Questions tagged [coworkers]

For questions about interacting with one's coworkers, whether local or remote.

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13
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I handle not liking the cultural cuisine of my coworkers?

Background: I work in a team of 10 software developers, of which more than half are Indian, including my manager. We have mandatory team lunches every month or two, but we do pay for our own meals at ...
13
votes
4answers
2k views

How to signify to a coworker I'd like to become friends?

TL;DR I'd like to befriend a coworker with similar hobbies and values but I'm afraid I'd either sound awkward or flirty. How can I make him understand I'd like to become friends? Situation I've ...
13
votes
1answer
1k views

How to make amends for an (unexpected) embarrassing situation?

Background: This situation is a little bit sensitive. Few days ago I was in restroom at my company, and just went about my business. Then one guy came in to the next urinal (restroom is kind of small,...
12
votes
2answers
2k views

How do I tell a colleague that I won’t have an intimate relationship with her?

How do I tell a colleague that I won’t have an intimate relationship with her without hurting our work relation? Background We have been working together for a few years; she was single and I was not....
12
votes
2answers
3k views

How to ask a co-worker to sneeze into their elbow?

My co-worker has been sneezing about 8 times a day for the last two weeks. Like clock-work, I will hear him loudly sneeze out into the air every hour. He is not covering his mouth when he sneezes (and ...
12
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2answers
1k views

How to tell a colleague that touching my behind at the christmas party was not ok

During my company's Christmas party one colleague got extremely drunk. He then went to me, put his arm around me and his hand on my behind. I found this both annoying and highly inappropriate and ...
12
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6answers
2k views

Co-worker constantly thinks I'm slacking off

I work as the sole web developer in my department doing back end work. As I'm sure many of the developers here will attest to, a large portion of the time spent programming is spent on thinking how ...
12
votes
3answers
928 views

How to improve relationship with a co-worker who does not speak to me?

A little history: I was hired onto this team a few years ago. The subteam I'm on has several people: the project lead (Jim), the co-worker I'm asking about (let's call her Mary), and others including ...
11
votes
4answers
3k views

How to tell a coworker to dress more appropriately for the office

One of my co-workers transitioned a year ago and she's really happy to be a woman, to finally being herself. However, she's putting too short skirt and short... I know that she's going through a ...
11
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4answers
2k views

How can I politely tell a colleague that mocking someone's clothes in front of everyone is rude?

Context We are working in a open space, in France, for a big company and there is this colleague that has been working here for 15 years that enjoy mocking everyone for everything. It seems that he ...
10
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4answers
2k views

How to tell someone they broke my code and ask them to (help) fix it?

I started a new programming job recently and just wrapped up my first task. As part of it, I had to change a critical line in a file from ABC to XYZ. For my second task, a coworker mentioned that it ...
10
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4answers
2k views

How to avoid participating in a team-building trip without causing bad feelings for coworkers?

I've been in this company (and team) for almost 10 months now. Everything was O.K.: project, team, team-leader etc. But our TL (team leader) got a better offer from another company and of course, he ...
10
votes
4answers
1k views

How to avoid lack of respect due to perceived youth / lack of experience

Background I'm a woman of small build (1,60m) and have a rather high pitched voice. If asked to estimate my age, people guess me at least 5 years, usually 10 years younger. I am 31, so people guess ...
10
votes
1answer
938 views

How exactly to tell someone to not touch me

I know this theme has already been discussed, but I would like to ask for exact advice for my exact situation. Outline I am an Eastern-European lady living in Germany and working as a software ...
9
votes
7answers
2k views

How to not be "this annoying nitpicking Quality Engineer"?

I am a 23-year-old woman who was hired 2 weeks ago. As a Q&A engineer, I have to ask developers to change the way they are coding in order to improve the code's quality, maintainability, and ...
9
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5answers
5k views

Handling the question "what did you do for the weekend?"

Another week, another Monday and another same old unpleasant question (at least for me) - What did you do for the weekend? A couple years ago I moved to another country in western Europe from South-...
9
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3answers
2k views

How rude is "ladies first rule" in USA? [closed]

I am a male brazilian (born and living) software developer. I'm part of a remote team with people living in Brazil and in USA (born in other countries as well). We've been working together for 1 month....
9
votes
1answer
2k views

How to deal with a person who rejected you and work with on the same team?

There is this person that I like in my company. We've hung out quite a lot of times with our co-workers. I told my co-workers that I like this person and this person knows about it because our co-...
9
votes
5answers
2k views

How to introduce myself to a coworker after a sufficiently awkward amount of time has passed

I work as a junior programmer in a rather large office setting, and I would like to introduce myself to a coworker who works near me, but in a different field (possibly HR?). Unfortunately, I feel ...
9
votes
3answers
556 views

Knowing when you should send message instead of asking in person

In my day to day life, when I have a question, I like to ask the person who has the answer in person (instead of sending a slack message). One of the reasons for that is that, most of the time, I can'...
9
votes
2answers
2k views

Having a conversation with a coworker about receiving mixed signals that are confusing me

CONTEXT: I live in France, am 23 and I have had a crush on a coworker (21) for about 6 months and told her so around 1 month and a half ago in no uncertain terms. We had been talking regularly, about ...
9
votes
2answers
887 views

How do I tell an older coworker I would like to become friends with him?

I've been in my internship in a state-owned enterprise for six months so far, and this is my last month there. Since I started, they assigned me a mentor who would make sure I and the rest of my ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

I have to work with an ex-friend, how can I limit the awkwardness of the situation?

Context I had this very good friend who told me a few days ago to stop any form of communication that is not work-related. Talking about the situation is not an option as she made it clear that she ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How to avoid endless corporate evening pubs but still have nice relationship with the colleagues?

