Questions tagged [approach]

For questions where the author is looking for a way achieve their goal. Such as to properly convey certain feelings or to inform someone about a problem.

Filter by
Sorted by
Tagged with
89
votes
16answers
35k views

How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard?

Please note, I don't want to be mean or anything and I don't want to go "fat shaming" or things like that. Context With my SO and a couple of friends, we planned a hike for this summer. The GR20 is ...
89
votes
13answers
32k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to be my gym buddy without hurting her feelings?

I've recently started dating a girl and we're an item, and are happy hanging out together. We have strong feelings for each other. She is somewhat overweight (not hugely so but not at a healthy ...
88
votes
17answers
21k views

How to deal with someone who ignores your lack of knowledge?

I purposely made this question generally broad so that it can apply to more people in need of similar interpersonal skills, but I can easily make it about a specific scenario if needed. Problem My ...
64
votes
9answers
14k views

How can I tell my mom to not cause herself so much stress when I'm visiting?

Situation I visit my parents about one time per month, for one to two days. Sometimes I manage to visit them twice, in rare cases I have to skip a month. So we see each other in person regularly (and,...
64
votes
8answers
16k views

How do I announce my presence to someone who is not aware of it without frightening them?

First of all, I'm not sneaking up on people on purpose. But it seems, that I'm quite Ninja-like in my movements and this has caused problems. People are immersed in something (e. g. computer, TV, ...
56
votes
8answers
14k views

How can I more clearly ask people to accommodate for my autism?

I've got autism. This isn't always clear to people*. Sometimes I need accommodations for a sensory issue to participate in a normal way. One time, there was a colleague with a strong aftershave, for ...
55
votes
16answers
51k views

How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop?

Some background about me and my girlfriend: We are in a long distance relationship for more than four years, so we only see each other on weekends (unfortunately not every weekend), but this is about ...
52
votes
13answers
28k views

How can I politely get the attention of a coworker who is listening to music?

At work a few weeks ago, a coworker was listening to music with her earphones in, and I needed to ask her a question because a piece of code I was writing was not working and she often helps me debug ...
46
votes
16answers
15k views

How to explain to coworkers that being vegan does not mean I know everything about it?

The other day, I was in a company meal with ~20 coworkers and someone offered me wine before adding: "At least you know this is vegan." (because I'm vegan). I don't like alcohol so I ...
40
votes
4answers
11k views

How to respond to an unfalsifiable accusation?

I recently shared a blog post I had written to a relevant subreddit. I've posted to this subreddit a few times and got good responses. My most recent post had a response on it when I checked it in ...
38
votes
4answers
17k views

How to approach a friend about his girlfriend asking to sleep with me?

Context My girlfriend (let's call her Claire) shares a flat with a couple (let's call them Bob and Alice). Bob is a close friend of mine, and I get along pretty well with Alice. The three of them used ...
36
votes
8answers
26k views

How to deal with girlfriend cancelling weekends plan

In the middle of the year (around June) my girlfriend mentioned that she would go to a friend's party. She didn't mention the exact date, she didn't know when it would be. In the last couple of weeks,...
35
votes
6answers
11k views

How to make girlfriend feel better about health and body

For context, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now, and we're really close, especially when it comes to talking things over. We would both describe ourselves as nerds, and would ...
34
votes
6answers
13k views

How can I have a conversation with my fiancé about a subject he doesn't want to talk about?

My fiancé has a bit of a troubled history. I knew that when we got together. He has some mental issues, which I attributed to years of being bullied. Only recently I managed to figure out the main ...
34
votes
7answers
9k views

How can I be more persuasive when assuring people that I am perfectly fine and healthy?

For most of my life, I have had problems keeping up with eating "normal" amounts of food at meals. I feel full way faster than many friends. I still eat enough, as I am not even considered underweight ...
31
votes
3answers
10k views

How to tell my usual plumber their service isn’t needed any more?

