Questions tagged [family]

For any issues related to family or families. Whether it is the questioners family or someone else's family. Can be used for questions relating to gatherings for families.

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181
votes
12answers
38k views

How can I convey to my technologically inept parents that my IT job is mentally draining

To preface my question, I am an Irish 21 year old male currently on a college work placement. I work Monday through Friday from 7:30 AM - 5:00 PM as an RPA developer and Business Analyst. I commute ...
176
votes
20answers
68k views

How to avoid being seen as a cash cow by my family?

Situation I'm German, in my mid-20s and currently living together with my girlfriend without kids. I earn a fairly good salary for my age compared to other family members and was always a saver (cheap ...
175
votes
14answers
34k views

How to tell people I'm not their tech support?

I have a rather common problem for people in my field of study (computer science). The problem is this: People, especially relatives, ask you stuff about their computer-related problems, for example: "...
136
votes
18answers
41k views

How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding?

My parents are away from home for little private holidays on a quite regular basis (once every 2/3 months), where they leave me home alone with my 2 brothers for 2-5 days. I'm a 26-year-old female, my ...
114
votes
17answers
36k views

How can I respond when someone asks me when I'm going to get married to my girlfriend?

Frequently I'll have my friends and family tease me, or ask questions about when my girlfriend and I are going to get married. Sometimes, they'll even make these kinds of jokes to me while she's ...
104
votes
9answers
22k views

How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset?

A close family member of mine is a raw vegan, anti vaxer, anti-antibiotics, anti-fluoride, believes in chemtrails, has a machine that filters water and makes it alkaline, eats lots of supplements, ...
100
votes
11answers
26k views

I have been asked to keep a secret about a surprise that I believe will end poorly

My parents have been divorced for roughly 40 years. The separation was unpleasant, as divorces frequently are, but so were the following decades. They have not spoken to each other outside of a ...
78
votes
14answers
21k views

How can I stress to my brother the importance of saving when he relies on me as a safety net?

My younger brother has a wife and two daughters and has habit of spending money. For example, he likes going to movies often, eating out often, and buying name brand clothes. I also have a wife and ...
76
votes
8answers
17k views

My grandmother doesn't talk or communicate any more. How can I be good company to her?

My grandmother is over 90 years old, and lives in a retirement home. She can't do anything alone anymore, almost not even move, and basically she is in bed all day, almost only sleeping. There are ...
74
votes
12answers
17k views

How to convince my parents I'm happy with my social life?

Context I'm 19 years old and I live with my mother. I completed an apprenticeship in software engineering earlier this year. I'm now working full time at the company where I finished my ...
71
votes
21answers
27k views

How do I deal with a mother who won't take “no” for an answer?

My mother is quite single-minded in getting what she wants. Unfortunately, she also has only a single tactic: trying to convince me every single time we talk. Most of these things are products or ...
68
votes
11answers
33k views

How can I politely tell a family who invited me for dinner that I'm still hungry?

This is about a friend's family and what would often happen during dinners (mom in her 50's, dad in his 60's). Examples One time, the mom had cooked 1 packet of ravioli for 5 people, and she urged ...
64
votes
10answers
22k views

Parent asked grandparents to take the grandkids out of the will

A few years ago I overheard my mom talking to her mom about removing the grandchildren from their will. My mom was making the point that she doesn't want us having everything handed to us, how we need ...
62
votes
7answers
14k views

How to politely stress that I do not wish to eat something?

A couple of weeks ago me and my partner decided to change our diet/lifestyle to a mostly plant based diet. It has made us feel much better and happier. We make the occasional exception here and there ...
61
votes
12answers
16k views

How do I tell my parents “I don't want to go to church” over the holidays?

This is a little bit of a complicated problem. My mom and dad are both Catholic, and they have a tradition - every Easter and Christmas, they take the immediate family (themselves, me, and my sister) ...
60
votes
7answers
22k views

How to ask my father in law to stop entering our house unannounced?

My father in law refuses to listen to our requests not to work in/on our house during weekdays. So, there's a bit of a backstory here. We bought a house 8 months ago, started renovating and during ...
59
votes
5answers
12k views

How to befriend someone who doesn't like to talk?

