Questions tagged [coworkers]

For questions about interacting with one's coworkers, whether local or remote.

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1answer
589 views

How to politely kick out someone who tries to take over your work?

I wrote three articles with several colleagues. Now in two of them I was included as second author. I am fine with that as the idea was not mine. The results of my research were used though. But my ...
12
votes
3answers
920 views

How to improve relationship with a co-worker who does not speak to me?

A little history: I was hired onto this team a few years ago. The subteam I'm on has several people: the project lead (Jim), the co-worker I'm asking about (let's call her Mary), and others including ...
5
votes
3answers
978 views

How to talk with my boss about the lack of hygiene on our workspace?

I'm currently working in a small office with around 14 coworkers. We have a tiny scullery just to make coffee / wash dishes and a bathroom. Most of my coworkers are men and they're developers. I'm ...
8
votes
7answers
2k views

How to not be “this annoying nitpicking Quality Engineer”?

I am a 23-year-old woman who was hired 2 weeks ago. As a Q&A engineer, I have to ask developers to change the way they are coding in order to improve the code's quality, maintainability, and ...
9
votes
5answers
2k views

Saying thanks without making it sounds like “you are doing me a favor”?

I'm a 23 year old woman, working as a junior Q&A. Some time ago I asked the dev team (mostly men, all older than me) for something that I needed to do my job. They weren't really happy with my ...
19
votes
8answers
4k views

How do I interact with people who don't understand that I don't want to share personal information

I get it, people like to share things, know whats going on in each others lives and connect with each other. I don't, I'm a private person, I don't want to share personal things and because of that I ...
34
votes
7answers
5k views

How to helpfully react to a male coworker's sexual comment about a woman

I'm a 29 year old male. Sometimes find myself in a situation with a male coworker who I've just met, or a male stranger who I'm talking with (at a bus stop, for example), and they make a comment about ...
3
votes
3answers
837 views

Etiquette about signing card when coworker leaves

Let's assume that you are working somewhere, a co-worker of yours leaves and someone takes the initiative to buy a "best wishes" card for people to sign. Is there a specific etiquette regarding who ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

I have to work with an ex-friend, how can I limit the awkwardness of the situation?

Context I had this very good friend who told me a few days ago to stop any form of communication that is not work-related. Talking about the situation is not an option as she made it clear that she ...
4
votes
4answers
929 views

How can I point out errors to a teammate in a group project without being the “bad guy”?

I am working in a university coding project of 8 people. We're working on gitlab and every time someone does a merge request, at least 3 people need to look over the code and upvote the request, if ...
8
votes
2answers
3k views

How to react to a coworker calling themselves dumb?

First of all I want to express that I feel this question belongs in here and not in workplace because it's an interpersonal thing more than a work thing and I'd like a more general answer. So I was ...
12
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell a colleague that touching my behind at the christmas party was not ok

During my company's Christmas party one colleague got extremely drunk. He then went to me, put his arm around me and his hand on my behind. I found this both annoying and highly inappropriate and ...
8
votes
2answers
607 views

Appropriate way to show appreciation to colleague?

I've started my first year in industry some months ago in a UK Software company. Since I'm pretty much a newbie I had to ask around for help. There is this guy that has been helping me a lot with work ...
1
vote
3answers
640 views

How do you tell your superior that you have a problem with another coworker?

Background I'm a woman, 23 years old and a freshly hired Q&A ingenior (2 weeks). I was asked to do some task (implement automatic test on Jenkins). I ran into a problem and needed the help of ...
2
votes
2answers
378 views

how to say no to a recurring request from my managers and team members [closed]

So I've been living in another country for 10 years, and I've been working with a client for about 2 years, and about 6 months ago I made a mistake, I agreed to prepare a drink from my home country ...
1
vote
1answer
308 views

How to manage the tension caused by conflicts between two of my superiors?

So, this morning when I got to work, I found my two superiors (a project manager and a manager) arguing about some models. I did not see the beginning of the dispute so I can not say what exactly it ...
3
votes
3answers
743 views

Polite way to request more “elbow room” in open-plan office?

My workplace subscribes to a startup mentality and our seating is made up of long double-sided tables that are each five "desk" pieces locked together end-to-end. Anyone is free to sit where they like ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How can I inform a foreign colleague that the private conversation in their native language is not so?

I enjoy learning languages and in the past few years, have been learning Spanish. A work colleague, who is either new or I have only just noticed him, calls (presumably) his partner during his lunch ...
2
votes
2answers
431 views

How do I get my colleagues to turn the radio off? [closed]

I work in a big, open-plan office. One of my colleagues on my floor likes to work with the radio on and most people seem to agree. I dislike the radio (radio specifically, rather than music) for all ...
4
votes
0answers
747 views

Stalking - I accuse a colleague to be a free rider. How can I ask him if he does that? [closed]

My situation: I am 35 years old, female, from Germany. I work at the university and I have a lot of male colleagues. Two years ago, a friend of mine (no colleague, living appox 500 kilometers away) ...
2
votes
1answer
568 views

How to politely avoid a hand-shake with somebody who is infected by a flu virus?

In our daily life people often meet and greet with different styles and traditions, but mostly we do it by shaking our hands and it is quite normal around the globe. But if a person who is infected ...
20
votes
6answers
7k views

Approach a coworker-friend about being nicer to his friends

TLDR: My coworker makes unkind jokes about someone else to build rapport or support friendship with me. This makes me uncomfortable because it is outright mean and has noticeably hurt the teased party ...
1
vote
1answer
1k views

Coworker at same rank is acting like he supervises us, and higher-ups don't seem to care. How to talk to him about it?

