Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

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133 views

What to do when your disrespectful unruly child refuses to go to school [on hold]

My 16 year old son is disrespectful and very rude to me. Hes even called me a horrible mother. Today he was arguing with me about going to school. And telling me he does t want to go to school. He ...
22
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7answers
5k views

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

I live in a big city (in Paris, France) and take public transportation every day. I'm perceived as a woman and I will sometimes have to sit near people who spread out and take up more space than just ...
4
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1answer
605 views

How can I tell my two roommates separately that I’m moving out?

Some background information: I’m international and I currently live with two American humans (let’s call them A & B - I’ve known A for a while, but I don’t know B very well; they’re friends.) in ...
42
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5answers
16k views

How do I politely hint to customers to leave my store, without pretending to need to leave myself?

I own a small gelato juice bar with a piddling number of seats for customers. I'm working alone right now; my employees returned to school and I haven't hired yet. Too frequently, after buying and ...
0
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0answers
262 views

How to persuade a neighbour to allow for a small building in a shared space? [closed]

TLDR: There is a perfect spot to build a garage-like shed in my backyard. Everyone but one neighbour agrees for me to build it and store motorcycle, bicycles, bicycle trailers there. How do I best ...
32
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6answers
8k views

Friend is very nitpicky about side comments I don't intend to be taken too seriously

I have a close friend who seems to hyper-analyze some things I say and gets upset with things he thinks I didn't give much thought to. One example is: we were hanging out and talking about card ...
78
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9answers
21k views

How do I stop making people jump at home and at work?

I make a lot of people jump when I enter the room or try to get their attention. I am not sure what exactly I am doing wrong, but I would like to stop it so I am looking for suggestions. I have had a ...
1
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0answers
154 views

How to approach someone one likes and how to get to know them well? [closed]

How to approach; also how does the way that the approach in itself is organised differ depending on the location the person was met? As for approach I mean something between these lines Speak to (...
2
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0answers
187 views

Telling my neighbors to not blow his weedy lawn clippings onto my newly mowed lawn [closed]

I have new neighbors who are apparently not well versed in mowing their lawn, or neighborly manners. When they first moved in, they did not have a working mower, only a very old push mower. After ...
2
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2answers
535 views

How to talk about what religious denomination you belong to without making the person uncomfortable?

I recently came into contact with some close relatives (my paternal grandparents) that I've never met and we've been talking on the phone and over email for a month or so. I sent them pictures of my ...
6
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1answer
456 views

How do you politely respond to people who ask too many obvious questions?

I really like helping people and I don't mind helping others with work and assignments etc. However, there are a few people who will take it very far and I've come across this a few times. For ...
5
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1answer
648 views

How to ask a noisy housemate to be quieter?

I've lived in an apartment with my two housemates for 10 months. One housemate is not very problematic. The other, however, has become very noisy within the past few months. Ever since summer has ...
2
votes
2answers
554 views

Asking a coworker to chitchat somewhere else

Background I work in an open space and people there chitchat fairly often. I do it, my coworkers do it and everyone is fine with that (even if it can be a bit annoying IMO). Today, one of my ...
15
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3answers
2k views

How do I approach telling guests not to overstay their welcome?

I had a game night last night and two of my sister's friends came and played, one is male and 20, call him B, and the other is a female ~18 years old, call her L. When my husband was finishing his ...
1
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0answers
257 views

How to deal with unreasonable neighbours whose landlord doesn't care? [closed]

We own our own house in a nice quiet residential area, about 100 houses, mostly young families, about 60% owner-occupier. There is no assigned parking, but the management company agreement we all ...
6
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3answers
878 views

How can I talk about positive circumstances in my life without hurting coworkers who are in the opposite situation?

Several times in the past, I've had a bit of good news which I'd like to share at work (or at least not actively hide). The issue is that often, a colleague is struggling in the same domain. I know ...
15
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1answer
1k views

How to help my child come out as a trans woman to extended family?

My daughter was brave enough to come out to us that she is a woman. That story is on Parenting SE. My daughter would like to come out to the extended family well before the holidays so that people ...
8
votes
1answer
608 views

How to make aware co worker about their parking skills?

