Questions tagged [arguments]

For use on questions where multiple people are exchanging opposing views in a heated or angry way.

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8
votes
2answers
511 views

How to find balance between sounding defensive and staying silent during an argument?

My girlfriend says I never accept mistakes, don't say sorry, always try to reason why I did something, get defensive, say same thing again and again to support myself during the argument after I mess ...
5
votes
2answers
669 views

How to respond to an obviously unfair offer in a high-stakes negotiation without offending the other side?

Background A relative of mine, whom I'll call Tania, owns the larger bedroom of a two-bedroom apartment in Moscow, Russia, while the other bedroom is owned by a guy completely unrelated to her, whom I'...
8
votes
2answers
769 views

How to deal with sibling who has had a grudge against me for 6+ months over a minor issue?

I have a younger brother who is 19. We don’t have anything in common. I’m a quiet person and don’t like to talk about irrelevant things. My brother doesn’t understand that I’m different, he thinks I ...
4
votes
1answer
711 views

How to deal with mild verbal aggressiveness in debates?

I usually try to live by and follow non-violent communication (NVC) principles in my interactions with others. I don't always express myself following a "Observation / Feeling / Need / Request" ...
2
votes
0answers
592 views

How can I explain that I don't appreciate my girlfriend's reaction to her gifts? [closed]

For Valentine's Day, my girlfriend told me she doesn't want chocolate or flowers. Instead of those things, she wants a specific beauty product which is roughly the same cost of chocolates and flowers. ...
6
votes
1answer
795 views

“Kicking the dog”, ie post hoc anger at third parties

Don't worry no actual dogs are involved. I'm interested in trying to understand a behavior that I've noticed for much of my life (and I'm not young). I want to try to understand the motivations and ...
41
votes
7answers
10k views

How can I explain a problem without finger-pointing?

I try to avoid all kinds of "everyday life" arguings, but sometimes I just want an explanation for minor problems. "Why are you late?" and "You know where we keep documents. Why put it in a different ...
13
votes
2answers
1k views

How to communicate better with my wife when she is in a bad mood and is slightly mean to me?

Long story short, I have depression/anxiety. Some days I’m in a low mood and am extra sensitive. My wife, like all of us, gets in her own moods, usually slightly aggravated, or snippy, or a little ...
32
votes
7answers
9k views

Friend is very nitpicky about side comments I don't intend to be taken too seriously

I have a close friend who seems to hyper-analyze some things I say and gets upset with things he thinks I didn't give much thought to. One example is: we were hanging out and talking about card ...
6
votes
3answers
679 views

How do I argue in an impersonal manner?

Whenever I argue, people always seem to take it very personally. I see it more as problem solving, where the problem is whatever is being argued (99.9% of the time, the disputed premise is purely ...
2
votes
2answers
922 views

How to mend a friendship when my friend thinks I'm in the wrong and I don't wish to apologize

I just created this account because I really don't know how to deal with this. A close friend and I have been talking for a few months about her coming to my hometown for the summer, but we didn't set ...
10
votes
2answers
426 views

Mediating Between a Parent with High Expectations and a Defensive Sibling

I have a father with high expectations who, I believe, genuinely wants my brother and me to succeed in life. He's a traditional man, and a bit conservative (firmly believing in the "Good ol' days . ....
20
votes
4answers
5k views

How can I make an argument that my time is valuable? [closed]

I'm a software engineer, but before that, I attempted to run my own mobile computer repair business. That business never got off the ground, so I went into a career in software development. Fairly ...
18
votes
6answers
10k views

How to let other coworkers know that I don't share my coworker's political views?

Background Today, I was in my workplace kitchen where I was having lunch. There were other coworkers having lunch there too. One of them (let's call him Bob) was talking about political stuff and ...
2
votes
2answers
3k views

How to deal with “why not” as a response to the a why question? [closed]

I work with people who when asked "why are you doing it that way" or "why [any question]?" their response is always "why not"? My feeling is always that this a frivolous response and indicates a poor ...
9
votes
1answer
1k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to accept my choice of charity to support?

