Greatest Hits

19 votes
8 answers
45k views

Message being seen but not responded, what is the correct response?

I will sometimes ask a friend how their day was or another question via chat message. Sometimes the message will be marked as read but then they don't respond for a few day or even longer (6 months). ...
traisjames's user avatar
83 votes
12 answers
25k views

How to defuse or prevent an adult temper tantrum

Background: my partner and I are in our late twenties. We have lived together for about a year. He does maybe 20% of the housework, arguing that I have more free time because I work fewer hours. When ...
user_028's user avatar
  • 1,092
78 votes
9 answers
27k views

How do I stop making people jump at home and at work?

I make a lot of people jump when I enter the room or try to get their attention. I am not sure what exactly I am doing wrong, but I would like to stop it so I am looking for suggestions. I have had a ...
scc268's user avatar
  • 597
95 votes
11 answers
28k views

How to deal with (male) friends mocking me about my weight choices

A while ago, I went through a phase. I gained weight, lots of it. I'm not proud of what I had become. Recently (the last four months) I have been going to the gym regularly, losing weight and getting ...
E. Huckabee's user avatar
  • 1,623
82 votes
12 answers
20k views

How do I ask for an espresso if there's a good chance they don't know how to make it?

I like coffee and I live in Russia which is not generally a coffee drinking country. More often than not, when you ask for an espresso in Russia, you get 100 to 150 ml of liquid in your cup. The ...
Quassnoi's user avatar
  • 703
47 votes
11 answers
24k views

How to kill off my DnD character, without upsetting the Dungeon Master who has invested time into creating his backstory?

For the past two years, I've been playing the tabletop roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons with a single group of 5 friends. Up till now, we have played as the same characters, which grow as part ...
user avatar
72 votes
13 answers
32k views

How can I convince my partner to accept my best friend instead of wanting to break up?

Background My partner (27F) and I (26M) have been together for about a year. We live together. Throughout our relationship, my partner has been jealous of my friendship with my best friend (25F) of 4 ...
Anon Ymous's user avatar
99 votes
11 answers
26k views

I have been asked to keep a secret about a surprise that I believe will end poorly

My parents have been divorced for roughly 40 years. The separation was unpleasant, as divorces frequently are, but so were the following decades. They have not spoken to each other outside of a ...
Beofett's user avatar
  • 6,391
61 votes
9 answers
26k views

How can I convince my significant other to stop double standards?

I've been dating my girlfriend for two years (I'm 20 and she's 19) but I often find that we're running into situations where I'm being held to a standard that she won't comply with, despite a joint ...
Pacified's user avatar
  • 809
61 votes
12 answers
23k views

How can I remind someone to do a task when reminding them makes them less likely to do it?

I have a bit of a problem with my girlfriend, in that things aren't getting done because she is forgetful about things she doesn't like to do. We've had many discussions on the topic, and we both ...
Anoplexian's user avatar
  • 3,318
67 votes
12 answers
24k views

How do I approach telling my date that I won't lend her money?

I've started dating (i.e. having meals and drinks) with a school friend who I haven't seen in a while. In that time, my life has worked out quite well (home-owner, stable job, good health etc.) ...
user avatar
71 votes
14 answers
31k views

How do I respond to racist remarks from a coworker?

Recently, I've had a couple short conversations with a coworker that have taken a racist turn, and I'm not really sure how to respond. We don't work directly together, but often see each other in ...
lucasvw's user avatar
  • 789
128 votes
10 answers
30k views

I live in a desirable, world-famous vacation spot. How do I handle visiting friends and set healthy boundaries?

I currently live in a desirable locale which is a world-famous vacation spot. Suddenly, I have a lot of friends and they want to visit me. I don't want to be rude but I have a few issues: For them, ...
magma's user avatar
  • 1,163
64 votes
9 answers
23k views

How to make clear to people I don't want to answer their "Where are you from?" question?

I live in the UK but am not originally from here, having moved in the last decade. Quite often when I talk to people I get asked where I'm from. It usually seems to be in response to my accent, as I'...
George T's user avatar
  • 661
57 votes
6 answers
21k views

How do I tell my teammate to stop replying to emails not addressed to him?

I'm a contractor who has recently joined a new project in the last month or so. I am ~8 hours ahead of the rest of the team and so often send emails outside of their working hours. After almost every ...
user avatar
72 votes
10 answers
27k views

How to talk about my comfortable lifestyle without sounding like I'm bragging?

Most of my friends have gone down the marriage with 2.4 kids route. Great for them but it does eat most of their time/money. Not having done that, I can afford a decent house, to have a couple of ...
ThirdPrize's user avatar
55 votes
11 answers
11k views

How do I effectively forestall gifts for my birthday?

