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Questions tagged [coworkers]

For questions about interacting with one's coworkers, whether local or remote.

2
votes
2answers
439 views

Letting people know they don't owe me directly

I've recently been able to afford things rather easily and I also live with flatmates (who are also coworkers). We all make the same amount and share a lot of stuff. Whenever I feel like it, I just ...
14
votes
2answers
798 views

How to support a coworker with her insecurity, while not going against my own opinions?

I have a new-ish co-worker. Before I landed in this team we already had some contact, we enjoyed having lunches together and often chatted over a cup of coffee. We seem to be developing a friendship, ...
12
votes
1answer
738 views

How to tactfully respond to compliments when I don't feel I deserve them?

I'm the most senior developer on my current team, and I often get asked for help by my teammates. Sometimes when they ask for help, it's with something that I think is fairly obvious or easy to do. ...
6
votes
2answers
545 views

How to stop someone from helping you?

Today, I had some difficulties with an Excel function so, after a meeting, I asked two of my coworkers if they knew how to solve my issue (since I thought it was an easy problem and they have more ...
4
votes
1answer
423 views

How to tell my manager that I am lacking a work assignment while not making my colleague look bad?

I am in a new job for a few months now. I just recently finished all my training projects and I'm now waiting for new instructions on how to proceed. The colleague responsible for training me has been ...
4
votes
3answers
245 views

How to invite my band-members/coworkers to give me feedback on my performance?

I recently joined a music band that's composed of four colleagues with who I don't work (different projects & teams), but I know them well since we have lunch and banter next to the watercooler ...
5
votes
1answer
704 views

Colleague making me feel bad over a game

A group of colleagues and I are friends outside of work. We like to go out together. We found out most of us play the same online team-based, player vs player game. We added each other as friends and ...
9
votes
3answers
482 views

Knowing when you should send message instead of asking in person

In my day to day life, when I have a question, I like to ask the person who has the answer in person (instead of sending a slack message). One of the reasons for that is that, most of the time, I can'...
12
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I tell a colleague that I won’t have an intimate relationship with her?

How do I tell a colleague that I won’t have an intimate relationship with her without hurting our work relation? Background We have been working together for a few years; she was single and I was not....
6
votes
2answers
179 views

How can I ensure I maintain a good working relationship competing with my colleagues for a promotion?

I've worked at my current job for just about 2 years. Due to the type of job it is, the turnover rate is high, so I am one of the most experienced employees there. We're likely to have one or two ...
1
vote
1answer
523 views

How to politely kick out someone who tries to take over your work?

I wrote three articles with several colleagues. Now in two of them I was included as second author. I am fine with that as the idea was not mine. The results of my research were used though. But my ...
11
votes
3answers
628 views

How to improve relationship with a co-worker who does not speak to me?

A little history: I was hired onto this team a few years ago. The subteam I'm on has several people: the project lead (Jim), the co-worker I'm asking about (let's call her Mary), and others including ...
4
votes
3answers
847 views

How to talk with my boss about the lack of hygiene on our workspace?

I'm currently working in a small office with around 14 coworkers. We have a tiny scullery just to make coffee / wash dishes and a bathroom. Most of my coworkers are men and they're developers. I'm ...
8
votes
5answers
839 views

Saying thanks without making it sounds like “you are doing me a favor”?

I'm a 23 year old woman, working as a junior Q&A. Some time ago I asked the dev team (mostly men, all older than me) for something that I needed to do my job. They weren't really happy with my ...
1
vote
0answers
305 views

How to behave as normal co-workers again to ease the awkwardness? [closed]

I am a female and I started working at a big organization in a new country 6 months back after my studies. There is this male colleague at work who has been friendly with me. A week back he asked ...
3
votes
3answers
519 views

Etiquette about signing card when coworker leaves

Let's assume that you are working somewhere, a co-worker of yours leaves and someone takes the initiative to buy a "best wishes" card for people to sign. Is there a specific etiquette regarding who ...
7
votes
2answers
602 views

How to react to a coworker calling themselves dumb?

