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Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

4
votes
2answers
271 views

How to ask the parent of a child I tutor to be less hands on during our lessons?

I have been tutoring French for a very long time, this is the first time I have had a parent who sits at the table with me and their child. During the entire lesson they are interrupting by trying to ...
6
votes
3answers
366 views

How do I use body language to indicate that I am thinking?

My Problem When people give me large amounts of information, I will take plenty of time to process it before giving a response. The amount of time I take usually ranges from 30 seconds to a few ...
14
votes
3answers
572 views

How to politely tell my girlfriend that I want to live on my own for some time

Background I am 24 and my girlfriend is 25, we have been dating for 4 years now. She is from a smaller town, moved to the city for study about 6 years ago, I've been living here for my whole life. ...
4
votes
3answers
367 views

How do I get my flat mate to clean up after herself?

I can't live with this situation any more. Every Morning I enter the kitchen there is a huge mess. Dirty pots, plates and food leftovers. I am really not that fussy but I appreciate a general ...
3
votes
7answers
671 views

How to not be “this annoying nitpicking Quality Engineer”?

I am a 23 years old woman who was hired 2 weeks ago. As a Q&A engineer, I have to ask developers to change the way they are coding in order to improve the code`s quality, maintainability and ...
5
votes
3answers
866 views

How to voice my disapointment with my adult daughter's choice to own a fur-trimmed coat, without having a dispute?

My 24 year-old daughter lives apart from me with her father. A year ago she bought an expensive coyote fur-trimmed Canada Goose brand coat, knowing that it was coyote fur. At the time, I was unaware ...
2
votes
1answer
660 views

Is this a known Interpersonal “Anti-Skill”, if avoided could de-escalate conflict—or could it be original? I call it “barking” [closed]

I found a bad habit in my conversations. When I stopped doing it myself and became aware of it in others, tensions relaxed and conflict de-escalated. Everything I'm asserting is from my experience: ...
5
votes
4answers
778 views

How can I reject a second date idea without ruining the potential for a relationship?

I've had one date with a girl and we both agreed that we had a lot of fun. A second date was set up, but no plans were made. She just told me that her friend asked us to go to dinner, a bar, and a ...
2
votes
5answers
852 views

How do I politely ask the staff at my gym how long it will be before I can use the shower?

I'm male, and I often work out at around the time where the staff at my gym is cleaning the showers. They aren't doing it at a specific time, so I can't plan my way out of it. When it's female staff ...
11
votes
2answers
550 views

How to politely deal with strangers who aggressively hand out religious tracts or preach to you seemingly out of nowhere?

This question is not being posted to get into a religion or freedom of speech debate, but rather present the idea that regardless of religious beliefs, aggressive and pushy behavior wrapped in the ...
21
votes
2answers
1k views

How to get my wife to accept bisexuality before our daughter comes out of the closet?

My oldest daughter is 19 and told me last halloween that she's bi. My daughter is amazingly high functioning (mentally, socially, even professionally) but is living at home at the moment because ...
0
votes
4answers
505 views

How to tell someone I won't do their work

I'm in a situation I don't really know how to handle. I'm a student at university and one of my class mates decided to study way too many things at the same time so she doesn't show up to many of ...
1
vote
2answers
363 views

Calming a friend with an anger issue in a competitive environment

I like to play a certain video game competitively and I've met a lot of friends by doing so. We usually have the same groups at local tournaments, so I've gotten to know these people enough to call ...
1
vote
1answer
633 views

How to tell my parents I want to live in another city and ask them for their support

Background My parents want me and my fiance to move in city A My fiance and I want to live in city B I'm financially dependent on my parents, so they have the upper hand. Not totally dependent, but I ...
15
votes
4answers
2k views

We moved together unexpectedly and early. How do I approach my boyfriend about arising problems?

Current Situation My boyfriend of 5 months is currently living with me in my aparment. He moved in about 2.5 months ago, because he was kicked out by his roommate with a 2 week notice and completely ...
8
votes
2answers
550 views

A stranger on the street accidentaly dropped their wallet: if and how may I point it out to them?

