Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

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1answer
283 views

How to say no to my brother while avoiding him thinking I no longer support him?

Background: My brother has a manipulative wife, which has essentially turned him against our mother. I want to keep the story short and won't go into too much detail. Essentially, his wife has ...
8
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3answers
755 views

How to let people face the consequences of their own actions, and at the same time avoid a negative reaction?

My parents are both great at this: I do something stupid and they can make me realize whatever follows is simply a consequence of my own stupidity. Their approach made me take responsibility for the ...
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0answers
180 views

How do I get my friend to stop singing along when I'm trying to listen to the music? [closed]

I have a friend who has an absolute tin ear... could not carry a tune to save her life. But she is a genius with lyrics. Because of this, she loves to sing along to things. It is almost as if she is ...
6
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2answers
436 views

How to ask for autonomy without coming across as rejecting?

I have been living with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we have an overall great relationship. I work and he's currently unemployed. I used to ask him small services and be happy when he'd take ...
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2answers
1k views

How can I survive in a 'guess' culture?

Recently I read an article on 'ask' and 'guess' culture1, and it brought me a lot of clarity. It explains the reason behind many of the interpersonal conflicts that I faced during the past 10-20 years ...
4
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1answer
478 views

How to deal with an egoistic friend who only talks politics and religion?

I'm 27 M (living in India). I have this friend (say John). We were school classmates for 9 years. We shared a good relationship during school days but our mentality and perspectives to look at the ...
6
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1answer
450 views

Why do I lose my temper more easily if one of my own has been wronged than if I'm the one that has been wronged?

Interpersonal conflicts inevitably happen in life, under one form or another. As I'm being confronted by more conflicts as I grow older, I keep learning how to react better. In conflicts where ...
2
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2answers
429 views

De-escalating perceived conflicts against spouse without "taking the other side"

My spouse recently wanted to know some details about an airbnb reservation my mother had made, which we will be sharing later this year. My spouse and I have formulated this post together. In my ...
3
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2answers
397 views

How to ask an otherwise helpful person who often reacts rudely to my questions to stop?

A while ago I joined a Discord server for a team (2 vs 2) chess game called bughouse, owned by a guy who I'll call Jake for the sake of anonymity. As I got more interested in the game, he and others ...
19
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3answers
4k views

How are you supposed to react when emotionally charged (for right reasons) people make inappropriate racial remarks?

To describe further let's take an example. Consider a person V, victim of an event or witnessed injustice. It seemed quite obvious that a person X who belongs to a group G is responsible for said ...
4
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1answer
691 views

How can I deal with my wife always changing her mind about things we already planned?

I like making plans whether they're short term or long term (> 6 months). Always have. My wife, however, tends to "forget" about plans we had already discussed and gets upset when I try ...
21
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4answers
2k views

How do I ask my family to stop buying me Star Wars themed presents?

When I was a child I was really into Star Wars, as many children are. Now as a grown man, with my own interests and hobbies, a fully developed brain, and two decades of bad Star Wars movies I have ...
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1answer
1k views

How to tell an employee that someone in their shop is not wearing a mask?

(Without looking condescending or like I'm telling them how to do their job) The other day, I was at a shop and someone was not wearing their mask (it was hanging on one of their ears, so they clearly ...
24
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3answers
5k views

How could I have communicated better to my wife that I don't like my toddler's shoes?

I have three toddlers whose shoes I have to put on and take off several times a day. Two of them have shoes that I can put on and take off very easily. The third has shoes I struggle with every day, ...
5
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0answers
625 views

How to explain a group division for a game

I started holding an RPG game with five friends long ago. I'm the host for this activity. Out of these five friends, two proved to disturb the game in some way, but it wasn't an issue then. We ...
16
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5answers
5k views

How to encourage conversations beyond small talk with close friends

I had 2 friends in high school, and we were quite close. Then college life started, and we went to different colleges. One of them went to a college out of state. And so there was no physical contact ...
4
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2answers
829 views

Dealing with a Colleague who never stops eating

At the moment I am working with one other person in an office. I have no complaints about him, but he eats continually and quite loudly. The problem is he mostly eats bags of snacks and nibbles so it ...
3
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2answers
683 views

How can I get my mom to compromise and not use her total authority?

