Questions tagged [autism-spectrum]
For questions relating to or asked by people on the autism spectrum (this includes what was previously known as "Asperger", as well as "high functioning" and "low functioning" autism).
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How do I help my wife to see her potential?
My wife comes from a background of a controlling, abusive mother who always told her that she was incapable, and then a controlling, abusive (now former) husband who always told her that she was ...
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How can I adjust my communication style while communicating to NTs so that what I am trying to convey comes across clearly?
As an autistic person, I have noticed that when I speak directly, in a flat voice; often this can be perceived as threatening or trying to challenge the status quo - when I'm simply asking for the ...
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How can I do mirroring online, similar to my mirroring in person?
TLDR: I'd like to be able to use mirroring online, similar to how I do this in person, and change my communication style online so that it will be more well-received by people, and be more similar to ...
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1
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Do emojis help autists recognize feelings?
Lately read an article about emojis and how inferior they are supposed to be in comparison to facial expression and tone of voice. (The article is in German, probably paywalled, and not really ...
A J♦
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How to handle a person joining a conversation by asking a question you just answered?
I ran into this issue multiple times and I don't know how to act. For context: communicating in groups does not come naturally to me, so I often rely on skills I learned over time and not everyone may ...
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Why is it considered bad form to break up with someone over written text?
I am autistic and, when I was a teenager (10 years ago), I had always heard that it was "rude" to break up with someone over text. However, I never understood why.
What's wrong with ...
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How do I tell a potential partner about my autism?
Background
I recently met a woman on a dating app and we hit it off. Last night we went on our first date, which went very well and we are planning to go out again. I am interested in potentially ...
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How to open up to someone about loving them, when you don't know if they love you back?
I feel attracted to someone. I did have a relationship with her before (we were little children at that time, 5-7 years old), but we couldn't continue because of age and distance.
We are both ...
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How do I get to the point of asking questions and getting answers?
No matter what I say or do, I am truly just always asking questions about what I do not understand to people who are capable of helping me understand what I need to know about that topic, and no one ...
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Why do (half-)strangers say "I'm sure you'll love it" when they don't know my interests?
Sometimes a complete stranger, or someone I've only known very recently, will recommend something to me, saying: I'm sure you'll love it!
Why would they say that? They can hope, and perhaps expect ...
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How can I help my autistic son with unrealistic life ambitions
My son is in his early 20’s and is on the autistic spectrum.
He has seen his older sibling and cousins go to university, learn how to drive and move out of home to live with their partners. He now ...
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Showing a homeless person that you care about their well-being
Every day, when I go to work, I pass by a homeless person. At first, I just waved hello to them, but now I shake hands with them and, when doing that, they will start asking me questions (like "how ...
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How can I get my mom to compromise and not use her total authority?
I am a 19-year-old autistic male that currently works as a Software Engineering apprentice. I live in a small village in the middle of Bavaria.
Even though I got officially diagnosed - secretly - as I ...
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How, as in "what way", am I expected to go about using a dating app correctly?
A bit of a weird question, I know, but I feel I need this spelled out.
When a person sits down and logs onto an app like Tinder, what exactly, more or less step by step, does Tinder expect them to do? ...
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I am very close to breaking up with my girlfriend for selfish reasons; how do I talk to her about our relationship?
I started dating this girl just over a year ago. We first met 7 years ago at college; we were only acquaintances back then. Fast forward a few years, we recognized each other at a work party and ...
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How to help a friend who has faced several personal, related problems in a short timespan
For what it's worth, this friend (I'll call him Jon) has Asperger's.
The problems
Lately, Jon's life has been a rollercoaster of emotions. It all started when his mom (I'll call her Jane), after ...
CommunityBot
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15
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How to encourage a child with autism to practice reading?
I'm asking on behalf of friends of mine who have a daughter who is diagnosed with "high functioning" autism. Let's call her Jane.
