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Questions tagged [autism-spectrum]

For questions relating to or asked by people on the autism spectrum.

2
votes
0answers
167 views

Taking space and engaging in casual group conversations [closed]

I often have difficulties taking space in casual group conversations, like when I go to the pub after work with a couple of friends or similar, even though I'm completely comfortable with the company. ...
13
votes
6answers
1k views

What is an alternative to brutal honesty that doesn't involve lying?

I have been criticised on more than one occasion by friends and romantic partners for being "too honest". An example of this might be someone asking me if a dress looks good, and I will say if I think ...
7
votes
3answers
504 views

Communicating tiredness issues to your boss

TL;DR: I didn't participate in the Christmas work meal, how to say that it was because I have tiredness issues without sounding like a bad recruit? I'm newly hired in a company and I'm still on ...
6
votes
2answers
523 views

How to acknowledge an apology without saying thanks

Someone has recognised that their behaviour toward me was unacceptable. What can I say that acknowledge the have apologised without thanking them for it? I'm stuck with : "Thanks, I appreciate ...
10
votes
3answers
571 views

How do I use body language to indicate that I am thinking?

My Problem When people give me large amounts of information, I will take plenty of time to process it before giving a response. The amount of time I take usually ranges from 30 seconds to a few ...
13
votes
2answers
689 views

What non-verbal communication can I use to ask if someone want physical comfort?

Sometimes, someone will talk to you about a very emotional and/or difficult topic. In this scenario, you are supposed to give comfort to the person with whom you are talking. As someone on the ...
7
votes
4answers
815 views

How do I tell my aunt that I need some time off?

Background I'm someone that isn't really social and social gatherings tend to be very tiring for me (this is at least partially due to the fact that I'm on the autism spectrum). I have noticed that ...
7
votes
3answers
1k views

Could expressed attraction be an absolute prevention of someone feeling attraction to me?

For as long as I can remember having first experienced love I've had trouble finding a partner and building a strong relationship. More so, the only relationships I found, followed the pattern, that ...
6
votes
3answers
493 views

Going to live in someone else's house--how to ask for rules?

Background I have found a new job in another city. While I'm looking for an apartment I will be living in my cousin's house. I have never lived in her house before (and I have been at her house for ...
18
votes
7answers
11k views

How do you tell a Facebook friend that they might be on the autism spectrum?

TL;DR How do I tell this Facebook friend that they might be on the autism spectrum without being too intrusive? Background I have this Facebook friend that I care deeply about and with whom I ...
5
votes
3answers
726 views

How to get a friend with Asperger's to engage in more of a mutual conversation

So I've known this girl as a stranger for years and this past week we actually interacted and chatted for an hour. She told me a lot about herself, and expressed interest in hanging out the next time ...
2
votes
1answer
751 views

How do I interpret this situation my crush has given me? [closed]

Please reword if necessary My crush (same one as in one of my other questions) is now a good friend of mine. She certainly does like me as a friend, and I want to remain as her friend but I also have ...
10
votes
5answers
1k views

How do I ask others to more quickly let me know about social mistakes I make?

I recently suffered a bit of a fallout in a teaching group I'm frequently a participant in. This was because I kept making brutally honest criticisms about their style of teaching (e.g. "your teaching ...
18
votes
4answers
2k views

I am very close to breaking up with my girlfriend for selfish reasons; how do I talk to her about our relationship?

I started dating this girl just over a year ago. We first met 7 years ago at college; we were only acquaintances back then. Fast forward a few years, we recognized each other at a work party and ...
33
votes
13answers
8k views

How to encourage a child with autism to practice reading?

I'm asking on behalf of friends of mine who have a daughter who is diagnosed with "high functioning" autism. Let's call her Jane. Jane went to a regular primary school but couldn't learn in this ...
47
votes
4answers
7k views

How can I politely reject someone's advances?

