Greatest Hits

94
votes
5answers
13k views

How to help a male-presenting person shop for women's clothes?

I'm a new store manager for a women's clothing store and I have been receiving male-presenting customers that are looking for women's clothes for themselves. I want to give them the best, supportive ...
49
votes
4answers
14k views

How to make a gift without seeming creepy?

This month I'm going to visit London, how Pokémon fans knows for a very limited time in London will open a Pokémon center and I'll be there in that period. I'm very happy for what was a lucky ...
72
votes
9answers
21k views

How can I politely tell someone I won't do my job for free?

I am a relatively open individual who is shy (for lack of a better word) around new people. One of my coworkers has a business and is asking for my help as a financial analyst outside of work, and ...
81
votes
6answers
27k views

How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage?

I am a recent graduate from a school in the United States that has a large number of international students. During my time there, I became friends with someone who I will refer to as "Suzy." Suzy and ...
47
votes
11answers
22k views

How to kill off my DnD character, without upsetting the Dungeon Master who has invested time into creating his backstory?

For the past two years, I've been playing the tabletop roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons with a single group of 5 friends. Up till now, we have played as the same characters, which grow as part ...
41
votes
10answers
35k views

What is the etiquette for asking whether someone has a special diet

Is there an etiquette for asking if there are certain things a person does not want or cannot eat? If I cook for a group of people, is it on them to tell me about it, or do I ask them? If it's on me ...
97
votes
11answers
26k views

How to deal with (male) friends mocking me about my weight choices

A while ago, I went through a phase. I gained weight, lots of it. I'm not proud of what I had become. Recently (the last four months) I have been going to the gym regularly, losing weight and getting ...
84
votes
9answers
37k views

How to get friends/partner to stop texting me pointless pictures/videos

I have a handful of close friends, including my partner, who frequently text me with a completely random picture or video of something cute and/or funny that they found on the internet. For example, a ...
71
votes
6answers
16k views

How do I tell my girlfriend she's been buying me books by the wrong author for the last nine months?

Help! For the last nine months my girlfriend has been buying me books by the wrong author, fully believing that she's treating me to work by my favourite writer (who incidentally she believes is a ...
54
votes
11answers
11k views

How do I effectively forestall gifts for my birthday?

I have a milestone birthday coming up, and a friend insists on giving me a party. But please, no presents! I don't like stuff to begin with, I have everything I need or want already, and am in de-...
13
votes
6answers
34k views

How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude?

I have an appointment in another town, I asked a friend if I could stay the night at my friend's place through a text message. I would like a response from this person so that if I cannot stay at my ...
76
votes
14answers
26k views

How to help significant other lose gracefully in games?

My significant other (SO) and I like to play card and boardgames from time to time. The problem is she always throws a tantrum when losing (crying, being mad). When she gets the slightest bit behind ...
71
votes
14answers
30k views

How do I respond to racist remarks from a coworker?

Recently, I've had a couple short conversations with a coworker that have taken a racist turn, and I'm not really sure how to respond. We don't work directly together, but often see each other in ...
68
votes
12answers
22k views

How do I approach telling my date that I won't lend her money?

I've started dating (i.e. having meals and drinks) with a school friend who I haven't seen in a while. In that time, my life has worked out quite well (home-owner, stable job, good health etc.) ...
122
votes
14answers
24k views

Is it acceptable to violate table manners in public due to my disability?

I have a tremor, which varies in intensity. I recently ordered a sandwich at a restaurant, which was pretty easy to eat, but I gave up trying to eat the salad, because I was unable to do so with a ...
47
votes
9answers
28k views

How to politely tell a friend that I want to hang out with her, but not invite others?

I have a crush on my college friend and want to take her out to cinemas or other places. When I ask her out, she always asks me if her female friend could go along with her. I know it's not a date ...
59
votes
6answers
21k views

How do I tell my teammate to stop replying to emails not addressed to him?

I'm a contractor who has recently joined a new project in the last month or so. I am ~8 hours ahead of the rest of the team and so often send emails outside of their working hours. After almost every ...
56
votes
8answers
14k views

How can I more clearly ask people to accommodate for my autism?