First of all I want to express that I feel this question belongs in here and not in workplace because it's an interpersonal thing more than a work thing and I'd like a more general answer. So I was ...
11
votes
2answers
819 views

How to tell a colleague that touching my behind at the christmas party was not ok

During my company's Christmas party one colleague got extremely drunk. He then went to me, put his arm around me and his hand on my behind. I found this both annoying and highly inappropriate and ...
1
vote
3answers
538 views

How do you tell your superior that you have a problem with another coworker?

Background I'm a woman, 23 years old and a freshly hired Q&A ingenior (2 weeks). I was asked to do some task (implement automatic test on Jenkins). I ran into a problem and needed the help of ...
2
votes
2answers
353 views

how to say no to a recurring request from my managers and team members [closed]

So I've been living in another country for 10 years, and I've been working with a client for about 2 years, and about 6 months ago I made a mistake, I agreed to prepare a drink from my home country ...
8
votes
7answers
1k views

How to not be “this annoying nitpicking Quality Engineer”?

I am a 23-year-old woman who was hired 2 weeks ago. As a Q&A engineer, I have to ask developers to change the way they are coding in order to improve the code's quality, maintainability, and ...
1
vote
1answer
296 views

How to manage the tension caused by conflicts between two of my superiors?

So, this morning when I got to work, I found my two superiors (a project manager and a manager) arguing about some models. I did not see the beginning of the dispute so I can not say what exactly it ...
3
votes
4answers
564 views

How can I point out errors to a teammate in a group project without being the “bad guy”?

I am working in a university coding project of 8 people. We're working on gitlab and every time someone does a merge request, at least 3 people need to look over the code and upvote the request, if ...
8
votes
1answer
1k views

I have to work with an ex-friend, how can I limit the awkwardness of the situation?

Context I had this very good friend who told me a few days ago to stop any form of communication that is not work-related. Talking about the situation is not an option as she made it clear that she ...
2
votes
1answer
453 views

How to politely avoid a hand-shake with somebody who is infected by a flu virus?

In our daily life people often meet and greet with different styles and traditions, but mostly we do it by shaking our hands and it is quite normal around the globe. But if a person who is infected ...
0
votes
4answers
539 views

How to tell someone I won't do their work

I'm in a situation I don't really know how to handle. I'm a student at university and one of my class mates decided to study way too many things at the same time so she doesn't show up to many of ...
10
votes
1answer
773 views

How exactly to tell someone to not touch me

I know this theme has already been discussed, but I would like to ask for exact advice for my exact situation. Outline I am an Eastern-European lady living in Germany and working as a software ...
12
votes
2answers
579 views

How to persuade a coworker we both need to do our own work?

I recently started on a new team, with a single fellow developer. Under the motto of 'getting her up to speed as quick as possible', my co-worker has spent the past week sitting at my desk (open ...
7
votes
1answer
1k views

Appropriate behavior after accidentally touching female player's chest in co-ed sports game

Recently I was invited to a co-ed indoor soccer game where all the participants were people from my company. At the time I didn't really know any of the other players personally and most of them I'd ...
9
votes
4answers
803 views

How can I politely tell a colleague that mocking someone's clothes in front of everyone is rude?

Context We are working in a open space, in France, for a big company and there is this colleague that has been working here for 15 years that enjoy mocking everyone for everything. It seems that he ...
6
votes
1answer
328 views

How can I tell if I'm being a bother when asking for help?

I started a new job several weeks ago and like with any new job, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a "mentor"--somebody on the team who's designated to helping get me up to speed with everything--...
9
votes
4answers
625 views

How to signify to a coworker I'd like to become friends?

TL;DR I'd like to befriend a coworker with similar hobbies and values but I'm afraid I'd either sound awkward or flirty. How can I make him understand I'd like to become friends? Situation I've ...
5
votes
1answer
253 views

How do I approach a co-worker about talking too much and being distracting?

