Questions tagged [boundaries]
This tag should be used when boundaries (either yours or someone else's) play a major role in the situation at hand. This could involve questions about how to respect other people's boundaries, how to handle overstepping someone's boundaries, establishing your own boundaries, or handling someone who has overstepped your boundaries.
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How can I tell my father I don't want to do anything with his new family? [closed]
Around November last year, my dad introduced me to his new girlfriend (23) who is younger than me (28), after meeting her I told my dad that I would appreciate him not bringing her along when I visit ...
- 19
2
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1
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395
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How to approach a friend who is vague when trying to plan a meet up?
I have a friend and we talk frequently on WhatsApp. We have just got back in touch after a few years of losing touch. I remembered her to be quite unreliable but I have considered that after a few ...
- 21
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233
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Putting pressure to get pending money from a client
An old client of mine says A owes me X amount. He is delaying payment for the past 3 weeks. One week he said - "His account is in an inactive state", and next week "He is in debt, he is ...
- 111
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How can I enforce boundaries with a clingy younger woman without hurting her
Background
Six months ago two sisters started to attend an association I am volunteering at. I developed a huge crush on the older sister, so I tried to approach her, but without success. Unexpectedly ...
- 21
2
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1
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291
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How to handle someone who repeatedly returns to previously-discussed points in conversations?
I was recently asked (by a family member) about an personal event I was planning. During the conversation, the person I was talking to kept pressing me for details on every conceivable aspect of the ...
3
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1
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441
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How do I ask my friend to stop doing inappropriate things to me?
I have a friend, A, in my group that is very annoying (physically). They act the same with other friends in our group, but they are okay with that. I seem to be the only one with an issue. Problem is, ...
- 31
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2
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How do I find out if this girl has a crush on me, without asking her directly?
I am working in an IT company as project manager. I have met this girl who is a software engineer in a different team. We have known each other for one year now.
She likes to talk to me. She calls me ...
- 23
4
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5
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How to invite someone over but not for too long
On behalf of a friend, sometimes she wants to invite people over but many members of her extended family don’t know when to leave, even when given big clues (not as harsh as ‘close the door when you ...
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How to better react/respond to a friend who rejects your advice but still keeps asking for your help?
I find that it’s particularly hard for me to help someone when they want my help but I disagree on what’s helpful? Especially when I’m seen as an expert.
Instance: Friend for years messages me,
By ...
- 113
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Is another person's private object within your own personal boundary?
My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months.
Early one morning, after a conversation we'd had the previous night, she calls me to ask me if I own a very private object. Not wanting to lie, I ...
- 91
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2
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704
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How to stop divulging information that I don't want to share?
My cousin asks me things that I don't want to share, yet I share details with her because I don't know a polite way to tell her that I don't want to share.
From time to time, she asks me about my ...
- 655
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1
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476
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How to deal with my grandma and aunt's hurtful behavior towards my family? [closed]
I am an unmarried 22 year old girl in college. I have a mother, father and brother who is also doing his masters in college. We live in India and all stay together in a flat. I'm the youngest in my ...
- 31
5
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1
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592
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How to get my younger brother to respect my boundaries
A year ago I finished my education and moved back in with my parents. My brother is 14, 10 years younger than me.
He annoys me quite a bit and I'm having difficulties dealing with him and don't know ...
- 53
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771
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Roommate started new job and using Skype a lot in common areas
A few months ago I moved into a new home. I share it with 2 other people. One of my roommates started a new job recently. She worked in the office the first week but told me she prefers to work from ...
- 83
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3
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586
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How should I continue working with this client without engaging much personal or mindless chit chat?
I have this client that really likes to have some personal conversation during our 'work' calls ( I work as a freelancer). I've obliged and shared some personal thoughts/talks as well to appear polite....
- 29
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Out of the blue, my friend was very rude to me in public. How can I tell him I need an apology or explanation if we are to be friends again?
I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. We went to a couple pubs downtown. From the amount I saw him drink, I don't think he was drunk, though I guess I could be wrong. It seemed he tried to ...
