Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

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5
votes
1answer
244 views

Being a people pleaser vs trying to be more likeable same thing? [closed]

Being a people pleaser obviously has negative connotation. Is trying to be more likeable the same thing as people pleasing or is it something that one should strive for? Just trying to figure out if ...
15
votes
4answers
2k views

SARS-CoV2: When conflict arises over wearing masks, what should I say? [closed]

In Germany, due to the Corona pandemic, the government requires everyone to wear a mask over their mouth and nose in public when within enclosed spaces like supermarkets or public transportation. ...
-2
votes
1answer
248 views

Can a marriage survive when one side doesn't show due to COVID restrictions? [closed]

Two strong-willed families will assemble in the US Mid-Atlantic region. Except, one entire side will not be there due to unforeseen COVID restrictions and quarantine requirements. Only the groom ...
18
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2answers
4k views

How do I support a friend on Social Media who contacted me directly about something I don't want to be involved in?

This has to do with the events going on regarding racism and discrimination. A good friend of mine is black. He recently posted something on social media saying "if you say 'all lives matter' ...
6
votes
2answers
651 views

How do I balance saying no and being liked?

I often find myself in the following situation: a friend from work asks to borrow an object, such as a book or my bike or a piece of jewelry they might have seen me wear or money, to pay for food if ...
1
vote
2answers
537 views

How to explain to family that I don't want to keep fixing the same tech problems?

Firstly, I have a very good relationship with my family and there are no issues on that front. However, due to me working in a technical capacity professionally all of the technical questions / issues ...
3
votes
1answer
478 views

Asking housemate’s partners to contribute toward bills during pandemic?

I share a 5 bedroom house with 4 others. We all get on and they are nice people. As the Coronavirus spread in the UK I was put on furlough (temporary leave paid for by the government, as long as I ...
1
vote
1answer
368 views

How to deal with my project manager?

I've been a software developper at an IT company for the last 3.5 years now and I've pretty much enjoyed it so far. About 9 months ago, I've asked to work on another project as my former attributions ...
29
votes
3answers
9k views

Classmate is being deported - how could I politely offer to buy their furniture?

My classmate is being deported from the U.S. due to visa issues and has no intentions of returning in the coming years - they plan to join a lab at university in their home country. They're really ...
16
votes
1answer
1k views

How to respond to challenges about using the women's restroom as a trans woman

I'm a transgender woman, and I'm getting to the point in my transition where I'm starting to use the women's restroom. However, given the recent climate around transgender people using the appropriate ...
4
votes
2answers
784 views

Confronting an Inconsiderate Co-Worker

A little background: I am very conflict averse. I go out of my way to be friendly and accommodating. Recently I was promoted at work, but I am in a different group. I used to be in a technical ...
2
votes
0answers
246 views

Is it acceptable to ask for money to replace a rug that an acquaintance's dog ruined? [closed]

Background: Recently, a young couple moved into our area, and started going to church in our congregation. They first couple months, they struggled to make friends and fit in, so my wife and I ...
5
votes
2answers
939 views

How to explain I won't attend a theme party?

My female friend had a son recently, and it is a source of great joy for all of us (friends). When her son was three months old, we organized a surprise party for him, and the mom was very happy with ...
2
votes
1answer
454 views

How to avoid blaming a single person for issues submitting a group assignment?

I have a group assignment that is due soon. We are only allowed one submission per group (and further submissions, even before the deadline, will be penalized). This group assignment is worth a ...
64
votes
7answers
13k views

Dealing with unwanted “Joking” physical contact

This isn't really a sexual thing, just something that makes me uncomfortable. So I hate having my hair up or braiding it or doing anything with it in general because I think it looks weird and it's ...
2
votes
0answers
104 views

How to get friends(s) to confirm for certain if they are attending or not? [duplicate]

I think this is a fairly common situation. When trying to arrange something, some people don't like to commit so they say "maybe". This is a problem, because space may be limited or reservations may ...
1
vote
2answers
799 views

How to express frustration that friend left without telling anyone?

