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Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

2
votes
0answers
138 views

Would it be appropriate to tell my neighbor's kids to quiet down when their parents are not at home? [closed]

For the past ten years, I have been living next door to a family with four kids and both of the parents work. They usually get home from work around 6:00pm on the weekdays. Their four kids are latch-...
66
votes
9answers
25k views

How to tell a close friend they've been cheated on when the cheater is my good friend

Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective). I have two close friends, Bobby and Sarah, that I met together almost 3 ...
0
votes
2answers
351 views

How to deal with unreasonableness

My attitude is that one cannot reason with someone who, for whatever cause, is being unreasonable. If that party has got it into their head that they are right, even despite blatant contrary evidence, ...
1
vote
1answer
444 views

Is it unwise to attempt to anger other drivers who are exiting the highway? [closed]

There have been many times while driving on the highway when another car has suddenly cut into my lane in order to get over to the right-most lane so they can exit the highway, and I had to slam on ...
1
vote
1answer
137 views

How do I slow down and say what I feel as opposed to the first thing that comes to mind? [closed]

This may belong in a different SE site, but I wasn't sure which is the best one. Background: I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult last year. I'm still working on getting the correct amount of ...
2
votes
4answers
413 views

How can I practice dealing with conflict?

I'm extremely conflict avoidant. I am a peace-keeper in group situations because I hate watching people fight. When it involves me directly, I will do almost anything to push it off or avoid it. This ...
18
votes
2answers
965 views

How to suggest alternative music for my children to sing at my grandmother's religious funeral?

My religious maternal grandmother passed away recently and my mother is involved in planning the services which will be held at a chapel and presided over by the religious minister. My mother just ...
12
votes
6answers
1k views

Co-worker constantly thinks I'm slacking off

I work as the sole web developer in my department doing back end work. As I'm sure many of the developers here will attest to, a large portion of the time spent programming is spent on thinking how ...
3
votes
1answer
362 views

How to move forward from being bullied severely as freshman? [closed]

First of all,thanks for reading this extremely rambling question. This is a highly personal scenario I've wanted to get help with, and frankly couldn't work up the guts to talk to someone, not even my ...
1
vote
1answer
506 views

How to tell politely someone it's none of their business?

I was thinking of making this two separate questions but I think the two together are closely related and affect each other. I've had the experience a few times were someone is trying to get me to do ...
2
votes
2answers
2k views

How to handle students in a classroom who might have feelings for you?

I am in my early 30s, unmarried male. I teach engineering at a local university. Each of my classes have around 30 students. I try to treat everyone fairly. There are of course students who do not ...
5
votes
3answers
664 views

How do I tell someone I won't drive them anymore, when they have no car?

Background: To get a technical diploma I started to attend school last week again and will be there till may next year. I'm currently 22 yo and I'm generally a very agreeable person. The school is ...
2
votes
2answers
604 views

Instuctor wants me to pay for additional lessons before sign off; but didn't complete all hours of the course

I'm taking some mandatory motorcycle lessons (required before you can legally ride on the road). I've paid around $600 for these to the school the runs the course. The course (whose structure, ...
1
vote
0answers
444 views

How can I not be jealous of my spouse? [closed]

All my life, I've wanted to do a doctorate (PhD). Four times, I came really close to being accepted to a programme of study, but life got in the way. The first time, I had to move countries to take ...
4
votes
2answers
407 views

How to politely tell someone the post they shared is wrong/dangerous/bad advice? [duplicate]

There are many posts on social media that are a load of rubbish and just plain factually incorrect. They often end in “if you don’t share a fairy will die” or some such nonsense having bad luck. I ...
5
votes
6answers
2k views

How to explain to a friend I don't like them stopping talking to me due to a jealous friend/sexual partner?

