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Questions tagged [conflicts]

For questions with regards to conflicts, such as how to deal with them or how to get involved with one. This tag is typically used for situations where there is already a conflict. If your question covers a potential conflict (possibly about to happen), please use the conflict-aversion tag.

56
votes
6answers
17k views

Stepmother wants me to sign for life insurance without consulting a lawyer, how do I tell her that I will only do this after talking to one?

Background: I am a 20 years old male, living alone in Austria I have two stepsisters and a stepmother and my father is deceased I lived together with my stepmother for the last 10 years, but moved ...
7
votes
3answers
2k views

Talking to your girlfriend about her personal messages you read by chance?

While using my girlfriend's laptop I happened to see a message notification from a guy she met on holiday just before we started dating. I was working and she was sitting in front of me using her ...
134
votes
18answers
37k views

How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off?

Background: I have a coworker - let's call her Anne - who believes that saving energy wherever possible is everyone's most important responsibility. Anne has made that clear from the day that I joined ...
36
votes
7answers
23k views

What to do if I suspect my friend is stealing from me?

Let's name the suspected stealing friend, Mark. Value of missing items is around 20$. I have been told from my other friends that Mark has been known to be around when things go missing, with a ...
19
votes
6answers
4k views

How to deal with someone who belittles you in social situations

I've been living with my housemate for just over 3 years (June was the 3 year mark). She's female and I'm male. We haven't had any issues living together up until her and her boyfriend broke up in ...
26
votes
7answers
10k views

Carpooling coworker sometimes makes me arrive late or stay late

TL;DR: I drive to work at my own expense. My friend gets a free ride from me, saving her money and time. I say "don't be late" sometimes, and she freaks out. So I live in a metropolitan area and have ...
13
votes
1answer
695 views

How can I lay out my reasons to my girlfriend for why we shouldn't get married?

My girlfriend isn't a citizen of the US and I am. We've also have only been dating for 4 months. So when we first started dating she said that if I wasn't ready for commitment in the range of 1-3 ...
8
votes
1answer
531 views

How can I apologize to coworker while avoiding another lecture?

My colleague Tom has been making me feel bad over a computer game. He's been insulting me and my ability to play this game, both during the game and at work. More info at my previous question: ...
-7
votes
1answer
565 views

How can I disprove a statement that self-validates when I try to disprove it? [closed]

Context: I'm bad at math. My dad makes me do extra math practice every day to catch up (he says that I'm "so far behind"). Problem: I'm honestly putting in my best effort. However, my dad doesn't ...
7
votes
2answers
528 views

How can I tell my friend to chill out?

I have a friend (we'll call them Dallas) who gets frustrated very easily. Not mad, perhaps, but frustrated and short-tempered as a result of some minor incident. A recent example is that we went to a ...
5
votes
1answer
759 views

How do I prevent an absent minded friend from inviting himself to stay with me every year?

I have a friend who is very intelligent but terribly absent minded who sends the odd gift out every couple of months and then announces every year that he will be coming over from the United Kingdom (...
62
votes
9answers
19k views

How can I convince my significant other to stop double standards?

I've been dating my girlfriend for two years (I'm 20 and she's 19) but I often find that we're running into situations where I'm being held to a standard that she won't comply with, despite a joint ...
2
votes
1answer
259 views

Is it appropriate to remove a privelege from my younger brother for bad behavior? [closed]

I own a game that my younger brother who is 10 enjoys playing. Because he enjoys complaining about things I've been allowing him to use some functions on his own time to play it. But this morning he ...
1
vote
1answer
523 views

How to politely kick out someone who tries to take over your work?

I wrote three articles with several colleagues. Now in two of them I was included as second author. I am fine with that as the idea was not mine. The results of my research were used though. But my ...
9
votes
3answers
989 views

Opening up a conversation channel with my fiancee

I've been engaged for 7 months with my girlfriend. We've been in a relationship for 3.5 years, we never got in a fight or went through a breakup, we had great compliance, I spoiled her with gifts, ...
3
votes
2answers
709 views

Heal a damaged friendship

I'm currently an IT student in college, and I encounter an issue with a friend of mine. Each year, a teacher gives to students, projects topics, and he dispatches them according to wishes that ...
14
votes
3answers
2k views

Non-tech savvy roommate thinks I hacked into his computer because when he scans wifi it shows my printer connected

My roommate is a bit paranoid about security and privacy. He’s also not very good with computers. He told me he got a message that his gmail account had been compromised, and recently his laptop has ...
2
votes
1answer
353 views

How to negotiate with brash roommate

I live in a dormitory in Russia with two more roommates. One of them is a nice person so we can take him out of the question. The other one is a problem, though. He moved in last September when the ...
16
votes
6answers
42k views

How can I get my upstairs neighbors to stop stomping on my ceiling?

