Questions tagged [family]

For any issues related to family or families. Whether it is the questioners family or someone else's family. Can be used for questions relating to gatherings for families.

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175
votes
14answers
34k views

How to tell people I'm not their tech support?

I have a rather common problem for people in my field of study (computer science). The problem is this: People, especially relatives, ask you stuff about their computer-related problems, for example: "...
104
votes
9answers
22k views

How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset?

A close family member of mine is a raw vegan, anti vaxer, anti-antibiotics, anti-fluoride, believes in chemtrails, has a machine that filters water and makes it alkaline, eats lots of supplements, ...
18
votes
1answer
1k views

What is “holding space” and how do I do it?

I recently came across an article titled A Man's Guide To "Holding Space", which was linked in an answer to this question. I had never heard the term before, but recognised some of my own ...
19
votes
7answers
3k views

Managing a bad temper in close relationships

I've always had a short fuse. I've been quick to rise and lose my temper, but on the flip side I'm quick to get over it when others lose their cool. The problem is that others usually are not, ...
22
votes
6answers
10k views

How do I or my husband tell my mother in law she smells?

She is fully able bodied and not short of money. She has a hoarding problem, and her house just smells musty. She needs to do more washing basically. The other day, she babysat for us. When we ...
7
votes
2answers
2k views

How to talk to my sister about not spending as much time with her?

Background: Growing up, I was always close with my sister because I spent a lot of time with her and told her everything. As I grew older and went to college, I began spending less time with her and ...
176
votes
20answers
67k views

How to avoid being seen as a cash cow by my family?

Situation I'm German, in my mid-20s and currently living together with my girlfriend without kids. I earn a fairly good salary for my age compared to other family members and was always a saver (cheap ...
56
votes
7answers
16k views

How do I tell my close-ones that I don't appreciate it when they say I look like a bird?

While I ultimately believe that my family and friends love me and would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, there is a certain culture among my immediate and extended family members and my ...
14
votes
4answers
2k views

How do I explain to extended family/acquaintances that my husband has high-functioning Autism, and has particular habits?

So, I have been married since March 2018 to my loving husband. All through our relationship, I have known that he has mild aspergers, combined with being very introverted and deaf (I am deaf as well) ...
20
votes
3answers
12k views

How to tell someone that they are eating with their mouth open?

I'm from France and I've been educated with "eating manners" I consider "normal" (chew with your mouth closed, don't put your elbows on the table, wait until everyone is served before starting to eat.....
7
votes
3answers
881 views

How do I steer the conversation with my Mom away from the same few topics we always discuss?

Of the handful of phone calls I make every week, the one with my mom is by far the most socially draining; we always talk about the same topics every time: me, my pregnancy, her work, her finances and ...
22
votes
7answers
9k views

How can I convince my 'cousin sister' that the man she loves is of 'bad character?'

I did use the India tag as a matter of course, but as always welcome answers from members all over the world. Why? Because some of the most helpful answers to my previous India-tagged questions came ...
6
votes
3answers
2k views

Asking family members to not send gifts

Note: This is similar to How do I effectively forestall gifts for my birthday?, but this is specifically about family members, and isn't in the context of a party. I want a specific person to stop ...
135
votes
18answers
41k views

How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding?

My parents are away from home for little private holidays on a quite regular basis (once every 2/3 months), where they leave me home alone with my 2 brothers for 2-5 days. I'm a 26-year-old female, my ...
114
votes
17answers
36k views

How can I respond when someone asks me when I'm going to get married to my girlfriend?

Frequently I'll have my friends and family tease me, or ask questions about when my girlfriend and I are going to get married. Sometimes, they'll even make these kinds of jokes to me while she's ...
40
votes
9answers
30k views

How to talk to my brother-in-law about my concerns about his intent to propose to his girlfriend?