- 51
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How can I tell my GF that her romantic gestures are a distraction and her attention she requires from me is more than I can give her?
My GF and I are in our 30s have known each other for about a year now and ever since the pandemic started, she stays with me most of the time and the rest she stays with her parents. Due to the ...
- 477
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2
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How do I stop my mother from interrupting me every 5 minutes?
I'm exasperated by the behaviour of my mother and I don't know how to make her stop, please propose some solution... I'm a 21 year old student far from home most of the year, and I'm currently in my ...
- 268
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Landlord was knocking on my door close to midnight regarding a (minor) complaint (that I had nothing to do with)
I recently moved into a new home. I share the place with 2 other roommates. Last night close to midnight the landlord came over banging on my bedroom door. I was about to fall asleep. It turned out ...
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How can I respectfully ask my landlady to use English when in my home?
When our landlady comes into our place she always brings a relative. She visits with repair people, or most often it's a family member doing repairs. When they talk to us, they use fluent English. ...
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4
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How to gently turn down digital small-talk and prevent any new attempts at having it?
The corona virus has everybody working from home. And it seems all of management is recommending to 'stay in contact', to talk with each other digitally. Which may be fun, when it's actually planned ...
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How to explain to friends that I can do the technical part of making a website, but they have to come up with the content?
Where I live the economy isn't great for people trying to get into the tech industry, and that was before COVID-19. I would be happy to make websites for free for my friends. This would give me ...
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How do I discuss boundaries and moving out with my son?
I am a mother, I need to talk with my son, let's call him Jay, about moving out. He is 28 and has had severe depression over the years. He left college after the 1st year and has had several jobs. To ...
- 11
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7
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Dealing with unwanted "Joking" physical contact
This isn't really a sexual thing, just something that makes me uncomfortable.
So I hate having my hair up or braiding it or doing anything with it in general because I think it looks weird and it's ...
- 441
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4
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How to ask my mother to stop giving me unsolicited (health related) advices?
I have a lot of mental health issues and my mother tends to think that fixing my life is her duty. As such, she will often give me unsolicited health advice so that I could get "better".
She would ...
- 17.3k
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2
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705
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How to talk to someone who is interfering with my parenting?
I am an introvert and recently moved into a house where I live with my wife's brothers as their mom has recently died. The elder brother of my wife is very cocky and proud and yet does nothing. He is ...
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2
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2k
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Partner temporary moving in, how to enforce it's temporary?
I live alone and I just love it. I have a girlfriend (of 5 years) who I also love, and since the start of our relationship I've told her that "living together would not happen."
To make a long story ...
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How do you deal with someone who is nosy, projects their feelings about career, and gives unsolicited advice in that area?
A friend of a friend has on multiple occasions aggressively asked how my self-study for software engineering interviews is going. Most recently I answered very briefly, because I find it too nosy and ...
- 291
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Possible Girlfriend in the ICU [closed]
Long story ahead, you've been warned. Could really use sound advice here.
Some background first, I'm terrible at reading social cues, to the point when I was younger medicos told my parents I might ...
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5
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How can I tell a friend about a future trip without upsetting another friend, who wants me to hold the truth about it?
Soon, I'll be going on a trip for one weekend; "Friend B", who is planning this trip, wants to exclude "Friend A" who will likely ask me sometime during the trip what I'm up to.
"Friend B" reiterated ...
- 291
13
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How to handle my ex touching me against my wishes when he is visiting our daughter?
I left my daughter's father during the pregnancy because we were having many issues and things with him were not changing. It's been a year since I moved back to my mom's and left him, and my daughter ...
- 131
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Tactfully avoiding sharing food with a friend
Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective).
I have a friend, Alice, who I was very close with in college. We'd ...
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17
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4
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My best friend kissed me while I was half asleep. How can I bring this up and set boundaries, without making a big deal about it?
I am a 23-year-old woman and have been going through depression due to several life situations. I have a guy best friend (engaged) whom I am very close to. He has been acting as my support system to ...
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4
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How to tell my mother not to visit?
