Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

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83 views

My closest friend gets (in my opinion) irrationally angry over small things, how do I deal with this? [closed]

For some background information, we're both mentally ill in similar ways and we've built a strong connection based on helping one another. I love her, and she claims to love me. But the last few weeks ...
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1answer
222 views

How do I get to the point of asking questions and getting answers?

No matter what I say or do, I am truly just always asking questions about what I do not understand to people who are capable of helping me understand what I need to know about that topic, and no one ...
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1answer
443 views

How do I stop a person I am not interested in being friends with from contacting me?

There is a middle-aged Scandinavian educated chap (similar age) neighbour who befriended me (I am male too), even though I never wanted be anything more than neighbour or associate at best, but he is ...
2
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1answer
570 views

Handling Christians' unpleasant feedback on non-Christian Beliefs? [closed]

A question was asked on the Buddhism stack that garnered a well written answer from the Buddhist point of view, comparing Jesus and Buddha to highlight similarities. However, I'm interested in a ...
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2answers
352 views

How to avoid conflict when telling your SO that you are going to start searching for work in another country?

Context I've been in a relationship for the last two years, we are in our late 20's and during the last year we have had some talks about future, we have different views for the next five years, she ...
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1answer
813 views

Relative emailed me demanding to know my political views because they disliked my wife's Facebook posts

This morning I received an email from a relative demanding that I state my political viewpoints on a hot-button topic in US politics because his political views are opposite from those that are being ...
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4answers
5k views

How can I negotiate following a diet with a reluctant significant other?

I'm 30 and due to being very sedentary, especially with COVID-19, due to being on a medicine that affects hunger, I'm slightly overweight. I'm taking this very seriously as I've never been overweight ...
6
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1answer
286 views

Being a people pleaser vs trying to be more likeable same thing? [closed]

Being a people pleaser obviously has negative connotation. Is trying to be more likeable the same thing as people pleasing or is it something that one should strive for? Just trying to figure out if ...
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4answers
2k views

SARS-CoV2: When conflict arises over wearing masks, what should I say? [closed]

In Germany, due to the Corona pandemic, the government requires everyone to wear a mask over their mouth and nose in public when within enclosed spaces like supermarkets or public transportation. ...
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1answer
297 views

Can a marriage survive when one side doesn't show due to COVID restrictions? [closed]

Two strong-willed families will assemble in the US Mid-Atlantic region. Except, one entire side will not be there due to unforeseen COVID restrictions and quarantine requirements. Only the groom ...
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2answers
4k views

How do I support a friend on Social Media who contacted me directly about something I don't want to be involved in?

This has to do with the events going on regarding racism and discrimination. A good friend of mine is black. He recently posted something on social media saying "if you say 'all lives matter' ...
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2answers
683 views

How do I balance saying no and being liked?

I often find myself in the following situation: a friend from work asks to borrow an object, such as a book or my bike or a piece of jewelry they might have seen me wear or money, to pay for food if ...
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2answers
558 views

How to explain to family that I don't want to keep fixing the same tech problems?

Firstly, I have a very good relationship with my family and there are no issues on that front. However, due to me working in a technical capacity professionally all of the technical questions / issues ...
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1answer
506 views

Asking housemate’s partners to contribute toward bills during pandemic?

I share a 5 bedroom house with 4 others. We all get on and they are nice people. As the Coronavirus spread in the UK I was put on furlough (temporary leave paid for by the government, as long as I ...
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1answer
378 views

How to deal with my project manager?

I've been a software developper at an IT company for the last 3.5 years now and I've pretty much enjoyed it so far. About 9 months ago, I've asked to work on another project as my former attributions ...
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3answers
9k views

Classmate is being deported - how could I politely offer to buy their furniture?