I am a 19-year-old autistic male that currently works as a Software Engineering apprentice. I live in a small village in the middle of Bavaria. Even though I got officially diagnosed - secretly - as I ...
2
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2answers
485 views

How do I get to the point of asking questions and getting answers?

No matter what I say or do, I am truly just always asking questions about what I do not understand to people who are capable of helping me understand what I need to know about that topic, and no one ...
10
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1answer
829 views

How do I stop a person I am not interested in being friends with from contacting me?

There is a middle-aged Scandinavian educated chap (similar age) neighbour who befriended me (I am male too), even though I never wanted be anything more than neighbour or associate at best, but he is ...
1
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1answer
639 views

Handling Christians' unpleasant feedback on non-Christian Beliefs? [closed]

A question was asked on the Buddhism stack that garnered a well written answer from the Buddhist point of view, comparing Jesus and Buddha to highlight similarities. However, I'm interested in a ...
3
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2answers
426 views

How to avoid conflict when telling your SO that you are going to start searching for work in another country?

Context I've been in a relationship for the last two years, we are in our late 20's and during the last year we have had some talks about future, we have different views for the next five years, she ...
12
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1answer
926 views

Relative emailed me demanding to know my political views because they disliked my wife's Facebook posts

This morning I received an email from a relative demanding that I state my political viewpoints on a hot-button topic in US politics because his political views are opposite from those that are being ...
32
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4answers
5k views

How can I negotiate following a diet with a reluctant significant other?

I'm 30 and due to being very sedentary, especially with COVID-19, due to being on a medicine that affects hunger, I'm slightly overweight. I'm taking this very seriously as I've never been overweight ...
6
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1answer
312 views

Being a people pleaser vs trying to be more likeable same thing? [closed]

Being a people pleaser obviously has negative connotation. Is trying to be more likeable the same thing as people pleasing or is it something that one should strive for? Just trying to figure out if ...
16
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4answers
2k views

SARS-CoV2: When conflict arises over wearing masks, what should I say? [closed]

In Germany, due to the Corona pandemic, the government requires everyone to wear a mask over their mouth and nose in public when within enclosed spaces like supermarkets or public transportation. ...
-2
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1answer
337 views

Can a marriage survive when one side doesn't show due to COVID restrictions? [closed]

Two strong-willed families will assemble in the US Mid-Atlantic region. Except, one entire side will not be there due to unforeseen COVID restrictions and quarantine requirements. Only the groom ...
18
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2answers
4k views

How do I support a friend on Social Media who contacted me directly about something I don't want to be involved in?

This has to do with the events going on regarding racism and discrimination. A good friend of mine is black. He recently posted something on social media saying "if you say 'all lives matter' ...
6
votes
2answers
718 views

How do I balance saying no and being liked?

I often find myself in the following situation: a friend from work asks to borrow an object, such as a book or my bike or a piece of jewelry they might have seen me wear or money, to pay for food if ...
1
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2answers
581 views

How to explain to family that I don't want to keep fixing the same tech problems?

Firstly, I have a very good relationship with my family and there are no issues on that front. However, due to me working in a technical capacity professionally all of the technical questions / issues ...
3
votes
1answer
573 views

Asking housemate’s partners to contribute toward bills during pandemic?

I share a 5 bedroom house with 4 others. We all get on and they are nice people. As the Coronavirus spread in the UK I was put on furlough (temporary leave paid for by the government, as long as I ...
1
vote
1answer
412 views

How to deal with my project manager?

I've been a software developper at an IT company for the last 3.5 years now and I've pretty much enjoyed it so far. About 9 months ago, I've asked to work on another project as my former attributions ...
29
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3answers
9k views

Classmate is being deported - how could I politely offer to buy their furniture?

