Questions tagged [coworkers]

For questions about interacting with one's coworkers, whether local or remote.

7
votes
4answers
565 views

How can I tell a coworker I carpool with to drive more safely?

I'm at a fairly new job, and for transport, I'm carpooling with a coworker of mine, who owns a car. I've noticed that this coworker tends to drive rather unsafely. I've first noticed them rolling ...
12
votes
2answers
971 views

How do I handle not liking the cultural cuisine of my coworkers?

Background: I work in a team of 10 software developers, of which more than half are Indian, including my manager. We have mandatory team lunches every month or two, but we do pay for our own meals at ...
3
votes
3answers
572 views

What is the proper workplace etiquette for saying goodbye to a higher ranking coworker that you almost never interact with?

One of my colleagues is quitting his job and our supervisor has invited us to his adieu at a nearby restaurant. I cannot go there but would like to be polite enough to say goodbye to him. We were ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

Having a conversation with a coworker about receiving mixed signals that are confusing me

CONTEXT: I live in France, am 23 and I have had a crush on a coworker (21) for about 6 months and told her so around 1 month and a half ago in no uncertain terms. We had been talking regularly, about ...
3
votes
1answer
757 views

How to break a two year old glacier!

I’ve moved to the US from Iran two years and a half ago and started my current job two years ago. I had severe depression and anxiety when I started my job, which led to low performance and so many ...
3
votes
2answers
2k views

How do I effectively explain to my boss that I don't want to wear a t-shirt for our office video shoot?

I work in a tiny startup, digital marketing agency in India. I've always lived a very simple life. My way of life style is still very much influenced by the way it was in my childhood. The thing is, ...
39
votes
3answers
9k views

How to properly maintain eye contact with people that have distinctive facial features?

Recently, I've been talking to someone that is cross-eyed, and his face has a pretty visible scar as well. These talks are mainly at lunchtime when there's more than 1 person present. Whenever he's ...
3
votes
4answers
579 views

Etiquette regarding money participation when a coworker leaves?

I live in France. One of my coworkers is leaving soon and some other coworkers decided to collect money for him (in order to buy this coworker a gift). I was wondering, is there any formal etiquette ...
18
votes
6answers
10k views

How to let other coworkers know that I don't share my coworker's political views?

Background Today, I was in my workplace kitchen where I was having lunch. There were other coworkers having lunch there too. One of them (let's call him Bob) was talking about political stuff and ...
2
votes
2answers
418 views

How to deal with “why not” as a response to the a why question? [closed]

I work with people who when asked "why are you doing it that way" or "why [any question]?" their response is always "why not"? My feeling is always that this a frivolous response and indicates a poor ...
4
votes
2answers
565 views

How do I inform my boss that he offended me?

I am a man in forties. I work as a scientist in Germany, but I am not local. My boss at the university uses words "stupid" and "idiot" in relation to me in front of other people or in a direct ...
1
vote
3answers
550 views

Asking my coworker to get to the point without being rude

Background I have a coworker with whom I communicate online (slack). When this coworker has something to tell me, they always start by saying: Hello, how are you? Then they wait for me to answer (...
4
votes
2answers
339 views

How to invite my colleagues to an at-home goodbye party when they usually organize them in a bar?

I'll leave for a new job in a month. When some of my colleagues left the team for another one (but still remained in the company, which means we hang out around coffee regularly, it's not like they ...
2
votes
2answers
539 views

Letting people know they don't owe me directly

I've recently been able to afford things rather easily and I also live with flatmates (who are also coworkers). We all make the same amount and share a lot of stuff. Whenever I feel like it, I just ...
20
votes
3answers
1k views

How to support a coworker with her insecurity, while not going against my own opinions?

I have a new-ish co-worker. Before I landed in this team we already had some contact, we enjoyed having lunches together and often chatted over a cup of coffee. We seem to be developing a friendship, ...
20
votes
1answer
1k views

How to tactfully respond to compliments when I don't feel I deserve them?

