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Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

7
votes
1answer
485 views

How to approach a person that does not respond to me after I was potentially rude to them?

I am an 18-year-old German, I live in a small (~100 citizens) town neighboring a somewhat bigger (~2000 citizens) town. We have our own small local fire-station but we do not do regular training. To ...
5
votes
1answer
853 views

How can I break up with my girlfriend in the kindest way? [duplicate]

I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and she moved in with me about 2 months ago. Outwardly to my friends and family she is very sweet and kind, but they only know the person she appears to be. ...
3
votes
3answers
1k views

How to talk with a girl about the fact that she keeps standing me up?

I'm interested in a girl in my circle of friends. We know each other as friends, but I decided to try a bit harder to see how far I can go. The first thing I did was talked with her the whole night ...
12
votes
4answers
783 views

How to make a proper, harmless April Fools' joke?

From Wikipedia: April Fools' Day or April Fool's Day (sometimes called All Fools' Day) is an annual celebration commemorated on April 1 by playing practical jokes and spreading hoaxes. The jokes ...
18
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I diplomatically get someone to hurry up and make a trivial decision?

This question was initially triggered by an incident with a houseguest a few months ago. Earlier in the day, he was tossing up whether to join a group of us who were going out for a drink in the ...
8
votes
1answer
713 views

How to say no to a family member who wants to drive the car

I am a very introverted kind of person and don't argue with others. Sometimes it feels like some people just do not know how and where to stop with me. I have a car and there are some people in my ...
3
votes
2answers
637 views

How to stop reoccuring conflict in family home

Context: I am an early 20's British Male. I moved home after University and am suffering from somewhat severe depression. As I got towards graduating, my mother suggested I moved home instead of ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How to open up a conversation with an SO about a possibly inappropriate action?

My husband and I are both white. My husband recently asked a black woman if he could touch her hair. She said yes, and he was delighted. This woman works at a gas station we frequent, so we have seen ...
4
votes
1answer
360 views

Responding to half sister about biological father not returning her messages

I'm asking this on behalf of my partner, as he's asked me to help him respond to his half sister. Background: They both share a father. My partner was not brought up by his biological father and ...
4
votes
2answers
516 views

How to ask my friend to stop blaming me for everything bad that happens to him?

I have a friend who blames me for everything bad that happens to him. If he can't find his things, he assumes that I stole it. If he trips or if someone hits him, he blames me. Recently, this is ...
1
vote
1answer
517 views

How can I stop restaurant cashiers from putting their hands on the rim of my cup?

Whenever I go out to eat at a fast food restaurant or cafeteria, I order a drink. The drink comes in a paper cup, which is located behind the counter. The cashier hands me the paper cup, holding it by ...
9
votes
3answers
705 views

How to tell my friend's mom to stop bothering me about not going to church?

As of recent, I have become less and less involved and active in my religious community; especially my church. There's many reasons for it, but the main ones are: Negative stigma given when doing ...
13
votes
1answer
698 views

How can I lay out my reasons to my girlfriend for why we shouldn't get married?

My girlfriend isn't a citizen of the US and I am. We've also have only been dating for 4 months. So when we first started dating she said that if I wasn't ready for commitment in the range of 1-3 ...
8
votes
1answer
676 views

How do I tell my gf to stop guilting me that I don't love her enough?

My gf and I have been together for several months and recently moved in with each other. To clarify, she moved into my apartment. I have a high paying job, in fact I make quite a bit more than her, ...
11
votes
4answers
682 views

Telling parents that it's okay if their child doesn't kiss me

I have cousins who both have children. Whenever we see each other, my cousins always told their children to "go kiss Ælis" but the children are sometimes reluctant to kiss me (which I can understand). ...
5
votes
2answers
591 views

How to tell beginner pickleball player they shouldn't play?

Often a lower level pickleball player will come to a day set aside for advanced players. (Pickleball has 4 people on a court &usually played at community centers.) It seems if I am nice to them ...
2
votes
1answer
516 views

How to insist roommate provides me with proof of utilities bill?