While walking down the street I noticed another pedestrian, who was ahead of me, accidentally dropping his wallet. I did not stare at this wallet, of course, but it wasn't hard to notice that it ...
3
votes
3answers
925 views

How to tell the leaseholder I won't cover a kicked-out roommates rent

Last month I moved into a shared house. There are 6 people living here. The primary leaseholder told me he had told another tenant to move out because he was always late on the rent. I never met this ...
13
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell a family member they are not to have unsupervised time with your child

My wife and I are struggling with a situation involving her sister. Let's call her Suzy. Suzy is an alcoholic/drug addict and is in a relationship with another alcoholic and physically abusive man, ...
11
votes
2answers
624 views

How to tell a friend that she is too loud when she speaks without offending?

My partner and I hang out with another couple. We share many interests, have children of the same age, and are fairly compatible in many aspects. So all is fine for spending several hours together ...
10
votes
2answers
692 views

How do I tell my friend that she is, indeed, rude?

My friend recently texted me asking if she's mean to people and/or a bully, explaining to me that people at work told her she was. Unfortunately, she has a handful of negative characteristics and a ...
8
votes
5answers
740 views

How do I defend my role in a situation, when the person who caused it is part of the conversation?

I've been in a situation like this a handful of times. I'll provide an example: In a competative online gaming group, one other person and I were responsible for a particular task (role). Because of ...
4
votes
2answers
472 views

How to avoid an argument over the phone with my girlfriend

Context I've been dating my girlfriend for the last year, but we became officially a couple 3 months ago, I'm 28 and she is 21. We do not live together and we see each other usually twice a week. ...
3
votes
3answers
587 views

How to deal with confrontational contractor who does not adequately do their job?

I hired a contractor to redo my backyard. The ensuing project was a battle every step of the way. The work needed to be checked nightly; he cut every possible corner; he took 2 months to complete a ...
11
votes
4answers
1k views

Roommate on my wifi

I'm living in an apartment with a roommate. When they first moved in they didn't have a router and therefore could not connect to the internet. I offered to let them connect to my wifi until they were ...
2
votes
0answers
158 views

Would it be appropriate to tell my neighbor's kids to quiet down when their parents are not at home? [closed]

For the past ten years, I have been living next door to a family with four kids and both of the parents work. They usually get home from work around 6:00pm on the weekdays. Their four kids are latch-...
66
votes
9answers
25k views

How to tell a close friend they've been cheated on when the cheater is my good friend

Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective). I have two close friends, Bobby and Sarah, that I met together almost 3 ...
0
votes
2answers
368 views

How to deal with unreasonableness

My attitude is that one cannot reason with someone who, for whatever cause, is being unreasonable. If that party has got it into their head that they are right, even despite blatant contrary evidence, ...
1
vote
1answer
474 views

Is it unwise to attempt to anger other drivers who are exiting the highway? [closed]

There have been many times while driving on the highway when another car has suddenly cut into my lane in order to get over to the right-most lane so they can exit the highway, and I had to slam on ...
1
vote
1answer
145 views

How do I slow down and say what I feel as opposed to the first thing that comes to mind? [closed]

This may belong in a different SE site, but I wasn't sure which is the best one. Background: I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult last year. I'm still working on getting the correct amount of ...
2
votes
4answers
420 views

How can I practice dealing with conflict?

I'm extremely conflict avoidant. I am a peace-keeper in group situations because I hate watching people fight. When it involves me directly, I will do almost anything to push it off or avoid it. This ...
18
votes
2answers
997 views

How to suggest alternative music for my children to sing at my grandmother's religious funeral?

My religious maternal grandmother passed away recently and my mother is involved in planning the services which will be held at a chapel and presided over by the religious minister. My mother just ...
12
votes
6answers
1k views

Co-worker constantly thinks I'm slacking off

I work as the sole web developer in my department doing back end work. As I'm sure many of the developers here will attest to, a large portion of the time spent programming is spent on thinking how ...
3
votes
1answer
369 views

How to move forward from being bullied severely as freshman? [closed]

First of all,thanks for reading this extremely rambling question. This is a highly personal scenario I've wanted to get help with, and frankly couldn't work up the guts to talk to someone, not even my ...
1
vote
1answer
514 views

How to tell politely someone it's none of their business?