I have a milestone birthday coming up, and a friend insists on giving me a party. But please, no presents! I don't like stuff to begin with, I have everything I need or want already, and am in de-...
user avatar
25 votes
9 answers
19k views

How to tactfully acknowledge a woman on Women's Day?

Today is International Women's Day and I would like to tell the women who are around me and affect me "Happy Women's Day" as a gesture of appreciation of what they doing, they can be from my family or ...
Ankit Sharma's user avatar
  • 2,276
91 votes
9 answers
23k views

Covering for person who refuses to tip waiter without offending?

I had some guests in town visiting from Europe this past weekend. They wanted to treat me to a nice meal as a thank you for me hosting them so we went out to one of my favorite restaurants, which was ...
Duke Leto's user avatar
  • 2,303
54 votes
16 answers
19k views

How to act when people bring a baby to work?

I am uncomfortable interacting with babies because I personally don't find them cute or interesting to interact with. I also am not good at faking positive interactions with babies, because I really ...
SlowLoris's user avatar
  • 4,376
144 votes
16 answers
26k views

Arguing science with a passionate non-scientist?

As a physician for more than three decades and a Molecular Biologist before that, I know a lot of science and medicine (I also keep up with the literature.) I find that people hold on tightly to ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
63 votes
12 answers
23k views

Stopping a relationship with a good friend because It's too overwhelming and new for me

Context : I'm in my early forties and I've always been a loner and never really made friends. Until recently I didn't even know what was so great about them. I don't have any problems socializing, ...
user11781's user avatar
  • 631
106 votes
5 answers
22k views

How to interrupt someone while they are telling a group wrong/embarrassing information?

I've recently read a great question on Workplace.se and it reminded me of a similar situation I've come across a couple of times, where I did not know how to interrupt the speaker without embarrassing ...
Summer's user avatar
  • 8,500
80 votes
6 answers
27k views

How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage?

I am a recent graduate from a school in the United States that has a large number of international students. During my time there, I became friends with someone who I will refer to as "Suzy." Suzy and ...
Link0352's user avatar
  • 4,216
43 votes
10 answers
42k views

What do you do if someone is telling you something you already know about, such as a fact or something that happened?

One thing that has been happening lately is that people will tell me something that I already know. Naturally, I respond saying something like, "oh I heard/read about that". However, I feel like when ...
scorgn's user avatar
  • 469
20 votes
10 answers
30k views

Pointing the index fingers to one another as a way to excuse oneself: is this a common gesture?

I grew up in Italy, and there is a gesture I use that I'm wondering whether is strictly Italian or is used/understood elsewhere. It means either of: "I know this may bother you, but I'd really ...
Nicola Sap's user avatar
80 votes
12 answers
26k views

How can I ask if something's free, without looking stingy?

Some waiters offer something (e.g. distilled water; more amuse-bouches, hors d'œuvre or bread) without disclosing if it's free. How can I clarify tactfully? I always decline, as I don't know how to ...
user avatar
60 votes
12 answers
18k views

How do I tell my parents "I don't want to go to church" over the holidays?

This is a little bit of a complicated problem. My mom and dad are both Catholic, and they have a tradition - every Easter and Christmas, they take the immediate family (themselves, me, and my sister) ...
Thomas Ward's user avatar
30 votes
9 answers
39k views

How to politely decline an opportunity to be involved in a pyramid scheme?

I have a friend who is involved in a Multi-Level Marketing scheme (which sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme). She often invites me to events where she sells things. When we meet outside these nights, ...
Fodder's user avatar
  • 2,447
31 votes
7 answers
29k views

How to reply to a message or email after a long delay?

I have a habit of taking a very long time to reply to emails and messages. Since some of these are from friends with whom this is my main form of contact (i.e. unless it is organised via messages and/...
TheTermiteSociety's user avatar
32 votes
8 answers
43k views

What does not initiating and not asking questions back mean?

I have an online friend who I have been talking to for the past few months. Let's call her Alice. We get along well and share some interests and can talk about stuff for a while. I've begun to feel ...
Pyritie's user avatar
  • 465
6 votes
1 answer
32k views

What is the etiquette for responding to "Don't worry about it" with something you are sorry about

I was meant to buy travel tickets for somebody, but they all got sold out before I could. There were reasons for them not being able to buy the tickets themselves. I was helping out, they asked me to ...
insanity's user avatar
  • 633
66 votes
10 answers
25k views

How to stop a colleague from talking to me about work when I'm on my lunch break?

More often than not, I eat my lunch at my desk. There aren't any shops or cafés nearby, so this suits me just fine. I usually put my headphones in and browse the news or SE to take a break from work. ...
Cthulhu's user avatar
  • 832
56 votes
10 answers
21k views

How to politely interrupt recruiters who keep cold-calling me during my work hours?

