Questions tagged [conversations]

Questions about having conversations with other people, and how to achieve certain things when having them. This can be covering (or avoiding) certain topics, starting them, keeping them going or bringing them to a close.

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206
votes
19answers
32k views

How do I deal with people trying to convince me to wear makeup?

I don't wear makeup. I have worn it 3 times in my life, and the last time was a really light amount for my wedding 10 years ago. My reasons for not wearing makeup are varied and personal. The main ...
181
votes
12answers
38k views

How can I convey to my technologically inept parents that my IT job is mentally draining

To preface my question, I am an Irish 21 year old male currently on a college work placement. I work Monday through Friday from 7:30 AM - 5:00 PM as an RPA developer and Business Analyst. I commute ...
145
votes
16answers
25k views

Arguing science with a passionate non-scientist?

As a physician for more than three decades and a Molecular Biologist before that, I know a lot of science and medicine (I also keep up with the literature.) I find that people hold on tightly to ...
140
votes
24answers
35k views

How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me?

I am a vegan, only for ethical reasons. It is something I'm very willing to discuss. I have deliberated about it very carefully, for a long time, and have read papers and text books on the philosophy ...
133
votes
13answers
30k views

How can I explain to people that a programmer isn't a computer technician?

In Italy, a lot of people keep thinking that programmers are computer technicians. A programmer does completely different things, and in a company, I'm not the guy who should assemble your computer ...
132
votes
18answers
27k views

How to get spouse to empathetically listen to problems instead of offering solutions?

My spouse and I have a recurring problem. I will try to talk about my day, which may include a tough problem that has been frustrating me. Before I've even had a chance to explain what is going on, he ...
129
votes
12answers
42k views

I'm 24 with a 4-year-old son. How to handle uncomfortable questions from people?

I'm 24 years old and I have a 4 year old son who was conceived by accident. I don't know about other countries but that's definitely not usual in mine (Spain). My son's mother and I broke up about ...
119
votes
18answers
53k views

How to talk to a girl who's sitting next to me but wearing headphones?

Over the past couple of weeks, there's been this really cute girl who sits near me inside a coffee shop, which has a cozy, "productive" vibe to it -- everyone's doing work on their laptops. I want to ...
108
votes
7answers
21k views

How to avoid explaining science to strangers

So, I was at a Barbeque the other day and a situation occurred that, well, I'm getting tired of. It happens almost every time I meet a new group of people. When you meet someone, eventually you come ...
104
votes
12answers
21k views

Meeting someone who used to bully me

When I was at school, I received quite a lot of verbal bullying. This waxed and waned over the years, and generally it was patchy enough that I could put up with it in the long term, even if in the ...
99
votes
9answers
17k views

Refusing free goods as a blind person

As a severely visually impaired person, I use a white cane in the public and unfamiliar shops for identification purposes and as a mobility aid. I regularly encounter sellers at bakeries or fast food ...
98
votes
8answers
18k views

My best friend has become increasingly xenophobic towards Muslims. What do I do?

My best friend (let's call him Bob for potential answerers) whom I have been friends with since childhood (around 15 years) has become increasingly xenophobic recently. He's a great person and ...
98
votes
5answers
21k views

How to talk to a one night stand about her potential breast lumps issues?

I'm Brazilian, 23, and I went on a date with a Tinder match yesterday afternoon. At some point things got more intense and as I was fondling her breasts I felt two big lumps on her left one. We've ...
97
votes
11answers
65k views

How to respond to someone when they ask how much you earn? [closed]

When I'm at social gatherings/parties, people would inquire about my job and, because I'm an app developer, they think I earn substantially more than I do. (Oh, the joy!) They then follow up asking ...
94
votes
16answers
24k views

How to address a double standard where my religious colleagues consider it OK to discuss religion, but then ask me not to?

I'm working in a small office of about ten employees, all of whom are religious apart from myself. Although I'm open about my atheism and write about it on my blog, I am careful not to discuss ...
94
votes
5answers
13k views

How to help a male-presenting person shop for women's clothes?

