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Questions tagged [autism-spectrum]

For questions relating to or asked by people on the autism spectrum.

0
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0answers
129 views

How to overcome Trauma and Xenophobia [on hold]

For the last 2 years, I have been working on overcoming my past Trauma. My Diagnoses are: PTSD (not from war, from emotional abuse), Depression, anxiety and a hint of ADHD. I am also a "little aspy". ...
4
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2answers
325 views

Asking my sibling to not tease me about a specific subject

This weekend, I was with my sister (we are both around 25 years old and I'm the youngest). The first day, she learned something about me and started teasing me about it. The second day, we were ...
4
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2answers
327 views

How to invite my colleagues to an at-home goodbye party when they usually organize them in a bar?

I'll leave for a new job in a month. When some of my colleagues left the team for another one (but still remained in the company, which means we hang out around coffee regularly, it's not like they ...
2
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1answer
485 views

How to deal with 'It sucks, just deal with it' when asking for support

Oftentimes when I don't know how to deal with a situation, I'd like to talk to someone about how I feel about it. In this case, I am fishing for one of several things: Advice on how to approach the ...
18
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4answers
1k views

Why do people expect me to feel exactly the same as they do?

Background My fiancee and I recently had a small argument over the following text exchange F: I wish I could have seen you tonight. Me: I would have liked to see you tonight too. F: I ...
8
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1answer
545 views

How can I apologize to coworker while avoiding another lecture?

My colleague Tom has been making me feel bad over a computer game. He's been insulting me and my ability to play this game, both during the game and at work. More info at my previous question: ...
5
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2answers
489 views

How can I be assertive without being labeled as difficult?

A quick clarification: I've included the examples to illustrate situations in which I am having trouble being assertive. I am not looking for solutions to these two specific situations. I am more ...
8
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3answers
880 views

Telling my boss that I have tiredness issues

I'm a junior IT engineer who was recently hired by a company. I'm from France and my probation isn't over yet (two to four months left to go). I'm also on the autism spectrum (the people at my work ...
11
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3answers
661 views

How to improve relationship with a co-worker who does not speak to me?

A little history: I was hired onto this team a few years ago. The subteam I'm on has several people: the project lead (Jim), the co-worker I'm asking about (let's call her Mary), and others including ...
6
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5answers
2k views

“But you don't look autistic” isn't a nice thing to say

"But you don't look autistic" (meaning: "you don't behave like an autistic person") is a sentence that a lot of neurotypical people (NT) say to people on the autistic spectrum (usually just after the ...
2
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0answers
185 views

Taking space and engaging in casual group conversations [closed]

I often have difficulties taking space in casual group conversations, like when I go to the pub after work with a couple of friends or similar, even though I'm completely comfortable with the company. ...
14
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6answers
1k views

What is an alternative to brutal honesty that doesn't involve lying?

I have been criticised on more than one occasion by friends and romantic partners for being "too honest". An example of this might be someone asking me if a dress looks good, and I will say if I think ...
9
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3answers
806 views

Explaining to my boss that I didn't attend a company social event due to tiredness issues

TL;DR: I didn't participate in the Christmas work meal, how to say that it was because I have tiredness issues without sounding like a bad recruit? I'm newly hired in a company and I'm still on ...
7
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2answers
549 views

How to acknowledge an apology without saying thanks

Someone has recognised that their behaviour toward me was unacceptable. What can I say that acknowledge the have apologised without thanking them for it? I'm stuck with : "Thanks, I appreciate ...
10
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3answers
631 views

How do I use body language to indicate that I am thinking?

My Problem When people give me large amounts of information, I will take plenty of time to process it before giving a response. The amount of time I take usually ranges from 30 seconds to a few ...
15
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2answers
968 views

What non-verbal communication can I use to ask if someone want physical comfort?

Sometimes, someone will talk to you about a very emotional and/or difficult topic. In this scenario, you are supposed to give comfort to the person with whom you are talking. As someone on the ...
8
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4answers
872 views

How do I tell my aunt that I need some time off?