I work in a MNC (Multi national company) in a populated city where having a car is necessary for transport purposes and daily commute. Question How can I tell/make aware a coworker (who is not in ...
12
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1answer
707 views

How to communicate to my spouse I can't stand unexpected touch without hurting their feelings?

TL;DR I've recently learned about my autism and still need to understand what it means. I have struggle being touched when I don't expect it and it hurts my spouse when I already tried to explain to ...
2
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0answers
228 views

How can I refuse a dinner with my relatives? [closed]

I have never been close to one of my relatives. The only living thing I like is my dog. We are having dinner tomorrow with a bunch of relatives and friends. My dad will pick me up at 7 pm but I don'...
71
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6answers
15k views

How do I tell my girlfriend she's been buying me books by the wrong author for the last nine months?

Help! For the last nine months my girlfriend has been buying me books by the wrong author, fully believing that she's treating me to work by my favourite writer (who incidentally she believes is a ...
11
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1answer
682 views

How can I end interactions with a stranger after a conversation has turned bad?

The situation Last night I went to a bar after work to meet a friend to have a beer and catch up. There was a man "James" sitting next to us at the bar who had clearly taken an interest in our ...
-1
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1answer
321 views

How to avoid people who always see negative side of everything [closed]

I noticed some people around me try to pick on things which I cannot do or have, e.g. if your car is manual, why is it manual? why not automatic? or you should have taken direction from us ...
5
votes
2answers
333 views

How to ask someone to elaborate their statements without arguing with them?

It has happened many times to me. Also, but not exclusively, on *.stackexchange sites. Someone makes a statement. Often, but not always, they do this as a response to a question I asked. What they ...
10
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5answers
3k views

How to reply to small talk/random facts in a non-offensive way?

I've discovered that when I have a conversation with someone, I sometimes answer in a somehow offensive way. For example: Person: I just read that actor is born in town X. Me: So what? You're ...
8
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4answers
669 views

How can I tell a coworker I carpool with to drive more safely?

I'm at a fairly new job, and for transport, I'm carpooling with a coworker of mine, who owns a car. I've noticed that this coworker tends to drive rather unsafely. I've first noticed them rolling ...
14
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I stop my niece with developmental disorder from sitting behind my juice bar?

I own a small juice bar, with two seats behind the counter for me and my employees, and a piddling number of seats for customers that are usually occupied. My brother has genetic disorders and his ...
-3
votes
2answers
786 views

How to communicate to my wife the same thing which I already repeated her 100 times? [closed]

To give the cultural context, I am from South India and married for 15+ years. Ever since the beginning of our marriage, I keep saying the following items repeatedly to her ( let's call her Mohini). ...
12
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1answer
1k views

How do I avoid an interaction with an employee at the grocery store escalating to the store manager?

I live in the Netherlands. I am an immigrant of North African descent, and Muslim by faith. Yesterday I walked into a major grocery store. I was very angry and stressed for other reasons. In this ...
6
votes
1answer
856 views

How to approach boundary setting when family composition changes?

My wife's sister is very close to our family, and over the course of the last few years, it's become a common practice for her to do her laundry at our house. I don't generally mind this, my wife ...
11
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1answer
876 views

How do I deal with a friend group that I fear is making its more successful member upset?

I'm one of a close group of friends, we'll call them A, B, C, D, E and F. All of us are middle-aged. Of those, A (which is not me) is quite successful; he has his own home and family, a property ...
6
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2answers
517 views

Confront mentor on unwarranted remark

My meditation mentor is convinced that I do not practice at home, while, in truth, I do practice regularly. Her argument is that, in her eyes, I have not improved my attention span, nor my ...
18
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6answers
10k views

How to let other coworkers know that I don't share my coworker's political views?

Background Today, I was in my workplace kitchen where I was having lunch. There were other coworkers having lunch there too. One of them (let's call him Bob) was talking about political stuff and ...
2
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1answer
494 views

How to decline giving details about my previous doctor's opinion when transitioning between two doctors?