I left my mother's home to live on my own 8,5 years ago. Since then, no one in my family has visited me once. Some years ago, my mother even dismissed my idea to visit me when I suggested to do so, I ...
- 3,125
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2
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878
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How do I keep in touch with a friend without spending long amounts of time with him?
So I became friends with this guy in college about a year ago. He's not a very social person - I don't know any of his other friends, he doesn't share personal information easily, and is barely on ...
- 503
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How can I not agressively let my friend know I don't want to be hugged/touched? [duplicate]
I have a friend with whom I was very, very close in the past. We would hug often (as a greeting/goodbye, but those kinds of long hugs); we would be sitting together and it would happen that our legs/...
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3
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How to help my girlfriend be more expressive of herself and develop own identity
I have a girlfriend whom I love very much. She is very intelligent and has a warm, caring personality. However, one thing I noticed is that she is somewhat reluctant to have her own opinions on a lot ...
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6
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1
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623
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Helping my mom accept that I can't be available as much as she wants
My mom moved to the same city as my wife and I about 5 years ago. It's always been a bit rocky, but there is probably one theme that comes up the most regularly. To put it simply, her expectations ...
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2
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How to tell my ex not to expect sex
I'm a 25 year old man living in France. Last year I dated a 30 year old woman in the US, and kept things really casual (I knew she wanted to be more than dating but it was not reciprocal).
Now she is ...
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3
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How to decline physical affection from a child whose parents are pressuring them?
My Situation
I am an uncle to 6 nieces and nephews. I live about 1000 miles away from the rest of my family, so I only see them 2-3 times each year. When it comes time to say goodbye, it is common ...
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1
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How to approach boundary setting when family composition changes?
My wife's sister is very close to our family, and over the course of the last few years, it's become a common practice for her to do her laundry at our house. I don't generally mind this, my wife ...
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1
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How do you ask friends not to be so hard on you?
I was out with a group of friends listening to some music. A couple of them were grilling me and asking why I made decisions that I now regret. For example, I said I wish I had gone to a different ...
- 379
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1
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775
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How do I call out (tell him his behavior is unacceptable) a narcissistic father?
TL;DR: I want to communicate to my narcissistic father that it is unacceptable that he is attempting to blackmail my sister.
Refer to my past questions for more information regarding my father and ...
- 3,575
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1
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438
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Convey the wish of being grandparent while acknowledging your children views [closed]
There are multiple questions about expressing to family/friends that you don't or might not want children.
I personally feel that my father's side of the family didn't do a great job about ...
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2
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1k
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Helping a child enforce boundaries with strangers
I have a four-year-old granddaughter with beautiful curly hair. I had put it in braids and was in the store with her, and an older man came up and flipped the braids, commenting on her hair. I just ...
- 574
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3
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How to politely decline an equipment rent request?
Recently, my acquaintance asked me to do him a favor. He wants to borrow my ski googles for a week-end (2 days).
I don't really want to lend them to him, because we are not close at all, furthermore ...
- 1,241
2
votes
2
answers
1k
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How do I set the boundaries I’m not ok with how someone is speaking to me? [closed]
I live in a shared household. I was speaking with someone, call him Bob, in the kitchen. I needed to speak with another roommate, call him Dylan, and asked Bob which room he lives in (Dylan moved in ...
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3
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How to find out, if it is ok to hug (opposite sex)?
I am male and I regularly hug my good male and good female friends. At the very least when saying Hello and Goodbye. I have the feeling that is not uncommon here in Germany.
Now, I have a a small ...
4
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1
answer
1k
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How can I ask to continue a friendship after we accidentally took it to a romantic level?
Backstory
I'm going through a difficult separation from my alcohol-abusing abusive wife and I've got custody of the children.
Through the Q&A forum I met a woman who is in a similar situation, ...
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6
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1
answer
624
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How do I get my friends to understand that I won't be social ALL the time and tolerate their scoff when I say 'I'm studying'
For a few months, I've been going out to wherever they've called. Spent money on food outside, had drinks with these folks. I have my exams coming up. Every time I get a text saying 'Hey, what's up! ...
- 215