So my regular plumber who has serviced my boiler for several years has become quite unreliable lately (hard to get hold of and book) and I’ve booked someone else to do the annual service this year. ...
30
votes
5answers
6k views

How to communicate to coworkers that I am not comfortable with celebratory hugs

I have three coworkers that I work with directly (one being the manager of our "pod"). As a team we generally work on weekly goals with a meeting at the end of the week to go over accomplishments and ...
24
votes
3answers
11k views

How to tell a professor that I don't mind if he is busy?

Sorry this got a little long... I am self-studying a course. Two years ago I began to use some lectures by a professor from the United States (I'm from a different country). He is retired now. While ...
23
votes
12answers
8k views

How to ask my partner not to postpone chores?

We've been living together for about a year. Things don't always go as well as they should due to my partner postponing chores A LOT. I on the other hand like to be organised as doing things on time ...
23
votes
6answers
6k views

What to talk about with a person you meet through a mutual friend on the bus? [closed]

It often happens to me, that I met some friend in the bus/tram/subway etc., but my friend is not alone, but with his/her friend (whom I don't know at all). We are talking about something, my friend ...
22
votes
8answers
17k views

How do I politely tell a stranger to stop making annoying noises I can't name?

Background I've encountered this problem several times and under different circumstances. It really annoys me when people constantly make noises with their mouth. Now, I can't name them and they come ...
21
votes
3answers
4k views

How to avoid a lengthy conversation with someone from the neighborhood I don't share interests with

I'm here on behalf of my neighbor, who we'll call Betty. She is a 40 year old woman and she has some issues dealing with one of her neighbors, also a woman, but who is 20 years old. Let's call her ...
19
votes
5answers
4k views

How to explain to my girlfriend that I enjoy certain video games?

I would like to ask for advice about my current situation, my girlfriend (26) and I (31) have been together for 2 months now and we really have lots in common and always have a great time together but!...
18
votes
2answers
1k views

How to continue a friendship, which was lost years ago [closed]

I lost many of my friendships when I completed my high school and joined college. It happened more than 4 years ago. Now I would like to continue the friendship with few friends (say 2 to 3). I have ...
16
votes
7answers
3k views

How do I reveal to my father that his father is not his biological father?

I've been using DNA testing to supplement my genealogical research and have made the rather startling discovery that the man whom I knew as my paternal grandfather was not in fact my father's ...
15
votes
4answers
2k views

We moved together unexpectedly and early. How do I approach my boyfriend about arising problems?

Current Situation My boyfriend of 5 months is currently living with me in my aparment. He moved in about 2.5 months ago, because he was kicked out by his roommate with a 2 week notice and completely ...
15
votes
2answers
980 views

How can I estimate the length of my responses or reactions to avoid wasting others' time?

I often notice for myself, as well as for certain other people, that depending on personality and some other subtle factors, there are types of people who (usually unintentionally) start over-...
13
votes
4answers
1k views

How to support a friend when you disagree with their choices?

Background I (M) have a very close friend (F) who has recently been affected by an autoimmune disorder. Doctors' responses have been, essentially, 'well, we don't know why this happened but this is ...
11
votes
3answers
1k views

How to prompt a stranger for a dance while out with my dancing companion?

Recently I started taking dancing lessons with my dancing partner. We enjoy it and also go out together in clubs or bars with a dance floor for practicing what we learned or just for fun. My partner ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I ask someone in a quiet library to stop clearing their throat?

I have ADHD and as such have terrible difficulty maintaining my concentration, especially when working on homework. Because of this, I often like to work on the "quiet floor" of my university's ...
11
votes
4answers
497 views

How to overcome the anxiety occuring when one wants to ask for help? [closed]

Very often, when I need someone's help (be it a little advice or the need of an item, be it at the work or among friends, and so on) a feeling of stress comes over my mind. I found out it has various ...
11
votes
5answers
2k views

How to deal with a boss that privately texts an (uninterested) coworker

At the annual summer party of our company I have introduced a friend and colleague of mine to my supervisor. My colleague is from another department at another office and we have known each other some ...
10
votes
2answers
888 views

How do I set a meeting with someone who keeps rescheduling?

