Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

4
votes
2answers
214 views

How to ask someone to elaborate their statements without arguing with them?

It has happened many times to me. Also, but not exclusively, on *.stackexchange sites. Someone makes a statement. Often, but not always, they do this as a response to a question I asked. What they ...
0
votes
0answers
135 views

Dealing with a narcissist who offers a lot of unsolicited advice to people out of his league [on hold]

Some brief backstory: Maybe I'm the issue. So, I have a friend who has a severe god complex and has gotten into this habit of thinking everyone else as a fool and condescends in very discrete ways. I, ...
9
votes
5answers
2k views

How to reply to small talk/random facts in a non-offensive way?

I've discovered that when I have a conversation with someone, I sometimes answer in a somehow offensive way. For example: Person: I just read that actor is born in town X. Me: So what? You're ...
7
votes
4answers
565 views

How can I tell a coworker I carpool with to drive more safely?

I'm at a fairly new job, and for transport, I'm carpooling with a coworker of mine, who owns a car. I've noticed that this coworker tends to drive rather unsafely. I've first noticed them rolling ...
0
votes
0answers
103 views

How to act when you think your way is better and it is but the other person shouldn't be made to feel less? [closed]

Suppose you wanted to make a contribution to someone, in some form, and would like things to go your own way and things to be the way you imagine them, but someone else opposes themselves? Suppose ...
8
votes
0answers
804 views

How can I stop my niece with developmental disorder from sitting behind my juice bar?

I own a small juice bar, with two seats behind the counter for me and my employees, and a piddling number of seats for customers that are usually occupied. My brother has genetic disorders and his ...
-3
votes
2answers
649 views

How to communicate to my wife the same thing which I already repeated her 100 times? [closed]

To give the cultural context, I am from South India and married for 15+ years. Ever since the beginning of our marriage, I keep saying the following items repeatedly to her ( let's call her Mohini). ...
12
votes
1answer
1k views

How do I avoid an interaction with an employee at the grocery store escalating to the store manager?

I live in the Netherlands. I am an immigrant of North African descent, and Muslim by faith. Yesterday I walked into a major grocery store. I was very angry and stressed for other reasons. In this ...
4
votes
0answers
481 views

How to approach boundary setting when family composition changes?

My wife's sister is very close to our family, and over the course of the last few years, it's become a common practice for her to do her laundry at our house. I don't generally mind this, my wife ...
11
votes
1answer
829 views

How do I deal with a friend group that I fear is making its more successful member upset?

I'm one of a close group of friends, we'll call them A, B, C, D, E and F. All of us are middle-aged. Of those, A (which is not me) is quite successful; he has his own home and family, a property ...
6
votes
2answers
498 views

Confront mentor on unwarranted remark

My meditation mentor is convinced that I do not practice at home, while, in truth, I do practice regularly. Her argument is that, in her eyes, I have not improved my attention span, nor my ...
18
votes
6answers
10k views

How to let other coworkers know that I don't share my coworker's political views?

Background Today, I was in my workplace kitchen where I was having lunch. There were other coworkers having lunch there too. One of them (let's call him Bob) was talking about political stuff and ...
1
vote
0answers
242 views

How to decline giving details about my previous doctor's opinion when transitioning between two doctors?

I take a potentially toxic drug that is interacting with another drug (i.e. this is a high stakes situation). I am not happy with my current doctor's proposed method of addressing this interaction ...
1
vote
1answer
554 views

Someone else using my cooler without my permission

This might be very intuitive for someone to suggest me to ask him to put it back. But please hold on. I live in a hostel and changed room to the next room which had a cooler already (owned by my new ...
6
votes
0answers
770 views

How can I avoid lending my bike?

There's this kid I've been riding with for quite some time that keeps borrowing my bike non-stop leaving me riding his broken bike. Not that I dislike him riding my bike or anything, is just that ...
8
votes
2answers
979 views

How to motivate my lazy partner towards self improvement?