Background I work as a counselor in a drug and alcohol treatment facility. It is a high-stress, demanding job and requires extensive charting tasks to be completed by specific deadlines. All ...
15
votes
4answers
3k views

How to communicate with a coworker who repeats meaningless context? [closed]

Background I work in a technical role in an international environment, and have (and prefer) a very direct communication style. If you want my help, the best way to get it is to simply state your ...
4
votes
3answers
434 views

How to politely decline friends/colleagues trying to persuade me to join a Friday after-work event?

I’m part of a software development team and the people engagement team in our company. This week has been extremely exhausting with both of my development work and people engagement work being really ...
0
votes
2answers
287 views

How to handle negative campaign about me by a colleague [closed]

I have a colleague, with whom I need to spend the most of my time. I personally feel that this person is not mature enough and does loose talk with others. I am a very silent person and not prefer ...
74
votes
12answers
24k views

Asking a coworker to discontinue his chivalrous acts towards me?

I've made a friend, Bob, in my workplace who is too much of a gentleman for my comfort level. Initially, we became fast friends due to our shared interests and political beliefs. We often message ...
12
votes
6answers
1k views

Co-worker constantly thinks I'm slacking off

I work as the sole web developer in my department doing back end work. As I'm sure many of the developers here will attest to, a large portion of the time spent programming is spent on thinking how ...
2
votes
1answer
286 views

How do I ask my coworker his true opinions?

Recently communication with my coworker had been a bit weird. Some background here. He came to me a few weeks ago and expressed concerns that an important goal of his team was not progressing and ...
4
votes
3answers
654 views

How do I tell my coworker to stop talking about her kid every day?

A coworker in the cubicle next to mine only wants to talk about her daughter when someone comes to her cubicle to engage in small talk. The conversation may start out talking about things like our ...
4
votes
2answers
526 views

How to tactfully shut down gossip-talkers?

I have run into a problem at work which I can not figure out the best way to deal with; the coworkers often like to gossip about eachother, and me being new makes me a great person to tell gossip (and ...
4
votes
1answer
191 views

Coping or Treatment Strategies for Avoidance Behavior?

I am wondering how I can help an individual overcome counter-productive avoidance behavior. For example, let's say a woman (let's call her Jane) works in an office where her boss once became ...
53
votes
11answers
14k views

How to say no to an extremely pushy friend

My friend, which is also my coworker, likes to organise events for his friends. He invites a lot of people, but always expects everyone to join him regardless of if they have already planned something ...
16
votes
2answers
3k views

How to remind someone to do a task that they have forgotten about?

I work in a small team in a smallish company. Every so often, one particular member of the team will say they will do something (typically unrelated to our job such as buying a card for someone who is ...
4
votes
3answers
790 views

How to address a friend/boss about how she speaks to me?

My friend of over 10 years hired me earlier this year to work for a major corporation making great money. She's my boss now and since then our friendship has not been the same. Oh, and did I mention ...
2
votes
1answer
384 views

How to respond if your colleague is rude to you? [closed]

I'm working in a software company as a junior s/w developer(fresher). Recently I was assigned to a project, already 2 of my team members who are senior to me by almost 3-3.5 years are working on this ...
26
votes
7answers
10k views

Carpooling coworker sometimes makes me arrive late or stay late

TL;DR: I drive to work at my own expense. My friend gets a free ride from me, saving her money and time. I say "don't be late" sometimes, and she freaks out. So I live in a metropolitan area and have ...
9
votes
4answers
2k views

How to tell someone they broke my code and ask them to (help) fix it?

I started a new programming job recently and just wrapped up my first task. As part of it, I had to change a critical line in a file from ABC to XYZ. For my second task, a coworker mentioned that it ...
9
votes
5answers
1k views

How to introduce myself to a coworker after a sufficiently awkward amount of time has passed

I work as a junior programmer in a rather large office setting, and I would like to introduce myself to a coworker who works near me, but in a different field (possibly HR?). Unfortunately, I feel ...
2
votes
2answers
339 views

Social interactions at work and shyness [closed]

So a bit of backstory real quick. Back in school I was really shy and pretty socially awkward but mostly with people I didn't know really well or wasn't friends with them. Among friends, I was really ...