Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

Filter by
Sorted by
Tagged with
282
votes
10answers
38k views

What to do if you are accidentally following someone?

Imagine this: you're a male in their late twenties. It is dark and you're taking the shortest route to your home/car/llama. After sometime you realize that you have been following someone. To make it ...
136
votes
7answers
34k views

Girlfriend's nosy mother keeps expressing that she'll show up unannounced

Some context: my girlfriend and I have been dating for a year, and we've decided to move in together now that she has graduated and found a job in her chosen career. We're both financially ...
109
votes
8answers
39k views

How can I tactfully refuse to switch seats on flights?

On flights, seatmates (strangers near my seat) have asked me to swap my aisle seat (reserved in advance, sometimes paid for), usually to my disadvantage as their seat has some snag (dirtier, narrower, ...
107
votes
11answers
23k views

How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset?

A close family member of mine is a raw vegan, anti vaxer, anti-antibiotics, anti-fluoride, believes in chemtrails, has a machine that filters water and makes it alkaline, eats lots of supplements, ...
105
votes
14answers
23k views

How can I get someone to say their first name without letting on that I've forgotten?

I often face the problem of forgetting the name of a person who I last met a while ago. This can lead to an awkward situation when asking what their name is. How can I elicit them to say their name, ...
104
votes
12answers
21k views

Meeting someone who used to bully me

When I was at school, I received quite a lot of verbal bullying. This waxed and waned over the years, and generally it was patchy enough that I could put up with it in the long term, even if in the ...
100
votes
11answers
26k views

I have been asked to keep a secret about a surprise that I believe will end poorly

My parents have been divorced for roughly 40 years. The separation was unpleasant, as divorces frequently are, but so were the following decades. They have not spoken to each other outside of a ...
98
votes
8answers
18k views

My best friend has become increasingly xenophobic towards Muslims. What do I do?

My best friend (let's call him Bob for potential answerers) whom I have been friends with since childhood (around 15 years) has become increasingly xenophobic recently. He's a great person and ...
94
votes
17answers
24k views

How to handle people blocking your view and breaking the rules at the theater by not sitting in their assigned seats?

A while ago, my parents/brothers and I went to visit a theatre performance (in The Netherlands, where we live). We booked really nice first class tickets with empty seats in front of us. We booked ...
91
votes
19answers
32k views

Sketchy "friend" recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how?

I have a very tricky situation that has come up. I am getting married in two weeks (as the groom, age 39), and my fiancée (bride-to-be) has invited a close friend "Lucy" who is bringing her own ...
90
votes
13answers
34k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to be my gym buddy without hurting her feelings?

I've recently started dating a girl and we're an item, and are happy hanging out together. We have strong feelings for each other. She is somewhat overweight (not hugely so but not at a healthy ...
89
votes
10answers
28k views

What to do with a friend who cheats in games?

What to do with a friend who slightly improves his chances in the card or board games we play, by, for example, picking another card while we don't look or turning the dice? The games are played for ...
88
votes
9answers
25k views

I'm in a committed relationship and I'm being hit on in the workplace - how do I stop it without bringing it to HR?

Some Background I'm a 21 year old female I'm living in west Europe I am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend The Problem I recently started an internship for the summer which is amazing ...
88
votes
17answers
21k views

How to deal with someone who ignores your lack of knowledge?

I purposely made this question generally broad so that it can apply to more people in need of similar interpersonal skills, but I can easily make it about a specific scenario if needed. Problem My ...
84
votes
12answers
19k views

How do I ask for an espresso if there's a good chance they don't know how to make it?

I like coffee and I live in Russia which is not generally a coffee drinking country. More often than not, when you ask for an espresso in Russia, you get 100 to 150 ml of liquid in your cup. The ...
82
votes
13answers
30k views

How to miss my own stag/bachelor party?

Although I am not to marry soon, I will do so one day (reasons irrelevant for the question). The tradition among my friends is to organise stag/bachelor parties for soon-to-be married grooms. However, ...
80
votes
9answers
24k views

How do I stop making people jump at home and at work?