Imagine yourself working in a company which has a team building tradition of going together to the pub on average two evenings a week and this is almost compulsory. But you do not get any pleasure ...
9
votes
2answers
441 views

How to ask if someone has suffered a bereavement?

I have a work colleague who I was expecting to be at work today but they haven't shown up. I know that they are currently going through issues with their Father's health and may have to take some ...
9
votes
2answers
699 views

How to stop someone from helping you?

Today, I had some difficulties with an Excel function so, after a meeting, I asked two of my coworkers if they knew how to solve my issue (since I thought it was an easy problem and they have more ...
8
votes
1answer
2k views

Appropriate behavior after accidentally touching female player's chest in co-ed sports game

Recently I was invited to a co-ed indoor soccer game where all the participants were people from my company. At the time I didn't really know any of the other players personally and most of them I'd ...
8
votes
4answers
32k views

How to deal with a boyfriend's coworker that make you jealous?

I have been in a relationship for 2 years and for the most part I am very happy. My boyfriend, lets call him Max, is a very sweet and thoughtful person and we get along very well. However there’s been ...
8
votes
6answers
3k views

How to interact with a colleague if you understand only 5% of what he says?

I work in a big company, I have a colleague from another sector, who (I think) has some kind of problem in speaking. I really can't understand what he says and every time he talks to me, I just keep ...
8
votes
1answer
730 views

How to make aware co worker about their parking skills?

I work in a MNC (Multi national company) in a populated city where having a car is necessary for transport purposes and daily commute. Question How can I tell/make aware a coworker (who is not in ...
8
votes
4answers
1k views

How to coach underperforming, anxious coworker in an IT position?

I work at the tech support desk for a financial services company and having trouble dealing with a (relatively) new hire who at best doesn't seem to be picking up the job and is oblivious to it, and ...
8
votes
5answers
2k views

Saying thanks without making it sounds like "you are doing me a favor"?

I'm a 23 year old woman, working as a junior Q&A. Some time ago I asked the dev team (mostly men, all older than me) for something that I needed to do my job. They weren't really happy with my ...
8
votes
2answers
839 views

Strange interactions with a relative/coworker preemptively deflecting blame

There's someone I deal with regularly -- let's call her Betty. Betty and I are closely related and we work together on various projects that she directs. Sometimes I run into a difficult situation ...
8
votes
2answers
3k views

How to react to a coworker calling themselves dumb?

First of all I want to express that I feel this question belongs in here and not in workplace because it's an interpersonal thing more than a work thing and I'd like a more general answer. So I was ...
8
votes
4answers
1k views

How to gently turn down digital small-talk and prevent any new attempts at having it?

The corona virus has everybody working from home. And it seems all of management is recommending to 'stay in contact', to talk with each other digitally. Which may be fun, when it's actually planned ...
8
votes
2answers
410 views

What are some good strategies for interrupting coworkers with more important information?

I work in a facility with a large manufacturing plant and a large number of engineers, lab techs, and manufacturing personnel. Because of the nature of the equipment we produce and the documentation ...
8
votes
4answers
768 views

How can I tell a coworker I carpool with to drive more safely?

I'm at a fairly new job, and for transport, I'm carpooling with a coworker of mine, who owns a car. I've noticed that this coworker tends to drive rather unsafely. I've first noticed them rolling ...
8
votes
2answers
612 views

Appropriate way to show appreciation to colleague?

I've started my first year in industry some months ago in a UK Software company. Since I'm pretty much a newbie I had to ask around for help. There is this guy that has been helping me a lot with work ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How to politely ask a coworker to turn down the volume on their notifications?

Side Note: I'm in the US, and I chose to ask this on IPS as I'm viewing it as a coworker interaction rather than enforcing company policy I'm a summer intern at a tech company, and my office space is ...
8
votes
3answers
1k views

How to ask a coworker if (and why) they don't like me?

I (male) recently started a very corporate job. I'm a recent grad so I'm younger than most of my coworkers, most of which are married/have kids. I get along pretty well with all of them. There is ...
8
votes
3answers
517 views

How could I talk to a coworker about my feeling of being left out by the team?

I have asked this question in The Workplace, but it didn't seem to be the good place for this question, so I'm trying my luck here. I have been working in the place I currently am for more than a ...
8
votes
3answers
911 views

How to talk to coworker about loud outbursts

My desk at work is in a small room shared with two other coworkers, let's call them Alice and Bob. Alice is in general a loud and outspoken / opinionated person, but doesn't talk much to either of us ...
7
votes
3answers
1k views

How can I tell a coworker about my feelings for her without damaging our working relationship?

A coworker and close friend of mine is in a serious relationship; one day she may well marry her current boyfriend. Even so, I’ve had strong romantic feelings for her for approximately a year. I’ve ...
7
votes
5answers
943 views

Do I need to keep on asking my coworker if I can lower the window blinds (in a German company)

I am doing my internship at a German company (while being a student from the Netherlands) and my German skills are limited. On sunny days, I get blinded by the sun and want to lower the window blinds. ...
7
votes
3answers
999 views

How can I talk about positive circumstances in my life without hurting coworkers who are in the opposite situation?

Several times in the past, I've had a bit of good news which I'd like to share at work (or at least not actively hide). The issue is that often, a colleague is struggling in the same domain. I know ...
7
votes
2answers
496 views

How to gain group respect in a workplace setting?

This question is posted as first person but on the behalf of another person. Some details might be lacking. I work in a nursing home, as a full time employee since two weeks. My contract is for a ...
7
votes
3answers
2k views

Co-worker is too aggressively trying to make friends

We have a new colleague. He comes from another region (same country: Germany) and is rather outgoing: He talks a lot (sometimes too much), is generally very friendly and is rather cheerful. He moved ...