Background: I’m a 22-year-old woman, my brother is a 25-year-old man. We were close growing up, but around high school we drifted apart. As of now I wouldn’t say there’s much friendship between us at ...
59
votes
5answers
22k views

Which pitfalls should I watch out for when meeting my half-brother who hasn't been aware of my existence for 25 years?

I've been adopted at early age and have no recollection of my biological parents. My adoptive parents have told me at a young age that I was adopted. Because this fact became integrated into my life ...
58
votes
13answers
17k views

How do I tell my mother that I'm an atheist?

I live with my mother, my grandmother and my cousin, who is also an atheist. I've had a feeling for a couple of years that I should let my mother and my family know that I no longer believe in God, ...
56
votes
18answers
15k views

How do you deal with someone who's pushing you without explaining yourself?

There are certain people, especially family members you see from time to time or other close relatives, who simply don't know where to stop when offering you something. Usually it's about drinking ...
56
votes
6answers
17k views

Stepmother wants me to sign for life insurance without consulting a lawyer, how do I tell her that I will only do this after talking to one?

Background: I am a 20 years old male, living alone in Austria I have two stepsisters and a stepmother and my father is deceased I lived together with my stepmother for the last 10 years, but moved ...
56
votes
7answers
16k views

How do I tell my close-ones that I don't appreciate it when they say I look like a bird?

While I ultimately believe that my family and friends love me and would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, there is a certain culture among my immediate and extended family members and my ...
54
votes
4answers
20k views

My cousin doesn't know that I know he received money that belongs to me - how do I approach him about receiving the money?

My cousin was supposed to receive money from a sale, keep a percentage and then send the rest over to me. I found out that not only did he receive more money from the sale of my item ($550 instead of ...
54
votes
9answers
14k views

How can I express my concerns about my underage brother drinking alcoholic beverages to him without sounding like I'm his mom?

So, recently my youngest brother (he's 16, I'm 26) had a party of a classmate. Mom and dad did allow him to go, and he did just fine. He lived by the rules, he sent a message when he arrived safely ...
53
votes
3answers
9k views

How to decline physical affection from a child whose parents are pressuring them?

My Situation I am an uncle to 6 nieces and nephews. I live about 1000 miles away from the rest of my family, so I only see them 2-3 times each year. When it comes time to say goodbye, it is common ...
51
votes
12answers
11k views

How to tell family members that they should not downplay your major?

My girlfriend is studying both math and Computer Science (CS) at the best university in Poland, which is literally the hardest way to get through university. The acceptance policy says that they only ...
49
votes
7answers
9k views

How to avoid short answers when talking to my family? [duplicate]

I am a 30 year old programmer, and I feel like becoming more and more a "program" myself. When talking with friends or families, except for a certain group of friends with whom it's always ...
48
votes
5answers
12k views

My sister has an alcohol and drug addiction. How can I get people to stop asking me about her?

I have a younger sibling, let’s call her Sarah. Who has a severe alcohol and drug addiction problem. I’m talking 9 separate rehabs, 10 in hospital detox’s and 4 different events in which she was ...
46
votes
12answers
13k views

How can I try to have my mom help me understand why she won't accept a sincere apology?

Background: About 8 years ago, we started having some serious trouble with a couple of neighbors (which slowly escalated to call-the-cops and get-a-lawyer kind of trouble). There was some property ...
46
votes
10answers
16k views

How to tell your grandparent to not come to fetch you with their car?

I often come to visit my grandparents during the weekend and they will always come to fetch me at the train station in their car. However, my grandpa (who is the one driving) is old and his vision has ...
45
votes
11answers
62k views

How to deal with my boyfriend’s mother without affecting my relationship with him?

Background I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years now and even if everything is perfect with him and I couldn’t be happier, it is not the same with his family and especially with his mother, who ...
44
votes
8answers
15k views

How to tell my Mom that I don't care about someone without upsetting her?

Last week my Grandmother had surgery. My Mom asked me why I didn't visit her. I don't care about my Grandmother due to horrible things she does sometimes. For example, out of revenge, she creates ...
44
votes
5answers
12k views

How can I ask a possible long-lost relative to prove his identity?

I found myself in a peculiar situation yesterday. I was contacted via Facebook by a person (let's call him Bob) who claimed that he was one of my mom's cousins and hadn't talked to her in over 40 ...
44
votes
6answers
9k views

How can I convince my parents to respect my privacy?

