Questions tagged [conflicts]

For questions with regards to conflicts, such as how to deal with them or how to get involved with one. This tag is typically used for situations where there is already a conflict. If your question covers a potential conflict (possibly about to happen), please use the conflict-aversion tag.

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134
votes
18answers
37k views

How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off?

Background: I have a coworker - let's call her Anne - who believes that saving energy wherever possible is everyone's most important responsibility. Anne has made that clear from the day that I joined ...
128
votes
18answers
36k views

How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding?

My parents are away from home for little private holidays on a quite regular basis (once every 2/3 months), where they leave me home alone with my 2 brothers for 2-5 days. I'm a 26-year-old female, my ...
110
votes
15answers
22k views

How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?

I live with my parents. My father likes to challenge nearly everything I say, up to the point of ridiculousness. I can prove many of the things he challenges but not immediately. In most cases his ...
104
votes
5answers
20k views

How to interrupt someone while they are telling a group wrong/embarrassing information?

I recently read a great question on workplace.se and it reminded me of a similar situation I've come across a couple of times, where I did not know how to interrupt the speaker without embarrassing ...
99
votes
5answers
22k views

How do I protest my child's suspension without “poisoning the well”?

My high-functioning autistic daughter was suspended from summer camp for hitting a smaller child (my daughter's in the oldest grade; everyone is smaller than she is). I agreed at the time to placate ...
83
votes
12answers
22k views

How to defuse or prevent an adult temper tantrum

Background: my partner and I are in our late twenties. We have lived together for about a year. He does maybe 20% of the housework, arguing that I have more free time because I work fewer hours. When ...
80
votes
8answers
21k views

Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence

Background I have a group of friends, and we've known each other for about 7 years now. We once all were colleagues. One of these friends, Alice, has an autism spectrum disorder. This friend got ...
75
votes
14answers
27k views

How can I convince my partner to accept my best friend instead of wanting to break up?

Background My partner (27F) and I (26M) have been together for about a year. We live together. Throughout our relationship, my partner has been jealous of my friendship with my best friend (25F) of 4 ...
72
votes
16answers
17k views

How to stop classmate from bullying me [closed]

I am Austrian, 17 years old. After that year, I have one last year left in my school. I have one classmate who never liked me very much. Since this year christmas our relationship got even worse. ...
68
votes
10answers
23k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip?

A situation came up with my girlfriend where I drove her to an event that she needed to go to that was a two hour drive away (so a four hour round trip). After we got back, I charged her for half of ...
62
votes
9answers
19k views

How can I convince my significant other to stop double standards?

I've been dating my girlfriend for two years (I'm 20 and she's 19) but I often find that we're running into situations where I'm being held to a standard that she won't comply with, despite a joint ...
60
votes
5answers
14k views

Dealing with small crimes as a volunteer

Every now and then I volunteer for an association, organizing big role play events in my country (by big I mean several days with between several hundred people, so nothing at the national scale, but ...
57
votes
6answers
17k views

Stepmother wants me to sign for life insurance without consulting a lawyer, how do I tell her that I will only do this after talking to one?

Background: I am a 20 years old male, living alone in Austria I have two stepsisters and a stepmother and my father is deceased I lived together with my stepmother for the last 10 years, but moved ...
56
votes
10answers
10k views

In non-violent communication, what to do when “I feel…” statements fail?

Non-Violent Communication seems to be a common piece of advice when it comes to conflict resolution. So far as I understand, NVC promotes the use of "I-statements": saying things like, I feel X ...
55
votes
10answers
18k views

How do I avoid strange questions because of a flag?

First of I should mention that I like Russia, have been there and I just like the people, the culture, the architecture. Pretty much every friend/coworker/family members knows and accepts that. But ...
54
votes
14answers
22k views

How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons?

My girlfriend has a tendency of getting fixated on things she thinks true, when she won't listen to any reasoning and starts arguing with me. We are in our late twenties and we have been together for ...
52
votes
12answers
15k views

How to effectively give out a last warning?

I'm a very calm person. You can insult or harass me a long time before I actually react. But when I react, I tend to go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds (think, from looking visibly displeased to ...
50
votes
8answers
12k views

How can I stand by my SO when she stresses out in an aggressive way?

