Podcast #128: We chat with Kent C Dodds about why he loves React and discuss what life was like in the dark days before Git. Listen now.

Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

Filter by
Sorted by
Tagged with
8
votes
1answer
457 views

How to gently ask my neighbor not to use my bins for their waste?

In the past months, there were several occasions when I found foreign waste in my personal bins. I cannot say, that was my neighbor for sure as I never saw anyone. But the waste type and content made ...
40
votes
4answers
22k views

Two people from small group of friends want to have a “meeting” with me. The circumstances are strange and give me a bad feeling

I have a small group of friends that get together and hangout. Usually we hangout on Fridays. We usually go to the same person's home. One person from this group (call him Bob) contacted me. He said ...
20
votes
3answers
5k views

How to ask someone about something without accusing them [closed]

I would like to know how to ask someone about something without accusing them. If I want to know if someone at work has used my computer, can I ask "Have you used my computer?", without insulting ...
7
votes
2answers
837 views

How can I handle someone railroading conversations?

So I have a few fairly new friends. Most are very quiet and shy except for one person who is super confident, friendly and LOUD... lets call her Lucy. The other day the 6 of us had a barbecue where ...
1
vote
0answers
213 views

How to deal with vaping coworkers? [closed]

To sum up the context: office of less than 10 people 2 coworkers vaping vaping at work (inside) is forbidden by the law It didn't bother me that much (although sometimes the scent of the aroma is a ...
4
votes
1answer
467 views

How to Resolve Underlying Tension with my Best Friend

I have a friend, that we'll call Alex, who I've been friends with for years. He's a good guy and our relationship is generally pretty good, but over the past few years there's been a kind of ...
14
votes
2answers
1k views

How to warn father about catfishing scams?

Due to my father's browser sloppiness, and in spite of my efforts to NOT see what he's doing, I know he is on dating sites talking to women. I was fixing something for him when a chat window popped up,...
4
votes
1answer
524 views

How can I approach the situation where I feel I’m neglected?

I’m the youngest child out of three and I’ve felt passive and alone most of the time since I was a kid. My oldest siblings were and are closer to each other (now even physically since I’m abroad). ...
8
votes
1answer
945 views

How to talk to my landlord about a playmate of his daughter stressing me?

Background So I am living in a 3 party house, which was a generation house before 1 flat got free like 2 years ago and I moved in half a year ago (Might be relevant). My landlord and his wife live ...
7
votes
1answer
547 views

Communicating to a close friend that I don't feel valued or respected at times

I have a close female friend who I've known for a few years. We've been through thick and thin together, and have always been able to be open and honest in many different situations. For example, she ...
6
votes
1answer
337 views

Managing visitors to a terminally ill person

One of my parents, A, is going through the last months of cancer. They are forced in bed at home and constantly taking painkillers to manage the pain. When relatives and friends come to visit, there ...
8
votes
1answer
709 views

Giving feedback to someone behaving impolitely

I live in an urban area where there are not enough parking spaces for all the apartments, so residents need to use street parking. Street parking space is scarce and coveted. There's a guy on our ...
19
votes
2answers
2k views

How to stop people from assuming I am female on the telephone?

Despite being male (both genetically and self-identified), I sound like, as a friend once stated, "an 8 year old girl". My voice is very high pitched and child-like due to brain cancer. This is ...
51
votes
4answers
21k views

How do I get my boyfriend to remove pictures of his ex girlfriend hanging in his apartment?

Background Information: We have been together for 2.5 years. We do not live together, but visit each others apartments around 5 times a week. He is in his early 30s and I am in my mid 20s. We live in ...
19
votes
3answers
2k views

Negative feedbacks and “Language smoother”

I don't know what is the "scientific" term for that but I noticed that, when people give negative feedback, they sometimes use "tricks" to make their words less harsh. For example, they will use ...
6
votes
5answers
939 views

How can I tell a friend about a future trip without upsetting another friend, who wants me to hold the truth about it?