I support a charity based in my country that helps people escape a specific oppressive government and relocate to other countries as refugees. If I'm being completely honest, I don't really know why I ...
12
votes
6answers
2k views

How to tell a stranger that the way I wish to educate my child is none of his/her business?

Consider the following scenario: I'm taking my kid (5 years old) to a coffeeshop and we do some 'math problems'. By math problems I mean that I explain him about the numbers, addition, counting and so ...
12
votes
3answers
916 views

How to argue for a point of view without appearing like I am sharing that view?

A little Background first: Due to events in my past I am very self aware and practiced a lot, trying to understand motivations of others without letting my personal views/motivation induce bias into ...
6
votes
3answers
4k views

My girlfriend wants to move in, but we're having issues

I've been dating a girl for about 3 months and for the past month she has basically been living with me. She has her own apartment, but since we live in different towns it's easier for her to stay ...
4
votes
3answers
959 views

Someone criticized my “casual player game”, how to make them think?

Background I love candy crush and candy crush like games. I love grouping things by color and I'm very good at it. I play it in my free time, especially when I need to relax my mind. I know such games ...
12
votes
5answers
1k views

How to avoid having always the same debates with a friend of mine?

I have a friend, let's call him Jack, who likes to debate and who takes any chance to try and turn the topic of a conversation into the one he prefers. Last time it happened, I had posted a news on ...
6
votes
2answers
592 views

How to apologize but also signal that you are also owed an apology?

I usually drive my girlfriend to work on Mondays because the nearest car park is just over a mile away (although when the weather is nice she does enjoy the walk). On this occasion I suggested she ...
2
votes
1answer
222 views

How should I deal with people who don't answer questions? [closed]

I have been trying to argue using logic and facts but I think you know how certain people in "power" use different techniques to stay in power. I have noticed that for quite a number of years, quite a ...
0
votes
2answers
461 views

How to deal with unreasonableness

My attitude is that one cannot reason with someone who, for whatever cause, is being unreasonable. If that party has got it into their head that they are right, even despite blatant contrary evidence, ...
11
votes
6answers
5k views

How can I counter the argument “there is better and there is worse” [closed]

Context The context is "in general" but let's say that we are in any discussion that imply improving something in my life. So it can be with a GF, with a parent, my manager etc.. The ...
2
votes
1answer
366 views

How to argue with father who denies everything and makes illogical arguments? [closed]

Not sure how to approach this question so please bear with me. Every member of my family, including me, has a problem with my father's behaviour. I am trying to find a way to solve it. Background ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

What to tell family who ask about a friend I had a falling out with? [closed]

I had a very friend who I was close with that I knew for a long time. My family even knew him from birthday parties and we had gone on trips together etc. My friend recently involved me in a scam and ...
33
votes
7answers
7k views

How can I make my parents (and parents-in-law) accept that I don't want to have children? [duplicate]

First I would like to give a bit of context: My companion and I are 25 years old; we will probably get married in a few years I luckily have a comfortable situation, and have been working for 2 years ...
4
votes
4answers
3k views

How to deal with my girlfriend closing up when we have a problem?

My and my gf have been together for about 3 months now and everything has been pretty good. But recently we have spent some time apart since she is at home (we live at college and she's home for the ...
13
votes
6answers
3k views

How to interact with people who are indifferent to information security? [closed]

Background: I’m an amateur programmer, make both desktop and mobile applications with a moderately deep background in computer science (from my experience and undergraduate studies). A lot of friends ...
112
votes
15answers
32k views

How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?

I live with my parents. My father likes to challenge nearly everything I say, up to the point of ridiculousness. I can prove many of the things he challenges but not immediately. In most cases his ...
2
votes
1answer
921 views

Long-Term Relationship and 'a specific hobby' [closed]

I've been a part of a happy long-term relationship over the past 4-5 years, and we've been engaged for some of that. The relationship started when I moved to a new town, so I left a lot of my life ...
8
votes
1answer
563 views

Dealing with friends are attempting to recruit me for a job

I'm going to leave as many details out as possible to keep this anonymous since they are in tech, but here we go: I have some friends who are starting their own company. They have some small capital, ...
0
votes
2answers
591 views

How to contact to partner after breakup who does not want to talk [closed]

My partner broke up with me few days ago and it is very surprising and devastating for me. For last 6 months we were in a great relationship and everything was going good. So, a little bit about the ...
3
votes
1answer
407 views

How do I encourage/nudge people to critically analyze my arguments in a discussion?