My girlfriend and I have polar ways of handling stress and conflict. I come from a very conflict-averse family: when one parent is angry for something (not necessarily for reasons related to the ...
47
votes
7answers
8k views

How do I deal with someone people think is funny, but I think is mean?

There is someone that dropped out of college but still visits our friend group about once a month who tries to be funny by making intentionally hurtful comments to 2 or 3 different people in the group ...
46
votes
12answers
13k views

How can I try to have my mom help me understand why she won't accept a sincere apology?

Background: About 8 years ago, we started having some serious trouble with a couple of neighbors (which slowly escalated to call-the-cops and get-a-lawyer kind of trouble). There was some property ...
44
votes
4answers
18k views

How to tell a “friend” to stop pretending to flirt with my girlfriend?

There's this acquaintance of both my girlfriend and I that pretends to flirt with my girlfriend. Neither of us are close enough with him to classify him as a "friend," though both my girlfriend and I ...
42
votes
10answers
14k views

How to answer a technical question without sounding patronizing

Context : My girlfriend (let's call her V) and I, are programmers, and sometimes we ask each other questions when we believe the other may have an answer. A few times, she’s told me that I sounded ...
41
votes
5answers
12k views

How do I tell other parents that their child is a bully?

Our son is 6 years old. One of the other kids in his class is a bully. This other boy (we'll call him Walter) likes to sneak up on my son, and physically hurt him. Sometimes Walter will punch him in ...
39
votes
6answers
13k views

How to approach the situation where someone “steals” your table?

Part of my daily routine is having an early morning coffee with my wife at this cute little coffee house near our work. Said coffee house is usually packed so finding a table is a gambit, especially ...
37
votes
7answers
25k views

What to do if I suspect my friend is stealing from me?

Let's name the suspected stealing friend, Mark. Value of missing items is around 20$. I have been told from my other friends that Mark has been known to be around when things go missing, with a ...
36
votes
8answers
11k views

Encouraging bystanders to step up

I ran into a rather nasty one this past weekend. I was out with a close friend at a party and could very clearly hear people making exceptionally nasty homophobic and transphobic comments, up to and ...
35
votes
8answers
22k views

How to deal with girlfriend cancelling weekends plan

In the middle of the year (around June) my girlfriend mentioned that she would go to a friend's party. She didn't mention the exact date, she didn't know when it would be. In the last couple of weeks,...
35
votes
12answers
9k views

How to stop family from pushing me to forgive and forget?

(Some similarities to this question, except that I have explained, and my family is not on my side.) I have been avoiding / ignoring my sister for the past ~6 months, after she seriously hurt me. I ...
34
votes
11answers
11k views

How can I politely tell my fellow tenants that I am not the caretaker?

I have 3 fellow tenants in the same building where I live. Every Monday evening, the refuse bins must be put out in the street so that the next morning the company could collect the garbage and empty ...
33
votes
11answers
10k views

Is a verbal response that directly expresses anger always the wrong choice? [closed]

Me: I understand, I'm just saying that I had plans but cancelled them because you said you were gonna show. Him: Well if I knew you were going to be such a baby about it, I would have told you I ...
31
votes
4answers
10k views

How to tell an older colleague that they are not superior to me?

I've got a communication issue with my colleague, let's call her Alice. Alice seems to feel superior to me just because she is about 20 years older than me. We were hired for the same position at the ...
30
votes
11answers
9k views

Resolve conflicts with my roommates now that my parents expect my cat, which occasionally poops outside its litter box, to stay with me permanently

I've had my cat for the past 13 years and it is very important to me. The cat used to live at my parents place, as did I; I moved out two years ago. Recently, my parents took a 4-month vacation and I ...
29
votes
11answers
14k views

How to deal with a friend I live with who doesn't want to pay bills when he's not there?

I have a friend; let's call him X. My girlfriend, X, and I have all lived together (on paper) for about a year and a half. About 6 months ago he got a girlfriend who lives a few hours away. For the ...
29
votes
2answers
6k views

How to inform someone that you stumbled upon private information publicly available on their personal site? [closed]

Note: I created a new account for this question because asking it on my regular account could probably lead to identification of the person it's about. On one of the many other StackExchange sites, ...
26
votes
4answers
27k views

How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan?