Jane went to a regular primary school but couldn't learn in this ...
CommunityBot
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8
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Active listening in casual conversation: why does it not work?
I’m on the spectrum. Language doesn’t always come as naturally to me as to others. I often have a need to confirm I understand the conversation partner, for which I use active listening techniques ...
CommunityBot
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"But you don't look autistic" isn't a nice thing to say
"But you don't look autistic" (meaning: "you don't behave like an autistic person") is a sentence that a lot of neurotypical people (NT) say to people on the autistic spectrum (...
CommunityBot
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How to tell someone that I'm on the autism spectrum while mitigating the risk of not been believed?
I'm on the autism spectrum. My manager knows about that but my coworkers don't.
I have been working here for a little more than a year and not telling my coworkers that I'm on the spectrum is really ...
CommunityBot
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My autistic roommate requests plenty of hugs, but they make me uncomfortable. How do I approach this?
I have an autistic roommate - and he is incredibly smart and a genuinely good guy. However, he frequently asks me for hugs and it makes me uncomfortable, unfortunately. His hugs are very long and ...
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How could I have better handled telling this minority woman I liked her cultural hairstyle?
Background
This happened in Netherlands. I have some mixed ancestry. I mostly look like a Dutch person, except for my curly bush of hair and my olive skin. In school I got bullied a lot because of my ...
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How can I communicate to my mother that her complaints about me make me feel like I'm not enough?
(and never will be)
I'm on the autism spectrum and often feel overwhelmingly fatigued and tired. My mother, on the other hand, has a lot of energy and is always doing a million things.
From time to ...
CommunityBot
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Asking to be made aware of a surprise because of anxiety issues
I'm on the autism spectrum and I have anxiety issues. Doing unknown things in an unknown place terrifies me.
From time to time (~twice a year) my workplace would organize a "team-building" ...
CommunityBot
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3
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How to explain that some of my difficulties won't improve with my effort or by their teasing?
update: this question is about not pushing me harder for indirect hints. it's not exactly on sensory issue
I'm on the autism spectrum.
In a particular classroom, a gang of people started to get ...
CommunityBot
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52
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11
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How can women avoid talking during dates while keeping men at ease?
I am a 30 year old American woman. A few years ago, I read online that men and women communicate differently, specifically that men do not like to talk face to face and women like to talk face to face....
CommunityBot
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How can I more clearly ask people to accommodate for my autism?
I've got autism. This isn't always clear to people*. Sometimes I need accommodations for a sensory issue to participate in a normal way.
One time, there was a colleague with a strong aftershave, for ...
CommunityBot
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114
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10
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How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?
I have a friend (a woman), who I met around 8 months ago. Since then, she has become my best friend and we are extremely close. Understandably, my wife is envious of the relationship and even ...
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How to ask my manager for a part-time?
I'm currently working as a full-time QA engineer. I have been working here for a little less than a year. I'm on the autism spectrum with tiredness issues and working full time is just too much for me....
CommunityBot
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5
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Why do people expect me to feel exactly the same as they do?
Background
My fiancee and I recently had a small argument over the following text exchange
F: I wish I could have seen you tonight.
Me: I would have liked to see you tonight too.
F: I always want to ...
CommunityBot
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1
answer
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What is the proper way to disclose ASD so that people do not tell "You don't look autistic"? [closed]
Related to this but when on a due circumstance autism diagnosis requires to be disclosed. Such as workplace bullying or public transport or an abusive work environment or to claim a government ...
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Message being seen but not responded, what is the correct response?
I will sometimes ask a friend how their day was or another question via chat message. Sometimes the message will be marked as read but then they don't respond for a few day or even longer (6 months). ...
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How can I talk with these people that I owe money to solve the situation?
Background
First, about me. I've got Asperger's and (social) anxiety. I started my first job after college a bit over a year ago and moved into a nice apartment with a fully furnished kitchen and ...
