Questions tagged [etiquette]

Etiquette is a set of rules or customs that control accepted behaviour in particular social groups or social situations.

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21
votes
9answers
5k views

How do I decline contact with a previous buyer?

I recently sold my first car to someone. The sale went very fast, they test drove it, looked at it and signed over the car. This was about 3 weeks ago. All of a sudden I get a text message 'Can you ...
19
votes
5answers
5k views

Does the food or drink item brought to a potluck need to be large enough to serve everyone?

Tomorrow I'll be going to a potluck that will be attended by around 20 people. I'm not good at cooking, so I'm planning on bringing something from a bakery. What is the etiquette with regards to the ...
26
votes
3answers
12k views

How to tell a busy professor that I don't mind if he answers my questions when he has time?

I am self-studying a course. Two years ago I began to use some lectures by a professor from the United States (I'm from a different country). He is retired now. While watching his lectures, I began to ...
4
votes
1answer
446 views

I have a co-worker from India, who has lost several family members to covid. How is it most appropriate to express condoleances?

I am an academic in a US university. My co-worker is a more junior academic who grew up in India and has family in New Delhi. Today I learned that he has lost several family members (uncles, aunts, ...
2
votes
2answers
403 views

How to give a gift that was declined on the basis of welfare of the gifting party without being rude?

I am attending the wedding of a very close family member soon (45 days). This family member and their fiancé need new phones, their current one doesn't seem to last 30 minutes of use with a full ...
2
votes
2answers
283 views

What is the proper etiquette for when someone you're not very close with is dealing with a terminally ill family member?

I'm currently enrolled in graduate school. I've been having a lot of trouble getting in touch with my advisor recently. He finally responded with apologies that he has been dealing with a terminally ...
5
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell beginner pickleball player they shouldn't play?

Often a lower level pickleball player will come to a day set aside for advanced players. (Pickleball has 4 people on a court &usually played at community centers.) It seems if I am nice to them ...
2
votes
1answer
507 views

Etiquette for Cancelling Abroad Trip

A friend and I were looking at flights to Japan from our home city for a week or so back leading up to this year's Black Friday. Typically flights range from $1000-$1600 round trip, however during ...
32
votes
4answers
7k views

Etiquette regarding borrowing of power tools

Based on television shows, it seems borrowing tools from neighbors is a potential minefield. I need to power wash my front and back porches and the siding of my house. My neighbor has a power washer ...
2
votes
1answer
366 views

How many “bise” (kisses) should I give?

Context Let's assume we are in a COVID-free environment. In France, depending on where you are, we give different amounts of "bises" (kisses on the cheek) in greeting. For example, we give ...
45
votes
10answers
29k views

What do you do if someone is telling you something you already know about, such as a fact or something that happened?

One thing that has been happening lately is that people will tell me something that I already know. Naturally, I respond saying something like, "oh I heard/read about that". However, I feel like when ...
9
votes
5answers
8k views

When should I make eye contact with someone I intend to walk past?

I am an adult male living in the US, in case it matters. Anyway, there's something I do when walking past people on a (not too busy) sidewalk or in a hallway, where I will make eye contact with them,...
2
votes
1answer
589 views

Best way to respond to continue possible friendship

I am taking an online course. Two days ago, the instructor organized a meeting of all the students. I liked one of them – he is senior to me, and seems like a nice sort of person, friendly-like – and ...
1
vote
3answers
2k views

What's the etiquette for addressing a friend's partner or family in a greeting card?

I'm sending holiday greeting cards for the first time to friends, among whom some live with their partners (unmarried). I am not friends with their partners but consider myself on good terms with them,...
11
votes
3answers
990 views

What is the proper etiquette with regards to reciprocating Thanksgiving dinner invitations?

A little bit of background: I am an international graduate student at a university in the US. A domestic friend invited me to his apartment to celebrate Thanksgiving Day and we had a great time on ...
7
votes
4answers
1k views

Is it customary in the US not to say “bye” after a phone call? [closed]

I am French and we end our phone conversations with the equivalent of a "bye". I noticed however that in most of the US movies or TV series (especially the police/action ones), the callers ...
2
votes
1answer
471 views

How to address a Korean co-worker?

