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Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

3
votes
2answers
374 views

How to communicate with sensitive roommates accusing me of passive-aggression?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. I really like it here, but as per previous questions there's been some conflicts regarding the rules and expectations of other roommates. I worked really ...
0
votes
0answers
50 views

What techniques could a shy person use to have a better outcome when asking questions on this SE? [migrated]

For someone who is shy, interpersonal skills are always a big challenge. It's especially daunting, because there's always an intrapersonal aspect to it, which is generally much harder to overcome than ...
6
votes
3answers
617 views

How to tell people to stop aggrandizing my allergies?

Background I’m a special li’l’ person in that I’m allergic to a lot of foods. This includes... All types of nuts Milk, eggs, cheese; all dairy products Avocado... especially on toast :( Gluten Only ...
4
votes
1answer
486 views

I have to sack a temporary worker. How to communicate it?

I contracted a temporary worker for two weeks, to cover vacations of another person. There is no contract, only a word agreement. His work is to cover a turn during the night, checking some systems ...
8
votes
2answers
395 views

How to tell a patient I don’t want to discuss a personal detail?

I work an introductory job as a technician in a busy hospital. I manage equipment, conduct various tests on patients, and record information I obtain. Because I’m directly working with the patients, ...
5
votes
2answers
560 views

How to ask primary roommate not to share key to my room with other people?

I live in a shared house and one of the roommates has the lease to the place. With is permission, I put a lock on my bedroom door. He then insisted I give him a key. I had hid a key for him to use, ...
4
votes
4answers
914 views

How to evade request to sit somewhere uncomfortable?

Background I was invited to my friend’s flat the other day to enjoy an infrequent visit. It isn’t often I spend time with her, so this was a special occasion. Her flat isn’t exactly high-end and is ...
1
vote
3answers
347 views

How to introduce change in a process while avoiding conflict?

I'm a 23-years-old Q&A engineer who recently started a job in a company who never had Q&A before. The other day, I was talking with my chief and the chiefs of the development team and told ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How to avoid being kissed by someone with braces?

Situation I have recently found myself in a position where someone I am attracted to has tried to kiss me. The only problem I really have with this— their braces. I quickly brushed them off before ...
7
votes
2answers
674 views

Told you are wrong when you aren't by a boss

A long time ago I worked for a chef who would ask questions as teaching moments frequently. This is something I have seen a lot of chefs do, and I have done it myself. Something like: I need you to ...
4
votes
4answers
704 views

How to decline food without sounding picky

My spouse has food sensitivities to things my parents frequently cook including tomatoes and nuts. These sensitivities don't put them into shock, but do cause sensations of pain and discomfort. In a ...
-1
votes
5answers
1k views

Tactfully telling my cousin that she might do too many of the chores in her household

My cousin is a wonderful person, she is a feminist, ecologist, etc.. activist, she cares a lot about people and I really love her (I see her and her family ~once a month for the weekend and I spend ...
3
votes
4answers
891 views

How to say I will not be participating in the current system of sharing costs (because I don't think it's fair), when people are easily offended?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. The house used to be a kind of community house for (where people would eat dinner together and roommates are found through the church). I'm not religious ...
4
votes
6answers
1k views

“But you don't look autistic” isn't a nice thing to say

"But you don't look autistic" (meaning: "you don't behave like an autistic person") is a sentence that a lot of neurotypical people (NT) say to people on the autistic spectrum (usually just after the ...
3
votes
2answers
935 views

How do I set the boundaries I’m not ok with how someone is speaking to me? [closed]

I live in a shared household. I was speaking with someone, call him Bob, in the kitchen. I needed to speak with another roommate, call him Dylan, and asked Bob which room he lives in (Dylan moved in ...
6
votes
1answer
279 views

How can I correct text of another person during a chat without being pedant or making fun of the other person?

A written chat is not a good channel of communication for no verbal language, hence, is quite easy to make mistakes because each side might add different context to the sentences. This might cause ...
8
votes
4answers
937 views

How can I get a drunk person to understand that I don't want to talk to them?