I've got autism. This isn't always clear to people*. Sometimes I need accommodations for a sensory issue to participate in a normal way. One time, there was a colleague with a strong aftershave, for ...
67
votes
12answers
22k views

Stopping a relationship with a good friend because It's too overwhelming and new for me

Context : I'm in my early forties and I've always been a loner and never really made friends. Until recently I didn't even know what was so great about them. I don't have any problems socializing, ...
74
votes
13answers
29k views

How can I convince my partner to accept my best friend instead of wanting to break up?

Background My partner (27F) and I (26M) have been together for about a year. We live together. Throughout our relationship, my partner has been jealous of my friendship with my best friend (25F) of 4 ...
124
votes
10answers
28k views

I live in a desirable, world-famous vacation spot. How do I handle visiting friends and set healthy boundaries?

I currently live in a desirable locale which is a world-famous vacation spot. Suddenly, I have a lot of friends and they want to visit me. I don't want to be rude but I have a few issues: For them, ...
55
votes
16answers
19k views

How to act when people bring a baby to work?

I am uncomfortable interacting with babies because I personally don't find them cute or interesting to interact with. I also am not good at faking positive interactions with babies, because I really ...
100
votes
11answers
25k views

I have been asked to keep a secret about a surprise that I believe will end poorly

My parents have been divorced for roughly 40 years. The separation was unpleasant, as divorces frequently are, but so were the following decades. They have not spoken to each other outside of a ...
58
votes
10answers
20k views

How to politely interrupt recruiters who keep cold-calling me during my work hours?

About a year and a half ago I was waist deep in a job search. Having found a new job, I've since attempted to remove my resume from the internet. However, this hasn't stopped recruiters from finding ...
92
votes
16answers
24k views

How to address a double standard where my religious colleagues consider it OK to discuss religion, but then ask me not to?

I'm working in a small office of about ten employees, all of whom are religious apart from myself. Although I'm open about my atheism and write about it on my blog, I am careful not to discuss ...
143
votes
16answers
25k views

Arguing science with a passionate non-scientist?

As a physician for more than three decades and a Molecular Biologist before that, I know a lot of science and medicine (I also keep up with the literature.) I find that people hold on tightly to ...
59
votes
15answers
31k views

How to stop people from touching me without having to freak out at them

I have a problem that I haven't been able to find an amicable solution to so far. I really don't like being touched, to the point where if someone is touching me unexpectedly I get confusion rising to ...
39
votes
6answers
16k views

What is Soda Fountain Etiquette?

The other day I was walking with my cup to the Soda Fountain1 at a restaurant. Someone was already using the fountain, but the drink they were getting was on the far right side, while what I wanted ...
33
votes
11answers
18k views

How can I effectively tell people that their defensiveness over me bringing up an issue is part of the issue?

Seems like it would be kind of self evident, but it's something that I encounter fairly often when talking to some folks about issues of discrimination and bias that drives me crazy... When someone ...
61
votes
12answers
15k views

How do I tell my parents “I don't want to go to church” over the holidays?

This is a little bit of a complicated problem. My mom and dad are both Catholic, and they have a tradition - every Easter and Christmas, they take the immediate family (themselves, me, and my sister) ...
89
votes
9answers
24k views

I'm in a committed relationship and I'm being hit on in the workplace - how do I stop it without bringing it to HR?

Some Background I'm a 21 year old female I'm living in west Europe I am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend The Problem I recently started an internship for the summer which is amazing ...
107
votes
7answers
21k views

How to avoid explaining science to strangers

So, I was at a Barbeque the other day and a situation occurred that, well, I'm getting tired of. It happens almost every time I meet a new group of people. When you meet someone, eventually you come ...
62
votes
10answers
19k views

How to ask my local baker if he is always selling freshly baked bread

Ok, so it may looks like I'm making too much of a big deal of this situation, but, as a typical French guy, I'm taking this issue rather seriously. The bakery I'm used to buying my bread from was ...
78
votes
11answers
25k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
43
votes
7answers
14k views

How to say “I'm an adult now” to my parents?

