Greatest Hits

73
votes
10answers
26k views

How to talk about my comfortable lifestyle without sounding like I'm bragging?

Most of my friends have gone down the marriage with 2.4 kids route. Great for them but it does eat most of their time/money. Not having done that, I can afford a decent house, to have a couple of ...
107
votes
5answers
21k views

How to interrupt someone while they are telling a group wrong/embarrassing information?

I've recently read a great question on Workplace.se and it reminded me of a similar situation I've come across a couple of times, where I did not know how to interrupt the speaker without embarrassing ...
41
votes
13answers
36k views

How to ask a new friend about his sexuality?

A few weeks ago, I met a guy, and we started a friendship. We're still getting to know each other, but as time passes I have more and more reasons to believe he has different interests than I (a ...
63
votes
4answers
15k views

How can I tell my date that one of her close friends outed her to me as trans?

TLDR: The person I started dating is/might be trans, but never told me and I'm not supposed to know. How can I approach the matter with her? What is the best way to do it without causing her ...
28
votes
9answers
14k views

How to explain my complicated family background to people that I don't know very well?

In 2016 I moved 8,000 km from Canada to Ireland with my Irish husband and daughter. It's coming up to Christmas and some people have asked me (including some newly found cousins) some seemingly ...
47
votes
11answers
23k views

How to kill off my DnD character, without upsetting the Dungeon Master who has invested time into creating his backstory?

For the past two years, I've been playing the tabletop roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons with a single group of 5 friends. Up till now, we have played as the same characters, which grow as part ...
39
votes
3answers
13k views

I'm in marketing in a team whose name sounds too much like mine. What to do when introducing myself?

Let's say I'm in a small team called Adhyan, and my name is Adhyan. (I've changed the names for privacy.) There's no correlation, and I happened to join this team because I wanted to learn a topic ...
97
votes
11answers
26k views

How to deal with (male) friends mocking me about my weight choices

A while ago, I went through a phase. I gained weight, lots of it. I'm not proud of what I had become. Recently (the last four months) I have been going to the gym regularly, losing weight and getting ...
44
votes
9answers
7k views

Why is it socially not acceptable to point at someone with your finger?

I am on the autism spectrum and I tend to point at things, including people. The other day, I was talking with a coworker about some tasks I needed them to do and, while I was talking, I was also ...
81
votes
6answers
27k views

How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage?

I am a recent graduate from a school in the United States that has a large number of international students. During my time there, I became friends with someone who I will refer to as "Suzy." Suzy and ...
71
votes
14answers
30k views

How do I respond to racist remarks from a coworker?

Recently, I've had a couple short conversations with a coworker that have taken a racist turn, and I'm not really sure how to respond. We don't work directly together, but often see each other in ...
25
votes
6answers
39k views

How to politely refuse money from someone who is insistent?

This question is based in the UK, with no specific religious or cultural preferences Often after doing a favour, some people will offer me money to say "thank you" or as some form of compensation, ...
54
votes
11answers
11k views

How do I effectively forestall gifts for my birthday?

I have a milestone birthday coming up, and a friend insists on giving me a party. But please, no presents! I don't like stuff to begin with, I have everything I need or want already, and am in de-...
58
votes
7answers
15k views

How to dismiss intrusive questions from a colleague with whom I don't work?

I have a colleague of mine at work. He's just my peer, not my boss or a higher rank, I do not report to him in any way. When I'm late for work (for different, sometimes very personal reasons), he ...
74
votes
13answers
30k views

How can I convince my partner to accept my best friend instead of wanting to break up?

Background My partner (27F) and I (26M) have been together for about a year. We live together. Throughout our relationship, my partner has been jealous of my friendship with my best friend (25F) of 4 ...
68
votes
12answers
22k views

How do I approach telling my date that I won't lend her money?

I've started dating (i.e. having meals and drinks) with a school friend who I haven't seen in a while. In that time, my life has worked out quite well (home-owner, stable job, good health etc.) ...
38
votes
3answers
23k views

How do I get my neighbour to stop disturbing with loud music?