TL;DR When my mom bakes a cake for us (whoever is at home but it's usually me, my little sister, my father and her), she uses eggs (which are not vegan), even if I will be there. How can I tell her ...
26
votes
7answers
11k views

Carpooling coworker sometimes makes me arrive late or stay late

TL;DR: I drive to work at my own expense. My friend gets a free ride from me, saving her money and time. I say "don't be late" sometimes, and she freaks out. So I live in a metropolitan area and have ...
25
votes
8answers
9k views

How to convince people I'm not stealing their food?

I am living in UK university accommodation where everyone has their own room and about 8 or so of us share a kitchen. Over the course of the year food (including mine) was going missing and because ...
25
votes
8answers
4k views

How should I handle the “loudest” voice in a group project? [closed]

I am in a Software Engineering class in college. Person A likes to be the voice of everyone. For example, I would ask "What do you think of this?" And without any discussion and a very immediate ...
24
votes
3answers
6k views

How should I discuss on which side of the family to spend Christmas with?

This year I suggested that we make the 19 hour drive to go see my family. Travel Saturday and Sunday, and then travel back the next weekend. My wife seems to be on board with it, however, she still ...
24
votes
3answers
6k views

Sick grandparent(s) moved in and are now inciting anger and stress

We're a family of three, my mom, my dad and I. My dad's father has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and, based on what we know so far, there's no chance for a recovery and not much life is ...
23
votes
6answers
6k views

How to let someone know he hurt me without spreading negative feelings

I am living in a flat with 3 other persons, 2 females and 1 male. I am a 25 year old male too. I have some romantic feelings for one of the female flatmates, Alice, but we have never spoken about it ...
22
votes
5answers
6k views

How should someone apologize when both parties were wrong?

The situation: I had been involved for several years in a group my child participates in and I was put in charge of a subgroup. Realizing I needed more adult assistance, I asked for help from an ...
22
votes
4answers
3k views

How to handle people who don't get along on Stack Exchange?

Active users of Stack Exchange tend to frequent multiple sites and chat rooms, so it means we will tend to bump into the same people in different places. People don't always click, and will disagree ...
21
votes
3answers
4k views

Tips on reassuring partner with bad experiences with previous partners

So... I'm looking at trying to help my current partner (girlfriend) help overcome her emotions when we get in a little bit of a minor argument about random topics and she gets emotional about me ...
20
votes
1answer
925 views

How can I follow up if a polite request to follow the rules has been declined?

How should I follow up if a polite request to adhere to the rules is ignored or declined? An Example Dutch trains have special silent compartments (Dutch: stiltecoupé), where people are supposed to ...
19
votes
6answers
4k views

How to deal with someone who belittles you in social situations

I've been living with my housemate for just over 3 years (June was the 3 year mark). She's female and I'm male. We haven't had any issues living together up until her and her boyfriend broke up in ...
18
votes
6answers
14k views

My boyfriend has issues with his parents, how do I support him without ending up in his parents bad books? [closed]

Some Background My boyfriend (bf) is 21, living at home. He is the youngest of three boys (his brothers are 29 and 23 respectively, neither of them are at home much). His parents are 54 (mom) and 65 (...
18
votes
5answers
3k views

How to explain to my girlfriend that I enjoy certain video games?

I would like to ask for advice about my current situation, my girlfriend (26) and I (31) have been together for 2 months now and we really have lots in common and always have a great time together but!...
18
votes
5answers
2k views

How can I react in a constructive way when I've caused hurt or offence? [closed]

I am not a well organised or responsible adult, and I'm often self-absorbed and careless. Not to the point where I have trouble holding down a job or making friends or suchlike, but enough to ensure ...
17
votes
3answers
6k views

My brother messes up his life (and those of other family members) by doing nothing. How to have a talk with him about this?

TL;DR: My 30 years-old brother messes up his life, and those of other family members, by doing nothing. I need my brother to open up and explain his point of view, so that I can understand him. How ...