My current employer is a global software company with offices in several continents. The company tries to maintain a culture of conviviality. Our main communication medium is text chat in English ; ...
10
votes
1answer
621 views

How to respond to a particular aspect of Indian culture?

In my line of work, I spend lots of time meeting people from various companies. Often, especially when the companies are tech companies, my counterpart will be Indian. One useful skill in working with ...
0
votes
1answer
449 views

How to address a Chinese co-worker?

Question similar to How to address a Korean co-worker? When interacting in direct chat messages in English with co-workers (software developers like me) from Chinese offices ; is it rude to address ...
3
votes
1answer
602 views

Buying an expensive item from an acquaintance — making an offer

I want to buy an item from an acquaintance---we work in the same field roughly and have hung out a few times, I might refer to them as a friend loosely. The list price at a local shop is $1,050 pre-...
165
votes
9answers
40k views

As a pedestrian, how to get someone to stop following you in a car?

Sorry, I just never had these situations occur until I moved into a neighborhood. Usually, we (well, my dogs) get most of our exercise in a large, unused field near my house. The people on our way ...
13
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I prevent people from touching my laptop screen with their finger?

Because of my work, I often bring my laptop with me to show stuff to other people. The problem is that a lot of people end up touching my screen to point to things on it. One developer I worked with ...
61
votes
15answers
26k views

Who should identify themself first on the phone: the caller or the person called?

This may be a generational thing. I was taught that the caller always identified himself first. The person answering says "hello", to establish that contact has been made, but is under no obligation ...
0
votes
1answer
448 views

Resolve frequent conflicts between a group of friends due to poor etiquette

My friends and I are in our mid twenties and have a small friendship group of around 6-7 of us. We have been friends since school, so for around 15 years. More and more I have noticed scenarios where ...
1
vote
1answer
569 views

I accidentally mentioned my hourly salary to my hairdresser, is that bad? [closed]

During small talk with my hairdresser I was talking about an upcoming job interview (which was the reason I went to the hairdresser), and then I accidentally mentioned what I was going to earn per ...
0
votes
2answers
329 views

How can I ask for recommendations from an acquaintance?

I used to live in city X, and I have an acquaintance Y back then that I have not contacted since I left X. I recently moved back to X (after 6 years) and have some problems at home where I will need ...
0
votes
1answer
1k views

Who is expected to pay for birthday trip accommodations? [closed]

So I asked my friends to go to Vegas for my birthday, am I expected to pay for all of their rooms? It would be around 3 rooms I would have to pay for. I am the one planning it and I did invite them.
2
votes
2answers
201 views

How to be persistent but not annoying when dealing with property manager

I'm trying to get my property manager to move me (total household = me + minor child) from a 1 bedroom unit to a 2 bedroom unit. I actually thought this would be a simple request but it's not ...
3
votes
2answers
309 views

Is “I'm sorry” appropriate when offering condolence?

I think it's conventional to say "I'm sorry" when offering condolence -- for example, "I'm sorry to hear your mum died", or, "I was sorry to hear your mum died". Although it may be conventional I ...
16
votes
7answers
2k views

Accidental queue jumpers refuse to believe their mistake

I was queuing at a café when two older men cut the queue ahead of me. I believe it was a genuine mistake - the room was cramped with people, and a space appeared when a woman missed that the queue was ...
2
votes
6answers
1k views

How do I politely ask the staff at my gym how long it will be before I can use the shower?

I'm male, and I often work out at around the time where the staff at my gym is cleaning the showers. They aren't doing it at a specific time, so I can't plan my way out of it. When it's female staff ...
13
votes
5answers
21k views

How can I convey to people that they spell my name wrong?