Background I'm someone that isn't really social and social gatherings tend to be very tiring for me (this is at least partially due to the fact that I'm on the autism spectrum). I have noticed that ...
8
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3answers
1k views

Could expressed attraction be an absolute prevention of someone feeling attraction to me?

For as long as I can remember having first experienced love I've had trouble finding a partner and building a strong relationship. More so, the only relationships I found, followed the pattern, that ...
5
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3answers
530 views

Going to live in someone else's house--how to ask for rules?

Background I have found a new job in another city. While I'm looking for an apartment I will be living in my cousin's house. I have never lived in her house before (and I have been at her house for ...
18
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7answers
11k views

How do you tell a Facebook friend that they might be on the autism spectrum?

TL;DR How do I tell this Facebook friend that they might be on the autism spectrum without being too intrusive? Background I have this Facebook friend that I care deeply about and with whom I ...
6
votes
3answers
755 views

How to get a friend with Asperger's to engage in more of a mutual conversation

So I've known this girl as a stranger for years and this past week we actually interacted and chatted for an hour. She told me a lot about herself, and expressed interest in hanging out the next time ...
2
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1answer
792 views

How do I interpret this situation my crush has given me? [closed]

Please reword if necessary My crush (same one as in one of my other questions) is now a good friend of mine. She certainly does like me as a friend, and I want to remain as her friend but I also have ...
9
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5answers
1k views

How do I ask others to more quickly let me know about social mistakes I make?

I recently suffered a bit of a fallout in a teaching group I'm frequently a participant in. This was because I kept making brutally honest criticisms about their style of teaching (e.g. "your teaching ...
21
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4answers
3k views

I am very close to breaking up with my girlfriend for selfish reasons; how do I talk to her about our relationship?

I started dating this girl just over a year ago. We first met 7 years ago at college; we were only acquaintances back then. Fast forward a few years, we recognized each other at a work party and ...
34
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14answers
8k views

How to encourage a child with autism to practice reading?

I'm asking on behalf of friends of mine who have a daughter who is diagnosed with "high functioning" autism. Let's call her Jane. Jane went to a regular primary school but couldn't learn in this ...
49
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4answers
8k views

How can I politely reject someone's advances?

I am a high functioning autistic woman and I recently went to a meet up for other autistic people and met a guy. I let him add me on facebook and we talked a little bit and he tried to ask me out ...
28
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4answers
2k views

How to address fallout from my meltdowns and to avoid ruining social relationships

The problem While I am a very high functioning autistic and can act "normal" most of the time. Most people don't know I have autism, esp at work or other controlled situations so it's not a problem ...
104
votes
10answers
58k views

How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?

I have a friend (a woman), who I met around 8 months ago. Since then, she has become my best friend and we are extremely close. Understandably, my wife is envious of the relationship and even ...
15
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4answers
2k views

How do I explain to extended family/acquaintances that my husband has high-functioning Autism, and has particular habits?

So, I have been married since March 2018 to my loving husband. All through our relationship, I have known that he has mild aspergers, combined with being very introverted and deaf (I am deaf as well) ...
109
votes
15answers
22k views

How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?

I live with my parents. My father likes to challenge nearly everything I say, up to the point of ridiculousness. I can prove many of the things he challenges but not immediately. In most cases his ...
11
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2answers
2k views

How to confess severe mistakes to family?

I committed a grave error four years ago, I cannot exactly tell what is about, but is something that I must never do. My sister had already done the same thing before me, but no one had a knowledge ...
13
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3answers
1k views

How to help a friend who has faced several personal, related problems in a short timespan

For what it's worth, this friend (I'll call him Jon) has Asperger's. The problems Lately, Jon's life has been a rollercoaster of emotions. It all started when his mom (I'll call her Jane), after ...
19
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2answers
2k views

How can I encourage discussion of sensitive topics with my girlfriend?

