Questions tagged [conflicts]

For questions with regards to conflicts, such as how to deal with them or how to get involved with one. This tag is typically used for situations where there is already a conflict. If your question covers a potential conflict (possibly about to happen), please use the conflict-aversion tag.

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Talking to your girlfriend about her personal messages you read by chance?

While using my girlfriend's laptop I happened to see a message notification from a guy she met on holiday just before we started dating. I was working and she was sitting in front of me using her ...
drSlump's user avatar
  • 299
8 votes
2 answers
442 views

How could I have better handled this interaction with a hired company to complete a project?

I've been dealing with a company I hired to perform a personal job (install a product on my property) for over a year ago. It's been an incredibly frustrating experience; fraught with delays, lack of ...
fbueckert's user avatar
  • 189
8 votes
2 answers
870 views

How can I talk with these people that I owe money to solve the situation?

Background First, about me. I've got Asperger's and (social) anxiety. I started my first job after college a bit over a year ago and moved into a nice apartment with a fully furnished kitchen and ...
Belle's user avatar
  • 8,030
8 votes
3 answers
696 views

Balance being respectful with cutting off non-sense

Three of us at the table having dinner. A buddy is talking in a long-winded way about a business idea he has. The idea is pretty unoriginal (import anything from China and sell it on Amazon). As he ...
M3RS's user avatar
  • 183
8 votes
1 answer
850 views

How can I apologize to coworker while avoiding another lecture?

My colleague Tom has been making me feel bad over a computer game. He's been insulting me and my ability to play this game, both during the game and at work. More info at my previous question: ...
Belle's user avatar
  • 8,030
8 votes
2 answers
768 views

How to temper conflict in close relationships [closed]

I was reading some of the answers to this question and it got me to thinking. I can't control another person's reaction to me, but I can perhaps temper my own approach when dealing with conflict. ...
Michael's user avatar
  • 191
8 votes
2 answers
2k views

How to explain to roommate from India if I'm with a guest it's not a good time to discuss roommate issues?

I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She ...
Tuberiform's user avatar
8 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to deal with condescension?

I am a software developer. We are a small team of 13 people. This is my first job and I have been with this team for the past one year. I am quite an introvert and don't speak much. My problem is ...
anonuser's user avatar
8 votes
1 answer
543 views

How to finish a project with a dishonest and unreliable partner without jeopardizing it

Context: I just completed a 2-month long science research project with my friend as a partner. The project was elective and beyond our assigned coursework. We presented the work at a fair last week ...
limitsandlogs224's user avatar
8 votes
2 answers
1k views

How to tell a sister-in-law I don't like her how much personal content she sends me?

My husband is Indian and I am South American. We live in Europe and we deal well with our cultural differences, we talk and reach consensus most of the time. It turns out that my husband's sister-in-...
Karina Rosa's user avatar
7 votes
5 answers
15k views

Friend gets mad and hangs up on me

A friend of mine calls for support. The common theme is she is a victim. From the tone of her voice I can tell when she just wants to vent. I can repeat literally 40 times "yes that is not fair". If ...
paparazzo's user avatar
  • 1,605
7 votes
1 answer
715 views

Resolving conficts with customers as a waiter

I recently had an unpleasant experience with one of customers in a club where I work as a waiter on weekends (it's my weekend job to get some money as a student). So far, I haven't had any unpleasant ...
friderik's user avatar
  • 173
7 votes
3 answers
1k views

How to explain our frustration over a trip being rescheduled without us?

My wife's parents often take a specific type of expensive vacation (it's like a timeshare). They asked us last year to save time in 2019 for us to go with them on a Christmas trip. We found out over ...
Azor Ahai -him-'s user avatar
7 votes
2 answers
3k views

How to acknowledge an apology without saying thanks

Someone has recognised that their behaviour toward me was unacceptable. What can I say that acknowledge the have apologised without thanking them for it? I'm stuck with : "Thanks, I appreciate ...
Mr Giggles's user avatar
7 votes
1 answer
704 views

Confront supposed harassment/abuse on a bus stop

Scenario: You walk by a bus station and notice a, supposedly, couple that behaves suspicious. The woman seems to be afraid of the man (stares to the ground, submissive posture, he holds her arm ...
upe's user avatar
  • 173
7 votes
3 answers
1k views

How can my family and I reconcile with my son-in-law?

My son-in-law wants nothing to do with my family and I'd really like to change that and have him as part of the family. Some background information about how we got here is needed, my daughter met ...
SadDad4099's user avatar
7 votes
2 answers
3k views

How to get my stuff back from my ex-girlfriend?

