then asking me a question about them usually about our relationship and then getting upset if I don't answer correctly. ...
72
votes
10answers
28k views

How to tell a friend I won't pay them for a favor they did for me?

I recently received, out of the blue, a text message from a friend which very much surprised me. In the message, my friend mentions that I borrowed her Netflix account for about a month (she said she ...

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