Background I have been dating my girlfriend for about three months. We are both in our mid 20s, grew up in the mid-western United States, and now live in New York City. She has defined boundaries for ...
38
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6answers
12k views

Rebuffing a former friend's (now a convicted criminal) attempts to restore friendship

I used to have a friend who I would fairly regularly see - usually for lunch. A few details about this individual: Very quiet and shy Is a high-functioning autistic individual Socially awkward We ...
24
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5answers
4k views

How do I tactfully ask a flight attendant what's going on if I know my plane has a problem?

I think it's worth explaining that I fall on the autism spectrum, so certain answers that may seem extremely obvious to others are not at all obvious to me. So I was on a flight recently (let's say, ...
43
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10answers
15k views

Boyfriend always responds “I didn't mean to” when he gets feedback [closed]

My boyfriend (been together 4 years) will always respond with "I didn't mean to!", when someone points out to him he did something wrong. It always sounds slightly accusatory when he says it, like he ...
19
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4answers
7k views

How do I tell my friend that his behaviour is odd?

Recently I've been reconnecting with an old friend from university and we've met up a few times in public locations for coffee etc. We've been getting along really well but I've noticed one aspect of ...
71
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12answers
16k views

How do I tell a potential partner about my autism?

Background I recently met a woman on a dating app and we hit it off. Last night we went on our first date, which went very well and we are planning to go out again. I am interested in potentially ...
9
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2answers
2k views

How can I help my father understand our dog's needs?

Our family dog is a very cheerful border collie. She's great with people, kids too, but not with other dogs. She is scared of them. We got her when she was a year old and she never learned to walk on ...
4
votes
0answers
595 views

How can I try and make people want to do things with me and talk to me? [closed]

If you don't know, this is sort of an extension to a question that I asked a while ago on this site. I really need some help because people don't start conversations with me and no one wants to do ...
44
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16answers
13k views

Is it socially acceptable to dismiss a compliment?

Sometimes I get compliments like: "good job on making that website" or that I look nice or something. I often say that much more people look better or I could have done the site better, or even saying ...
4
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2answers
1k views

How do I properly apologize to a good friend and let them know that I did not actually want them to move to another city?

I have a very good friend, let's call him Rick, who I have been acquainted with for the past 5 years. Our relationship was strong enough that he often told me that he was my best friend, and I often ...
55
votes
7answers
14k views

How do I tell my close-ones that I don't appreciate it when they say I look like a bird?

While I ultimately believe that my family and friends love me and would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, there is a certain culture among my immediate and extended family members and my ...
26
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9answers
10k views

How can I talk to my Partner about what she would rather do?

I feel like I can't correctly ascertain what my significant other would rather do. We have had a rocky relationship as she is rather introverted, while I'm more needy, and while we talked and ...
15
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5answers
2k views

Do I need to force myself into social interactions [closed]

I am 18 year old male, and I have PDDNOS (a form of autism). I don't feel comfortable with most social interactions around strangers. I am struggling with the choice of forcing myself in social ...
7
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3answers
630 views

How do I explain my social difficulties as not deliberate attempts to annoy people

I am on the Autism Spectrum, and have difficulty in interpreting people's reactions. An unintended side effect is that the trademark literalism makes me come across as a bit of a smart-a$$ when I don'...
18
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8answers
4k views

How to convey “special needs” in a positive way for a job interview?

I'm job hunting again because, in my current job, things went horribly. People were not being aware of my Aspergers or of its impact and so I was on a team that simply was unhealthy for me. I'm ...
20
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9answers
4k views

How to make sure I understood a work assignment correctly?

Due to my conditions as Aspie, I noticed quite a few times, in working environments, that I have a big communication barrier when it comes to task assignments. Most of the time, I have to work on a ...
9
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4answers
3k views

Why do people flirt in customer service situations? [closed]

I ran into this twice today with two different customers and it's a little strange to me. I almost thought it was just me being aspie and misreading the situation when it happened yesterday, but after ...
31
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6answers
8k views

How to open up to someone about loving them, when you don't know if they love you back?

I feel attracted to someone. I did have a relationship with her before (we were little children at that time, 5-7 years old), but we couldn't continue because of age and distance. We are both ...