I was born and raised in Italy and got married to a wonderful girl from Spain whom I met in the UK. A year ago my brother-in-law has met a nice girl from Italy and held a long distance relationship ...
62
votes
7answers
14k views

How to politely stress that I do not wish to eat something?

A couple of weeks ago me and my partner decided to change our diet/lifestyle to a mostly plant based diet. It has made us feel much better and happier. We make the occasional exception here and there ...
60
votes
7answers
22k views

How to ask my father in law to stop entering our house unannounced?

My father in law refuses to listen to our requests not to work in/on our house during weekdays. So, there's a bit of a backstory here. We bought a house 8 months ago, started renovating and during ...
32
votes
8answers
9k views

How to deal with person offloading their indecision on their host under guise of kindness?

Hard to come up with a succinct title for this question, but a few sentences should clarify: My partner and I are hosting a relative of my partner for a 2 week visit. There's a reoccurring issue ...
61
votes
12answers
16k views

How do I tell my parents “I don't want to go to church” over the holidays?

This is a little bit of a complicated problem. My mom and dad are both Catholic, and they have a tradition - every Easter and Christmas, they take the immediate family (themselves, me, and my sister) ...
44
votes
6answers
9k views

How can I convince my parents to respect my privacy?

I am a 14-year-old Egyptian Muslim currently living with my parents. When I try to keep my room's door closed, my parents are always like "Why close it?" and when I reply "I want some privacy" they ...
27
votes
9answers
12k views

How can I get my sister to stop asking me to help her smoke?

My sister is in the hospital. She’s a smoker and has run out of cigarettes and is asking me to bring her more. She is not hospitalized because of her smoking. I strongly disagree with smoking and ...
19
votes
4answers
2k views

How can I explain my reduced social activity when depression is stigmatised?

I lost my job a few months ago, and was struggling to find a new one with no success. This led me to becoming less motivated each day, until the point that suicide slipped into my mind - which I ...
33
votes
2answers
4k views

How to get my wife to accept bisexuality before our daughter comes out of the closet?

My oldest daughter is 19 and told me last halloween that she's bi. My daughter is amazingly high functioning (mentally, socially, even professionally) but is living at home at the moment because ...
20
votes
5answers
4k views

How to convey who will be asked to join my wife and me in the delivery room without causing offense?

My wife and I have just started trying to expand our family. Last night, the topic randomly came up of who should be in the delivery room with us (if we are lucky enough to conceive) as my wife asked ...
8
votes
2answers
6k views

How can I come up with good conversation-starters? [closed]

When talking to people, I often find myself in an "awkward silence". This is usually with acquaintances or friends-of-friends. Let's say I'm at a family gathering on Thanksgiving (United States). I ...
71
votes
21answers
26k views

How do I deal with a mother who won't take “no” for an answer?

My mother is quite single-minded in getting what she wants. Unfortunately, she also has only a single tactic: trying to convince me every single time we talk. Most of these things are products or ...
31
votes
9answers
11k views

How can I tell my aunt that I won't be 'Santa' next year

My family has a very large Christmas get-together every year in which there is a tradition where one of the cousins (aged 20-30) will dress up as Santa (Edit: "Santa" for this is very gender neutral - ...
16
votes
3answers
8k views

How do I help my girlfriend defend herself against manipulative parents?

Some Background My girlfriend's family moved to the US about 2 years ago to escape their home country (which is going through political and economic turmoil) to start over. Her mom sells insurance, ...
16
votes
3answers
5k views

How to deal with someone that pigeonholes others?

A close relative was recently engaged to this very sweet and friendly woman (aged 24) who happens to have a rather bad trait. She's very quick to pigeonhole people. Meaning she places people in ...
12
votes
3answers
3k views

What to do if my family keeps trying to fix my relationship with a family member?