Background I have a friend for almost three years now, we are both 24 y.o, we have always been so close and, even if we live far away from each other (+9000km), we have spoken every single day since ...
2
votes
0answers
310 views

How to deal with a frank speaking and overthinking guy [closed]

I am hanging with a group of friends all around 22 - 23 years old . One of us is sometimes having some anger and sadness at mixed times. It makes the group feel weird. To detail these crises: he ...
10
votes
5answers
968 views

How do I express to others to more quickly let me know about social mistakes I make?

I recently suffered a bit of a fallout in a teaching group I'm frequently a participant in. This was because I kept making brutally honest criticism about their style of teaching (e.g. "your teaching ...
8
votes
3answers
1k views

How to tell my fiancée's best friend we will marry on her 30th birthday?

My fiancée and I are getting married in fall next year. The location where we will marry has only two available dates and we have to pick one. One of the date is in mid-October where the weather is ...
63
votes
12answers
15k views

How to try to get my neighbour to park their car in their assigned spot?

Situation I live in an allotment with a shared parking with assigned spots. One of my neighbours always parks their car in front of the door of my building instead of in their assigned spot. They ...
10
votes
1answer
2k views

How to ask co-rider to share price for fuel?

I am talking about a close family friend - We travel daily on the same route almost during the same time, the other person has to travel about 8 kilometers more than me. So we decided to share the ...
0
votes
1answer
523 views

My new neighbours have very nicely requested something that I find unreasonable, how should I proceed? [closed]

Background: We recently moved to a new neighborhood and it's rather dark at night (not many street lights). Most neighbors leave outside house lights on at night. Issue: About a month after we ...
10
votes
2answers
992 views

How to stop unwanted advice about my pet?

Me and my partner have an indoor cat. She stays in our apartment except when we are away travelling, then we take her to my partner's parents to look after her until we get back (this happens 2-3 ...
88
votes
13answers
25k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to be my gym buddy without hurting her feelings?

I've recently started dating a girl and we're an item, and are happy hanging out together. We have strong feelings for each other. She is somewhat overweight (not hugely so but not at a healthy ...
87
votes
17answers
22k views

How to handle people blocking your view and breaking the rules at the theater by not sitting in their assigned seats?

A while ago, my parents/brothers and I went to visit a theatre performance (in The Netherlands, where we live). We booked really nice first class tickets with empty seats in front of us. We booked ...
3
votes
2answers
578 views

My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering

This woman bought the duplex we rent a couple months ago. We live in the upper, she lives in the lower. She and her girlfriend seem to sleep in the room directly below mine and I can often hear them ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

Declining to do exercises I think are unsafe without making a scene

I am part of a running group that meets every week. The running group is part of a large store, but is actually free (I think they do this for publicity and in hopes of people would buy things from ...
8
votes
5answers
1k views

How can I encourage my boyfriend to stand up to his friends?

Here's the situation: My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 1.5 years. At first, when I met his friends I liked them a lot, but as time has gone on I've noticed a side to their relationship ...
24
votes
3answers
8k views

How do I help my girlfriend get out of this dangerous situation with her parents? [closed]

Hello Interpersonal Stack Exchange, About two weeks ago I posted the question "How do I help my girlfriend defend herself against manipulative parents?". I recommend reading that one first as it ...
15
votes
1answer
2k views

Breaking up well

Long story short, my ex and I split on pretty poor terms a couple months ago. They cheated again, I moved out, and now they're moving in with the person they cheated with... I'm trying to "break up ...
6
votes
2answers
852 views

How to talk to my sister about not spending as much time with her?

Background: Growing up, I was always close with my sister because I spent a lot of time with her and told her everything. As I grew older and went to college, I began spending less time with her and ...
5
votes
1answer
511 views

How do I inform my neighbor about not cutting grass on my side of the lawn?

