Questions tagged [conflict-aversion]

For questions regarding to the avoiding of an imminent conflict, or the general avoiding of a conflict that occurs on a regular basis. Questions regarding ongoing conflicts, or conflicts that are already started, please use the "conflicts" tag.

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8
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5answers
2k views

How can I encourage my boyfriend to stand up to his friends?

Here's the situation: My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 1.5 years. At first, when I met his friends I liked them a lot, but as time has gone on I've noticed a side to their relationship ...
24
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3answers
9k views

How do I help my girlfriend get out of this dangerous situation with her parents? [closed]

Hello Interpersonal Stack Exchange, About two weeks ago I posted the question "How do I help my girlfriend defend herself against manipulative parents?". I recommend reading that one first ...
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1answer
3k views

Breaking up well

Long story short, my ex and I split on pretty poor terms a couple months ago. They cheated again, I moved out, and now they're moving in with the person they cheated with... I'm trying to "break up ...
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2answers
3k views

How to talk to my sister about not spending as much time with her?

Background: Growing up, I was always close with my sister because I spent a lot of time with her and told her everything. As I grew older and went to college, I began spending less time with her and ...
5
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1answer
587 views

How do I inform my neighbor about not cutting grass on my side of the lawn?

I know it's not a big deal for most, but I really do put a lot of effort into having a nice lawn, and our next door neighbour has done a few things that grind my gears, and I do not know how to ...
3
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4answers
1k views

How to establish boundaries in a friendship when the friend does not understand, while preserving mutual friend group

Background: I am a guy who has traveled quite a bit across the U.S. and made a lot of friends due to an organization that I am a part of (not work related). Last year I went to visit some of these ...
60
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5answers
15k views

Dealing with small crimes as a volunteer

Every now and then I volunteer for an association, organizing big role play events in my country (by big I mean several days with between several hundred people, so nothing at the national scale, but ...
77
votes
15answers
23k views

How to tactfully communicate with ex-boyfriend about my personal choices?

Background I recently broke up with a guy (let's call him Tom) that I had only been casually dating for a couple months. During this time, I had what I thought was simply a crush on a co-worker for a ...
10
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3answers
2k views

How to deal with someone who always feels treated disrespectfully?

I already asked this question before, and it was deleted for being off-topic (also because I did not check back for too long, and thus was unable to adjust my post according to the comments / the ...
31
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8answers
13k views

Reclaiming my desk fan when the office I lent it to is also really hot

I work in a mid sized company. Due to company policy, we're usually not allowed to have personal electronics at work (all electronics in the offices must be tested every year, it's a licensing / ...
2
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3answers
1k views

How to interact with someone whose close friend group seems to dislike you?

Here's the progression of events with me and this friend group: I met and dated a girl I met some of this girl's friends. I got along with them just fine. The girl wasn't romantically interested in ...
12
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4answers
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How to avoid conflict refusing to honor kid naming traditions

I live in Eastern Europe and in my country we have a common practice of naming baby boys the same name as the father's father. While generally not an issue, I have entered a serious relationship and ...
18
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6answers
33k views

My boyfriend has issues with his parents, how do I support him without ending up in his parents bad books? [closed]

Some Background My boyfriend (bf) is 21, living at home. He is the youngest of three boys (his brothers are 29 and 23 respectively, neither of them are at home much). His parents are 54 (mom) and 65 (...
8
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3answers
883 views

How can I communicate that I am getting frustrated when people tell me their problems? [closed]

People like to tell me their problems, I'm not sure why, but everyone I know does it a lot. Such as friends, family and partner. The issue I have is that when they moan about something or tell me an ...
10
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1answer
777 views

How to tactfully turn down demands from a demanding friend?

I have a deaf-blind friend, and she is very sweet. Because she is deaf and blind, there are many restrictions on what she can and can't do, and she has a mitochondrial condition that causes her ...
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2answers
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How to ask a friend to stop lying?

Context So I've been part of a very tight group of friends for more than a year now, and it feels like we're gonna be friends for a good while. We're all from 18 to 20 years old, and it's a mix of ...
14
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2answers
2k views

I slapped my 8 year old cousin. What was a better way to handle the situation?