I'm the most senior developer on my current team, and I often get asked for help by my teammates. Sometimes when they ask for help, it's with something that I think is fairly obvious or easy to do. ...
7
votes
2answers
588 views

How to stop someone from helping you?

Today, I had some difficulties with an Excel function so, after a meeting, I asked two of my coworkers if they knew how to solve my issue (since I thought it was an easy problem and they have more ...
4
votes
1answer
439 views

How to tell my manager that I am lacking a work assignment while not making my colleague look bad?

I am in a new job for a few months now. I just recently finished all my training projects and I'm now waiting for new instructions on how to proceed. The colleague responsible for training me has been ...
4
votes
3answers
253 views

How to invite my band-members/coworkers to give me feedback on my performance?

I recently joined a music band that's composed of four colleagues with who I don't work (different projects & teams), but I know them well since we have lunch and banter next to the watercooler ...
5
votes
1answer
730 views

Colleague making me feel bad over a game

A group of colleagues and I are friends outside of work. We like to go out together. We found out most of us play the same online team-based, player vs player game. We added each other as friends and ...
9
votes
3answers
508 views

Knowing when you should send message instead of asking in person

In my day to day life, when I have a question, I like to ask the person who has the answer in person (instead of sending a slack message). One of the reasons for that is that, most of the time, I can'...
12
votes
2answers
2k views

How do I tell a colleague that I won’t have an intimate relationship with her?

How do I tell a colleague that I won’t have an intimate relationship with her without hurting our work relation? Background We have been working together for a few years; she was single and I was not....
6
votes
2answers
182 views

How can I ensure I maintain a good working relationship competing with my colleagues for a promotion?

I've worked at my current job for just about 2 years. Due to the type of job it is, the turnover rate is high, so I am one of the most experienced employees there. We're likely to have one or two ...
1
vote
1answer
538 views

How to politely kick out someone who tries to take over your work?

I wrote three articles with several colleagues. Now in two of them I was included as second author. I am fine with that as the idea was not mine. The results of my research were used though. But my ...
11
votes
3answers
677 views

How to improve relationship with a co-worker who does not speak to me?

A little history: I was hired onto this team a few years ago. The subteam I'm on has several people: the project lead (Jim), the co-worker I'm asking about (let's call her Mary), and others including ...
4
votes
3answers
861 views

How to talk with my boss about the lack of hygiene on our workspace?

I'm currently working in a small office with around 14 coworkers. We have a tiny scullery just to make coffee / wash dishes and a bathroom. Most of my coworkers are men and they're developers. I'm ...
8
votes
5answers
853 views

Saying thanks without making it sounds like “you are doing me a favor”?

I'm a 23 year old woman, working as a junior Q&A. Some time ago I asked the dev team (mostly men, all older than me) for something that I needed to do my job. They weren't really happy with my ...
1
vote
0answers
318 views

How to behave as normal co-workers again to ease the awkwardness? [closed]

I am a female and I started working at a big organization in a new country 6 months back after my studies. There is this male colleague at work who has been friendly with me. A week back he asked ...
3
votes
3answers
528 views

Etiquette about signing card when coworker leaves

Let's assume that you are working somewhere, a co-worker of yours leaves and someone takes the initiative to buy a "best wishes" card for people to sign. Is there a specific etiquette regarding who ...
7
votes
2answers
646 views

How to react to a coworker calling themselves dumb?

First of all I want to express that I feel this question belongs in here and not in workplace because it's an interpersonal thing more than a work thing and I'd like a more general answer. So I was ...
11
votes
2answers
841 views

How to tell a colleague that touching my behind at the christmas party was not ok

During my company's Christmas party one colleague got extremely drunk. He then went to me, put his arm around me and his hand on my behind. I found this both annoying and highly inappropriate and ...
8
votes
2answers
554 views

Appropriate way to show appreciation to colleague?