I have a problem where I either say nothing or get abrasive when I try to get a person to stop doing something that bothers me. This is why I'm asking here. My friend (Bob) had invited me and another ...
4
votes
2answers
616 views

How to discuss the lack of effort in a friendship without causing conflict?

About 3 years ago I moved from Canada to Ireland. While I didn't have many friends in Canada, I have a friend that I've been very close to for over 20 years. In the first 2 years after I moved to ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How to deal with a depressed person who thinks people are uniting against her?

Let's call this person Alice. Alice is currently in therapy and taking drugs to treat a long lasting depression. Alice is also quite egocentric i.e. likes to be in everybody's focus and tries to get ...
3
votes
1answer
390 views

How to convince younger brother to participate in helping me and others instead of being too focused to something?

Background I fought my younger brother when he flat out told me that whatever he's doing at the moment is much more important than any problems that are not his and that it is too much of a hassle to ...
4
votes
2answers
574 views

How to handle someone who never gets important stuff done

I have problems with my girlfriend taking forever to get stuff done. To the point where it really causes problems in our relationship. She took forever to get her passport (we almost missed a massive ...
10
votes
2answers
802 views

How to politely get rid of someone soliciting donations at your door?

When people come to the door asking for donations how do you politely end the conversation and close the door? Some of the causes are very worthy but I don't have the money. I had jobs before where ...
3
votes
2answers
479 views

How do I politely tell people in public I won't give out my e-mail? [closed]

I noticed recently when I'm checking out at the store, the cashier will ask for my email address, so that the store can send me flyers, coupons, and promotions. In other words, junk. What I've tried:...
1
vote
1answer
647 views

How to reply to “I shouldn't have to speak to you like that”? [closed]

For more back story, see here. I was asked to a meeting with 2 people from a group of friends I hangout with. The subject was complex. I believe we all respect each other and value direct, open ...
20
votes
2answers
2k views

Partner temporary moving in, how to enforce it's temporary?

I live alone and I just love it. I have a girlfriend (of 5 years) who I also love, and since the start of our relationship I've told her that "living together would not happen." To make a long story ...
9
votes
1answer
783 views

How to gently ask my neighbor not to use my bins for their waste?

In the past months, there were several occasions when I found foreign waste in my personal bins. I cannot say, that was my neighbor for sure as I never saw anyone. But the waste type and content made ...
42
votes
3answers
25k views

Two people from small group of friends want to have a “meeting” with me. The circumstances are strange and give me a bad feeling

I have a small group of friends that get together and hangout. Usually we hangout on Fridays. We usually go to the same person's home. One person from this group (call him Bob) contacted me. He said ...
20
votes
3answers
6k views

How to ask someone about something without accusing them [closed]

I would like to know how to ask someone about something without accusing them. If I want to know if someone at work has used my computer, can I ask "Have you used my computer?", without insulting ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I handle someone railroading conversations?

So I have a few fairly new friends. Most are very quiet and shy except for one person who is super confident, friendly and LOUD... lets call her Lucy. The other day the 6 of us had a barbecue where ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How to Resolve Underlying Tension with my Best Friend

I have a friend, that we'll call Alex, who I've been friends with for years. He's a good guy and our relationship is generally pretty good, but over the past few years there's been a kind of ...
14
votes
2answers
1k views

How to warn father about catfishing scams?

Due to my father's browser sloppiness, and in spite of my efforts to NOT see what he's doing, I know he is on dating sites talking to women. I was fixing something for him when a chat window popped up,...
4
votes
1answer
574 views

How can I approach the situation where I feel I’m neglected?

I’m the youngest child out of three and I’ve felt passive and alone most of the time since I was a kid. My oldest siblings were and are closer to each other (now even physically since I’m abroad). ...
8
votes
1answer
1k views

How to talk to my landlord about a playmate of his daughter stressing me?

