Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

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1answer
270 views

How to say no to my brother while avoiding him thinking I no longer support him?

Background: My brother has a manipulative wife, which has essentially turned him against our mother. I want to keep the story short and won't go into too much detail. Essentially, his wife has ...
16
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5answers
5k views

How to encourage conversations beyond small talk with close friends

I had 2 friends in high school, and we were quite close. Then college life started, and we went to different colleges. One of them went to a college out of state. And so there was no physical contact ...
2
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2answers
558 views

How to ask a friend about their close relative who died (not recently)?

A group of my friends and I were sitting in our classroom waiting for the teacher to get there and start class. Two of my friends, Jim and Maddie, were talking to each other (and they were about the ...
41
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7answers
32k views

How can I ask my parents to stop calling me when I'm out or ask me where I'm going?

I'm 24 years old, have my own career, my own car but I live with my parents and my 2 younger brothers. I live my life quite independently. One of the problems I constantly face from my parents is ...
11
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2answers
1k views

How do I share I don't wish to be a part of the superstition without insulting anyone?

Quite a big life event happened in my family recently, causing some conversation about a family curse to come up. My niece and nephew brought this old tale up again, and my mom seems to highly believe ...
10
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1answer
822 views

How do I stop a person I am not interested in being friends with from contacting me?

There is a middle-aged Scandinavian educated chap (similar age) neighbour who befriended me (I am male too), even though I never wanted be anything more than neighbour or associate at best, but he is ...
107
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11answers
23k views

How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset?

A close family member of mine is a raw vegan, anti vaxer, anti-antibiotics, anti-fluoride, believes in chemtrails, has a machine that filters water and makes it alkaline, eats lots of supplements, ...
8
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3answers
749 views

How to let people face the consequences of their own actions, and at the same time avoid a negative reaction?

My parents are both great at this: I do something stupid and they can make me realize whatever follows is simply a consequence of my own stupidity. Their approach made me take responsibility for the ...
7
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2answers
1k views

How can I survive in a 'guess' culture?

Recently I read an article on 'ask' and 'guess' culture1, and it brought me a lot of clarity. It explains the reason behind many of the interpersonal conflicts that I faced during the past 10-20 years ...
6
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1answer
447 views

Why do I lose my temper more easily if one of my own has been wronged than if I'm the one that has been wronged?

Interpersonal conflicts inevitably happen in life, under one form or another. As I'm being confronted by more conflicts as I grow older, I keep learning how to react better. In conflicts where ...
17
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5answers
7k views

I sent an email about an urgent message, but want to call instead. How to correct?

Note: this is not a situation I am currently facing, but I have faced in the recent past. I apologized afterwards, which helped, but I'd rather learn how to fix the problem before it even occurs. My ...
3
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0answers
178 views

How do I get my friend to stop singing along when I'm trying to listen to the music? [closed]

I have a friend who has an absolute tin ear... could not carry a tune to save her life. But she is a genius with lyrics. Because of this, she loves to sing along to things. It is almost as if she is ...
6
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2answers
436 views

How to ask for autonomy without coming across as rejecting?

I have been living with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we have an overall great relationship. I work and he's currently unemployed. I used to ask him small services and be happy when he'd take ...
4
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1answer
477 views

How to deal with an egoistic friend who only talks politics and religion?

I'm 27 M (living in India). I have this friend (say John). We were school classmates for 9 years. We shared a good relationship during school days but our mentality and perspectives to look at the ...
2
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2answers
483 views

How do I get to the point of asking questions and getting answers?

No matter what I say or do, I am truly just always asking questions about what I do not understand to people who are capable of helping me understand what I need to know about that topic, and no one ...
2
votes
2answers
428 views

De-escalating perceived conflicts against spouse without "taking the other side"

My spouse recently wanted to know some details about an airbnb reservation my mother had made, which we will be sharing later this year. My spouse and I have formulated this post together. In my ...
69
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12answers
22k views

How to try to get my neighbour to park their car in their assigned spot?