I know it's not a big deal for most, but I really do put a lot of effort into having a nice lawn, and our next door neighbour has done a few things that grind my gears, and I do not know how to ...
3
votes
4answers
757 views

How to establish boundaries in a friendship when the friend does not understand, while preserving mutual friend group

Background: I am a guy who has traveled quite a bit across the U.S. and made a lot of friends due to an organization that I am a part of (not work related). Last year I went to visit some of these ...
0
votes
0answers
63 views

How to tell somebody I am not interested in reading their novels [duplicate]

I have a good friend who I do not see very often as they live a few states away. We will plan time to hang out a few times a year. I really appreciate our friendship and want to hold onto it, as we ...
60
votes
5answers
14k views

Dealing with small crimes as a volunteer

Every now and then I volunteer for an association, organizing big role play events in my country (by big I mean several days with between several hundred people, so nothing at the national scale, but ...
71
votes
15answers
21k views

How to tactfully communicate with ex-boyfriend about my personal choices?

Background I recently broke up with a guy (let's call him Tom) that I had only been casually dating for a couple months. During this time, I had what I thought was simply a crush on a co-worker for a ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How to deal with someone who always feels treated disrespectfully?

I already asked this question before, and it was deleted for being off-topic (also because I did not check back for too long, and thus was unable to adjust my post according to the comments / the ...
32
votes
8answers
13k views

Reclaiming my desk fan when the office I lent it to is also really hot

I work in a mid sized company. Due to company policy, we're usually not allowed to have personal electronics at work (all electronics in the offices must be tested every year, it's a licensing / ...
2
votes
3answers
1k views

How to interact with someone whose close friend group seems to dislike you?

Here's the progression of events with me and this friend group: I met and dated a girl I met some of this girl's friends. I got along with them just fine. The girl wasn't romantically interested in ...
12
votes
4answers
1k views

How to avoid conflict refusing to honor kid naming traditions

I live in Eastern Europe and in my country we have a common practice of naming baby boys the same name as the father's father. While generally not an issue, I have entered a serious relationship and ...
18
votes
6answers
9k views

My boyfriend has issues with his parents, how do I support him without ending up in his parents bad books? [closed]

Some Background My boyfriend (bf) is 21, living at home. He is the youngest of three boys (his brothers are 29 and 23 respectively, neither of them are at home much). His parents are 54 (mom) and 65 (...
7
votes
3answers
826 views

How can I communicate that I am getting frustrated when people tell me their problems? [closed]

People like to tell me their problems, I'm not sure why, but everyone I know does it a lot. Such as friends, family and partner. The issue I have is that when they moan about something or tell me an ...
10
votes
1answer
561 views

How to tactfully turn down demands from a demanding friend?

I have a deaf-blind friend, and she is very sweet. Because she is deaf and blind, there are many restrictions on what she can and can't do, and she has a mitochondrial condition that causes her ...
7
votes
2answers
1k views

How to ask a friend to stop lying?

Context So I've been part of a very tight group of friends for more than a year now, and it feels like we're gonna be friends for a good while. We're all from 18 to 20 years old, and it's a mix of ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

I slapped my 8 year old cousin. What was a better way to handle the situation?

I am a 24 year old boy. My aunt was visiting our home. Her son is an eight year old. He is a most uncontrollable, hyperactive boy. For example, he will switch on the television, watch it from about ...
2
votes
1answer
632 views

How do I deal with coworkers messing with me because of my shyness?

I've worked at my job for over a year and I barely speak to anyone. I'm very much a loner and don't prefer socializing or interacting with others, I keep to myself. My other coworkers know this and ...
65
votes
7answers
27k views

How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people

Context I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., ...
62
votes
5answers
14k views

How can I explain to a friend's child that I don't like sleepovers without parents?

I have a female friend, whom I've been friends with for over 20 years. Her 12 year old boy (I'm his godfather) is very fascinated by my virtual reality gaming setup at home, and very often and very ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell an artist friend that their art has been getting worse if they think otherwise

Not long ago, a friend of mine got some rather harsh and even somewhat rude criticism, anonymously, that their art has been regressing for a while and that they're squandering all of their potential. ...
5
votes
4answers
521 views

How to Handle Judgmental Sibling

My older sibling always seems to judge me and undermine my interests and achievements. We both graduated from reputable universities in our respective fields (mine being technology and theirs being ...