I met this girl at my university. We started talking and it went on for about an hour. The conversation was really good. Later, I added her on Facebook, she said "We should get a coffee sometime" (in ...
9
votes
5answers
2k views

How to tell a coworker that you would like to date them?

I think I'm in an intricate and precarious May-June/May-July situation. A woman colleague, let's call her Mary, seems to have a crush on me. She has: clung to my arm while walking, tried to coyly ...
9
votes
2answers
988 views

How do I get comfortable around boys? [closed]

I grew up in a family where most of us are girls. I have a sister and a little brother. My Dad started working abroad when I was 7 years old and only comes home once a year. We communicated most at ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I deal with my girlfriends anxiety affecting my relationship with my friends

My girlfriend has anxiety issues for which she currently is prescribed medication. The medication helps but she still struggles with social occasions, especially when she does not know many people ...
9
votes
1answer
1k views

Being told to get into a relationship despite state of mental health, how to ask why?

In spite of my current mental health, friends, family, and health care professionals* often tell me to consider getting into a relationship without telling me why I should get into one. As a ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

Asking my partner why they don't want me to pleasure them

Whenever we are intimate, my partner never lets me pleasure them. If I try to continue after I'm done, they just shoot me down with something like "it's OK," or "you don't need to,", or "don't worry ...
8
votes
7answers
6k views

Best way to talk about my doubts with my girlfriend.

I'm following this stack from the beginning but posting this anonymously was needed. Context I'm in my mid-twenties and with my girlfriend for more than 8 years now. We are from a western Europe ...
8
votes
4answers
2k views

How to explain high sensory processing sensitivity to (own) child?

I'm a father of two children (5,3) and I happen to be "gifted" with a high sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). We also have reason to believe that this applies to our kids, too, but not to ...
8
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I help someone to be ready for a relationship and overcome his fears?

So, the story is a little complicated and I always have a little trouble expressing myself, I guess that's also one of the reasons why I'm asking for help. First, I'm a Brazilian guy, about to turn ...
8
votes
1answer
460 views

How do I stop a person I am not interested in being friends with from contacting me?

There is a middle-aged Scandinavian educated chap (similar age) neighbour who befriended me (I am male too), even though I never wanted be anything more than neighbour or associate at best, but he is ...
8
votes
2answers
904 views

How to insist (and convince) on a course of action when you are not in a position of power

I help a young teenage boy learn English at a non-profit organization where I am a volunteer. The boy is considered at-risk youth as he's the child of immigrant parents and of low socioeconomic status....
8
votes
1answer
470 views

How do I tell my internship supervisor that I want to start my next task?

So I am currently working on my internship. My Supervisor gave me a task where I have to do a certain System as my first task. I'm almost done with the system, however, I encountered a problem where I ...
8
votes
1answer
650 views

How to apologize to a friend I hurt two years ago without scaring them?

I have a friend I met back in elementary school. We didn't talk for awhile but got reacquainted in high school, and at that time, we became friends on FB. I liked to send stuff to her if I found ...
8
votes
1answer
479 views

How to finish a project with a dishonest and unreliable partner without jeopardizing it

Context: I just completed a 2-month long science research project with my friend as a partner. The project was elective and beyond our assigned coursework. We presented the work at a fair last week ...
7
votes
1answer
590 views

How to politely decline a personal service without offending the servicer?

Background I am blind. I work as a software developer in a company. I hate all kinds of gatherings. If I have a choice, I would spend my time alone with a computer. Situation I was attending my ...
7
votes
2answers
519 views

How to convince my band members to play different songs?

I am currently playing in a band of beginners with varying degrees of skill. It all started because my friend and I (the two guitarists) are enrolled in a music school that closes for the summer, and ...
6
votes
2answers
520 views

How can I better improve peoples views of me?

I frequent a chatroom with a small community. Many types of discussions occur that I don't usually join in on. It's partially because I often don't feel like contributing because what I have to say ...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

How to find out if my text messages are appreciated?

This might be a very basic thing for many but love is definitely not my strong subject at all! There is a girl I like very much, long story short, we started to text each other around 3 - 4 times a ...