About a year and a half ago I was waist deep in a job search. Having found a new job, I've since attempted to remove my resume from the internet. However, this hasn't stopped recruiters from finding ...
Jess K.'s user avatar
  • 22.7k
16 votes
3 answers
43k views

How do I tactfully ask a close friend out?

Context I became friends with a girl named Penny around a year ago when she started dating my good friend Kyle; Penny and I became friends when she became a part of the friend group Kyle and I were a ...
Arthas's user avatar
  • 2,582
44 votes
11 answers
22k views

How to avoid answering "what were you sick with"?

I have been on "sick leave" for a little more than a week due to mental health issues. I'm now back to work and my coworkers are asking "did you have the flu?" or other questions like that. I know ...
Ael's user avatar
  • 17.2k
6 votes
7 answers
40k views

Gentle way of asking for feedback after the first casual date?

I've met someone online, and after a few very pleasant exchanges we decided to go on a casual date, which I also quite enjoyed. Ever since that moment, our online exchanges started dying down. As of ...
fullerene's user avatar
  • 163
102 votes
12 answers
22k views

Meeting someone who used to bully me

When I was at school, I received quite a lot of verbal bullying. This waxed and waned over the years, and generally it was patchy enough that I could put up with it in the long term, even if in the ...
user2390246's user avatar
  • 1,120
45 votes
4 answers
19k views

A coworker mumbles to herself when working. How can I ask her to stop?

My coworker, who sits right next to me, keeps mumbling to herself when she types or reads. It is a not-too loud, low-voice mumble that I can hear without understanding words. It really irritates me ...
YohanRoth's user avatar
  • 559
53 votes
7 answers
20k views

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

I live in a big city (in Paris, France) and take public transportation every day. I'm perceived as a woman and I will sometimes have to sit near people who spread out and take up more space than just ...
Ael's user avatar
  • 17.2k
30 votes
6 answers
31k views

How to stop a friend from being "touchy-feely" towards me?

Background I have a friend who I met in college (we're both 19 year old males) and we attended the same classes together. Throughout the semesters he was a little "touchy-feely" (e.g. putting his arm ...
enlighten_me's user avatar
  • 1,406
44 votes
7 answers
15k views

How to say "I'm an adult now" to my parents?

I have an issue with my parents meddling in my personal choices. Let's say they are neutral habits, which means you can't say it's good or bad, like shaking my feet when I'm idle - note that this does ...
Vylix's user avatar
  • 8,468
59 votes
6 answers
20k views

How do I tell a woman that her pants have a menstruation stain?

I was working in my work space today and a female coworker came to give me some information that I needed, then left. I'm male. Suddenly, when she was on her way back to her work space, I saw a ...
Hoose's user avatar
  • 714
49 votes
11 answers
32k views

How can I convince my girlfriend not to worry about gifts I give her?

Our Background My girlfriend was born in Laos and is currently living with her family in France. Money has always been a problem for her and her family. Her parents both don't earn a lot and ...
user avatar
81 votes
22 answers
21k views

Is it rude to ask tourists where they are from?

“So… Where are you from?” It's normal small talk for us, most Indians; and only general whereabouts is expected. In my tours in India, I've met some foreigners along the way, usually western. I ...
NVZ's user avatar
  • 10.2k
121 votes
14 answers
24k views

Is it acceptable to violate table manners in public due to my disability?

I have a tremor, which varies in intensity. I recently ordered a sandwich at a restaurant, which was pretty easy to eat, but I gave up trying to eat the salad, because I was unable to do so with a ...
San Franciscan's user avatar
78 votes
11 answers
31k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
gparyani's user avatar
  • 1,713
149 votes
3 answers
23k views

I was mistakenly identified as a criminal, and this has caused rumors. How can I convince my friends that it is all a mistake?

A while ago, I was at a popular, busy local nightclub (this is in the Unites States) and ran into a friend of a friend. Let's call her Anne. After a bit of conversation with Anne, and mutual name-...
Scott Smith's user avatar
20 votes
5 answers
26k views

How to stop constantly correcting everyone and everything?

I'm 23. All of my life, I've had a strange need to correct things. It doesn't matter how pointless, mundane, or unimportant something is; I need to correct it. And this isn't a simple habit. If I ...
Thomas Reinstate Monica Myron's user avatar
32 votes
11 answers
19k views

How can I effectively tell people that their defensiveness over me bringing up an issue is part of the issue?

Seems like it would be kind of self evident, but it's something that I encounter fairly often when talking to some folks about issues of discrimination and bias that drives me crazy... When someone ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.8k