I've read about asking neighbors to be more quiet but none of the answers help my situation. I live in an older apartment building and my neighbor(s) upstairs tread very heavily when walking on their ...
8
votes
1answer
1k views

I have to work with an ex-friend, how can I limit the awkwardness of the situation?

Context I had this very good friend who told me a few days ago to stop any form of communication that is not work-related. Talking about the situation is not an option as she made it clear that she ...
4
votes
3answers
476 views

Father have a drinking problem, how to talk to him about it?

A bit of backstory: I am a guy in my twenties and living in quite a family-centric culture. My own family is not necessarily very traditional, however there is still some influence from outside. My ...
17
votes
5answers
2k views

How can I react in a constructive way when I've caused hurt or offence? [closed]

I am not a well organised or responsible adult, and I'm often self-absorbed and careless. Not to the point where I have trouble holding down a job or making friends or suchlike, but enough to ensure ...
10
votes
3answers
525 views

How to request close friends to improve food serving cleanliness?

I spent New Year's yesterday at the home of a close friend. I ate dinner at his house along with his family and extended family. I generally enjoy their place except for one thing - lapses in food ...
22
votes
4answers
3k views

How to handle people who don't get along on Stack Exchange?

Active users of Stack Exchange tend to frequent multiple sites and chat rooms, so it means we will tend to bump into the same people in different places. People don't always click, and will disagree ...
1
vote
2answers
664 views

My roommate cheats at jeopardy. How do I respond? [duplicate]

Context For the past few months, my roommates and I have been watching Jeopardy when we all get home at night as a fun activity. Whenever one of us knows an answer, they try to yell it out before the ...
8
votes
3answers
860 views

How to involve the law with minimizing feelings of threatening

Basically I have to give someone I live with notice I will start legal action against them. A roommate's dog will not stop barking. I told her it affects my ability to work and sleep and she said ...
7
votes
2answers
542 views

How to acknowledge an apology without saying thanks

Someone has recognised that their behaviour toward me was unacceptable. What can I say that acknowledge the have apologised without thanking them for it? I'm stuck with : "Thanks, I appreciate ...
4
votes
1answer
444 views

How can I tell my friend to take her medication?

I have a friend who takes medication for anxiety and depression. When she forgets to take her medication she has very specific behaviors, some of which include tantrums, panic attacks, and ...
5
votes
3answers
469 views

How do I get my flat mate to clean up after herself?

I can't live with this situation any more. Every Morning I enter the kitchen there is a huge mess. Dirty pots, plates and food leftovers. I am really not that fussy but I appreciate a general ...
1
vote
1answer
296 views

How to manage the tension caused by conflicts between two of my superiors?

So, this morning when I got to work, I found my two superiors (a project manager and a manager) arguing about some models. I did not see the beginning of the dispute so I can not say what exactly it ...
20
votes
1answer
892 views

How can I follow up if a polite request to follow the rules has been declined?

How should I follow up if a polite request to adhere to the rules is ignored or declined? An Example Dutch trains have special silent compartments (Dutch: stiltecoupé), where people are supposed to ...
3
votes
1answer
738 views

Is this a known Interpersonal “Anti-Skill”, if avoided could de-escalate conflict—or could it be original? I call it “barking” [closed]

I found a bad habit in my conversations. When I stopped doing it myself and became aware of it in others, tensions relaxed and conflict de-escalated. Everything I'm asserting is from my experience: ...
126
votes
18answers
36k views

How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding?

My parents are away from home for little private holidays on a quite regular basis (once every 2/3 months), where they leave me home alone with my 2 brothers for 2-5 days. I'm a 26-year-old female, my ...
6
votes
4answers
1k views

How can I tell someone who's in a vulnerable state the truth?