My ex-girlfriend and I have been separated for months, and she still has some of my personal stuff. As our relation ended in a bad manner we don't speak a lot to each other. She said at multiple times ...
Med's user avatar
  • 231
7 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to deal with a toxic group leader?

So I'm in this group of friends that have been around for a few years, over a few interactions I have developed a toxic relationship with one of the people in this group. I have tried to talk to him ...
AnonymousT's user avatar
7 votes
4 answers
1k views

How can I tell someone who's in a vulnerable state the truth?

A very close friend of mine, let's call him David, in his mid-thirties has just (1 year and a half) recovered from a very hard and horrifying for his environment state of drug abuse and isolation that ...
oupoup's user avatar
  • 71
7 votes
2 answers
1k views

How can I survive in a 'guess' culture?

Recently I read an article on 'ask' and 'guess' culture1, and it brought me a lot of clarity. It explains the reason behind many of the interpersonal conflicts that I faced during the past 10-20 years ...
Jean Diharo's user avatar
7 votes
2 answers
1k views

How can I tell my friend to chill out?

I have a friend (we'll call them Dallas) who gets frustrated very easily. Not mad, perhaps, but frustrated and short-tempered as a result of some minor incident. A recent example is that we went to a ...
Chris Cirefice's user avatar
6 votes
2 answers
1k views

Ending with my therapist

I’ve been with this therapist for almost a year with the initial purpose of recovering from an abusive relationship. A lot of other stuff in life (loss of job, sick parent, etc.) has happened during ...
Storm's user avatar
  • 993
6 votes
2 answers
3k views

My classmate is sharing pictures of my mom without her knowledge. How can I make him stop?

A few days back my classmate shared a picture of my mom (her facebook profile picture) on a subreddit for cum tributes, and sent a screenshot to me. After much threatening and requesting I was able to ...
Sammuel Brown's user avatar
6 votes
4 answers
2k views

How to deal with someone who is yelling in order to give the impression that they are right?

I have met people that use this pattern as a way to end a conversation as 'winners' when they have an argument with another person in front of others: they just yell their opinion at the one they are ...
clueless's user avatar
  • 2,612
6 votes
2 answers
7k views

How to (politely) tell someone they are not welcome in your home

A friend of mine, Chris, recently had a massive falling out with their "step-mom", Mary. That part they've learned to accept, but the problem is that Mary is the mother to one of Chris' siblings that ...
DCOPTimDowd's user avatar
6 votes
1 answer
775 views

Asking people to step up in a volunteer organization

Something I've noticed in just about every organization that I've been a part of is the old adage: In any organization 10% of the people do 90% of the work. This seems particularly true in ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.9k
6 votes
2 answers
1k views

How to be accountable for your actions but not responsible for others' needs? [closed]

In Nonviolent Communication and other communication frameworks, there's the concept of having responsibility for your own feelings and needs. In other words, if you want something from others, it's ...
Gregory Avery-Weir's user avatar
6 votes
5 answers
903 views

How can I alleviate someone's upset feelings when I'm not getting a concept they're explaining?

I've been working on a particular website project with a friend from an old job I had. We started with our idea, and are at the point of going through network security for the login information, but I'...
Anoplexian's user avatar
  • 3,358
6 votes
1 answer
652 views

Effectively communicating that I am not withholding information

I am a twenty-four old man and I live with my mother. I have never been in any romantic relationship with anyone all my life. I wanted to take up a job and move out as soon as I graduated but my ...
user avatar
6 votes
2 answers
553 views

How do I respectfully ask my co-worker if he had received false negative feedback made on my account?

Recently I have noticed that the relationship I had built with a co-worker seemed to be eroding. One of the possible reasons might be my manager giving false negative feedback to him on my account. ...
Storm's user avatar
  • 993
5 votes
1 answer
879 views

How to deal with a person that's not able to argue based on facts

It's a bit of a long story. TL;DR at the bottom I am in a martial arts club for ~10 years. My trainer is not a friend of Japanese dojo style but he made the training more open and like a workshop, ...
CKA's user avatar
  • 161
5 votes
1 answer
766 views

How can I rebuild trust with my girlfriend while still hanging out with a friend?

Background I have been with my girlfriend for 5,5 years by now. We love each other, it was a really great time, but not without downs of course. And one of that downs happened 8 months ago. I think I ...
LostInWords's user avatar
5 votes
2 answers
2k views

How to make others respect your property (car)?

My girlfriend and I bought a used car together a few months ago. Although it wasn't too expensive, it is in a good condition, we take care of it, and like it very much. I participate in a team sport ...
user avatar
5 votes
1 answer
883 views

Seeking closure over someone I have unblocked but whom I learned have passed on [closed]

There was someone close to me whom I blocked for a couple of years - we used to get on really well until he confessed his feelings for me and things got messy/ ugly. Since the negative feelings have ...
Regrets's user avatar
  • 59
5 votes
1 answer
1k views

How do I prevent an absent minded friend from inviting himself to stay with me every year?