Situation I live in an allotment with a shared parking with assigned spots. One of my neighbours always parks their car in front of the door of my building instead of in their assigned spot. They ...
5
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2answers
6k views

How to prevent myself from snapping at people at home?

Every now and them, usually after prolonged periods of stress and frustration, I end up snapping at people at home. Sometimes my snapping is triggered by some behavior I deem unacceptable, or by them ...
5
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2answers
1k views

How to tell beginner pickleball player they shouldn't play?

Often a lower level pickleball player will come to a day set aside for advanced players. (Pickleball has 4 people on a court &usually played at community centers.) It seems if I am nice to them ...
12
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2answers
15k views

How do I tell my girlfriend to stop guilting me that I don't love her enough?

My girlfriend and I have been together for several months and recently moved in with each other. She moved into my apartment. I have a high-paying job, in fact, I make quite a bit more than her, and ...
3
votes
2answers
397 views

How to ask an otherwise helpful person who often reacts rudely to my questions to stop?

A while ago I joined a Discord server for a team (2 vs 2) chess game called bughouse, owned by a guy who I'll call Jake for the sake of anonymity. As I got more interested in the game, he and others ...
19
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3answers
4k views

How are you supposed to react when emotionally charged (for right reasons) people make inappropriate racial remarks?

To describe further let's take an example. Consider a person V, victim of an event or witnessed injustice. It seemed quite obvious that a person X who belongs to a group G is responsible for said ...
5
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0answers
625 views

How to explain a group division for a game

I started holding an RPG game with five friends long ago. I'm the host for this activity. Out of these five friends, two proved to disturb the game in some way, but it wasn't an issue then. We ...
21
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4answers
2k views

How do I ask my family to stop buying me Star Wars themed presents?

When I was a child I was really into Star Wars, as many children are. Now as a grown man, with my own interests and hobbies, a fully developed brain, and two decades of bad Star Wars movies I have ...
4
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1answer
674 views

How can I deal with my wife always changing her mind about things we already planned?

I like making plans whether they're short term or long term (> 6 months). Always have. My wife, however, tends to "forget" about plans we had already discussed and gets upset when I try ...
10
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1answer
1k views

How to tell an employee that someone in their shop is not wearing a mask?

(Without looking condescending or like I'm telling them how to do their job) The other day, I was at a shop and someone was not wearing their mask (it was hanging on one of their ears, so they clearly ...
24
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3answers
5k views

How could I have communicated better to my wife that I don't like my toddler's shoes?

I have three toddlers whose shoes I have to put on and take off several times a day. Two of them have shoes that I can put on and take off very easily. The third has shoes I struggle with every day, ...
4
votes
2answers
829 views

Dealing with a Colleague who never stops eating

At the moment I am working with one other person in an office. I have no complaints about him, but he eats continually and quite loudly. The problem is he mostly eats bags of snacks and nibbles so it ...
3
votes
2answers
682 views

How can I get my mom to compromise and not use her total authority?

I am a 19-year-old autistic male that currently works as a Software Engineering apprentice. I live in a small village in the middle of Bavaria. Even though I got officially diagnosed - secretly - as I ...
43
votes
12answers
21k views

How should I ask people to stop over explaining things?

Most people that I interact with on a daily/regular basis seem to need to over explain and qualify every statement. An example would be: I'm heading out shortly and your car is blocking the drive. ...
19
votes
9answers
13k views

How can I tell a friend they need to help with what they promised because what they promised can't wait?

Situation My boyfriend, John, has a female cat. He's had her for a long time. He also happens to have a friend, Lily, who loves cats. Over time, Lily went from being a cat lover to being a cat ...
1
vote
1answer
639 views

Handling Christians' unpleasant feedback on non-Christian Beliefs? [closed]

A question was asked on the Buddhism stack that garnered a well written answer from the Buddhist point of view, comparing Jesus and Buddha to highlight similarities. However, I'm interested in a ...
3
votes
2answers
425 views

How to avoid conflict when telling your SO that you are going to start searching for work in another country?