Background: I am 23, partner is 21. Been together for 4 years. We just moved in together a month ago while I am working abroad for a few months, to have a "trial" period of whether we're good ...
0
votes
2answers
1k views

Asking my sister to show less display of affection to her SO in public

Background I've always had a pretty great relationship with my sister. I would say that, growing up, we've been best friends, a lot of our close friends are mutual friends, we've been on holiday ...
4
votes
1answer
359 views

How to politely turn down an offer from someone to join a pyramid scheme? [duplicate]

My girlfriend and I went out to eat with an acquaintance of hers and his wife. They were really nice people, but at the end of the dinner date, they brought up a known pyramid scheme that they're a ...
6
votes
1answer
582 views

How do I call out (tell him his behavior is unacceptable) a narcissistic father?

TL;DR: I want to communicate to my narcissistic father that it is unacceptable that he is attempting to blackmail my sister. Refer to my past questions for more information regarding my father and ...
4
votes
2answers
739 views

How do I inform my overprotective mother that my girlfriend isn't a distraction?

... And that she really isn't how my mother sees her? I have a girlfriend whom I love very much, we've been going out for quite some time but we kept our relationship a secret from my parents. My ...
2
votes
1answer
148 views

When is it good to argue with someone vs ignoring them? [closed]

When should you express your disagreement versus ignoring the person? I have a flat mate who is very bossy. He was telling me not to use the back door as it's only used for emergencies. He's not the ...
4
votes
1answer
492 views

Politely declining a request to use my railway card to get a ticket when the person has to stand in the queue

Background: I'm from India. In our railways, we have multiple ways of booking tickets, one of them being the regular way (stand in the queue) and the other, a card which lets you get your ticket ...
8
votes
1answer
519 views

Handling boss who doesn't pays salary on time

Asking this mainly for my wife, not myself. I'm also affected by it since we live together. Please note that I'm NOT asking for legal advice. Legally I would know how to proceed, unfortunately, it's ...
8
votes
1answer
904 views

How can I ask my girlfriend to accept my choice of charity to support?

I support a charity based in my country that helps people escape a specific oppressive government and relocate to other countries as refugees. If I'm being completely honest, I don't really know why I ...
13
votes
3answers
874 views

How to handle someone who takes over and derails meetings?

Background I'm a software developer and recently the product owner on my team has been intermittently absent. Her direct boss "Joe" has started attending some of our meetings that she can't make it ...
10
votes
1answer
852 views

How to approach a person that does not respond to me after I was potentially rude to them?

I am an 18-year-old German, I live in a small (~100 citizens) town neighboring a somewhat bigger (~2000 citizens) town. We have our own small local fire-station but we do not do regular training. To ...
5
votes
1answer
984 views

How can I break up with my girlfriend in the kindest way? [duplicate]

I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and she moved in with me about 2 months ago. Outwardly to my friends and family she is very sweet and kind, but they only know the person she appears to be. ...
3
votes
3answers
1k views

How to talk with a girl about the fact that she keeps standing me up?

I'm interested in a girl in my circle of friends. We know each other as friends, but I decided to try a bit harder to see how far I can go. The first thing I did was talked with her the whole night ...
12
votes
4answers
846 views

How to make a proper, harmless April Fools' joke?

From Wikipedia: April Fools' Day or April Fool's Day (sometimes called All Fools' Day) is an annual celebration commemorated on April 1 by playing practical jokes and spreading hoaxes. The jokes ...
18
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I diplomatically get someone to hurry up and make a trivial decision?

This question was initially triggered by an incident with a houseguest a few months ago. Earlier in the day, he was tossing up whether to join a group of us who were going out for a drink in the ...
8
votes
1answer
757 views

How to say no to a family member who wants to drive the car

I am a very introverted kind of person and don't argue with others. Sometimes it feels like some people just do not know how and where to stop with me. I have a car and there are some people in my ...
3
votes
2answers
688 views

How to stop reoccuring conflict in family home

Context: I am an early 20's British Male. I moved home after University and am suffering from somewhat severe depression. As I got towards graduating, my mother suggested I moved home instead of ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How to open up a conversation with an SO about a possibly inappropriate action?

My husband and I are both white. My husband recently asked a black woman if he could touch her hair. She said yes, and he was delighted. This woman works at a gas station we frequent, so we have seen ...
4
votes
1answer
386 views

Responding to half sister about biological father not returning her messages

I'm asking this on behalf of my partner, as he's asked me to help him respond to his half sister. Background: They both share a father. My partner was not brought up by his biological father and ...
4
votes
2answers
537 views

How to ask my friend to stop blaming me for everything bad that happens to him?