I live in a shared house with several other people. One of them (call him Bob) signed the master lease with the owner and his name is on all the utilities. I pay Bob rent and my utilities. I have a ...
4
votes
3answers
245 views

How to invite my band-members/coworkers to give me feedback on my performance?

I recently joined a music band that's composed of four colleagues with who I don't work (different projects & teams), but I know them well since we have lunch and banter next to the watercooler ...
1
vote
2answers
879 views

Leaseholder suddenly increased everyone's rent, saying when he renewed lease with owner, they increased it

I live in a shared household. One person signed the lease with the owner and we pay him money for rent. He gave postdated checks to the owner. The lease recently was up for renewal and the owner ...
7
votes
2answers
529 views

How can I tell my friend to chill out?

I have a friend (we'll call them Dallas) who gets frustrated very easily. Not mad, perhaps, but frustrated and short-tempered as a result of some minor incident. A recent example is that we went to a ...
2
votes
2answers
1k views

Telling my cousin that she might want to learn more about cultural appropriation

The other day, I was at my cousin’s home and her daughter was dressed up like "an Indian" (her word to designate a Native American "traditional" outfit). This made me uncomfortable as I was afraid ...
2
votes
2answers
440 views

How to communicate with sensitive roommates accusing me of passive-aggression?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. I really like it here, but as per previous questions there's been some conflicts regarding the rules and expectations of other roommates. I worked really ...
6
votes
3answers
683 views

How to tell people to stop aggrandizing my allergies?

Background I’m a special li’l’ person in that I’m allergic to a lot of foods. This includes... All types of nuts Milk, eggs, cheese; all dairy products Avocado... especially on toast :( Gluten Only ...
4
votes
1answer
518 views

I have to sack a temporary worker. How to communicate it?

I contracted a temporary worker for two weeks, to cover vacations of another person. There is no contract, only a word agreement. His work is to cover a turn during the night, checking some systems ...
8
votes
2answers
455 views

How to tell a patient I don’t want to discuss a personal detail?

I work an introductory job as a technician in a busy hospital. I manage equipment, conduct various tests on patients, and record information I obtain. Because I’m directly working with the patients, ...
6
votes
2answers
618 views

How to ask primary roommate not to share key to my room with other people?

I live in a shared house and one of the roommates has the lease to the place. With is permission, I put a lock on my bedroom door. He then insisted I give him a key. I had hid a key for him to use, ...
5
votes
4answers
954 views

How to evade request to sit somewhere uncomfortable?

Background I was invited to my friend’s flat the other day to enjoy an infrequent visit. It isn’t often I spend time with her, so this was a special occasion. Her flat isn’t exactly high-end and is ...
1
vote
3answers
363 views

How to introduce change in a process while avoiding conflict?

I'm a 23-years-old Q&A engineer who recently started a job in a company who never had Q&A before. The other day, I was talking with my chief and the chiefs of the development team and told ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How to avoid being kissed by someone with braces?

Situation I have recently found myself in a position where someone I am attracted to has tried to kiss me. The only problem I really have with this— their braces. I quickly brushed them off before ...
7
votes
2answers
693 views

Told you are wrong when you aren't by a boss

A long time ago I worked for a chef who would ask questions as teaching moments frequently. This is something I have seen a lot of chefs do, and I have done it myself. Something like: I need you to ...
4
votes
4answers
728 views

How to decline food without sounding picky

My spouse has food sensitivities to things my parents frequently cook including tomatoes and nuts. These sensitivities don't put them into shock, but do cause sensations of pain and discomfort. In a ...
-1
votes
5answers
1k views

Tactfully telling my cousin that she might do too many of the chores in her household

My cousin is a wonderful person, she is a feminist, ecologist, etc.. activist, she cares a lot about people and I really love her (I see her and her family ~once a month for the weekend and I spend ...
2
votes
4answers
958 views

How to say I will not be participating in the current system of sharing costs (because I don't think it's fair), when people are easily offended?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. The house used to be a kind of community house for (where people would eat dinner together and roommates are found through the church). I'm not religious ...
6
votes
5answers
2k views

“But you don't look autistic” isn't a nice thing to say

"But you don't look autistic" (meaning: "you don't behave like an autistic person") is a sentence that a lot of neurotypical people (NT) say to people on the autistic spectrum (usually just after the ...
2
votes
2answers
956 views

How do I set the boundaries I’m not ok with how someone is speaking to me? [closed]

I live in a shared household. I was speaking with someone, call him Bob, in the kitchen. I needed to speak with another roommate, call him Dylan, and asked Bob which room he lives in (Dylan moved in ...
6
votes
1answer
288 views

How can I correct text of another person during a chat without being pedant or making fun of the other person?