I've been estranged from my abusive mother for some time now. We always had problems and she suddenly stopped talking to me, which by no means upset me - I've been feeling better after this, because ...
4
votes
3answers
4k views

How do I make people stop seeing me as a child? [duplicate]

English is not my mother tongue so please be indulgent. In my family, we are pretty close to each other. I mean, when I say "family", it includes aunts, uncles and cousins. With my big sister, we ...
15
votes
4answers
2k views

Talking over my family and interrupting them

I have a tendency of talking over my family and interrupting during conversations. It's a bad habit and then I break the other person's concentration and often miss out on what they're going to say. ...
13
votes
2answers
3k views

What to keep in mind when telling an aunt how wrong her actions are, without creating further family conflict?

In a few weeks, my grandparents will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary by having a family dinner. My grandparents made 2 decisions about that dinner: To only invite their children, their ...
10
votes
5answers
1k views

How do I get my father back after an extended time of being estranged?

Long story short: my mother recently has been diagnosed with an inoperable malignant brain tumor and her biggest wish is for us to mend our relationship before she dies. My father and I have had ...
9
votes
6answers
4k views

How can my cousin restore harmony between his Indian mother and American mother-in-law?

Someone asked me in a comment, what is my role in all this? Good question. I am not at all close with Aunt but I am close with my cousin (son of Aunt) and he needs help to keep his mother and mother-...
6
votes
5answers
966 views

Why the closer the relationship is, the worse conflict we experience? [closed]

Related: Managing a bad temper in close relationships I believe most of us have similar problem. We try to avoid conflict with strangers by polite behavior, but we struggle to do the same with our ...
6
votes
1answer
705 views

How do I call out (tell him his behavior is unacceptable) a narcissistic father?

TL;DR: I want to communicate to my narcissistic father that it is unacceptable that he is attempting to blackmail my sister. Refer to my past questions for more information regarding my father and ...
21
votes
1answer
2k views

How to avoid having to kiss my mother on the cheek without offending her

On a regular basis my Mother is absolutely insistent that I give her a kiss on the cheek whenever I go out to a certain location, or just at certain times. Now I have no issues with hugging her, ...
21
votes
1answer
2k views

How to help my child come out as a trans woman to extended family?

My daughter was brave enough to come out to us that she is a woman. That story is on Parenting SE. My daughter would like to come out to the extended family well before the holidays so that people ...
12
votes
3answers
983 views

Asking family members to respect my space

I am a 17 year old female living with my parents, a brother and sister. Everyday when I get back from school I enjoy my alone time in my room as I get tired of being around people the whole day quite ...
11
votes
6answers
7k views

How to ask parents to stop commenting about my weight?

I'm an Asian college girl. My university is abroad, so I only come home during long break e.g. summer. Every time I am home, my parents would be very critical about my weight literally every day. ...
11
votes
4answers
999 views

Telling parents that it's okay if their child doesn't kiss me

I have cousins who both have children. Whenever we see each other, my cousins always told their children to "go kiss Ælis" but the children are sometimes reluctant to kiss me (which I can ...
10
votes
3answers
2k views

How to deal with someone who always feels treated disrespectfully?

I already asked this question before, and it was deleted for being off-topic (also because I did not check back for too long, and thus was unable to adjust my post according to the comments / the ...
5
votes
4answers
2k views

How to keep an interesting conversation going when there's a dog present at family gatherings?

I try to pay a regular visit my grandparents once a week, and on special occasions like their birthdays. Most of these visits coincide with my aunt, uncle and cousins being there as well. They also ...
3
votes
2answers
1k views

How to ask close family and friends to stop casually joking about things that are hurtful to you?

I am an outgoing person. I have no problem interacting with people and making friends, nor do I have an ego problem. But I have recently noticed that sometimes when I am just hanging out with family ...
2
votes
2answers
505 views

How do I convey to a family member that the deadline for moving out is non-negotiable when they responded emotionally to a previous attempt?

Summary Over Christmas my spouse and I took in a family member who needed somewhere to stay temporarily. They contacted us because we were (and still are) the only family who had a spare room and, ...