I have a friend who blames me for everything bad that happens to him. If he can't find his things, he assumes that I stole it. If he trips or if someone hits him, he blames me. Recently, this is ...
1
vote
1answer
532 views

How can I stop restaurant cashiers from putting their hands on the rim of my cup?

Whenever I go out to eat at a fast food restaurant or cafeteria, I order a drink. The drink comes in a paper cup, which is located behind the counter. The cashier hands me the paper cup, holding it by ...
9
votes
3answers
731 views

How to tell my friend's mom to stop bothering me about not going to church?

As of recent, I have become less and less involved and active in my religious community; especially my church. There's many reasons for it, but the main ones are: Negative stigma given when doing ...
13
votes
1answer
867 views

How can I lay out my reasons to my girlfriend for why we shouldn't get married?

My girlfriend isn't a citizen of the US and I am. We've also have only been dating for 4 months. So when we first started dating she said that if I wasn't ready for commitment in the range of 1-3 ...
8
votes
1answer
734 views

How do I tell my gf to stop guilting me that I don't love her enough?

My gf and I have been together for several months and recently moved in with each other. To clarify, she moved into my apartment. I have a high paying job, in fact I make quite a bit more than her, ...
11
votes
4answers
833 views

Telling parents that it's okay if their child doesn't kiss me

I have cousins who both have children. Whenever we see each other, my cousins always told their children to "go kiss Ælis" but the children are sometimes reluctant to kiss me (which I can understand). ...
5
votes
2answers
609 views

How to tell beginner pickleball player they shouldn't play?

Often a lower level pickleball player will come to a day set aside for advanced players. (Pickleball has 4 people on a court &usually played at community centers.) It seems if I am nice to them ...
2
votes
1answer
536 views

How to insist roommate provides me with proof of utilities bill?

I live in a shared house with several other people. One of them (call him Bob) signed the master lease with the owner and his name is on all the utilities. I pay Bob rent and my utilities. I have a ...
4
votes
3answers
253 views

How to invite my band-members/coworkers to give me feedback on my performance?

I recently joined a music band that's composed of four colleagues with who I don't work (different projects & teams), but I know them well since we have lunch and banter next to the watercooler ...
1
vote
2answers
922 views

Leaseholder suddenly increased everyone's rent, saying when he renewed lease with owner, they increased it

I live in a shared household. One person signed the lease with the owner and we pay him money for rent. He gave postdated checks to the owner. The lease recently was up for renewal and the owner ...
7
votes
2answers
555 views

How can I tell my friend to chill out?

I have a friend (we'll call them Dallas) who gets frustrated very easily. Not mad, perhaps, but frustrated and short-tempered as a result of some minor incident. A recent example is that we went to a ...
2
votes
2answers
1k views

Telling my cousin that she might want to learn more about cultural appropriation

The other day, I was at my cousin’s home and her daughter was dressed up like "an Indian" (her word to designate a Native American "traditional" outfit). This made me uncomfortable as I was afraid ...
2
votes
2answers
458 views

How to communicate with sensitive roommates accusing me of passive-aggression?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. I really like it here, but as per previous questions there's been some conflicts regarding the rules and expectations of other roommates. I worked really ...
6
votes
3answers
711 views

How to tell people to stop aggrandizing my allergies?

Background I’m a special li’l’ person in that I’m allergic to a lot of foods. This includes... All types of nuts Milk, eggs, cheese; all dairy products Avocado... especially on toast :( Gluten Only ...
4
votes
1answer
524 views

I have to sack a temporary worker. How to communicate it?

I contracted a temporary worker for two weeks, to cover vacations of another person. There is no contract, only a word agreement. His work is to cover a turn during the night, checking some systems ...
8
votes
2answers
484 views

How to tell a patient I don’t want to discuss a personal detail?

I work an introductory job as a technician in a busy hospital. I manage equipment, conduct various tests on patients, and record information I obtain. Because I’m directly working with the patients, ...