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1
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How to communicate to my spouse I can't stand unexpected touch without hurting their feelings?
TL;DR
I've recently learned about my autism and still need to understand what it means. I have struggle being touched when I don't expect it and it hurts my spouse when I already tried to explain to ...
CommunityBot
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2
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Asking my sibling to not tease me about a specific subject
This weekend, I was with my sister (we are both around 25 years old and I'm the youngest). The first day, she learned something about me and started teasing me about it.
The second day, we were ...
CommunityBot
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4
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How do I explain to extended family/acquaintances that my husband has high-functioning Autism, and has particular habits?
So, I have been married since March 2018 to my loving husband. All through our relationship, I have known that he has mild aspergers, combined with being very introverted and deaf (I am deaf as well) ...
- 9,042
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2
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How to invite my colleagues to an at-home goodbye party when they usually organize them in a bar?
I'll leave for a new job in a month. When some of my colleagues left the team for another one (but still remained in the company, which means we hang out around coffee regularly, it's not like they ...
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How can I encourage discussion of sensitive topics with my girlfriend?
Background
I have been dating my girlfriend for about three months. We are both in our mid 20s, grew up in the mid-western United States, and now live in New York City. She has defined boundaries for ...
- 9,042
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1
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How to deal with 'It sucks, just deal with it' when asking for support
Oftentimes when I don't know how to deal with a situation, I'd like to talk to someone about how I feel about it. In this case, I am fishing for one of several things:
Advice on how to approach the ...
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How to confess severe mistakes to family?
I committed a grave error four years ago, I cannot exactly tell what is about, but is something that I must never do. My sister had already done the same thing before me, but no one had a knowledge ...
CommunityBot
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What non-verbal communication can I use to ask if someone want physical comfort?
Sometimes, someone will talk to you about a very emotional and/or difficult topic. In this scenario, you are supposed to give comfort to the person with whom you are talking.
As someone on the ...
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How to address fallout from my meltdowns and to avoid ruining social relationships
The problem
While I am a very high functioning autistic and can act "normal" most of the time. Most people don't know I have autism, esp at work or other controlled situations so it's not a problem ...
- 1,790
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How can I apologize to coworker while avoiding another lecture?
My colleague Tom has been making me feel bad over a computer game. He's been insulting me and my ability to play this game, both during the game and at work. More info at my previous question: ...
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Talking to the parents of an adult autistic student
I have an adult, autistic student who I have tutored weekly in programming since about November. His parents would like this tutoring to result in him being able to work as an entry-level programmer, ...
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How can I be assertive without being labeled as difficult?
A quick clarification:
I've included the examples to illustrate situations in which I am having trouble being assertive. I am not looking for solutions to these two specific situations. I am more ...
CommunityBot
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Telling my boss that I have tiredness issues
I'm a junior IT engineer who was recently hired by a company. I'm from France and my probation isn't over yet (two to four months left to go). I'm also on the autism spectrum (the people at my work ...
CommunityBot
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3
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Explaining to my boss that I didn't attend a company social event due to tiredness issues
TL;DR: I didn't participate in the Christmas work meal, how to say that it was because I have tiredness issues without sounding like a bad recruit?
I'm newly hired in a company and I'm still on ...
CommunityBot
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3
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How to improve relationship with a co-worker who does not speak to me?
A little history:
I was hired onto this team a few years ago. The subteam I'm on has several people: the project lead (Jim), the co-worker I'm asking about (let's call her Mary), and others including ...
CommunityBot
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6
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What is an alternative to brutal honesty that doesn't involve lying?
I have been criticised on more than one occasion by friends and romantic partners for being "too honest". An example of this might be someone asking me if a dress looks good, and I will say if I think ...
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0
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Taking space and engaging in casual group conversations [closed]
I often have difficulties taking space in casual group conversations, like when I go to the pub after work with a couple of friends or similar, even though I'm completely comfortable with the company.
...
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