Today I was busing coding/programming in a bar/pub, had my headphones in (as I always do), trying to concentrate on my work. Around 2 PM an obviously-drunk man walks in and orders a beer, then starts ...
5
votes
2answers
792 views

How can I ask my brother to stop saying “future sister in law” when referring to his girl of interest?

My older brother has a habit of cheerfully saying "sister in law?" to me when he gets excited about a girl he's talking to- currently he is engaged for the second time but still says "your future ...
7
votes
1answer
721 views

How to make my girl buy me gifts without sounding needy?

I've been with this girl for 2 years now. Got to say it's been great for me because I actually love her and I have a feeling she does reciprocate those same sentiments. We moved in together at the end ...
3
votes
1answer
748 views

Girlfriend say “yes” but doesn't do it

I'm in a long-distance relationship, fortunately we have plans to put an end to the long-distance. However something really bugs me, namely how whenever I ask something she says "yes sure I'm doing it ...
11
votes
5answers
920 views

Dealing With Unwanted, Repeated, Public Advances

TL;DR Meghan, a member of a close friend group, is pushing me to attend an event with her via repeated, public statements. I find these confusing, distracting, and would like them to stop, with ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I effectively talk to my lover about her relationship?

Background Since probably 6 months ago, I've been dating with a girl (let's call her Emilia) who has BF, (we are in our mid twenties, both from USA) and she told that me since the beginning and I ...
12
votes
2answers
760 views

How do I share I don't wish to be a part of the superstition without insulting anyone?

Quite a big life event happened in my family recently, causing some conversation about a family curse to come up. My niece and nephew brought this old tale up again, and my mom seems to highly believe ...
1
vote
2answers
648 views

My roommate cheats at jeopardy. How do I respond? [duplicate]

Context For the past few months, my roommates and I have been watching Jeopardy when we all get home at night as a fun activity. Whenever one of us knows an answer, they try to yell it out before the ...
8
votes
1answer
474 views

How to ask the parent of a child I tutor to be less hands on during our lessons?

I have been tutoring French for a very long time, this is the first time I have had a parent who sits at the table with me and their child. During the entire lesson they are interrupting by trying to ...
10
votes
3answers
593 views

How do I use body language to indicate that I am thinking?

My Problem When people give me large amounts of information, I will take plenty of time to process it before giving a response. The amount of time I take usually ranges from 30 seconds to a few ...
18
votes
3answers
940 views

How to politely tell my girlfriend that I want to live on my own for some time

Background I am 24 and my girlfriend is 25, we have been dating for 4 years now. She is from a smaller town, moved to the city for study about 6 years ago, I've been living here for my whole life. ...
5
votes
3answers
462 views

How do I get my flat mate to clean up after herself?

I can't live with this situation any more. Every Morning I enter the kitchen there is a huge mess. Dirty pots, plates and food leftovers. I am really not that fussy but I appreciate a general ...
7
votes
7answers
1k views

How to not be “this annoying nitpicking Quality Engineer”?

I am a 23-year-old woman who was hired 2 weeks ago. As a Q&A engineer, I have to ask developers to change the way they are coding in order to improve the code's quality, maintainability, and ...
6
votes
3answers
950 views

How to voice my disapointment with my adult daughter's choice to own a fur-trimmed coat, without having a dispute?

My 24 year-old daughter lives apart from me with her father. A year ago she bought an expensive coyote fur-trimmed Canada Goose brand coat, knowing that it was coyote fur. At the time, I was unaware ...
3
votes
1answer
722 views

Is this a known Interpersonal “Anti-Skill”, if avoided could de-escalate conflict—or could it be original? I call it “barking” [closed]

I found a bad habit in my conversations. When I stopped doing it myself and became aware of it in others, tensions relaxed and conflict de-escalated. Everything I'm asserting is from my experience: ...
5
votes
4answers
864 views

How can I reject a second date idea without ruining the potential for a relationship?

I've had one date with a girl and we both agreed that we had a lot of fun. A second date was set up, but no plans were made. She just told me that her friend asked us to go to dinner, a bar, and a ...
2
votes
5answers
890 views

How do I politely ask the staff at my gym how long it will be before I can use the shower?

I'm male, and I often work out at around the time where the staff at my gym is cleaning the showers. They aren't doing it at a specific time, so I can't plan my way out of it. When it's female staff ...
11
votes
2answers
596 views

How to politely deal with strangers who aggressively hand out religious tracts or preach to you seemingly out of nowhere?