I enjoy a healthy discussion. People may trip over various random aspects of my statements that I didn't consider and object which allows me to (1) learn how to formulate better next time and (2) ...
5
votes
5answers
1k views

How might it be appropriate to ask someone to back up a claim they make in conversation?

The other day I was having dinner with some in-laws, and one of them made a claim which I fundamentally disagree with. I thought about asking him to explain his reasoning and tell him that I disagreed ...
11
votes
3answers
2k views

How to tell friend/roommate/landlord that I am looking for other places to live?

This topic is directly related to this: How to sooth relationship between roommate and my sister (who lives with us)? Tensions between my sister/dependent and our roommate have continued to get worse,...
34
votes
11answers
10k views

Is a verbal response that directly expresses anger always the wrong choice? [closed]

Me: I understand, I'm just saying that I had plans but cancelled them because you said you were gonna show. Him: Well if I knew you were going to be such a baby about it, I would have told you I wasn'...
6
votes
4answers
3k views

How to sooth relationship between roommate and my sister (who lives with us)?

So background information. My sister, who is currently 16, has been living with me for the past couple years after some problems with our Mother arose. This past May we moved off base into a home with ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How should I interrupt a long monologue during an argument?

I have a really close acquaintance, Emily, who knows me very well.* We often have constructive debates about life things. During them, she always wants to help me, and we argue calmly and ...
6
votes
4answers
1k views

How can I deal with a teacher who became stubborn because I previously was incorrect and arrogant? [closed]

I have this French teacher and, during one lesson, I corrected her and I was wrong. Then I was arrogant and incorrect and she became angry at me. She ended her rant by saying that I should phrase it ...
8
votes
6answers
1k views

How to convince a group of friends to drop a topic that's making the group uncomfortable?

My close friend is a very dominant (DISC) person. Last time, he bashed my ex-high school when we hang out with some friends. He had valid points, and I had admitted it, but nevertheless, I asked him ...
12
votes
4answers
2k views

How do you stress that safety is non-negotiable at work?

I've been struggling with a recurring problem with my immediate supervisor at work for the last year or so. He tends to take a very lax attitude when it comes to safety policies, procedures, and ...
3
votes
4answers
1k views

Enforcing to be treated respectfully [duplicate]

My issue What's the best way to deal with a verbally aggressive/bully colleague? Context Objective background I have started a new job 2 months and two weeks ago as a software developer. It's my ...
3
votes
4answers
488 views

How to stop/prevent opinion based/nuisance arguments? [closed]

Situation Lets say John is describing to Peter the project he is working on. When John starts to talk about technology stack he is using, one of the technologies "triggers" Peter. Then, Peter starts ...
41
votes
17answers
21k views

How can I tell my boyfriend “I told you so” without sounding too full of myself?

What I'm about to describe is in relation to this How can I tell a friend they need to help with what they promised because what they promised can't wait? My boyfriend and I decided to help out ...
3
votes
1answer
8k views

Should I respond when someone says “I don't want to argue”? [closed]

I'm having a (fairly) civil argument with my team leader at work and we can't agree. The other party makes two or three blaming statements which I feel are untrue, but then immediately says "I don't ...
2
votes
1answer
699 views

Is it right to ask someone to keep the curtains drawn if we're claustrophobic? If so, how?

In my classroom, there's a student who wants to keep the curtains closed/drawn all the time. When the sun starts peeping in through the windows, she draws the curtains, keeping the sun out. As an ...
55
votes
17answers
39k views

Dealing with people who always try to prove you wrong in a conversation [closed]

Consider the following scenario: You have an acquaintance, who would probably be really good at turncoat (the game in which one person has to rapidly switch sides again and again on a topic). ...
21
votes
4answers
1k views

How to express the statement “Let's agree to disagree” in a polite and more effective way?

In real life or even on the Internet, there are many occurrences when you can't agree with the person standing next to you and want to move on from the conversation without agreeing or surrendering. I ...