Questions tagged [boundaries]
This tag should be used when boundaries (either yours or someone else's) play a major role in the situation at hand. This could involve questions about how to respect other people's boundaries, how to handle overstepping someone's boundaries, establishing your own boundaries, or handling someone who has overstepped your boundaries.
172
questions
143
votes
11
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How to tell girlfriend I don't want to meet without hurting her feelings?
My girlfriend and I have "fixed" days we see each other, because we normally don't have time on other days. Sometimes, it happens that her training gets cancelled and she has time that evening and ...
- 4,034
137
votes
17
answers
39k
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How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off?
Background:
I have a coworker - let's call her Anne - who believes that saving energy wherever possible is everyone's most important responsibility.
Anne has made that clear from the day that I joined ...
- 4,849
136
votes
7
answers
35k
views
Girlfriend's nosy mother keeps expressing that she'll show up unannounced
Some context: my girlfriend and I have been dating for a year, and we've decided to move in together now that she has graduated and found a job in her chosen career. We're both financially ...
- 1,213
129
votes
10
answers
30k
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I live in a desirable, world-famous vacation spot. How do I handle visiting friends and set healthy boundaries?
I currently live in a desirable locale which is a world-famous vacation spot. Suddenly, I have a lot of friends and they want to visit me.
I don't want to be rude but I have a few issues:
For them, ...
- 1,163
125
votes
12
answers
27k
views
How do I tell a co-worker that just because something is a hobby doesn't mean I want to do it for free?
I enjoy baking, and on a number of occasions have baked cakes or other desserts for people in the office to celebrate their birthday or a work-related milestone. I've done this of my own accord, ...
- 2,467
120
votes
15
answers
77k
views
Partner reading my phone messages [closed]
My girlfriend and I are 27-28 years of age. Recently I have caught her going through my phone when I am out of the room and read my text messages, e-mails, Facebook..., checking who I was interacting ...
- 1,210
99
votes
5
answers
22k
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How to talk to a one night stand about her potential breast lumps issues?
I'm Brazilian, 23, and I went on a date with a Tinder match yesterday afternoon. At some point things got more intense and as I was fondling her breasts I felt two big lumps on her left one.
We've ...
- 1,003
83
votes
14
answers
39k
views
How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?
We recently moved into a new neighborhood, as did our neighbor, Jane. I have two young girls (4 and 5), and Jane has a boy and girl (7 I think?). My kids love to play with them, and her kids seem to ...
- 915
83
votes
14
answers
36k
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How to enforce a "No Shoes" policy in my apartment?
I like to keep my apartment floor clean, as I enjoy walking around with bare feet after a shower without having to worry about them becoming dirty. As such, I don't like shoes beyond the doorway in my ...
- 15.2k
83
votes
10
answers
29k
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How do I gently reject an indecent proposal?
Background
People:
Bob, John and Alice are old acquaintances of mine. They are a little older than me, mid-to-late twenties. We are not close friends, but we get along together well and see each other ...
68
votes
10
answers
24k
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How can I know whether a female house guest is interested in more than a friendly visit?
We have met around 4 months ago, we both are from the same country and are on an internship abroad. She lives quite far from me (around 400 km). We have chatted a bit since we've met and our ...
- 1,241
68
votes
6
answers
37k
views
How to handle my girlfriend finding out about my second apartment? [closed]
I love my girlfriend but my need for alone time to focus on my interests exceeds most individuals. We moved in together about 18 months ago (she moved across the country with me when I had a job ...
- 2,039
66
votes
15
answers
133k
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How to let people know I don't appreciate being ignored in instant messaging?
When talking with people through instant messenger or texting, I find it rude when someone doesn't reply. The other day I had met up with someone I knew from school. He told me about a business idea ...
- 728
64
votes
7
answers
14k
views
Dealing with unwanted "Joking" physical contact
This isn't really a sexual thing, just something that makes me uncomfortable.
So I hate having my hair up or braiding it or doing anything with it in general because I think it looks weird and it's ...
- 441
61
votes
7
answers
24k
views
How to ask for a wish from a woman?
For context, I am a twenty-four-year-old man. Recently I made the acquaintance of a woman who is twelve years older than myself. I was instantly struck by her extreme beauty and made efforts to form a ...
user14251
60
votes
17
answers
24k
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Answer to: "Why aren't you with your boyfriend right now?"
I have a boyfriend, but still live with my parents and siblings. We've been dating for 8 months.
It seems that every time I have a spare moment with my significant other (SO) not present, someone's ...