A written chat is not a good channel of communication for no verbal language, hence, is quite easy to make mistakes because each side might add different context to the sentences. This might cause ...
8
votes
4answers
964 views

How can I get a drunk person to understand that I don't want to talk to them?

Today I was busing coding/programming in a bar/pub, had my headphones in (as I always do), trying to concentrate on my work. Around 2 PM an obviously-drunk man walks in and orders a beer, then starts ...
5
votes
2answers
816 views

How can I ask my brother to stop saying “future sister in law” when referring to his girl of interest?

My older brother has a habit of cheerfully saying "sister in law?" to me when he gets excited about a girl he's talking to- currently he is engaged for the second time but still says "your future ...
8
votes
1answer
763 views

How to make my girl buy me gifts without sounding needy?

I've been with this girl for 2 years now. Got to say it's been great for me because I actually love her and I have a feeling she does reciprocate those same sentiments. We moved in together at the end ...
3
votes
1answer
787 views

Girlfriend say “yes” but doesn't do it

I'm in a long-distance relationship, fortunately we have plans to put an end to the long-distance. However something really bugs me, namely how whenever I ask something she says "yes sure I'm doing it ...
11
votes
5answers
971 views

Dealing With Unwanted, Repeated, Public Advances

TL;DR Meghan, a member of a close friend group, is pushing me to attend an event with her via repeated, public statements. I find these confusing, distracting, and would like them to stop, with ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I effectively talk to my lover about her relationship?

Background Since probably 6 months ago, I've been dating with a girl (let's call her Emilia) who has BF, (we are in our mid twenties, both from USA) and she told that me since the beginning and I ...
12
votes
2answers
773 views

How do I share I don't wish to be a part of the superstition without insulting anyone?

Quite a big life event happened in my family recently, causing some conversation about a family curse to come up. My niece and nephew brought this old tale up again, and my mom seems to highly believe ...
1
vote
2answers
665 views

My roommate cheats at jeopardy. How do I respond? [duplicate]

Context For the past few months, my roommates and I have been watching Jeopardy when we all get home at night as a fun activity. Whenever one of us knows an answer, they try to yell it out before the ...
8
votes
1answer
480 views

How to ask the parent of a child I tutor to be less hands on during our lessons?

I have been tutoring French for a very long time, this is the first time I have had a parent who sits at the table with me and their child. During the entire lesson they are interrupting by trying to ...
10
votes
3answers
619 views

How do I use body language to indicate that I am thinking?

My Problem When people give me large amounts of information, I will take plenty of time to process it before giving a response. The amount of time I take usually ranges from 30 seconds to a few ...
18
votes
3answers
1k views

How to politely tell my girlfriend that I want to live on my own for some time

Background I am 24 and my girlfriend is 25, we have been dating for 4 years now. She is from a smaller town, moved to the city for study about 6 years ago, I've been living here for my whole life. ...
5
votes
3answers
469 views

How do I get my flat mate to clean up after herself?

I can't live with this situation any more. Every Morning I enter the kitchen there is a huge mess. Dirty pots, plates and food leftovers. I am really not that fussy but I appreciate a general ...
8
votes
7answers
1k views

How to not be “this annoying nitpicking Quality Engineer”?

I am a 23-year-old woman who was hired 2 weeks ago. As a Q&A engineer, I have to ask developers to change the way they are coding in order to improve the code's quality, maintainability, and ...
6
votes
3answers
965 views

How to voice my disapointment with my adult daughter's choice to own a fur-trimmed coat, without having a dispute?

My 24 year-old daughter lives apart from me with her father. A year ago she bought an expensive coyote fur-trimmed Canada Goose brand coat, knowing that it was coyote fur. At the time, I was unaware ...