I'm a new store manager for a women's clothing store and I have been receiving male-presenting customers that are looking for women's clothes for themselves. I want to give them the best, supportive ...
90
votes
13answers
34k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to be my gym buddy without hurting her feelings?

I've recently started dating a girl and we're an item, and are happy hanging out together. We have strong feelings for each other. She is somewhat overweight (not hugely so but not at a healthy ...
86
votes
11answers
44k views

Disclosing my past relationships to my girlfriend

My girlfriend and I are both in our early 20's in the US. We have been together for almost 3 years and have been living together for a few months now. While I've been with other girls before her, I ...
84
votes
10answers
15k views

How do I respond when someone is glad their loved one's suffering will end soon due to death?

I recently had a conversation like this: Coworker: I just wanted to let you know that I'm probably going to be out early next week. My father is on death's door. Me: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. ...
81
votes
22answers
20k views

Is it rude to ask tourists where they are from?

“So… Where are you from?” It's normal small talk for us, most Indians; and only general whereabouts is expected. In my tours in India, I've met some foreigners along the way, usually western. I ...
80
votes
13answers
27k views

Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger?

This seems to be a fairly common scenario. Since I don't work in a public environment anymore, it's been something that hasn't crossed my mind in a long while. However, today while paying for a few ...
79
votes
17answers
20k views

How to talk to someone about being chronically late - not to fix it, just to get more accurate ETAs?

I've been friends with "Susan" for about 8 years now. She's part of my inner circle of best friends and the four of us meet up at my house every couple of weekends to play games and hang out....
75
votes
23answers
32k views

Is it rude to ask someone where they are from originally? [closed]

Introduction This question is different from this excellent one, since it is not about tourists. The differences will become clear later on, I hope. I will, as usual, use fake names (Alice and Eve ...
74
votes
21answers
34k views

How can I deal diplomatically with a feminist neighbor who continuously delivers political speeches in private?

This question is unlikely to have a very strong cultural context so I welcome answers from members all over the world. I met this person (code name Jane D) when I was studying sociology at Masters ...
74
votes
12answers
17k views

How to convince my parents I'm happy with my social life?

Context I'm 19 years old and I live with my mother. I completed an apprenticeship in software engineering earlier this year. I'm now working full time at the company where I finished my ...
74
votes
11answers
23k views

How do I tell a potential partner about my autism?

Background I recently met a woman on a dating app and we hit it off. Last night we went on our first date, which went very well and we are planning to go out again. I am interested in potentially ...
73
votes
10answers
26k views

How to talk about my comfortable lifestyle without sounding like I'm bragging?

Most of my friends have gone down the marriage with 2.4 kids route. Great for them but it does eat most of their time/money. Not having done that, I can afford a decent house, to have a couple of ...
73
votes
5answers
11k views

How to maintain healthy conversation with a partner long term

So my partner and I have dating for a couple years, and it's definitely been a relationship of learning. Our communication feels pretty healthy. However, now as we're finishing college/university, we ...
70
votes
9answers
19k views

Responding to my mom's remarks about my love life when she refuses to accept/acknowledge it

Background I'm the only child in a religious, conservative family. We do not see eye to eye on many current events, as they often only watch a single (biased) news source, and stand their ground on ...
70
votes
10answers
28k views

When and how do I tell the person I've been "Netflix and chilling" with that I love her?

We have been seeing each other for almost 3 months, she is 24, I'm 26 years old. We did not 'date' in the regular way, but she comes over to my place regularly (weekly), where we usually 'netflix and ...
70
votes
6answers
30k views

How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people

Context I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., ...
70
votes
9answers
16k views

How to politely deflect questions about awkward scars?

Content warning: Self-harm Due to some issues I had a few years ago with self harming (related to mental health issues which I no longer have - hurrah!), I'm left with a lot of awkward scars on my ...
69
votes
10answers
21k views

How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues

Now this is a sensitive topic, and I do not wish to offend anyone's sensibilities - but at the same time, I want to know of an effective way of dealing with the disproportionate emotional work ...
68
votes
10answers
23k views

How to stop a colleague from talking to me about work when I'm on my lunch break?