- 693
59
votes
15
answers
43k
views
How to stop people from touching me without having to freak out at them
I have a problem that I haven't been able to find an amicable solution to so far. I really don't like being touched, to the point where if someone is touching me unexpectedly I get confusion rising to ...
- 10.7k
55
votes
12
answers
25k
views
How should my wife handle an engaged admirer and his fiancee?
My wife is currently attending university (final year) and, over the course of our 8 year relationship, she has inadvertently drawn the attention of a number of individuals who seek a relationship ...
- 661
52
votes
3
answers
10k
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How to decline physical affection from a child whose parents are pressuring them?
My Situation
I am an uncle to 6 nieces and nephews. I live about 1000 miles away from the rest of my family, so I only see them 2-3 times each year. When it comes time to say goodbye, it is common ...
- 9,052
45
votes
14
answers
14k
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How can I address a man talking inappropriately about women? [duplicate]
Source is this twitter thread: https://twitter.com/MalwareJake/status/976848126987374593
Excerpt:
She said that the guy who appeared to be the unofficial group leader started talking about one of ...
- 575
43
votes
14
answers
19k
views
How can I deny a request from the mother of my girlfriend to tag along on our road trip?
Background
My girlfriend and I are going on a holiday in her native country, about 800km from our current city.
We planned this holiday months ago and we planned to stay for 2 weeks.
Problem
Today ...
- 964
43
votes
5
answers
22k
views
How to handle my girlfriend's parents' attitude to asking her for money?
I'm asking this question on behalf of my girlfriend because she's asking me for help but I'm not sure on how to handle this situation.
A little bit of background:
My girlfriend's parents moved from ...
- 964
42
votes
6
answers
11k
views
How can I convince my parents to respect my privacy?
I am a 14-year-old Egyptian Muslim currently living with my parents.
When I try to keep my room's door closed, my parents are always like "Why close it?" and when I reply "I want some privacy" they ...
- 735
41
votes
17
answers
21k
views
How can I tell my boyfriend "I told you so" without sounding too full of myself?
What I'm about to describe is in relation to this
How can I tell a friend they need to help with what they promised because what they promised can't wait?
My boyfriend and I decided to help out ...
- 7,506
41
votes
6
answers
15k
views
Childhood friend wants to get a "best friends" tattoo but I do not think it is a good idea
Background
I have a friend, we'll call her A, who I have known for nearly 20 years now. We are both in our early 20s now. Due to transitions we have both experienced over the last several years, other ...
- 4,236
40
votes
7
answers
10k
views
How to deal with an annoying front passenger?
Background
Don't be surprised at the use of the plural here. I'm talking about two different people displaying the same behaviour and sharing other characteristics. However, each time only one of them ...
40
votes
4
answers
8k
views
How can I tell my husband I need time for myself without work?
I studied Computer Science and now work full-time as a developer. When I come home from work, I want to spend some time with my husband and the kid until bed time, and then play video games or crochet ...
- 1,072
39
votes
9
answers
20k
views
How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"?
I moved into a shared home with roommates. The landlady and her husband are two of the roommates. I've been having issues with storage space. Today she was cleaning up and she was about to throw out (...
- 888
39
votes
4
answers
37k
views
How can I get my friend to stop calling me every day? [duplicate]
I have a close friend who I have been very supportive of each-other and it's been a relatively decent friendship but lately it's gotten out of hand.
My friend calls me 3 to 4 times a day and texts me ...
- 351
39
votes
5
answers
18k
views
How do I reject helping my neighbour who constantly asks me for little favours?
My neighbour is constantly asking me for little favours, which is super obnoxious. She regularly asks me to maintain her smartphone as she has no clue what to do with a smartphone and keeps ...
- 491
34
votes
11
answers
15k
views
How can I politely tell my fellow tenants that I am not the caretaker?
I have 3 fellow tenants in the same building where I live.
Every Monday evening, the refuse bins must be put out in the street so that the next morning the company could collect the garbage and empty ...
- 349
33
votes
12
answers
21k
views
How to handle unwanted touching from my partner's friend during conversations?
My partner recently reunited with a friend "Bob" from high school, who has also recently been divorced from his wife of 25 years. He has been visiting us quite often lately and we do enjoy having him ...
- 7,506
32
votes
7
answers
48k
views
How to make someone respect your time when making plans without being rude?
Ok, here is my situation. I met this guy a few months ago, we met a couple of times (not dating, just as friends). We don't talk often but every once in a month or two he suggests that we would get ...