I live in an apartment, and my neighbour who is retired, lives by himself, and partially deaf likes to play loud music most days per week (morning or evening). This completely stresses me out, and can’...
59
votes
6answers
21k views

How do I tell my teammate to stop replying to emails not addressed to him?

I'm a contractor who has recently joined a new project in the last month or so. I am ~8 hours ahead of the rest of the team and so often send emails outside of their working hours. After almost every ...
63
votes
6answers
33k views

How do I politely indicate that I want to go home?

Situation: I hang out with A for a while. Having lunch together, shopping for a bit. I now feel tired and I want to go home. I don't dislike the person and I don't want to give them the impression I ...
100
votes
11answers
26k views

I have been asked to keep a secret about a surprise that I believe will end poorly

My parents have been divorced for roughly 40 years. The separation was unpleasant, as divorces frequently are, but so were the following decades. They have not spoken to each other outside of a ...
59
votes
15answers
34k views

How to stop people from touching me without having to freak out at them

I have a problem that I haven't been able to find an amicable solution to so far. I really don't like being touched, to the point where if someone is touching me unexpectedly I get confusion rising to ...
67
votes
12answers
22k views

Stopping a relationship with a good friend because It's too overwhelming and new for me

Context : I'm in my early forties and I've always been a loner and never really made friends. Until recently I didn't even know what was so great about them. I don't have any problems socializing, ...
57
votes
16answers
19k views

How to act when people bring a baby to work?

I am uncomfortable interacting with babies because I personally don't find them cute or interesting to interact with. I also am not good at faking positive interactions with babies, because I really ...
124
votes
10answers
28k views

I live in a desirable, world-famous vacation spot. How do I handle visiting friends and set healthy boundaries?

I currently live in a desirable locale which is a world-famous vacation spot. Suddenly, I have a lot of friends and they want to visit me. I don't want to be rude but I have a few issues: For them, ...
122
votes
14answers
24k views

Is it acceptable to violate table manners in public due to my disability?

I have a tremor, which varies in intensity. I recently ordered a sandwich at a restaurant, which was pretty easy to eat, but I gave up trying to eat the salad, because I was unable to do so with a ...
145
votes
16answers
25k views

Arguing science with a passionate non-scientist?

As a physician for more than three decades and a Molecular Biologist before that, I know a lot of science and medicine (I also keep up with the literature.) I find that people hold on tightly to ...
58
votes
10answers
20k views

How to politely interrupt recruiters who keep cold-calling me during my work hours?

About a year and a half ago I was waist deep in a job search. Having found a new job, I've since attempted to remove my resume from the internet. However, this hasn't stopped recruiters from finding ...
68
votes
11answers
28k views

What could you possibly say to a friend who cooked a meal you didn't enjoy at all?

Some friends invite you to their home. There's just the 4 of you (2 couples). S/he is cooking. At the end, s/he is asking you how was the meal s/he made for you. You didn't enjoy it at all, food was ...
24
votes
6answers
48k views

When should I use Mrs. or Ms. in emails?

When I am writing emails, I prefer to use either Mr., Mrs., or Ms. when addressing the recipient's name. When I am addressing a woman, I may not always know their marital status and don't know whether ...
63
votes
9answers
22k views

How can I convince my significant other to stop double standards?

I've been dating my girlfriend for two years (I'm 20 and she's 19) but I often find that we're running into situations where I'm being held to a standard that she won't comply with, despite a joint ...
94
votes
16answers
24k views

How to address a double standard where my religious colleagues consider it OK to discuss religion, but then ask me not to?

I'm working in a small office of about ten employees, all of whom are religious apart from myself. Although I'm open about my atheism and write about it on my blog, I am careful not to discuss ...
39
votes
8answers
31k views

How to ask a friend to remove/not post photos of me on social media?

We recently attended a friend's birthday party where some pictures were taken. I had no problem with it, as long as these photos were not put online and shared. The majority of my friends (I'd say ...
61
votes
12answers
16k views

How do I tell my parents “I don't want to go to church” over the holidays?