More often than not, I eat my lunch at my desk. There aren't any shops or cafés nearby, so this suits me just fine. I usually put my headphones in and browse the news or SE to take a break from work. ...
64
votes
8answers
15k views

How can I ask my guests to leave?

Some weeks ago my girlfriend and I invited another couple to our home, which is about 15 minutes away from theirs. I hadn't seen them in years and my girlfriend didn't know them at all. So they got to ...
64
votes
3answers
12k views

How do I talk to my wife about unrealistic expectations?

I have been married less than a year and we are both quite young, which is partly why I'm posting on here for advice. My wife has recently been 'complaining' that she finds it difficult that she can'...
63
votes
9answers
24k views

How do I handle strangers who want to "borrow" a cigarette and give nothing in return?

I'm a Spanish 26 year old guy. I have the appearance of what people would call "loser good guy", so when I'm hanging out (mainly at night clubs) it's really frequent people ask out for a cigarette (...
61
votes
12answers
20k views

How can I remind someone to do a task when reminding them makes them less likely to do it?

I have a bit of a problem with my girlfriend, in that things aren't getting done because she is forgetful about things she doesn't like to do. We've had many discussions on the topic, and we both ...
60
votes
7answers
23k views

How to ask for a wish from a woman?

For context, I am a twenty-four-year-old man. Recently I made the acquaintance of a woman who is twelve years older than myself. I was instantly struck by her extreme beauty and made efforts to form a ...
60
votes
17answers
24k views

Answer to: "Why aren't you with your boyfriend right now?"

I have a boyfriend, but still live with my parents and siblings. We've been dating for 8 months. It seems that every time I have a spare moment with my significant other (SO) not present, someone's ...
60
votes
6answers
19k views

How do I tell a woman that her pants have a menstruation stain?

I was working in my work space today and a female coworker came to give me some information that I needed, then left. I'm male. Suddenly, when she was on her way back to her work space, I saw a ...
58
votes
15answers
19k views

How can I tell non-parents, "Wait and see until you have kids" without being cliché and obnoxious?

I am in my early 30's, married, and have multiple young children. I have a lot of co-workers in the same age bracket that doesn't have children but are on the path (newly married, or engaged, kids in ...
58
votes
10answers
20k views

How to politely interrupt recruiters who keep cold-calling me during my work hours?

About a year and a half ago I was waist deep in a job search. Having found a new job, I've since attempted to remove my resume from the internet. However, this hasn't stopped recruiters from finding ...
57
votes
5answers
13k views

How do I convince someone formalities between internet friends aren't necessary over a casual, informal text chat?

I have a friend of mine who absolutely refuses to begin conversations online by just asking me what they want, and instead insists on formalities that drive me crazy. We're online gaming friends, so ...
56
votes
18answers
15k views

How do you deal with someone who's pushing you without explaining yourself?

There are certain people, especially family members you see from time to time or other close relatives, who simply don't know where to stop when offering you something. Usually it's about drinking ...
56
votes
11answers
14k views

How to respond to questions that feel like I have to defend the relationship I'm in

I'm 18, my girlfriend is 23. We've known each other for a few years, been together for a few weeks. Sometimes people (a mix of family and acquaintances) will ask questions like "Isn't that a too big ...
54
votes
10answers
18k views

How do I avoid strange questions because of a flag?

First of I should mention that I like Russia, have been there and I just like the people, the culture, the architecture. Pretty much every friend/coworker/family members knows and accepts that. But ...
54
votes
17answers
10k views

Maintaining honesty while being comforting in response to insecurity about relationship?

My wife and I are happily married and have a great relationship, but my wife is on occasion plagued by feelings of insecurity and concern that I am unhappy and want to leave the relationship. These ...
54
votes
18answers
35k views

How do I dismiss a stranger asking for money?

I'm not sure if the answers to Appropriate ways to dismiss street vendors? apply to this situation, as it is about people asking for money without a compensation. That's why I'm asking a new question ...
54
votes
4answers
18k views

How to tell a trans couple that their overly romantic behaviour makes you uncomfortable, without coming across transphobic?

Intro: We all have seen a couple who are so in love they have lengthy kisses in public, always display affection, call each other cute names and wherever they go or sit, they always appear to cuddle. ...

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