I am a high functioning autistic woman and I recently went to a meet up for other autistic people and met a guy. I let him add me on facebook and we talked a little bit and he tried to ask me out ...
22
votes
3answers
1k views

How to address fallout from my meltdowns and to avoid ruining social relationships

The problem While I am a very high functioning autistic and can act "normal" most of the time. Most people don't know I have autism, esp at work or other controlled situations so it's not a problem ...
101
votes
10answers
58k views

How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?

I have a friend (a woman), who I met around 8 months ago. Since then, she has become my best friend and we are extremely close. Understandably, my wife is envious of the relationship and even ...
14
votes
4answers
1k views

How do I explain to extended family/acquaintances that my husband has high-functioning Autism, and has particular habits?

So, I have been married since March 2018 to my loving husband. All through our relationship, I have known that he has mild aspergers, combined with being very introverted and deaf (I am deaf as well) ...
107
votes
15answers
21k views

How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?

I live with my parents. My father likes to challenge nearly everything I say, up to the point of ridiculousness. I can prove many of the things he challenges but not immediately. In most cases his ...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

How to confess severe mistakes to family?

I committed a grave error four years ago, I cannot exactly tell what is about, but is something that I must never do. My sister had already done the same thing before me, but no one had a knowledge ...
12
votes
3answers
1k views

How to help a friend who has faced several personal, related problems in a short timespan

For what it's worth, this friend (I'll call him Jon) has Asperger's. The problems Lately, Jon's life has been a rollercoaster of emotions. It all started when his mom (I'll call her Jane), after ...
38
votes
6answers
12k views

Rebuffing a former friend's (now a convicted criminal) attempts to restore friendship

I used to have a friend who I would fairly regularly see - usually for lunch. A few details about this individual: Very quiet and shy Is a high-functioning autistic individual Socially awkward We ...
24
votes
5answers
4k views

How do I tactfully ask a flight attendant what's going on if I know my plane has a problem?

I think it's worth explaining that I fall on the autism spectrum, so certain answers that may seem extremely obvious to others are not at all obvious to me. So I was on a flight recently (let's say, ...
43
votes
10answers
15k views

Boyfriend always responds “I didn't mean to” when he gets feedback [closed]

My boyfriend (been together 4 years) will always respond with "I didn't mean to!", when someone points out to him he did something wrong. It always sounds slightly accusatory when he says it, like he ...
19
votes
4answers
7k views

How do I tell my friend that his behaviour is odd?

Recently I've been reconnecting with an old friend from university and we've met up a few times in public locations for coffee etc. We've been getting along really well but I've noticed one aspect of ...
70
votes
12answers
14k views

How do I tell a potential partner about my autism?

Background I recently met a woman on a dating app and we hit it off. Last night we went on our first date, which went very well and we are planning to go out again. I am interested in potentially ...
6
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I help my father understand our dog's needs?

Our family dog is a very cheerful border collie. She's great with people, kids too, but not with other dogs. She is scared of them. We got her when she was a year old and she never learned to walk on ...
4
votes
0answers
585 views

How can I try and make people want to do things with me and talk to me? [closed]

If you don't know, this is sort of an extension to a question that I asked a while ago on this site. I really need some help because people don't start conversations with me and no one wants to do ...
42
votes
16answers
13k views

Is it socially acceptable to dismiss a compliment?

Sometimes I get compliments like: "good job on making that website" or that I look nice or something. I often say that much more people look better or I could have done the site better, or even saying ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I properly apologize to a good friend and let them know that I did not actually want them to move to another city?

I have a very good friend, let's call him Rick, who I have been acquainted with for the past 5 years. Our relationship was strong enough that he often told me that he was my best friend, and I often ...
53
votes
7answers
14k views

How do I tell my close-ones that I don't appreciate it when they say I look like a bird?

While I ultimately believe that my family and friends love me and would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, there is a certain culture among my immediate and extended family members and my ...
25
votes
9answers
10k views

How can I talk to my Partner about what she would rather do?