I have an issue with my parents meddling in my personal choices. Let's say they are neutral habits, which means you can't say it's good or bad, like shaking my feet when I'm idle - note that this does ...
38
votes
3answers
16k views

How do I get my neighbour to stop disturbing with loud music?

I live in an apartment, and my neighbour who is retired, lives by himself, and partially deaf likes to play loud music most days per week (morning or evening). This completely stresses me out, and can’...
63
votes
6answers
29k views

How do I politely indicate that I want to go home?

Situation: I hang out with A for a while. Having lunch together, shopping for a bit. I now feel tired and I want to go home. I don't dislike the person and I don't want to give them the impression I ...
63
votes
9answers
21k views

How can I convince my significant other to stop double standards?

I've been dating my girlfriend for two years (I'm 20 and she's 19) but I often find that we're running into situations where I'm being held to a standard that she won't comply with, despite a joint ...
79
votes
12answers
21k views

How can I ask if something's free, without looking stingy?

Some waiters offer something (e.g. distilled water; more amuse-bouches, hors d'œuvre or bread) without disclosing if it's free. How can I clarify tactfully? I always decline, as I don't know how to ...
81
votes
22answers
20k views

Is it rude to ask tourists where they are from?

“So… Where are you from?” It's normal small talk for us, most Indians; and only general whereabouts is expected. In my tours in India, I've met some foreigners along the way, usually western. I ...
67
votes
11answers
25k views

What could you possibly say to a friend who cooked a meal you didn't enjoy at all?

Some friends invite you to their home. There's just the 4 of you (2 couples). S/he is cooking. At the end, s/he is asking you how was the meal s/he made for you. You didn't enjoy it at all, food was ...
41
votes
13answers
28k views

How to ask a new friend about his sexuality?

A few weeks ago, I met a guy, and we started a friendship. We're still getting to know each other, but as time passes I have more and more reasons to believe he has different interests than I (a ...
27
votes
5answers
8k views

Recovering from stumbling over words

There are times when I'm telling a story to friends, having a discussion in a meeting or giving a presentation when I'll stumble over my words. This may result in a word coming out sounding like ...
23
votes
9answers
14k views

How to tactfully acknowledge a woman on Women's Day?

Today is International Women's Day and I would like to tell the women who are around me and affect me "Happy Women's Day" as a gesture of appreciation of what they doing, they can be from my family or ...
102
votes
12answers
20k views

Meeting someone who used to bully me

When I was at school, I received quite a lot of verbal bullying. This waxed and waned over the years, and generally it was patchy enough that I could put up with it in the long term, even if in the ...
66
votes
10answers
21k views

How to stop a colleague from talking to me about work when I'm on my lunch break?

More often than not, I eat my lunch at my desk. There aren't any shops or cafés nearby, so this suits me just fine. I usually put my headphones in and browse the news or SE to take a break from work. ...
70
votes
10answers
28k views

When and how do I tell the person I've been “Netflix and chilling” with that I love her?

We have been seeing each other for almost 3 months, she is 24, I'm 26 years old. We did not 'date' in the regular way, but she comes over to my place regularly (weekly), where we usually 'netflix and ...
54
votes
4answers
20k views

My cousin doesn't know that I know he received money that belongs to me - how do I approach him about receiving the money?

My cousin was supposed to receive money from a sale, keep a percentage and then send the rest over to me. I found out that not only did he receive more money from the sale of my item ($550 instead of ...
69
votes
10answers
21k views

How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues

Now this is a sensitive topic, and I do not wish to offend anyone's sensibilities - but at the same time, I want to know of an effective way of dealing with the disproportionate emotional work ...
60
votes
12answers
18k views

How can I remind someone to do a task when reminding them makes them less likely to do it?

I have a bit of a problem with my girlfriend, in that things aren't getting done because she is forgetful about things she doesn't like to do. We've had many discussions on the topic, and we both ...

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