Background So I am living in a 3 party house, which was a generation house before 1 flat got free like 2 years ago and I moved in half a year ago (Might be relevant). My landlord and his wife live in ...
7
votes
1answer
1k views

Communicating to a close friend that I don't feel valued or respected at times

I have a close female friend who I've known for a few years. We've been through thick and thin together, and have always been able to be open and honest in many different situations. For example, she ...
6
votes
1answer
353 views

Managing visitors to a terminally ill person

One of my parents, A, is going through the last months of cancer. They are forced in bed at home and constantly taking painkillers to manage the pain. When relatives and friends come to visit, there ...
9
votes
1answer
833 views

Giving feedback to someone behaving impolitely

I live in an urban area where there are not enough parking spaces for all the apartments, so residents need to use street parking. Street parking space is scarce and coveted. There's a guy on our ...
19
votes
2answers
2k views

How to stop people from assuming I am female on the telephone?

Despite being male (both genetically and self-identified), I sound like, as a friend once stated, "an 8 year old girl". My voice is very high pitched and child-like due to brain cancer. This is ...
51
votes
4answers
23k views

How do I get my boyfriend to remove pictures of his ex girlfriend hanging in his apartment?

Background Information: We have been together for 2.5 years. We do not live together, but visit each others apartments around 5 times a week. He is in his early 30s and I am in my mid 20s. We live in ...
19
votes
3answers
2k views

Negative feedbacks and “Language smoother”

I don't know what is the "scientific" term for that but I noticed that, when people give negative feedback, they sometimes use "tricks" to make their words less harsh. For example, they will use ...
6
votes
5answers
1k views

How can I tell a friend about a future trip without upsetting another friend, who wants me to hold the truth about it?

Soon, I'll be going on a trip for one weekend; "Friend B", who is planning this trip, wants to exclude "Friend A" who will likely ask me sometime during the trip what I'm up to. "Friend B" reiterated ...
8
votes
3answers
866 views

How to talk to coworker about loud outbursts

My desk at work is in a small room shared with two other coworkers, let's call them Alice and Bob. Alice is in general a loud and outspoken / opinionated person, but doesn't talk much to either of us ...
52
votes
7answers
19k views

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

I live in a big city (in Paris, France) and take public transportation every day. I'm perceived as a woman and I will sometimes have to sit near people who spread out and take up more space than just ...
4
votes
1answer
717 views

How can I tell my two roommates separately that I’m moving out?

Some background information: I’m international and I currently live with two American humans (let’s call them A & B - I’ve known A for a while, but I don’t know B very well; they’re friends.) in ...
42
votes
5answers
18k views

How do I politely hint to customers to leave my store, without pretending to need to leave myself?

I own a small gelato juice bar with a piddling number of seats for customers. I'm working alone right now; my employees returned to school and I haven't hired yet. Too frequently, after buying and ...
32
votes
7answers
9k views

Friend is very nitpicky about side comments I don't intend to be taken too seriously

I have a close friend who seems to hyper-analyze some things I say and gets upset with things he thinks I didn't give much thought to. One example is: we were hanging out and talking about card ...
80
votes
9answers
22k views

How do I stop making people jump at home and at work?

I make a lot of people jump when I enter the room or try to get their attention. I am not sure what exactly I am doing wrong, but I would like to stop it so I am looking for suggestions. I have had a ...
2
votes
0answers
211 views

Telling my neighbors to not blow his weedy lawn clippings onto my newly mowed lawn [closed]

I have new neighbors who are apparently not well versed in mowing their lawn, or neighborly manners. When they first moved in, they did not have a working mower, only a very old push mower. After ...
2
votes
2answers
616 views

How to talk about what religious denomination you belong to without making the person uncomfortable?

I recently came into contact with some close relatives (my paternal grandparents) that I've never met and we've been talking on the phone and over email for a month or so. I sent them pictures of my ...
6
votes
1answer
505 views

How do you politely respond to people who ask too many obvious questions?

I really like helping people and I don't mind helping others with work and assignments etc. However, there are a few people who will take it very far and I've come across this a few times. For ...
6
votes
1answer
2k views

How to ask a noisy housemate to be quieter?

I've lived in an apartment with my two housemates for 10 months. One housemate is not very problematic. The other, however, has become very noisy within the past few months. Ever since summer has ...

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