I am a 24 year old boy. My aunt was visiting our home. Her son is an eight year old. He is a most uncontrollable, hyperactive boy. For example, he will switch on the television, watch it from about ...
3
votes
1answer
724 views

How do I deal with coworkers messing with me because of my shyness?

I've worked at my job for over a year and I barely speak to anyone. I'm very much a loner and don't prefer socializing or interacting with others, I keep to myself. My other coworkers know this and ...
70
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6answers
30k views

How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people

Context I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., ...
63
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4answers
15k views

How can I explain to a friend's child that I don't like sleepovers without parents?

I have a female friend, whom I've been friends with for over 20 years. Her 12 year old boy (I'm his godfather) is very fascinated by my virtual reality gaming setup at home, and very often and very ...
8
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2answers
2k views

How to tell an artist friend that their art has been getting worse if they think otherwise

Not long ago, a friend of mine got some rather harsh and even somewhat rude criticism, anonymously, that their art has been regressing for a while and that they're squandering all of their potential. ...
5
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4answers
3k views

How to Handle Judgmental Sibling

My older sibling always seems to judge me and undermine my interests and achievements. We both graduated from reputable universities in our respective fields (mine being technology and theirs being ...
42
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5answers
14k views

How can a girl ask a heavily tattooed, tall man who jumped the line, to get in line?

My 16-year-old sister (only 5"2') was waiting in line, when a burly, sturdy, tattooed man jumped the line in front of her. No other persons were around them. She felt too scared by his brawniness ...
1
vote
1answer
464 views

As a student, how can I negotiate appropriate sleeping arrangements with strangers for an academic conference?

I'm an undergraduate student that was offered a role researching for a grant. I was able to get authorship status on a paper and will be attending a conference for it later this year. The professor I ...
14
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4answers
1k views

How can I request something in writing, if the other person resists with "Don't you trust me?"?

I was helping a disabled friend schedule, over the phone, her appointment at a hospital that occasionally botches times and dates. I asked the secretary to confirm by email: Me: Can you please ...
14
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6answers
6k views

How can I get my mom to accept me being introverted?

I'm 21 years-old and still live at my parents' house. Like my dad, I'm pretty introverted. And we mainly like to do our own thing throughout the day. For me, that's playing video games, writing code, ...
41
votes
10answers
18k views

How to get across to flatmates the reason behind not wanting to live with them again?

Some Background I am a 21 year old female, House mates ages: Alice is 21, Beth is 20 and Katie is 19, Obviously, the flatmates names have been changed to protect their anonymity We lived in a student ...
10
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5answers
3k views

What to say to steer passive-aggressive narcissist parent(s) away from saying guilt-tripping statements to me or other people?

My relationship with my dad has been rocky the past 9+ years. After divorcing my mom when I was 16, (I am 25 now) his passive-aggressive narcissist behavior has become more prevalent. For example, he ...
88
votes
9answers
25k views

I'm in a committed relationship and I'm being hit on in the workplace - how do I stop it without bringing it to HR?

Some Background I'm a 21 year old female I'm living in west Europe I am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend The Problem I recently started an internship for the summer which is amazing ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How to approach a person that has stood me up several times?

Background: I met this person, S at a church I was attending at the time (I changed churches for different reasons). We became friends, because we had a few common interests, and I wanted to help S ...
9
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3answers
1k views

How can I diplomatically ask my neighbor to move his/her patio off my garage wall to stop damp

I have just moved in to a new (to me. 6 years old) house and have yet to meet the neighbors. I have since noticed my inside garage wall was damp. Inspecting outside the dampness was caused by the ...
49
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8answers
16k views

How can I ensure people know 'What happens on the pitch stays on the pitch"

Preface: I am an incredibly passionate and competitive soccer player. I absolutely despise losing and I love a good physical and mental battle when playing on the pitch. Recently, a new friend of ...
6
votes
2answers
821 views

How to refuse an invitation without offending good friends?