Soon, I'll be going on a trip for one weekend; "Friend B", who is planning this trip, wants to exclude "Friend A" who will likely ask me sometime during the trip what I'm up to. "Friend B" reiterated ...
8
votes
3answers
818 views

How to talk to coworker about loud outbursts

My desk at work is in a small room shared with two other coworkers, let's call them Alice and Bob. Alice is in general a loud and outspoken / opinionated person, but doesn't talk much to either of us ...
50
votes
7answers
18k views

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

I live in a big city (in Paris, France) and take public transportation every day. I'm perceived as a woman and I will sometimes have to sit near people who spread out and take up more space than just ...
4
votes
1answer
673 views

How can I tell my two roommates separately that I’m moving out?

Some background information: I’m international and I currently live with two American humans (let’s call them A & B - I’ve known A for a while, but I don’t know B very well; they’re friends.) in ...
43
votes
5answers
17k views

How do I politely hint to customers to leave my store, without pretending to need to leave myself?

I own a small gelato juice bar with a piddling number of seats for customers. I'm working alone right now; my employees returned to school and I haven't hired yet. Too frequently, after buying and ...
32
votes
7answers
8k views

Friend is very nitpicky about side comments I don't intend to be taken too seriously

I have a close friend who seems to hyper-analyze some things I say and gets upset with things he thinks I didn't give much thought to. One example is: we were hanging out and talking about card ...
80
votes
9answers
21k views

How do I stop making people jump at home and at work?

I make a lot of people jump when I enter the room or try to get their attention. I am not sure what exactly I am doing wrong, but I would like to stop it so I am looking for suggestions. I have had a ...
1
vote
0answers
182 views

How to approach someone one likes and how to get to know them well? [closed]

How to approach; also how does the way that the approach in itself is organised differ depending on the location the person was met? As for approach I mean something between these lines Speak to (...
2
votes
0answers
196 views

Telling my neighbors to not blow his weedy lawn clippings onto my newly mowed lawn [closed]

I have new neighbors who are apparently not well versed in mowing their lawn, or neighborly manners. When they first moved in, they did not have a working mower, only a very old push mower. After ...
2
votes
2answers
558 views

How to talk about what religious denomination you belong to without making the person uncomfortable?

I recently came into contact with some close relatives (my paternal grandparents) that I've never met and we've been talking on the phone and over email for a month or so. I sent them pictures of my ...
6
votes
1answer
480 views

How do you politely respond to people who ask too many obvious questions?

I really like helping people and I don't mind helping others with work and assignments etc. However, there are a few people who will take it very far and I've come across this a few times. For ...
5
votes
1answer
716 views

How to ask a noisy housemate to be quieter?

I've lived in an apartment with my two housemates for 10 months. One housemate is not very problematic. The other, however, has become very noisy within the past few months. Ever since summer has ...
2
votes
2answers
577 views

Asking a coworker to chitchat somewhere else

Background I work in an open space and people there chitchat fairly often. I do it, my coworkers do it and everyone is fine with that (even if it can be a bit annoying IMO). Today, one of my ...
15
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I approach telling guests not to overstay their welcome?

I had a game night last night and two of my sister's friends came and played, one is male and 20, call him B, and the other is a female ~18 years old, call her L. When my husband was finishing his ...
1
vote
0answers
261 views

How to deal with unreasonable neighbours whose landlord doesn't care? [closed]

We own our own house in a nice quiet residential area, about 100 houses, mostly young families, about 60% owner-occupier. There is no assigned parking, but the management company agreement we all ...
6
votes
3answers
888 views

How can I talk about positive circumstances in my life without hurting coworkers who are in the opposite situation?

Several times in the past, I've had a bit of good news which I'd like to share at work (or at least not actively hide). The issue is that often, a colleague is struggling in the same domain. I know ...
16
votes
1answer
1k views

How to help my child come out as a trans woman to extended family?

My daughter was brave enough to come out to us that she is a woman. That story is on Parenting SE. My daughter would like to come out to the extended family well before the holidays so that people ...
8
votes
1answer
638 views

How to make aware co worker about their parking skills?

I work in a MNC (Multi national company) in a populated city where having a car is necessary for transport purposes and daily commute. Question How can I tell/make aware a coworker (who is not in ...
12
votes
1answer
816 views

How to communicate to my spouse I can't stand unexpected touch without hurting their feelings?