I take a potentially toxic drug that is interacting with another drug (i.e. this is a high stakes situation). I am not happy with my current doctor's proposed method of addressing this interaction ...
1
vote
1answer
599 views

Someone else using my cooler without my permission

This might be very intuitive for someone to suggest me to ask him to put it back. But please hold on. I live in a hostel and changed room to the next room which had a cooler already (owned by my new ...
10
votes
1answer
885 views

How can I avoid lending my bike?

There's this kid I've been riding with for quite some time that keeps borrowing my bike non-stop leaving me riding his broken bike. Not that I dislike him riding my bike or anything, is just that ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How to motivate my lazy partner towards self improvement?

Background: I am 23, partner is 21. Been together for 4 years. We just moved in together a month ago while I am working abroad for a few months, to have a "trial" period of whether we're good ...
0
votes
2answers
1k views

Asking my sister to show less display of affection to her SO in public

Background I've always had a pretty great relationship with my sister. I would say that, growing up, we've been best friends, a lot of our close friends are mutual friends, we've been on holiday ...
4
votes
1answer
403 views

How to politely turn down an offer from someone to join a pyramid scheme? [duplicate]

My girlfriend and I went out to eat with an acquaintance of hers and his wife. They were really nice people, but at the end of the dinner date, they brought up a known pyramid scheme that they're a ...
6
votes
1answer
613 views

How do I call out (tell him his behavior is unacceptable) a narcissistic father?

TL;DR: I want to communicate to my narcissistic father that it is unacceptable that he is attempting to blackmail my sister. Refer to my past questions for more information regarding my father and ...
4
votes
2answers
803 views

How do I inform my overprotective mother that my girlfriend isn't a distraction?

... And that she really isn't how my mother sees her? I have a girlfriend whom I love very much, we've been going out for quite some time but we kept our relationship a secret from my parents. My ...
2
votes
1answer
159 views

When is it good to argue with someone vs ignoring them? [closed]

When should you express your disagreement versus ignoring the person? I have a flat mate who is very bossy. He was telling me not to use the back door as it's only used for emergencies. He's not the ...
4
votes
1answer
511 views

Politely declining a request to use my railway card to get a ticket when the person has to stand in the queue

Background: I'm from India. In our railways, we have multiple ways of booking tickets, one of them being the regular way (stand in the queue) and the other, a card which lets you get your ticket ...
8
votes
1answer
564 views

Handling boss who doesn't pays salary on time

Asking this mainly for my wife, not myself. I'm also affected by it since we live together. Please note that I'm NOT asking for legal advice. Legally I would know how to proceed, unfortunately, it's ...
9
votes
1answer
945 views

How can I ask my girlfriend to accept my choice of charity to support?

I support a charity based in my country that helps people escape a specific oppressive government and relocate to other countries as refugees. If I'm being completely honest, I don't really know why I ...
13
votes
3answers
918 views

How to handle someone who takes over and derails meetings?

Background I'm a software developer and recently the product owner on my team has been intermittently absent. Her direct boss "Joe" has started attending some of our meetings that she can't make it ...
10
votes
1answer
905 views

How to approach a person that does not respond to me after I was potentially rude to them?

I am an 18-year-old German, I live in a small (~100 citizens) town neighboring a somewhat bigger (~2000 citizens) town. We have our own small local fire-station but we do not do regular training. To ...
5
votes
1answer
1k views

How can I break up with my girlfriend in the kindest way? [duplicate]

I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and she moved in with me about 2 months ago. Outwardly to my friends and family she is very sweet and kind, but they only know the person she appears to be. ...
3
votes
3answers
2k views

How to talk with a girl about the fact that she keeps standing me up?

I'm interested in a girl in my circle of friends. We know each other as friends, but I decided to try a bit harder to see how far I can go. The first thing I did was talked with her the whole night ...
12
votes
4answers
874 views

How to make a proper, harmless April Fools' joke?

From Wikipedia: April Fools' Day or April Fool's Day (sometimes called All Fools' Day) is an annual celebration commemorated on April 1 by playing practical jokes and spreading hoaxes. The jokes ...