We have long-time friends, a married couple. We don't see them very often, maybe four to five times a year. Two of the opportunities to meet them are their birthday parties. During these "parties&...
42
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7answers
15k views

Asking guys to quit shouting in a bar

I've been making a more conscious effort to work on my social skills lately. Particularly soft skills dealings with random people in public places. My shrink recommended that I do the obvious thing, "...
4
votes
3answers
737 views

How to deal with someone who is critical of my perceived lack of work?

Background I am currently working as a temporary student intern at an automotive company's part depot doing jobs for the customer service department there, including updating processes and creating a ...
2
votes
4answers
804 views

How to keep passengers off the phone

I am often the driver for friends and family whenever we travel, whether short or long distances. This is mostly due to the fact that I have the best track record, reflexes, judgement, etc. on the ...
2
votes
1answer
987 views

My mother taunt me everytime she wants oppose my opinion [closed]

The problem is that she always use a taunt to hurt my feelings and self esteem. There are two situation every time when I interact with my mother. Either negative or positive, there has never been a ...
64
votes
5answers
18k views

How to politely reject a rude advice giver at the gym that won't take it well anyways

Problem So, there is this (big) guy at the gym. He is 210cm and 105Kg (~6'11" and 230 lbs) which makes him look like a mountain, but he seems to not understand that not everyone is naturally as ...
32
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10answers
18k views

Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument

Bit of background on my relationship with my brother: ever since my teenage years, I could not bear him. I know it is common for siblings to have arguments and misunderstandings, and that's been the ...
30
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7answers
10k views

How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating?

My SO (legal life-partnership status1) and I have been together for 6 years and bought a house together 1 year ago. He has a great paying job and earns about 3 times my salary. I have a decent pay. ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife

Background: I live in Germany and come from an eastern-european country, I am 30 and female. The man in question, let's call him Ben, is from Germany, he is 55, he recently married Alice, she's 40 and ...
9
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2answers
3k views

How do I politely tell someone I don't want them to meet a friend with me?

Background: I was good friends with someone for the better part of 7 years, lately we've been drifting apart but have to spend a long holiday together overseas in a few weeks. Cancelling is not an ...
12
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3answers
2k views

How can I tell my mom that I found more beer in my brother's room while I was snooping?

Recently, I found my brother's stash of alcohol in the basement while looking for some paint. I told my mom about it, and she took care of it and decided to have a talk with him once he gets back from ...
-4
votes
1answer
784 views

How can I convince a doctor to wash her hands, and not just use hand sanitizer? [closed]

I recently saw a doctor who, after entering the room, only used hand sanitizer. As her gown looked dirty, I stopped her from touching me and asked: Doctor, is handwashing more effective than hand ...
4
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4answers
2k views

How do I politely convince my elders that the external-knowledge tools of my generation are respectable?

At work, I asked what makes a picnic a picnic, is it the fact that its outside? I then preceded to google it and found: A picnic is a meal taken outdoors as part of an excursion. Which I said to ...
40
votes
6answers
14k views

Childhood friend wants to get a "best friends" tattoo but I do not think it is a good idea

Background I have a friend, we'll call her A, who I have known for nearly 20 years now. We are both in our early 20s now. Due to transitions we have both experienced over the last several years, other ...
73
votes
10answers
27k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip?

A situation came up with my girlfriend where I drove her to an event that she needed to go to that was a two hour drive away (so a four hour round trip). After we got back, I charged her for half of ...
52
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10answers
13k views

How can I play the devil's advocate in politics without being attacked?

Background When it comes to politics I prefer to take the role of a "devil's advocate" instead of firmly entrenching myself into one political party's ideas. I do not like to disclose my ...
54
votes
10answers
18k views

How do I avoid strange questions because of a flag?

First of I should mention that I like Russia, have been there and I just like the people, the culture, the architecture. Pretty much every friend/coworker/family members knows and accepts that. But ...
17
votes
5answers
7k views

I sent an email about an urgent message, but want to call instead. How to correct?

Note: this is not a situation I am currently facing, but I have faced in the recent past. I apologized afterwards, which helped, but I'd rather learn how to fix the problem before it even occurs. My ...

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