This question is not being posted to get into a religion or freedom of speech debate, but rather present the idea that regardless of religious beliefs, aggressive and pushy behavior wrapped in the ...
21
votes
2answers
1k views

How to get my wife to accept bisexuality before our daughter comes out of the closet?

My oldest daughter is 19 and told me last halloween that she's bi. My daughter is amazingly high functioning (mentally, socially, even professionally) but is living at home at the moment because ...
0
votes
4answers
527 views

How to tell someone I won't do their work

I'm in a situation I don't really know how to handle. I'm a student at university and one of my class mates decided to study way too many things at the same time so she doesn't show up to many of ...
1
vote
2answers
375 views

Calming a friend with an anger issue in a competitive environment

I like to play a certain video game competitively and I've met a lot of friends by doing so. We usually have the same groups at local tournaments, so I've gotten to know these people enough to call ...
1
vote
1answer
653 views

How to tell my parents I want to live in another city and ask them for their support

Background My parents want me and my fiance to move in city A My fiance and I want to live in city B I'm financially dependent on my parents, so they have the upper hand. Not totally dependent, but I ...
15
votes
4answers
2k views

We moved together unexpectedly and early. How do I approach my boyfriend about arising problems?

Current Situation My boyfriend of 5 months is currently living with me in my aparment. He moved in about 2.5 months ago, because he was kicked out by his roommate with a 2 week notice and completely ...
8
votes
2answers
573 views

A stranger on the street accidentaly dropped their wallet: if and how may I point it out to them?

While walking down the street I noticed another pedestrian, who was ahead of me, accidentally dropping his wallet. I did not stare at this wallet, of course, but it wasn't hard to notice that it ...
4
votes
3answers
1k views

How to tell the leaseholder I won't cover a kicked-out roommates rent

Last month I moved into a shared house. There are 6 people living here. The primary leaseholder told me he had told another tenant to move out because he was always late on the rent. I never met this ...
13
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell a family member they are not to have unsupervised time with your child

My wife and I are struggling with a situation involving her sister. Let's call her Suzy. Suzy is an alcoholic/drug addict and is in a relationship with another alcoholic and physically abusive man, ...
11
votes
2answers
648 views

How to tell a friend that she is too loud when she speaks without offending?

My partner and I hang out with another couple. We share many interests, have children of the same age, and are fairly compatible in many aspects. So all is fine for spending several hours together ...
10
votes
2answers
730 views

How do I tell my friend that she is, indeed, rude?

My friend recently texted me asking if she's mean to people and/or a bully, explaining to me that people at work told her she was. Unfortunately, she has a handful of negative characteristics and a ...
8
votes
5answers
760 views

How do I defend my role in a situation, when the person who caused it is part of the conversation?

I've been in a situation like this a handful of times. I'll provide an example: In a competative online gaming group, one other person and I were responsible for a particular task (role). Because of ...
4
votes
2answers
508 views

How to avoid an argument over the phone with my girlfriend

Context I've been dating my girlfriend for the last year, but we became officially a couple 3 months ago, I'm 28 and she is 21. We do not live together and we see each other usually twice a week. ...
3
votes
3answers
601 views

How to deal with confrontational contractor who does not adequately do their job?

I hired a contractor to redo my backyard. The ensuing project was a battle every step of the way. The work needed to be checked nightly; he cut every possible corner; he took 2 months to complete a ...
11
votes
4answers
1k views

Roommate on my wifi

I'm living in an apartment with a roommate. When they first moved in they didn't have a router and therefore could not connect to the internet. I offered to let them connect to my wifi until they were ...
2
votes
0answers
165 views

Would it be appropriate to tell my neighbor's kids to quiet down when their parents are not at home? [closed]

For the past ten years, I have been living next door to a family with four kids and both of the parents work. They usually get home from work around 6:00pm on the weekdays. Their four kids are latch-...
67
votes
9answers
25k views

How to tell a close friend they've been cheated on when the cheater is my good friend

Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective). I have two close friends, Bobby and Sarah, that I met together almost 3 ...