I make a lot of people jump when I enter the room or try to get their attention. I am not sure what exactly I am doing wrong, but I would like to stop it so I am looking for suggestions. I have had a ...
77
votes
14answers
21k views

How can I tactfully interrupt a customer service representative over the phone?

I had to telephone my bank, as my security device stopped working. The staff member said: Before we continue with the nature of your call, are you interested in completing a survey I wasn't. So I ...
77
votes
15answers
23k views

How to tactfully communicate with ex-boyfriend about my personal choices?

Background I recently broke up with a guy (let's call him Tom) that I had only been casually dating for a couple months. During this time, I had what I thought was simply a crush on a co-worker for a ...
77
votes
9answers
22k views

How to handle very opinionated and aggressive friend?

A bit of background first I've been hanging with the same circle of friends for roughly 10 years now, we're quite a diverse bunch in terms of opinions, and it often sparks debates. Usually, everything ...
74
votes
21answers
34k views

How can I deal diplomatically with a feminist neighbor who continuously delivers political speeches in private?

This question is unlikely to have a very strong cultural context so I welcome answers from members all over the world. I met this person (code name Jane D) when I was studying sociology at Masters ...
73
votes
10answers
27k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip?

A situation came up with my girlfriend where I drove her to an event that she needed to go to that was a two hour drive away (so a four hour round trip). After we got back, I charged her for half of ...
73
votes
16answers
18k views

How to stop classmate from bullying me [closed]

I am Austrian, 17 years old. After that year, I have one last year left in my school. I have one classmate who never liked me very much. Since this year’s christmas our relationship got even worse. ...
72
votes
10answers
29k views

How to tell a friend I won't pay them for a favor they did for me?

I recently received, out of the blue, a text message from a friend which very much surprised me. In the message, my friend mentions that I borrowed her Netflix account for about a month (she said she ...
71
votes
6answers
16k views

How do I tell my girlfriend she's been buying me books by the wrong author for the last nine months?

Help! For the last nine months my girlfriend has been buying me books by the wrong author, fully believing that she's treating me to work by my favourite writer (who incidentally she believes is a ...
70
votes
9answers
19k views

Responding to my mom's remarks about my love life when she refuses to accept/acknowledge it

Background I'm the only child in a religious, conservative family. We do not see eye to eye on many current events, as they often only watch a single (biased) news source, and stand their ground on ...
69
votes
12answers
22k views

How to try to get my neighbour to park their car in their assigned spot?

Situation I live in an allotment with a shared parking with assigned spots. One of my neighbours always parks their car in front of the door of my building instead of in their assigned spot. They ...
69
votes
10answers
21k views

How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues

Now this is a sensitive topic, and I do not wish to offend anyone's sensibilities - but at the same time, I want to know of an effective way of dealing with the disproportionate emotional work ...
69
votes
14answers
19k views

Dealing with a person who continuously needs help

Background I have a "friend" who is currently employed at a job as a software developer. Unfortunately, this friend of mine isn't at all willing to look for solutions by themselves. They would rather ...
69
votes
6answers
30k views

How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people

Context I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., ...
68
votes
9answers
26k views

How to tell a close friend they've been cheated on when the cheater is my good friend

Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective). I have two close friends, Bobby and Sarah, that I met together almost 3 ...
68
votes
6answers
36k views

How to handle my girlfriend finding out about my second apartment? [closed]

I love my girlfriend but my need for alone time to focus on my interests exceeds most individuals. We moved in together about 18 months ago (she moved across the country with me when I had a job ...
66
votes
8answers
15k views

How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind?