My classmate is being deported from the U.S. due to visa issues and has no intentions of returning in the coming years - they plan to join a lab at university in their home country. They're really ...
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1answer
1k views

How to respond to challenges about using the women's restroom as a trans woman

I'm a transgender woman, and I'm getting to the point in my transition where I'm starting to use the women's restroom. However, given the recent climate around transgender people using the appropriate ...
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2answers
808 views

Confronting an Inconsiderate Co-Worker

A little background: I am very conflict averse. I go out of my way to be friendly and accommodating. Recently I was promoted at work, but I am in a different group. I used to be in a technical ...
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0answers
250 views

Is it acceptable to ask for money to replace a rug that an acquaintance's dog ruined? [closed]

Background: Recently, a young couple moved into our area, and started going to church in our congregation. They first couple months, they struggled to make friends and fit in, so my wife and I ...
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2answers
950 views

How to explain I won't attend a theme party?

My female friend had a son recently, and it is a source of great joy for all of us (friends). When her son was three months old, we organized a surprise party for him, and the mom was very happy with ...
2
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1answer
456 views

How to avoid blaming a single person for issues submitting a group assignment?

I have a group assignment that is due soon. We are only allowed one submission per group (and further submissions, even before the deadline, will be penalized). This group assignment is worth a ...
64
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7answers
13k views

Dealing with unwanted “Joking” physical contact

This isn't really a sexual thing, just something that makes me uncomfortable. So I hate having my hair up or braiding it or doing anything with it in general because I think it looks weird and it's ...
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0answers
104 views

How to get friends(s) to confirm for certain if they are attending or not? [duplicate]

I think this is a fairly common situation. When trying to arrange something, some people don't like to commit so they say "maybe". This is a problem, because space may be limited or reservations may ...
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2answers
805 views

How to express frustration that friend left without telling anyone?

I have a problem where I either say nothing or get abrasive when I try to get a person to stop doing something that bothers me. This is why I'm asking here. My friend (Bob) had invited me and another ...
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2answers
619 views

How to discuss the lack of effort in a friendship without causing conflict?

About 3 years ago I moved from Canada to Ireland. While I didn't have many friends in Canada, I have a friend that I've been very close to for over 20 years. In the first 2 years after I moved to ...
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2answers
1k views

How to deal with a depressed person who thinks people are uniting against her?

Let's call this person Alice. Alice is currently in therapy and taking drugs to treat a long lasting depression. Alice is also quite egocentric i.e. likes to be in everybody's focus and tries to get ...
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1answer
393 views

How to convince younger brother to participate in helping me and others instead of being too focused to something?

Background I fought my younger brother when he flat out told me that whatever he's doing at the moment is much more important than any problems that are not his and that it is too much of a hassle to ...
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2answers
582 views

How to handle someone who never gets important stuff done

I have problems with my girlfriend taking forever to get stuff done. To the point where it really causes problems in our relationship. She took forever to get her passport (we almost missed a massive ...
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2answers
814 views

How to politely get rid of someone soliciting donations at your door?

When people come to the door asking for donations how do you politely end the conversation and close the door? Some of the causes are very worthy but I don't have the money. I had jobs before where ...
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2answers
485 views

How do I politely tell people in public I won't give out my e-mail? [closed]

I noticed recently when I'm checking out at the store, the cashier will ask for my email address, so that the store can send me flyers, coupons, and promotions. In other words, junk. What I've tried:...
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1answer
652 views

How to reply to “I shouldn't have to speak to you like that”? [closed]

For more back story, see here. I was asked to a meeting with 2 people from a group of friends I hangout with. The subject was complex. I believe we all respect each other and value direct, open ...
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2answers
2k views

Partner temporary moving in, how to enforce it's temporary?

I live alone and I just love it. I have a girlfriend (of 5 years) who I also love, and since the start of our relationship I've told her that "living together would not happen." To make a long story ...
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1answer
791 views

How to gently ask my neighbor not to use my bins for their waste?

