Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

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24
votes
2answers
5k views

How to ask for redress of a grievance that "ruins" a long held family tradition in way that does not ruin things?

Until now, my family and I had a tradition of making waffles and eating them on Christmas morning. The devices used to make said waffles were two 70s era electric waffle makers. Suffice to say that ...
5
votes
2answers
6k views

How to prevent myself from snapping at people at home?

Every now and them, usually after prolonged periods of stress and frustration, I end up snapping at people at home. Sometimes my snapping is triggered by some behavior I deem unacceptable, or by them ...
100
votes
11answers
26k views

I have been asked to keep a secret about a surprise that I believe will end poorly

My parents have been divorced for roughly 40 years. The separation was unpleasant, as divorces frequently are, but so were the following decades. They have not spoken to each other outside of a ...
20
votes
5answers
13k views

How can I get my neighbour's children to take care not to scratch my car?

We have just got a new car on a lease, so are liable for any repairs that go above and beyond the usual wear and tear. I noticed two deep big scratches within the first week. After the first scratch, ...
17
votes
5answers
5k views

Difficult family conflict about inheritance

My mother died 2 years ago and left a house to me and my two younger brothers. She wasn't very good with money and got herself in financial difficulty about 10 years ago and had to be helped with a ...
18
votes
5answers
990 views

Managing unrealistic customer expectations?

I do some web work on the side, building websites for non-profits mostly. A, more or less, constant problem I run into is managing expectations when my customer doesn't really have a budget and doesn'...
23
votes
6answers
7k views

How can I ask someone I've never met to type quieter?

I'm working in a co-working space, and today a new guy is working at the same table as me. His typing (on his laptop) is quite intense, which makes a lot of noise. In addition, the table is not too ...
77
votes
9answers
22k views

How to handle very opinionated and aggressive friend?

A bit of background first I've been hanging with the same circle of friends for roughly 10 years now, we're quite a diverse bunch in terms of opinions, and it often sparks debates. Usually, everything ...
15
votes
4answers
3k views

How to ask my housemate to take better care of his pets?

We have three kittens (around 16 weeks old) and a bearded dragon in our household. The kittens are well fed and looked after because I look after all three of them. I have no qualms with that at all. ...
23
votes
5answers
4k views

How to deal with a possibly abusive stranger?

Recently, I was on a trip to a town that I didn’t know well. I play Pokemon GO, which has “raids,” a sort of social feature that requires people to gather in one place to coordinate in-game activities....
12
votes
3answers
5k views

How do I to tell someone to stop criticizing what we do?

TL;DR: How do I to tell a judgemental person with unsubstantiated statements, making it a clear and definitive statement, that she may not move things around in our office? That person (I'll call her ...
9
votes
2answers
3k views

How to deal with a colleague who tries to undermine me? [closed]

It's been 4 months since I joined my new company. There is a colleague (let's call him Bob) who joined with me. Bob and I were colleagues in my previous company and we both accepted interviews from ...
-7
votes
6answers
3k views

What to do when another person believes that you are ignorant? [closed]

I just had a conversation with my father about a job application in which they wanted to know if I ever had any traffic violations. Now, as far as I can remember, I've never been busted for ...
98
votes
8answers
18k views

My best friend has become increasingly xenophobic towards Muslims. What do I do?

My best friend (let's call him Bob for potential answerers) whom I have been friends with since childhood (around 15 years) has become increasingly xenophobic recently. He's a great person and ...
21
votes
7answers
7k views

An extremely confrontational person knows I blocked them, how to avoid confrontation?

I have a friend X who I have had to block on all social media after they have proven themselves to be: intense and demanding (A) trying to upset me (B) emotionally manipulative (C) having angry and ...
14
votes
4answers
13k views

How to deal with high tempered and angry people

Recently I faced a problem, My colleague is high tempered and we were discussing something on some topic. Suddenly he started shouting after that I realize that whatever I was explaining, he is ...
18
votes
5answers
4k views

How do I tell certain customers they're not my number one priority?

Background I work for a very small company that's been around a long time, we do a mix of processing customer products and consultancy work. We have a reasonable mix of customers, working for ...
13
votes
3answers
4k views

When in queue at the supermarket, how do I get my personal space?

A quick cultural and personal background: this refers to Germany, and I am terrible at handling ANY kind of even mild conflict with people, especially people I don't know. When in queue in a ...
17
votes
8answers
1k views

How do I deal with snarky comments about self-help/motivational books?

Self-help books have helped me a lot. Now, I've run into a lot of stinkers, but when one works, it works. But I realize I keep them all pretty close to the vest. People do like to make fun of self-...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

Dealing with differences in fandom in relationships?

What are some methods for handling extreme fandom in dating relationships? The question arises with the new season of Game of Thrones, but I'd like to keep it a little more general. Fandom is a ...
8
votes
2answers
753 views

How to temper conflict in close relationships [closed]

I was reading some of the answers to this question and it got me to thinking. I can't control another person's reaction to me, but I can perhaps temper my own approach when dealing with conflict. ...
44
votes
7answers
14k views

How to say "I'm an adult now" to my parents?

I have an issue with my parents meddling in my personal choices. Let's say they are neutral habits, which means you can't say it's good or bad, like shaking my feet when I'm idle - note that this does ...
24
votes
2answers
4k views

How can I use a cell phone at work for work purposes without appearing to be slacking off?

Where I work, it is frequently mentioned by both co-workers and managers that many people find it rude when staff use cell phones while on duty because it is seen as attending to personal items while ...
18
votes
4answers
3k views

I have a problem with family members sharing my personal drama on Facebook

I have a Facebook profile and use it to have fun and keep in touch with friends. I do my best to keep personal drama off of my Facebook page, be it mine or another person's drama, it doesn't belong on ...
19
votes
4answers
1k views

What is the politest way to tell someone their breath smells?

Sometimes people have morning breath or garlic-breath of some sort. If I'm talking to a friend in a public place and I notice this, what should I do? Should I tell them to brush their teeth in the ...
15
votes
4answers
2k views

Politely ask friend to turn down car radio [closed]

I frequently ride with a friend with whom I get along quite well, except for one thing, and that is that it seems that his radio is always way too loud. I know he enjoys having the sound turned up, ...
105
votes
14answers
23k views

How can I get someone to say their first name without letting on that I've forgotten?

I often face the problem of forgetting the name of a person who I last met a while ago. This can lead to an awkward situation when asking what their name is. How can I elicit them to say their name, ...
17
votes
7answers
2k views

How to handle accidentally bumping into a drunk person while walking?

Yesterday when I left my office, I bumped into a drunk person while walking. I didn't notice him, since I was walking while checking my WhatsApp messages. Then, since he was drunk, he started ...

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