I feel like I can't correctly ascertain what my significant other would rather do. We have had a rocky relationship as she is rather introverted, while I'm more needy, and while we talked and ...
15
votes
5answers
2k views

Do I need to force myself into social interactions [closed]

I am 18 year old male, and I have PDDNOS (a form of autism). I don't feel comfortable with most social interactions around strangers. I am struggling with the choice of forcing myself in social ...
4
votes
1answer
437 views

Late understanding [closed]

I believe I have mild Asperger's. (I suspected that could be the case and I took the online test and according to the test result I most probably have) And I believe because of this I am having some ...
6
votes
3answers
601 views

How do I explain my social difficulties as not deliberate attempts to annoy people

I am on the Autism Spectrum, and have difficulty in interpreting people's reactions. An unintended side effect is that the trademark literalism makes me come across as a bit of a smart-a$$ when I don'...
17
votes
8answers
4k views

How to convey “special needs” in a positive way for a job interview?

I'm job hunting again because, in my current job, things went horribly. People were not being aware of my Aspergers or of its impact and so I was on a team that simply was unhealthy for me. I'm ...
19
votes
9answers
4k views

How to make sure I understood a work assignment correctly?

Due to my conditions as Aspie, I noticed quite a few times, in working environments, that I have a big communication barrier when it comes to task assignments. Most of the time, I have to work on a ...
9
votes
4answers
3k views

Why do people flirt in customer service situations? [closed]

I ran into this twice today with two different customers and it's a little strange to me. I almost thought it was just me being aspie and misreading the situation when it happened yesterday, but after ...
31
votes
6answers
8k views

How to open up to someone about loving them, when you don't know if they love you back?

I feel attracted to someone. I did have a relationship with her before (we were little children at that time, 5-7 years old), but we couldn't continue because of age and distance. We are both ...
8
votes
1answer
3k views

Guy I met very briefly won't stop messaging me

As the title says, there's a guy I met for five minutes several months ago who won't stop messaging me on Facebook. We're both (straight) guys, so it's not romantic, he just seems to want to shoot the ...
18
votes
4answers
4k views

How to have a talk with a coworker I'm scared of?

First off: I tagged this as Asperger since having Asperger's makes me have trouble understanding others' motivations, thoughts, and interests, as long as they differ from mine. That means, to ...
77
votes
8answers
21k views

Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence

Background I have a group of friends, and we've known each other for about 7 years now. We once all were colleagues. One of these friends, Alice, has an autism spectrum disorder. This friend got ...
8
votes
5answers
1k views

Why do (half-)strangers say “I'm sure you'll love it” when they don't know my interests?

Sometimes a complete stranger, or someone I've only known very recently, will recommend something to me, saying: I'm sure you'll love it! Why would they say that? They can hope, and perhaps expect ...
13
votes
4answers
1k views

When is it appropriate and when is it inappropriate for a neurotypical (NT) to refer to a person with Asperger's as an Aspie? [closed]

People with Asperger's on this site refer to themselves as Aspies. Is this a term that should be used only by people with Asperger's? Or can neurotypicals (NTs, a term I learned only a few days ago) ...
21
votes
2answers
2k views

How to reduce the risk of people interpret me implying things, when I never intended to?

I have Asperger's Syndrome. I'm an aspie. I am naturally inclined to say things literally and take things literally, but I have learned most neurotypicals communicate differently, and as a minority, ...
19
votes
10answers
10k views

How do I tell or convince a friend that he should do an autism test?

I know a person "Bob" and his family very well. He had problems in his apprenticeship. I know another person that has the Asperger Syndrome and my friend Bob shows a lot of similarities. I don't want ...
20
votes
8answers
4k views

Message being seen but not responded, what is the correct response?

I will sometimes ask a friend how their day was or another question via chat message. Sometimes the message will be marked as read but then they don't respond for a few day or even longer (6 months). ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How to arrange neurodivergent vs. neurotypical social needs? [closed]

Around 8 months ago I met a friend who has a very similar perception as I have in regards to having autism and Asperger's. Since this friend was multiple years ahead therapy-wise, I learned a lot from ...
23
votes
4answers
3k views

How can I ask an autistic volunteer at camp to be more independent?

I work at a camp run by the nature center in a large local nature reservation. Each camp is for three hours, either in the morning or afternoon. Optimally, there is a naturalist leading the camp, an ...