In the past months, there were several occasions when I found foreign waste in my personal bins. I cannot say, that was my neighbor for sure as I never saw anyone. But the waste type and content made ...
42
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3answers
25k views

Two people from small group of friends want to have a “meeting” with me. The circumstances are strange and give me a bad feeling

I have a small group of friends that get together and hangout. Usually we hangout on Fridays. We usually go to the same person's home. One person from this group (call him Bob) contacted me. He said ...
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3answers
7k views

How to ask someone about something without accusing them [closed]

I would like to know how to ask someone about something without accusing them. If I want to know if someone at work has used my computer, can I ask "Have you used my computer?", without insulting ...
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2answers
1k views

How can I handle someone railroading conversations?

So I have a few fairly new friends. Most are very quiet and shy except for one person who is super confident, friendly and LOUD... lets call her Lucy. The other day the 6 of us had a barbecue where ...
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2answers
1k views

How to Resolve Underlying Tension with my Best Friend

I have a friend, that we'll call Alex, who I've been friends with for years. He's a good guy and our relationship is generally pretty good, but over the past few years there's been a kind of ...
14
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2answers
1k views

How to warn father about catfishing scams?

Due to my father's browser sloppiness, and in spite of my efforts to NOT see what he's doing, I know he is on dating sites talking to women. I was fixing something for him when a chat window popped up,...
4
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1answer
578 views

How can I approach the situation where I feel I’m neglected?

I’m the youngest child out of three and I’ve felt passive and alone most of the time since I was a kid. My oldest siblings were and are closer to each other (now even physically since I’m abroad). ...
8
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1answer
1k views

How to talk to my landlord about a playmate of his daughter stressing me?

Background So I am living in a 3 party house, which was a generation house before 1 flat got free like 2 years ago and I moved in half a year ago (Might be relevant). My landlord and his wife live in ...
8
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1answer
2k views

Communicating to a close friend that I don't feel valued or respected at times

I have a close female friend who I've known for a few years. We've been through thick and thin together, and have always been able to be open and honest in many different situations. For example, she ...
6
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1answer
356 views

Managing visitors to a terminally ill person

One of my parents, A, is going through the last months of cancer. They are forced in bed at home and constantly taking painkillers to manage the pain. When relatives and friends come to visit, there ...
9
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1answer
839 views

Giving feedback to someone behaving impolitely

I live in an urban area where there are not enough parking spaces for all the apartments, so residents need to use street parking. Street parking space is scarce and coveted. There's a guy on our ...
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2answers
2k views

How to stop people from assuming I am female on the telephone?

Despite being male (both genetically and self-identified), I sound like, as a friend once stated, "an 8 year old girl". My voice is very high pitched and child-like due to brain cancer. This is ...
51
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4answers
23k views

How do I get my boyfriend to remove pictures of his ex girlfriend hanging in his apartment?

Background Information: We have been together for 2.5 years. We do not live together, but visit each others apartments around 5 times a week. He is in his early 30s and I am in my mid 20s. We live in ...
19
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3answers
2k views

Negative feedbacks and “Language smoother”

I don't know what is the "scientific" term for that but I noticed that, when people give negative feedback, they sometimes use "tricks" to make their words less harsh. For example, they will use ...
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5answers
1k views

How can I tell a friend about a future trip without upsetting another friend, who wants me to hold the truth about it?

Soon, I'll be going on a trip for one weekend; "Friend B", who is planning this trip, wants to exclude "Friend A" who will likely ask me sometime during the trip what I'm up to. "Friend B" reiterated ...
8
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3answers
871 views

How to talk to coworker about loud outbursts

My desk at work is in a small room shared with two other coworkers, let's call them Alice and Bob. Alice is in general a loud and outspoken / opinionated person, but doesn't talk much to either of us ...
52
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7answers
19k views

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

I live in a big city (in Paris, France) and take public transportation every day. I'm perceived as a woman and I will sometimes have to sit near people who spread out and take up more space than just ...
4
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1answer
718 views

How can I tell my two roommates separately that I’m moving out?

Some background information: I’m international and I currently live with two American humans (let’s call them A & B - I’ve known A for a while, but I don’t know B very well; they’re friends.) in ...

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