My name ends with a 'c', while in the country I live in it is much more often spelled with a 'k' at the end. When communicating verbally, this makes no difference as both names have the same ...
4
votes
4answers
852 views

Figuring out interesting questions in friendly or romantic conversations

How can I figure out which questions are interesting and will be pleasant for the person to whom they are addressed to answer? I am a person who has an extreme problem conveying what he wants to ...
12
votes
2answers
2k views

Why does a man pay for the first date with a woman? [closed]

It still seems to be common etiquette, at least in Greece (and probably in other countries as well) for a man to pay for the first date with a woman. While some women do not accept their bill to be ...
-1
votes
1answer
448 views

Putting arm on a married woman's waist during photo [closed]

How appropriate is it as a single guy to put his arm on a married woman's waist during a photo? Does this count as a friendly gesture or inappropriate behavior?
3
votes
2answers
839 views

Confronting an Inconsiderate Co-Worker

A little background: I am very conflict averse. I go out of my way to be friendly and accommodating. Recently I was promoted at work, but I am in a different group. I used to be in a technical ...
73
votes
8answers
21k views

How to quickly end a date?

I use a dating app to go on dates with people I have never seen in person. Usually we spend 1-2 hours to go for some coffee etc. I've had dates turn up that e.g. don't look like their picture/...
18
votes
3answers
6k views

For how long after New Year's Day is it appropriate to wish people all the best for the new year?

Today is my first day back at the office after a two-week vacation, and so there's a lot of handshakes and well-wishing ('happy new year', 'best wishes') going on. Which raised a fun discussion ...
2
votes
2answers
5k views

How to deal with “why not” as a response to the a why question? [closed]

I work with people who when asked "why are you doing it that way" or "why [any question]?" their response is always "why not"? My feeling is always that this a frivolous response and indicates a poor ...
101
votes
11answers
35k views

Complimenting a female co-worker without coming across as flirting?

I am asking this question for a friend. My friend is straight, male, and married to a woman and loyal to his wife. He is a somewhat socially awkward person. He works in an office of software ...
35
votes
2answers
4k views

Is it appropriate to ask for the text of a eulogy?

At a funeral there is usually a eulogy by family or close friend of the deceased. This usually covers interesting details of their lives. Unfortunately, just hearing it once means you'll miss things. ...
3
votes
2answers
695 views

How to convey interest after I've declined multiple invitations?

My neighbor who lives across the hall from me in my apartment building is clearly trying to extend an olive branch of friendship. We met at a community gathering for residents a little over a month ...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

How to ask people not to push in front of me at concerts?

I have some experience with concerts (mostly heavy-metal ones, but pretty sure it's the same for any genre). And every time some people try get to the front rows either by just walking as they have a ...
11
votes
2answers
4k views

Etiquette when someone’s birthday is on the same day as the funeral of one of their loved ones

Bob’s grandmother passed away last week. Her funeral is today. It is also Bob’s birthday today. I am attending the funeral. Obviously, I offer him condolences, but do I wish him a happy birthday too? ...
19
votes
10answers
27k views

Pointing the index fingers to one another as a way to excuse oneself: is this a common gesture?

I grew up in Italy, and there is a gesture I use that I'm wondering whether is strictly Italian or is used/understood elsewhere. It means either of: "I know this may bother you, but I'd really ...
2
votes
2answers
531 views

Etiquette about crossing a door when someone also wants to cross from the opposite side?

Let's take the following situation: I'm on the outside and want to go inside Someone is inside and want to go outside The door is open (one of us is holding it) There isn't enough room for both of ...
3
votes
2answers
348 views

What is the etiquette around greetings in online communication in India?

Background I work with people from a rather diverse set of cultures. We are spread across several cities, so most of our communication takes place on Slack. I have several co-workers who are from ...
14
votes
2answers
1k views

How do express my condolences, when I couldn't show up at the funeral?

Two days ago, one of my old relatives passed away. His family lives 900km away and due to my job, I couldn't show up at funeral. Where I live it's important to show up. I've thought of calling his ...
12
votes
2answers
1k views

Who pays for the date?

I am from northern Europe, but currently live in China. I was going to be a speaker at this social event at a cafe. I asked a Taiwanese woman if she would like to join me to the event (just me and her)...
5
votes
1answer
336 views

Is it acceptable to ask about visitation or memorial service for a funeral?

A family friend's wife died and they were very poor. I'm planning to call him soon, but I'm still hesitant about asking for visitation or memorial service. The only reason I think it could be rude/...

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