- 1,223
32
votes
15
answers
14k
views
Dealing with a friend trying to get me a girlfriend
TL;DR: Bruce is pushing for me to enter a relationship with Mary, and I like Mary, but don't want any relationship right now, and I want him to back off.
The People
Me: I am not interested in a ...
- 753
31
votes
10
answers
14k
views
How do I address my mother's concerns about my boyfriend's smoking?
My boyfriend smokes tobacco. (Once in a while, he might roll a joint. It helps him relax. I don't mind it because it's not on a daily basis).
Both my mother and his parents know about it. I actually ...
- 7,506
30
votes
5
answers
6k
views
How to communicate to coworkers that I am not comfortable with celebratory hugs
I have three coworkers that I work with directly (one being the manager of our "pod"). As a team we generally work on weekly goals with a meeting at the end of the week to go over accomplishments and ...
- 2,039
28
votes
4
answers
6k
views
How to handle leadership saying, "we have been over this"
I am a contractor (software development) that is currently in contract with a small business--about 6 employees. There is one project manager and one owner of the business. Both of those people seem ...
- 381
28
votes
6
answers
23k
views
How should I respond to someone cleaning my house without me asking?
So I asked a family member to nip to my house to get something while I was at work and when I got home they had thoroughly cleaned most of my house except for the bedrooms. I don't mean they quickly ...
user2356
25
votes
8
answers
4k
views
How should I handle the "loudest" voice in a group project? [closed]
I am in a Software Engineering class in college. Person A likes to be the voice of everyone.
For example, I would ask "What do you think of this?" And without any discussion and a very immediate ...
- 351
24
votes
6
answers
10k
views
How to ask someone on a date when dating isn't usual in your culture?
Background
One similar question is How to clearly communicate that you're asking someone on a date?, but here my situation is noticeably different.
I am from India and many girls don't even ...
23
votes
7
answers
13k
views
How can I tell someone that their teasing is hurting my feelings?
There are times and situations that teasing someone can create a bond of friendship and that the bond created is a result of a well-meaning intention to prepare a person for what they might encounter ...
- 3,358
23
votes
4
answers
5k
views
How to ask for personal space from a new friend without hurting their feelings?
Sometimes you make a new friend who has more free time on hand than you, so the other person will expect more time from your side so asking for more space might be considered as rude or showing fake ...
- 2,274
22
votes
6
answers
5k
views
How to deal with unruly children that aren't yours?
I'm a 21 year old college student living with my girlfriend, her mother, and her mother's boyfriend. We've lived here, on and off, between my house and hers for the past 5 years. I don't consider this ...
- 323
21
votes
2
answers
2k
views
Partner temporary moving in, how to enforce it's temporary?
I live alone and I just love it. I have a girlfriend (of 5 years) who I also love, and since the start of our relationship I've told her that "living together would not happen."
To make a long story ...
- 311
21
votes
7
answers
8k
views
How can I initiate a talk of money with my friend about his business idea?
This is kind of a follow up to How to decline additional help when friend won't take no for an answer
My friend has a business idea that he wants me to build an app for. I'm still deciding my ...
- 291
20
votes
5
answers
11k
views
How to politely communicate to your manager that what they did upset you and ask that it doesn't happen again?
Related How to communicate to someone at work that they are overstepping boundaries.
This happened recently to a girlfriend, Mary, at work. Mary works as a cashier for a large department store that ...
- 7,506
20
votes
5
answers
4k
views
How to convey who will be asked to join my wife and me in the delivery room without causing offense?
My wife and I have just started trying to expand our family. Last night, the topic randomly came up of who should be in the delivery room with us (if we are lucky enough to conceive) as my wife asked ...
- 311
20
votes
5
answers
7k
views
How to politely convey that you don't want to be tagged in irrelevant social media posts?
Some people have the habit of mass-tagging people on irrelevant posts. Mostly they don't have bad intentions but it's really noisy and I would like it stopped.
How to tell these people not to tag me ...
- 2,274
19
votes
6
answers
7k
views
Dealing with a wait-and-see situation when you have a time constraint
Short Version:
I have a budding friendship with a coworker, but recently said something incredibly stupid that has left them feeling justifiably hurt. While I think it would be best to give them ...
19
votes
2
answers
1k
views
How do you show concern or kindness to a stranger without being intrusive?
I was on the train and a young woman, who was a stranger to me, was sitting in the seat across the aisle from me. She was clearly in distress, and periodically would begin to cry. In such a case how ...
- 4,346