I am a 14-year-old Egyptian Muslim currently living with my parents. When I try to keep my room's door closed, my parents are always like "Why close it?" and when I reply "I want some privacy" they ...
43
votes
5answers
20k views

How to handle my girlfriend's parents' attitude to asking her for money?

I'm asking this question on behalf of my girlfriend because she's asking me for help but I'm not sure on how to handle this situation. A little bit of background: My girlfriend's parents moved from ...
41
votes
7answers
31k views

How can I ask my parents to stop calling me when I'm out or ask me where I'm going?

I'm 24 years old, have my own career, my own car but I live with my parents and my 2 younger brothers. I live my life quite independently. One of the problems I constantly face from my parents is ...
40
votes
9answers
31k views

How to talk to my brother-in-law about my concerns about his intent to propose to his girlfriend?

I was born and raised in Italy and got married to a wonderful girl from Spain whom I met in the UK. A year ago my brother-in-law has met a nice girl from Italy and held a long distance relationship ...
38
votes
13answers
36k views

How do I ask my dad's friend if he's interested in me?

This has been something on my mind that I just can't seem to shake off. Backstory: My family has a group of other families that we regularly meet up with. We vacation, have dinners, etc. My dad has ...
37
votes
17answers
14k views

Dad wants me to invite his mother to my wedding. How to push it back?

Long story short, my fiancée and I wanted a small wedding. As small as 5 people max, signing the papers and eating at home. There are 34 guests invited now, eating at a restaurant at a cost of 165€ (...
37
votes
15answers
6k views

How to find out how my father would like us to decide for him with regard to medical treatment?

So, this weekend my mom and dad both signed some official paperwork, which my dad handed to me with a 'read it carefully please'. The paperwork gives me and my brothers the power to make decisions for ...
36
votes
13answers
19k views

How do I respond to catching someone in an embarrassing situation?

There are no religious or other prejudices against / bans on onanism, so this is not an issue. It's just about the awkwardness of the situation. This happened some time ago and I still wonder what I ...
35
votes
7answers
42k views

How to approach an inevitable breakup after sudden death in partner's family?

Ever since this happened, things have been very tense between my girlfriend and me. I spend every night at our apartment now, however I don't believe she trusts me at all anymore, and our ...
35
votes
5answers
8k views

How to ask my boyfriend's family if it bothers them that I'm coming along

I am in a romantic relationship with a very close friend of mine (we are both French and in the early 20s). We have been very close for years and we have been living together for a few months now. We ...
35
votes
6answers
14k views

How to make girlfriend feel better about health and body

For context, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now, and we're really close, especially when it comes to talking things over. We would both describe ourselves as nerds, and would ...
34
votes
12answers
11k views

How to stop family from pushing me to forgive and forget?

(Some similarities to this question, except that I have explained, and my family is not on my side.) I have been avoiding / ignoring my sister for the past ~6 months, after she seriously hurt me. I ...
33
votes
7answers
7k views

How can I make my parents (and parents-in-law) accept that I don't want to have children? [duplicate]

First I would like to give a bit of context: My companion and I are 25 years old; we will probably get married in a few years I luckily have a comfortable situation, and have been working for 2 years ...
33
votes
2answers
4k views

How to get my wife to accept bisexuality before our daughter comes out of the closet?

My oldest daughter is 19 and told me last halloween that she's bi. My daughter is amazingly high functioning (mentally, socially, even professionally) but is living at home at the moment because ...
32
votes
4answers
16k views

How do I convince my Mom I’m not inviting my brother to someone else’s bachelor party?

My friend is getting married, and another mutual friend is planning his bachelor party, to which I’ve been invited (we’re all in our early 30s). Initially, my mother wanted me to take it upon myself ...
32
votes
8answers
9k views

How to deal with person offloading their indecision on their host under guise of kindness?

Hard to come up with a succinct title for this question, but a few sentences should clarify: My partner and I are hosting a relative of my partner for a 2 week visit. There's a reoccurring issue ...
31
votes
6answers
18k views

How to communicate to my aunt that she made an honest mistake when buying food for a family meal?

TL;DR My aunt bought some houmous thinking it was vegan when it wasn't. How do I tell her she made a mistake without upsetting her? Background The other day, I was at a family dinner. My aunt didn't ...

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