I have a friend who is very intelligent but terribly absent minded who sends the odd gift out every couple of months and then announces every year that he will be coming over from the United Kingdom (...
MissTaurus's user avatar
5 votes
2 answers
842 views

How to deal with the fact my dad raised money for charity, then spent the cash on himself? [closed]

I'm 26, female, living at home with my parents for now (boyfriend left me to get a job abroad, said the relationship was effectively over), and over the past few months my dad was fundraising £40,000 ...
jen612hsh's user avatar
5 votes
2 answers
737 views

Persuade community staff to be more lenient on unwritten "rules" about hot tub

My wife, my children, and I arrived yesterday for a 2 week stay at a "senior" style 55+ Florida RV park with a hot tub. We are very well informed of the risks associated with children enjoying hot ...
Cory Klein's user avatar
5 votes
2 answers
983 views

How can I ask my housemate to put my things back?

Summary A housemate of mine is doing something to my property which I don't like. Please help me in finding a solution towards the greater issue of solving housemate disputes. Some mornings, a ...
user avatar
5 votes
2 answers
632 views

How to deal with conflict when I agree with and sympathize with both parties

Background My 13-year-old brother suffers from depression that has lead to anger issues. He also hangs out with the wrong crowd. Prior to and leading up to his birthday he kept insisting that he ...
Name's user avatar
  • 145
5 votes
2 answers
593 views

How can I support someone who is repeatedly being untruthful?

Someone I am close to is repeatedly being untruthful towards me, in the sense that they are "making up" events, usually for the sake of empathy. The first instance where I noticed they were ...
Guest's user avatar
  • 51
5 votes
2 answers
754 views

How to respond to a baseless accusation/claim without owning the burden of proof?

An honest response to an accusation should be constructive. One way to achieve that is to express empathy, question,break down broad terms(if any) into specific instances and address each of them. But ...
old-monk's user avatar
  • 351
5 votes
2 answers
965 views

How to help a friend think about the impact of her actions when I am losing my patience?

I am writing to ask for advice about a friend of mine, let's call her A. A and I have known each other since our childhood and have been very close for most of our friendship. Recently there has ...
frustrated's user avatar
5 votes
3 answers
525 views

How do I get my flat mate to clean up after herself?

I can't live with this situation any more. Every Morning I enter the kitchen there is a huge mess. Dirty pots, plates and food leftovers. I am really not that fussy but I appreciate a general ...
J.schmidt's user avatar
  • 151
5 votes
4 answers
1k views

How can I make peace with my younger brother

Personally, I am a 21-year-old male, and my family consists of my mum, dad and a younger brother aged 17. To provide an overall context of my family before I talk about the problem. Analysis of ...
Prashin Jeevaganth's user avatar
5 votes
1 answer
571 views

Re-establishing friendship long after fight

I tried searching on and off for a couple days to find a question like this and much to my surprise, I was unable to find one. I found a couple about contacting old friends, but they make no mention ...
iDriveSidewayz's user avatar
4 votes
2 answers
3k views

What can I do when classmates don’t stop recording me after I ask them to stop?

I’m 18 years old in grade 11 in a high school in Bucharest. Some of my classmates wanted to make photos and videos of me and I hate that. I tried to tell them “enough!!” but they don’t listen. Q-1: ...
Alex A's user avatar
  • 587
4 votes
3 answers
3k views

How to effectively communicate to my mother that she sometimes suppresses me even if she doesn't realize it?

My mother and I had a serious fight over the holidays. I didn't spend New Year with her because some friends invited me and my partner to join them and they live a few hours away. It was last minute ...
Tycho's Nose's user avatar
  • 7,506
4 votes
4 answers
2k views

How to deal with neighbors making accusations but won't hear me out?

I recently received an angry knock on my door from a neighbor (renters) falsely accusing me of throwing an old newspaper into their front yard. I offered to pull my newspapers from the trash to prove ...
Anon John's user avatar
4 votes
2 answers
3k views

How to ask my father to not get angry because my tutor is male

TL;DR: Dealing with a father that gets angry because my out of school tutor is male. I’m 18 years old and male. Currently, I am pursuing 12th year education (the final year of high school) and am very ...
Alex A's user avatar
  • 587
4 votes
3 answers
788 views

How can I express disagreement to my boss without him feeling insulted every time I share my ideas?

The company I recently joined is owned and being run by a single person: my boss. He knew me from earlier in person a little, so he called me one day over the phone, to leave my previous employer ...
AndrewBG's user avatar