A very close friend of mine, let's call him David, in his mid-thirties has just (1 year and a half) recovered from a very hard and horrifying for his environment state of drug abuse and isolation that ...
-1
votes
1answer
172 views

Is it normal in a professional environment to inform a director of personal discomfort experienced on their site? [closed]

Should I tell the director of a lab in a business school how I was personally affected about their actions while participating in a study? I am a student and I met them in a professional setting as a ...
4
votes
2answers
656 views

How to deal with the fact my dad raised money for charity, then spent the cash on himself? [closed]

I'm 26, female, living at home with my parents for now (boyfriend left me to get a job abroad, said the relationship was effectively over), and over the past few months my dad was fundraising £40,000 ...
6
votes
1answer
1k views

How to deal with condescension?

I am a software developer. We are a small team of 13 people. This is my first job and I have been with this team for the past one year. I am quite an introvert and don't speak much. My problem is ...
1
vote
1answer
587 views

My Godmother has “cut off ties” with me. How can I apologize in order to fix the relationship?

Me and my Godmother have known each other for a year. During a year, she has helped me a lot, unconditionally love me and support me. We always help each other. However, two weeks ago, we had a ...
-2
votes
1answer
280 views

I had a dispute with my friend who has recently been through a break up. How can I save the relationship? [closed]

Her boyfriend was really manipulative and worked on every possible factor that could make 'him' 'look bad' in her eyes. So he literally did everything in his power to eliminate all people from her ...
1
vote
1answer
657 views

How to tell my parents I want to live in another city and ask them for their support

Background My parents want me and my fiance to move in city A My fiance and I want to live in city B I'm financially dependent on my parents, so they have the upper hand. Not totally dependent, but I ...
3
votes
3answers
612 views

How to deal with confrontational contractor who does not adequately do their job?

I hired a contractor to redo my backyard. The ensuing project was a battle every step of the way. The work needed to be checked nightly; he cut every possible corner; he took 2 months to complete a ...
71
votes
16answers
17k views

How to stop classmate from bullying me [closed]

I am Austrian, 17 years old. After that year, I have one last year left in my school. I have one classmate who never liked me very much. Since this year christmas our relationship got even worse. ...
3
votes
2answers
590 views

How to ask close family and friends to stop casually joking about things that are hurtful to you?

I am an outgoing person. I have no problem interacting with people and making friends, nor do I have an ego problem. But I have recently noticed that sometimes when I am just hanging out with family ...
18
votes
5answers
3k views

How to explain to my girlfriend that I enjoy certain video games?

I would like to ask for advice about my current situation, my girlfriend (26) and I (31) have been together for 2 months now and we really have lots in common and always have a great time together but!...
5
votes
1answer
569 views

How can I rebuild trust with my girlfriend while still hanging out with a friend?

Background I have been with my girlfriend for 5,5 years by now. We love each other, it was a really great time, but not without downs of course. And one of that downs happened 8 months ago. I think I ...
4
votes
1answer
309 views

How can I defuse a violent argument between two people?

TL;DR How can I calm the situation when my mother and sister are violently arguing without the situation backfiring at me? Background The other day, my mother and my little sister (17 years) were ...
26
votes
4answers
27k views

How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan?

TL;DR When my mom bakes a cake for us (whoever is at home but it's usually me, my little sister, my father and her), she uses eggs (which are not vegan), even if I will be there. How can I tell her ...
-5
votes
2answers
407 views

How do I deal with some of my mean classmates? [closed]

Flashback Today when I entered in class, I came late due to the fact that I’m in flow that I stayed on telephone. And when I came to school, I asked Chemistry teacher to annulate my absence, and an ...
11
votes
4answers
2k views

How to keep a difficult phone conversation from escalating?

I have scheduled a phone call with someone I have not spoken to in over two years. The only reason I am talking to them now is because it is very important to my family that I have a cordial, ...
8
votes
3answers
663 views

Balance being respectful with cutting off non-sense

Three of us at the table having dinner. A buddy is talking in a long-winded way about a business idea he has. The idea is pretty unoriginal (import anything from China and sell it on Amazon). As he ...