This is a little bit of a complicated problem. My mom and dad are both Catholic, and they have a tradition - every Easter and Christmas, they take the immediate family (themselves, me, and my sister) ...
33
votes
11answers
19k views

How can I effectively tell people that their defensiveness over me bringing up an issue is part of the issue?

Seems like it would be kind of self evident, but it's something that I encounter fairly often when talking to some folks about issues of discrimination and bias that drives me crazy... When someone ...
45
votes
8answers
15k views

How to tell my Mom that I don't care about someone without upsetting her?

Last week my Grandmother had surgery. My Mom asked me why I didn't visit her. I don't care about my Grandmother due to horrible things she does sometimes. For example, out of revenge, she creates ...
29
votes
3answers
9k views

Classmate is being deported - how could I politely offer to buy their furniture?

My classmate is being deported from the U.S. due to visa issues and has no intentions of returning in the coming years - they plan to join a lab at university in their home country. They're really ...
53
votes
11answers
37k views

How do I get someone to call me by the name I prefer?

Let's say my name is Fred. My family and friends call me that and when I introduce myself I use that name. Well, of course you can imagine that I'm registered as Frederick, but nobody calls me that. I ...
44
votes
9answers
32k views

How to respond when someone tells you about their failure

I tend to be relatively successful (I'm a student) compared to my friends, so many times, when my friends tell me about their failures (did poorly on a test, got rejected by a college, etc.), I'm not ...
43
votes
7answers
14k views

How to say “I'm an adult now” to my parents?

I have an issue with my parents meddling in my personal choices. Let's say they are neutral habits, which means you can't say it's good or bad, like shaking my feet when I'm idle - note that this does ...
61
votes
12answers
19k views

How can I remind someone to do a task when reminding them makes them less likely to do it?

I have a bit of a problem with my girlfriend, in that things aren't getting done because she is forgetful about things she doesn't like to do. We've had many discussions on the topic, and we both ...
81
votes
12answers
23k views

How can I ask if something's free, without looking stingy?

Some waiters offer something (e.g. distilled water; more amuse-bouches, hors d'œuvre or bread) without disclosing if it's free. How can I clarify tactfully? I always decline, as I don't know how to ...
102
votes
12answers
21k views

Meeting someone who used to bully me

When I was at school, I received quite a lot of verbal bullying. This waxed and waned over the years, and generally it was patchy enough that I could put up with it in the long term, even if in the ...
82
votes
22answers
20k views

Is it rude to ask tourists where they are from?

“So… Where are you from?” It's normal small talk for us, most Indians; and only general whereabouts is expected. In my tours in India, I've met some foreigners along the way, usually western. I ...
89
votes
9answers
24k views

I'm in a committed relationship and I'm being hit on in the workplace - how do I stop it without bringing it to HR?

Some Background I'm a 21 year old female I'm living in west Europe I am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend The Problem I recently started an internship for the summer which is amazing ...
16
votes
4answers
31k views

I forgot my friend's birthday, how can I convince him to forgive me?

TL;DR I forgot the birthday of my best friend. Later, when I called him to wish him a Happy Birthday. He is refusing my phone calls. I think he is angry at me. How can I convince him to forgive me? ...
108
votes
7answers
21k views

How to avoid explaining science to strangers

So, I was at a Barbeque the other day and a situation occurred that, well, I'm getting tired of. It happens almost every time I meet a new group of people. When you meet someone, eventually you come ...
78
votes
11answers
27k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
62
votes
10answers
19k views

How to ask my local baker if he is always selling freshly baked bread

Ok, so it may looks like I'm making too much of a big deal of this situation, but, as a typical French guy, I'm taking this issue rather seriously. The bakery I'm used to buying my bread from was ...
66
votes
10answers
22k views

How to stop a colleague from talking to me about work when I'm on my lunch break?

More often than not, I eat my lunch at my desk. There aren't any shops or cafés nearby, so this suits me just fine. I usually put my headphones in and browse the news or SE to take a break from work. ...
43
votes
5answers
20k views

How do you tactfully write that someone's reply doesn't truly answer your question?

I need to email someone that his reply doesn't truly answer the questions in my original email. 1 below appears too brusque, and would insult and offend: Sorry, but your reply doesn't appear to ...

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