Our company is set up in a ranked structure. There is someone I know, when we are told to go to the back of a company or something, us senior ranked (but not too senior) employees would do what we are ...
18
votes
7answers
11k views

I don't see why I have to pay for a full bumper paint job. How do I convince her?

When I was reversing, I accidentally scratched a woman's car. The scratch is around 15cm long and 0.5cm wide. The scratch is not a really a scratch since my car's paint was simply just scraped off ...
10
votes
1answer
929 views

How exactly to tell someone to not touch me

I know this theme has already been discussed, but I would like to ask for exact advice for my exact situation. Outline I am an Eastern-European lady living in Germany and working as a software ...
0
votes
4answers
629 views

How to tell someone I won't do their work

I'm in a situation I don't really know how to handle. I'm a student at university and one of my class mates decided to study way too many things at the same time so she doesn't show up to many of ...
68
votes
6answers
30k views

How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people

Context I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., ...
8
votes
1answer
2k views

Appropriate behavior after accidentally touching female player's chest in co-ed sports game

Recently I was invited to a co-ed indoor soccer game where all the participants were people from my company. At the time I didn't really know any of the other players personally and most of them I'd ...
14
votes
2answers
702 views

How to persuade a coworker we both need to do our own work?

I recently started on a new team, with a single fellow developer. Under the motto of 'getting her up to speed as quick as possible', my co-worker has spent the past week sitting at my desk (open ...
6
votes
1answer
398 views

How can I tell if I'm being a bother when asking for help?

I started a new job several weeks ago and like with any new job, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a "mentor"--somebody on the team who's designated to helping get me up to speed with everything--...
12
votes
4answers
2k views

How to signify to a coworker I'd like to become friends?

TL;DR I'd like to befriend a coworker with similar hobbies and values but I'm afraid I'd either sound awkward or flirty. How can I make him understand I'd like to become friends? Situation I've ...
3
votes
4answers
1k views

Work supervisor expects platitudes in response to his pleasantries, even when I'm miserable

I have been working at my job for over a year now and I have some minor but extremely annoying interpersonal issues with my boss. He's British and I'm Canadian but we are living in Ireland. I'm a ...
9
votes
5answers
5k views

Handling the question “what did you do for the weekend?”

Another week, another Monday and another same old unpleasant question (at least for me) - What did you do for the weekend? A couple years ago I moved to another country in western Europe from South-...
5
votes
1answer
279 views

How do I approach a co-worker about talking too much and being distracting?

Background I work as a counselor in a drug and alcohol treatment facility. It is a high-stress, demanding job and requires extensive charting tasks to be completed by specific deadlines. All ...
15
votes
4answers
3k views

How to communicate with a coworker who repeats meaningless context? [closed]

Background I work in a technical role in an international environment, and have (and prefer) a very direct communication style. If you want my help, the best way to get it is to simply state your ...
18
votes
5answers
11k views

How do I prevent people from repeating to others everything I say to them? [closed]

I’d like to know how I can make people stop telling others every single thing I tell them. Here’s a dialog between me and my high-school classmate, in class: Me: In case you can’t eat any more, ...
52
votes
6answers
12k views

How can I handle a co-worker awkwardly forcing herself into conversations?

Background: I've recently started working on a new project, in a team of around 10 people. I'm the only female on that team, but the guys are awesome and it's a great, fun group of people to work with....
4
votes
3answers
474 views

How to politely decline friends/colleagues trying to persuade me to join a Friday after-work event?

I’m part of a software development team and the people engagement team in our company. This week has been extremely exhausting with both of my development work and people engagement work being really ...
0
votes
2answers
311 views

How to handle negative campaign about me by a colleague [closed]

I have a colleague, with whom I need to spend the most of my time. I personally feel that this person is not mature enough and does loose talk with others. I am a very silent person and not prefer ...
74
votes
12answers
25k views

Asking a coworker to discontinue his chivalrous acts towards me?

I've made a friend, Bob, in my workplace who is too much of a gentleman for my comfort level. Initially, we became fast friends due to our shared interests and political beliefs. We often message ...
53
votes
11answers
19k views

How to say no to an extremely pushy friend

My friend, which is also my coworker, likes to organise events for his friends. He invites a lot of people, but always expects everyone to join him regardless of if they have already planned something ...
12
votes
6answers
2k views

Co-worker constantly thinks I'm slacking off

I work as the sole web developer in my department doing back end work. As I'm sure many of the developers here will attest to, a large portion of the time spent programming is spent on thinking how ...
5
votes
2answers
573 views

How to tactfully shut down gossip-talkers?

I have run into a problem at work which I can not figure out the best way to deal with; the coworkers often like to gossip about eachother, and me being new makes me a great person to tell gossip (and ...
2
votes
1answer
364 views

How do I ask my coworker his true opinions?

Recently communication with my coworker had been a bit weird. Some background here. He came to me a few weeks ago and expressed concerns that an important goal of his team was not progressing and ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I tell my coworker to stop talking about her kid every day?

A coworker in the cubicle next to mine only wants to talk about her daughter when someone comes to her cubicle to engage in small talk. The conversation may start out talking about things like our ...
4
votes
1answer
213 views

Coping or Treatment Strategies for Avoidance Behavior?

I am wondering how I can help an individual overcome counter-productive avoidance behavior. For example, let's say a woman (let's call her Jane) works in an office where her boss once became ...
3
votes
3answers
532 views

How to improve relationship with uninterested coworkers?

I'm not sure whether this is a question for the workplace or IPS board, but I think it's more of a inter-personal than work related issue. Please correct me if I'm wrong. About three months ago I ...
4
votes
3answers
856 views

How to address a friend/boss about how she speaks to me?

My friend of over 10 years hired me earlier this year to work for a major corporation making great money. She's my boss now and since then our friendship has not been the same. Oh, and did I mention ...