TL;DR I've recently learned about my autism and still need to understand what it means. I have struggle being touched when I don't expect it and it hurts my spouse when I already tried to explain to ...
2
votes
0answers
238 views

How can I refuse a dinner with my relatives? [closed]

I have never been close to one of my relatives. The only living thing I like is my dog. We are having dinner tomorrow with a bunch of relatives and friends. My dad will pick me up at 7 pm but I don'...
71
votes
6answers
15k views

How do I tell my girlfriend she's been buying me books by the wrong author for the last nine months?

Help! For the last nine months my girlfriend has been buying me books by the wrong author, fully believing that she's treating me to work by my favourite writer (who incidentally she believes is a ...
11
votes
1answer
703 views

How can I end interactions with a stranger after a conversation has turned bad?

The situation Last night I went to a bar after work to meet a friend to have a beer and catch up. There was a man "James" sitting next to us at the bar who had clearly taken an interest in our ...
-1
votes
1answer
329 views

How to avoid people who always see negative side of everything [closed]

I noticed some people around me try to pick on things which I cannot do or have, e.g. if your car is manual, why is it manual? why not automatic? or you should have taken direction from us ...
5
votes
2answers
343 views

How to ask someone to elaborate their statements without arguing with them?

It has happened many times to me. Also, but not exclusively, on *.stackexchange sites. Someone makes a statement. Often, but not always, they do this as a response to a question I asked. What they ...
10
votes
5answers
3k views

How to reply to small talk/random facts in a non-offensive way?

I've discovered that when I have a conversation with someone, I sometimes answer in a somehow offensive way. For example: Person: I just read that actor is born in town X. Me: So what? You're ...
8
votes
4answers
685 views

How can I tell a coworker I carpool with to drive more safely?

I'm at a fairly new job, and for transport, I'm carpooling with a coworker of mine, who owns a car. I've noticed that this coworker tends to drive rather unsafely. I've first noticed them rolling ...
14
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I stop my niece with developmental disorder from sitting behind my juice bar?

I own a small juice bar, with two seats behind the counter for me and my employees, and a piddling number of seats for customers that are usually occupied. My brother has genetic disorders and his ...
-4
votes
2answers
815 views

How to communicate to my wife the same thing which I already repeated her 100 times? [closed]

To give the cultural context, I am from South India and married for 15+ years. Ever since the beginning of our marriage, I keep saying the following items repeatedly to her ( let's call her Mohini). ...
12
votes
1answer
2k views

How do I avoid an interaction with an employee at the grocery store escalating to the store manager?

I live in the Netherlands. I am an immigrant of North African descent, and Muslim by faith. Yesterday I walked into a major grocery store. I was very angry and stressed for other reasons. In this ...
6
votes
1answer
878 views

How to approach boundary setting when family composition changes?

My wife's sister is very close to our family, and over the course of the last few years, it's become a common practice for her to do her laundry at our house. I don't generally mind this, my wife ...
11
votes
1answer
899 views

How do I deal with a friend group that I fear is making its more successful member upset?

I'm one of a close group of friends, we'll call them A, B, C, D, E and F. All of us are middle-aged. Of those, A (which is not me) is quite successful; he has his own home and family, a property ...
6
votes
2answers
529 views

Confront mentor on unwarranted remark

My meditation mentor is convinced that I do not practice at home, while, in truth, I do practice regularly. Her argument is that, in her eyes, I have not improved my attention span, nor my ...
18
votes
6answers
10k views

How to let other coworkers know that I don't share my coworker's political views?

Background Today, I was in my workplace kitchen where I was having lunch. There were other coworkers having lunch there too. One of them (let's call him Bob) was talking about political stuff and ...
2
votes
1answer
498 views

How to decline giving details about my previous doctor's opinion when transitioning between two doctors?

I take a potentially toxic drug that is interacting with another drug (i.e. this is a high stakes situation). I am not happy with my current doctor's proposed method of addressing this interaction ...
1
vote
1answer
615 views

Someone else using my cooler without my permission

This might be very intuitive for someone to suggest me to ask him to put it back. But please hold on. I live in a hostel and changed room to the next room which had a cooler already (owned by my new ...