My colleague recently had a disagreement with a client about the colour of two items. The client claimed both items were the same colour, while to my colleague one was red and one was green. I can ...
64
votes
5answers
18k views

How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways

Problem So, there is this (big) guy at the gym. He is 210cm and 105Kg (~6'11" and 230 lbs) which makes him look like a mountain, but he seems to not understand that not everyone is naturally as ...
64
votes
7answers
13k views

Dealing with unwanted "Joking" physical contact

This isn't really a sexual thing, just something that makes me uncomfortable. So I hate having my hair up or braiding it or doing anything with it in general because I think it looks weird and it's ...
63
votes
11answers
23k views

How to quickly remove yourself from a homophobic conversation?

My problem arises with the fact that I grew up in a very homophobic environment. I'm personally bi (so most people just take me as straight). Yet, I have homosexual friends with whom I'm very close, ...
63
votes
10answers
27k views

How do I clarify that the gift someone gave me is mine when they are asking for it back?

I have a friend - let's call her Jane. Jane's a nice gal. We get along, meetup from time to time (when she doesn't decide to cancel at the last hour) and is someone I actually like hanging out with. ...
63
votes
9answers
23k views

How can I convince my significant other to stop double standards?

I've been dating my girlfriend for two years (I'm 20 and she's 19) but I often find that we're running into situations where I'm being held to a standard that she won't comply with, despite a joint ...
63
votes
12answers
16k views

How to ask why I was not included without causing a scene?

My partner has a friend from way-back, T. We sometimes hang out with him and his family and go on day trips together. I've known them for 5 years but the contact is not always as frequent. While we ...
63
votes
4answers
15k views

How can I explain to a friend's child that I don't like sleepovers without parents?

I have a female friend, whom I've been friends with for over 20 years. Her 12 year old boy (I'm his godfather) is very fascinated by my virtual reality gaming setup at home, and very often and very ...
62
votes
7answers
14k views

How to politely stress that I do not wish to eat something?

A couple of weeks ago me and my partner decided to change our diet/lifestyle to a mostly plant based diet. It has made us feel much better and happier. We make the occasional exception here and there ...
61
votes
10answers
45k views

Losing interest in girl I date because too slow dating

I am currently dating a girl (19) who I (21) really like. She really does look good and has a great character. But one thing I actually at first really liked is turning kinda sour for me right now. ...
60
votes
13answers
33k views

I gave a "gift" back to a friend after he asked for it back, and now he is trying to tax me for using it [closed]

I'm usually good at this sort of stuff but I don't know how to handle this situation. I'll start from the beginning. Backstory About 2-3 years ago, a good friend of mine, Henry, stole a grinder from ...
60
votes
5answers
15k views

Dealing with small crimes as a volunteer

Every now and then I volunteer for an association, organizing big role play events in my country (by big I mean several days with between several hundred people, so nothing at the national scale, but ...
60
votes
8answers
18k views

How do you politely stand your ground against authority who repeatedly press a question that you declined to answer?

This questioner is positioned with authority and power in a professional context. Background An elderly relative's mental illnesses cause stuttering and awkward behavior that probably explains her ...
60
votes
13answers
15k views

How to approach my spouse about their weight gain?

My spouse is and has always been quite overweight. From the beginning it was no problem for me, I just don't mind. Yet, since we've been living together, my spouse somehow put on a lot of weight (...
59
votes
15answers
36k views

How to stop people from touching me without having to freak out at them

I have a problem that I haven't been able to find an amicable solution to so far. I really don't like being touched, to the point where if someone is touching me unexpectedly I get confusion rising to ...
58
votes
6answers
14k views

Dealing with / extricating yourself from having to listen to a superior's xenophobic rants

This could very well be on the workplace, but I'm looking for a IPS solution that will help me deal with this since the usual workplace advice ("Look for a new job") won't help me in this case. I ...
56
votes
7answers
16k views

How do I tell my close-ones that I don't appreciate it when they say I look like a bird?

While I ultimately believe that my family and friends love me and would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, there is a certain culture among my immediate and extended family members and my ...
55
votes
16answers
55k views

How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop?

Some background about me and my girlfriend: We are in a long distance relationship for more than four years, so we only see each other on weekends (unfortunately not every weekend), but this is about ...

1
2 3 4 5
10