I've started my first year in industry some months ago in a UK Software company. Since I'm pretty much a newbie I had to ask around for help. There is this guy that has been helping me a lot with work ...
1
vote
3answers
560 views

How do you tell your superior that you have a problem with another coworker?

Background I'm a woman, 23 years old and a freshly hired Q&A ingenior (2 weeks). I was asked to do some task (implement automatic test on Jenkins). I ran into a problem and needed the help of ...
2
votes
2answers
356 views

how to say no to a recurring request from my managers and team members [closed]

So I've been living in another country for 10 years, and I've been working with a client for about 2 years, and about 6 months ago I made a mistake, I agreed to prepare a drink from my home country ...
8
votes
7answers
1k views

How to not be “this annoying nitpicking Quality Engineer”?

I am a 23-year-old woman who was hired 2 weeks ago. As a Q&A engineer, I have to ask developers to change the way they are coding in order to improve the code's quality, maintainability, and ...
1
vote
1answer
296 views

How to manage the tension caused by conflicts between two of my superiors?

So, this morning when I got to work, I found my two superiors (a project manager and a manager) arguing about some models. I did not see the beginning of the dispute so I can not say what exactly it ...
3
votes
4answers
567 views

How can I point out errors to a teammate in a group project without being the “bad guy”?

I am working in a university coding project of 8 people. We're working on gitlab and every time someone does a merge request, at least 3 people need to look over the code and upvote the request, if ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How can I inform a foreign colleague that the private conversation in their native language is not so?

I enjoy learning languages and in the past few years, have been learning Spanish. A work colleague, who is either new or I have only just noticed him, calls (presumably) his partner during his lunch ...
4
votes
0answers
666 views

Stalking - I accuse a colleague to be a free rider. How can I ask him if he does that? [closed]

My situation: I am 35 years old, female, from Germany. I work at the university and I have a lot of male colleagues. Two years ago, a friend of mine (no colleague, living appox 500 kilometers away) ...
8
votes
1answer
1k views

I have to work with an ex-friend, how can I limit the awkwardness of the situation?

Context I had this very good friend who told me a few days ago to stop any form of communication that is not work-related. Talking about the situation is not an option as she made it clear that she ...
2
votes
1answer
457 views

How to politely avoid a hand-shake with somebody who is infected by a flu virus?

In our daily life people often meet and greet with different styles and traditions, but mostly we do it by shaking our hands and it is quite normal around the globe. But if a person who is infected ...
0
votes
4answers
545 views

How to tell someone I won't do their work

I'm in a situation I don't really know how to handle. I'm a student at university and one of my class mates decided to study way too many things at the same time so she doesn't show up to many of ...
10
votes
1answer
787 views

How exactly to tell someone to not touch me

I know this theme has already been discussed, but I would like to ask for exact advice for my exact situation. Outline I am an Eastern-European lady living in Germany and working as a software ...
12
votes
2answers
589 views

How to persuade a coworker we both need to do our own work?

I recently started on a new team, with a single fellow developer. Under the motto of 'getting her up to speed as quick as possible', my co-worker has spent the past week sitting at my desk (open ...
7
votes
1answer
1k views

Appropriate behavior after accidentally touching female player's chest in co-ed sports game

Recently I was invited to a co-ed indoor soccer game where all the participants were people from my company. At the time I didn't really know any of the other players personally and most of them I'd ...
9
votes
4answers
825 views

How can I politely tell a colleague that mocking someone's clothes in front of everyone is rude?

Context We are working in a open space, in France, for a big company and there is this colleague that has been working here for 15 years that enjoy mocking everyone for everything. It seems that he ...
6
votes
1answer
338 views

How can I tell if I'm being a bother when asking for help?

I started a new job several weeks ago and like with any new job, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a "mentor"--somebody on the team who's designated to helping get me up to speed with everything--...
9
votes
4answers
661 views

How to signify to a coworker I'd like to become friends?

TL;DR I'd like to befriend a coworker with similar hobbies and values but I'm afraid I'd either sound awkward or flirty. How can I make him understand I'd like to become friends? Situation I've ...