My classmate is being deported from the U.S. due to visa issues and has no intentions of returning in the coming years - they plan to join a lab at university in their home country. They're really ...
15
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1answer
1k views

How to respond to challenges about using the women's restroom as a trans woman

I'm a transgender woman, and I'm getting to the point in my transition where I'm starting to use the women's restroom. However, given the recent climate around transgender people using the appropriate ...
3
votes
2answers
847 views

Confronting an Inconsiderate Co-Worker

A little background: I am very conflict averse. I go out of my way to be friendly and accommodating. Recently I was promoted at work, but I am in a different group. I used to be in a technical ...
2
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0answers
260 views

Is it acceptable to ask for money to replace a rug that an acquaintance's dog ruined? [closed]

Background: Recently, a young couple moved into our area, and started going to church in our congregation. They first couple months, they struggled to make friends and fit in, so my wife and I ...
5
votes
2answers
989 views

How to explain I won't attend a theme party?

My female friend had a son recently, and it is a source of great joy for all of us (friends). When her son was three months old, we organized a surprise party for him, and the mom was very happy with ...
2
votes
1answer
462 views

How to avoid blaming a single person for issues submitting a group assignment?

I have a group assignment that is due soon. We are only allowed one submission per group (and further submissions, even before the deadline, will be penalized). This group assignment is worth a ...
64
votes
7answers
13k views

Dealing with unwanted "Joking" physical contact

This isn't really a sexual thing, just something that makes me uncomfortable. So I hate having my hair up or braiding it or doing anything with it in general because I think it looks weird and it's ...
2
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0answers
107 views

How to get friends(s) to confirm for certain if they are attending or not? [duplicate]

I think this is a fairly common situation. When trying to arrange something, some people don't like to commit so they say "maybe". This is a problem, because space may be limited or reservations may ...
1
vote
2answers
824 views

How to express frustration that friend left without telling anyone?

I have a problem where I either say nothing or get abrasive when I try to get a person to stop doing something that bothers me. This is why I'm asking here. My friend (Bob) had invited me and another ...
4
votes
2answers
645 views

How to discuss the lack of effort in a friendship without causing conflict?

About 3 years ago I moved from Canada to Ireland. While I didn't have many friends in Canada, I have a friend that I've been very close to for over 20 years. In the first 2 years after I moved to ...
8
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2answers
1k views

How to deal with a depressed person who thinks people are uniting against her?

Let's call this person Alice. Alice is currently in therapy and taking drugs to treat a long lasting depression. Alice is also quite egocentric i.e. likes to be in everybody's focus and tries to get ...
3
votes
1answer
405 views

How to convince younger brother to participate in helping me and others instead of being too focused to something?

Background I fought my younger brother when he flat out told me that whatever he's doing at the moment is much more important than any problems that are not his and that it is too much of a hassle to ...
4
votes
2answers
604 views

How to handle someone who never gets important stuff done

I have problems with my girlfriend taking forever to get stuff done. To the point where it really causes problems in our relationship. She took forever to get her passport (we almost missed a massive ...
10
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2answers
911 views

How to politely get rid of someone soliciting donations at your door?

When people come to the door asking for donations how do you politely end the conversation and close the door? Some of the causes are very worthy but I don't have the money. I had jobs before where ...
3
votes
2answers
510 views

How do I politely tell people in public I won't give out my e-mail? [closed]

I noticed recently when I'm checking out at the store, the cashier will ask for my email address, so that the store can send me flyers, coupons, and promotions. In other words, junk. What I've tried:...
0
votes
1answer
669 views

How to reply to "I shouldn't have to speak to you like that"? [closed]

For more back story, see here. I was asked to a meeting with 2 people from a group of friends I hangout with. The subject was complex. I believe we all respect each other and value direct, open ...
21
votes
2answers
2k views

Partner temporary moving in, how to enforce it's temporary?

I live alone and I just love it. I have a girlfriend (of 5 years) who I also love, and since the start of our relationship I've told her that "living together would not happen." To make a long story ...
9
votes
1answer
817 views

How to gently ask my neighbor not to use my bins for their waste?

In the past months, there were several occasions when I found foreign waste in my personal bins. I cannot say, that was my neighbor for sure as I never saw anyone. But the waste type and content made ...

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