I was thinking of making this two separate questions but I think the two together are closely related and affect each other. I've had the experience a few times were someone is trying to get me to do ...
2
votes
2answers
2k views

How to handle students in a classroom who might have feelings for you?

I am in my early 30s, unmarried male. I teach engineering at a local university. Each of my classes have around 30 students. I try to treat everyone fairly. There are of course students who do not ...
5
votes
3answers
675 views

How do I tell someone I won't drive them anymore, when they have no car?

Background: To get a technical diploma I started to attend school last week again and will be there till may next year. I'm currently 22 yo and I'm generally a very agreeable person. The school is ...
2
votes
2answers
605 views

Instuctor wants me to pay for additional lessons before sign off; but didn't complete all hours of the course

I'm taking some mandatory motorcycle lessons (required before you can legally ride on the road). I've paid around $600 for these to the school the runs the course. The course (whose structure, ...
1
vote
0answers
467 views

How can I not be jealous of my spouse? [closed]

All my life, I've wanted to do a doctorate (PhD). Four times, I came really close to being accepted to a programme of study, but life got in the way. The first time, I had to move countries to take ...
4
votes
2answers
418 views

How to politely tell someone the post they shared is wrong/dangerous/bad advice? [duplicate]

There are many posts on social media that are a load of rubbish and just plain factually incorrect. They often end in “if you don’t share a fairy will die” or some such nonsense having bad luck. I ...
5
votes
6answers
2k views

How to explain to a friend I don't like them stopping talking to me due to a jealous friend/sexual partner?

Background I have a friend for almost three years now, we are both 24 y.o, we have always been so close and, even if we live far away from each other (+9000km), we have spoken every single day since ...
2
votes
0answers
318 views

How to deal with a frank speaking and overthinking guy [closed]

I am hanging with a group of friends all around 22 - 23 years old . One of us is sometimes having some anger and sadness at mixed times. It makes the group feel weird. To detail these crises: he ...
10
votes
5answers
1k views

How do I ask others to more quickly let me know about social mistakes I make?

I recently suffered a bit of a fallout in a teaching group I'm frequently a participant in. This was because I kept making brutally honest criticisms about their style of teaching (e.g. "your teaching ...
8
votes
3answers
1k views

How to tell my fiancée's best friend we will marry on her 30th birthday?

My fiancée and I are getting married in fall next year. The location where we will marry has only two available dates and we have to pick one. One of the date is in mid-October where the weather is ...
64
votes
12answers
16k views

How to try to get my neighbour to park their car in their assigned spot?

Situation I live in an allotment with a shared parking with assigned spots. One of my neighbours always parks their car in front of the door of my building instead of in their assigned spot. They ...
10
votes
1answer
2k views

How to ask co-rider to share price for fuel?

I am talking about a close family friend - We travel daily on the same route almost during the same time, the other person has to travel about 8 kilometers more than me. So we decided to share the ...
0
votes
1answer
535 views

My new neighbours have very nicely requested something that I find unreasonable, how should I proceed? [closed]

Background: We recently moved to a new neighborhood and it's rather dark at night (not many street lights). Most neighbors leave outside house lights on at night. Issue: About a month after we ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

How to stop unwanted advice about my pet?

Me and my partner have an indoor cat. She stays in our apartment except when we are away travelling, then we take her to my partner's parents to look after her until we get back (this happens 2-3 ...
88
votes
13answers
25k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to be my gym buddy without hurting her feelings?

I've recently started dating a girl and we're an item, and are happy hanging out together. We have strong feelings for each other. She is somewhat overweight (not hugely so but not at a healthy ...
88
votes
17answers
22k views

How to handle people blocking your view and breaking the rules at the theater by not sitting in their assigned seats?

A while ago, my parents/brothers and I went to visit a theatre performance (in The Netherlands, where we live). We booked really nice first class tickets with empty seats in front of us. We booked ...
3
votes
2answers
582 views

My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering

This woman bought the duplex we rent a couple months ago. We live in the upper, she lives in the lower. She and her girlfriend seem to sleep in the room directly below mine and I can often hear them ...