Context I've been in a relationship for the last two years, we are in our late 20's and during the last year we have had some talks about future, we have different views for the next five years, she ...
12
votes
1answer
919 views

Relative emailed me demanding to know my political views because they disliked my wife's Facebook posts

This morning I received an email from a relative demanding that I state my political viewpoints on a hot-button topic in US politics because his political views are opposite from those that are being ...
282
votes
10answers
38k views

What to do if you are accidentally following someone?

Imagine this: you're a male in their late twenties. It is dark and you're taking the shortest route to your home/car/llama. After sometime you realize that you have been following someone. To make it ...
32
votes
4answers
5k views

How can I negotiate following a diet with a reluctant significant other?

I'm 30 and due to being very sedentary, especially with COVID-19, due to being on a medicine that affects hunger, I'm slightly overweight. I'm taking this very seriously as I've never been overweight ...
32
votes
6answers
17k views

Wife does not work but wants “own” money/allowance

My wife and I have been married 4 years (United States). We had a baby 6 months ago and 8 months ago my wife quit working, it started to be to much on her physically and now we both like that our ...
6
votes
1answer
312 views

Being a people pleaser vs trying to be more likeable same thing? [closed]

Being a people pleaser obviously has negative connotation. Is trying to be more likeable the same thing as people pleasing or is it something that one should strive for? Just trying to figure out if ...
16
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4answers
2k views

SARS-CoV2: When conflict arises over wearing masks, what should I say? [closed]

In Germany, due to the Corona pandemic, the government requires everyone to wear a mask over their mouth and nose in public when within enclosed spaces like supermarkets or public transportation. ...
3
votes
1answer
573 views

Asking housemate’s partners to contribute toward bills during pandemic?

I share a 5 bedroom house with 4 others. We all get on and they are nice people. As the Coronavirus spread in the UK I was put on furlough (temporary leave paid for by the government, as long as I ...
-2
votes
1answer
336 views

Can a marriage survive when one side doesn't show due to COVID restrictions? [closed]

Two strong-willed families will assemble in the US Mid-Atlantic region. Except, one entire side will not be there due to unforeseen COVID restrictions and quarantine requirements. Only the groom ...
3
votes
3answers
2k views

Asking my sister to show less display of affection to her SO in public

Background I've always had a pretty great relationship with my sister. I would say that, growing up, we've been best friends, a lot of our close friends are mutual friends, we've been on holiday ...
10
votes
1answer
3k views

How to make my girl buy me gifts without sounding needy?

I've been with this girl for 2 years now. Got to say it's been great for me because I actually love her and I have a feeling she does reciprocate those same sentiments. We moved in together at the end ...
2
votes
1answer
462 views

How to avoid blaming a single person for issues submitting a group assignment?

I have a group assignment that is due soon. We are only allowed one submission per group (and further submissions, even before the deadline, will be penalized). This group assignment is worth a ...
18
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1answer
3k views

Breaking up well

Long story short, my ex and I split on pretty poor terms a couple months ago. They cheated again, I moved out, and now they're moving in with the person they cheated with... I'm trying to "break up ...
18
votes
2answers
4k views

How do I support a friend on Social Media who contacted me directly about something I don't want to be involved in?

This has to do with the events going on regarding racism and discrimination. A good friend of mine is black. He recently posted something on social media saying "if you say 'all lives matter' ...
6
votes
2answers
718 views

How do I balance saying no and being liked?

I often find myself in the following situation: a friend from work asks to borrow an object, such as a book or my bike or a piece of jewelry they might have seen me wear or money, to pay for food if ...
1
vote
2answers
581 views

How to explain to family that I don't want to keep fixing the same tech problems?

Firstly, I have a very good relationship with my family and there are no issues on that front. However, due to me working in a technical capacity professionally all of the technical questions / issues ...
1
vote
1answer
412 views

How to deal with my project manager?

I've been a software developper at an IT company for the last 3.5 years now and I've pretty much enjoyed it so far. About 9 months ago, I've asked to work on another project as my former attributions ...
29
votes
3answers
9k views

Classmate is being deported - how could I politely offer to buy their furniture?

My classmate is being deported from the U.S. due to visa issues and has no intentions of returning in the coming years - they plan to join a lab at university in their home country. They're really ...

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