Questions tagged [family]

For any issues related to family or families. Whether it is the questioners family or someone else's family. Can be used for questions relating to gatherings for families.

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78
votes
14answers
21k views

How can I stress to my brother the importance of saving when he relies on me as a safety net?

My younger brother has a wife and two daughters and has habit of spending money. For example, he likes going to movies often, eating out often, and buying name brand clothes. I also have a wife and ...
2
votes
0answers
251 views

How to respond to someone being late with a favor [closed]

A relative of mine is doing me a favor. I didn't ask him for it, he offered it, but I'm genuinely happy that he wants to do it for me. He promised me to do it this week, but today he sent me a message ...
5
votes
0answers
700 views

Should I leave my dad? [closed]

I'm 19, I just graduated in May. I'm planning on joining the Air Force soon but due to the state of my family, I feel some guilt about doing this and leaving my dad. My family has very strong ...
27
votes
9answers
12k views

How can I get my sister to stop asking me to help her smoke?

My sister is in the hospital. She’s a smoker and has run out of cigarettes and is asking me to bring her more. She is not hospitalized because of her smoking. I strongly disagree with smoking and ...
3
votes
4answers
622 views

How can I work with my family to respect my boundaries when it comes to event planning when my husband is in town?

I'm in a long distance marriage right now - my husband is American, I am Canadian. He comes to visit me periodically (and I him), and when we do visits here, my family is very insistent that we do ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

How to stop unwanted advice about my pet?

Me and my partner have an indoor cat. She stays in our apartment except when we are away travelling, then we take her to my partner's parents to look after her until we get back (this happens 2-3 ...
35
votes
7answers
41k views

How to approach an inevitable breakup after sudden death in partner's family?

Ever since this happened, things have been very tense between my girlfriend and me. I spend every night at our apartment now, however I don't believe she trusts me at all anymore, and our ...
3
votes
3answers
651 views

Is there a way to ask a person to not ask so many questions without coming across as rude?

My aunt asks a lot of questions, some of which come across as invasive or non-constructive. One example is we were planning to meet at a mutual family members house and she kept asking me questions ...
13
votes
5answers
5k views

How to clarify to a person that I don't want her to talk to me about a certain topic anymore?

Every time my grandmother talks to me (everyday since I live in their house for almost a year now) she brings up a sensitive topic. This situation has been going on for about 4 months now and I can’t ...
58
votes
13answers
17k views

How do I tell my mother that I'm an atheist?

I live with my mother, my grandmother and my cousin, who is also an atheist. I've had a feeling for a couple of years that I should let my mother and my family know that I no longer believe in God, ...
18
votes
6answers
31k views

My boyfriend has issues with his parents, how do I support him without ending up in his parents bad books? [closed]

Some Background My boyfriend (bf) is 21, living at home. He is the youngest of three boys (his brothers are 29 and 23 respectively, neither of them are at home much). His parents are 54 (mom) and 65 (...
18
votes
5answers
4k views

How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing?

Context I currently live with my family, in a fairly sizeable house. My sister also lives at home, as does her boyfriend who has grown to be my closest friend. Both of our main hobbies is mechanical ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

What to tell family who ask about a friend I had a falling out with? [closed]

I had a very friend who I was close with that I knew for a long time. My family even knew him from birthday parties and we had gone on trips together etc. My friend recently involved me in a scam and ...
2
votes
1answer
390 views

How to argue with father who denies everything and makes illogical arguments? [closed]

Not sure how to approach this question so please bear with me. Every member of my family, including me, has a problem with my father's behaviour. I am trying to find a way to solve it. Background ...
16
votes
3answers
8k views

How do I help my girlfriend defend herself against manipulative parents?

Some Background My girlfriend's family moved to the US about 2 years ago to escape their home country (which is going through political and economic turmoil) to start over. Her mom sells insurance, ...
7
votes
2answers
2k views

How to talk to my sister about not spending as much time with her?

Background: Growing up, I was always close with my sister because I spent a lot of time with her and told her everything. As I grew older and went to college, I began spending less time with her and ...
3
votes
2answers
644 views

How do I send money as wedding gift [closed]

My cousin is getting married. She is considerably younger in age and we live in different parts of the country. I would not be attending the wedding. I know how much I would like to gift. But how can ...
11
votes
4answers
3k views

How to convince a family member to stop victimizing themselves?

Situation: My grandmother moved away from the bulk of our family almost two (2) years ago now. As the flights are expensive, she only tends to visit a few times a year. However, every time she visits ...
37
votes
17answers
14k views

Dad wants me to invite his mother to my wedding. How to push it back?

Long story short, my fiancée and I wanted a small wedding. As small as 5 people max, signing the papers and eating at home. There are 34 guests invited now, eating at a restaurant at a cost of 165€ (...
5
votes
4answers
879 views

How to clarify things with my team members as they think I am delaying projects being a procrastinator?

I work in the IT sector and I believe in perfection and following industry best practices in my work. People in my team believe in delivering projects early and earning brownie points even if the ...
13
votes
4answers
7k views

How do I motivate my partner to study a certain field?

Background: I am an engineer, but I like to do more than that. I have some hobbies that also bring some extra cash. My wife, on the other hand, she doesn't work right now. She is looking for a job, ...
3
votes
1answer
5k views

My mother and girlfriend hates each other. What can I do? [closed]

To make things clear, I really love my mother and my girlfriend. About my mother: she gave me everything in life. She really loves me, and do her best to take care of me. But I can not deny that she ...
33
votes
7answers
7k views

How can I make my parents (and parents-in-law) accept that I don't want to have children? [duplicate]

First I would like to give a bit of context: My companion and I are 25 years old; we will probably get married in a few years I luckily have a comfortable situation, and have been working for 2 years ...
7
votes
6answers
2k views

How can I talk to my brother about spanking his child?

I recently found out that my brother spanks his son, who is four. I overheard my parents talking about a recent incident where my brother spanked his child. I don't know any details other than the ...
0
votes
1answer
379 views

What to do about parent suspecting another of a crime? [closed]

I come here out of urgency and anonymonity. Recently, I've learned that one of my parents suspects the other of, for lack of a better word, molesting me. He suspects that a few months ago on a trip ...
4
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I safely talk with my sister about her health?

The Background I have grown up in a very athletic household. Every season, a different sport. On vacation, our family would constantly be biking around, swimming at the beach, skiing in the winter, ...
5
votes
4answers
3k views

How to Handle Judgmental Sibling

My older sibling always seems to judge me and undermine my interests and achievements. We both graduated from reputable universities in our respective fields (mine being technology and theirs being ...
19
votes
4answers
10k views

How do I tell my sisters not to befriend a toxic friend?

I am the eldest son in my family. I have younger sisters in their early 20s. The problem is they are really attached to their friends that I consider toxic, a bad influence on my sisters. Some of ...
9
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I help my father understand our dog's needs?

Our family dog is a very cheerful border collie. She's great with people, kids too, but not with other dogs. She is scared of them. We got her when she was a year old and she never learned to walk on ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

How do I caution my brother about getting married two weeks after meeting someone?

My older brother met a girl 10 days ago. Yesterday he announced to the family that they are engaged, and today we were told that they would be getting married sometime next week. The whole family is ...
8
votes
3answers
588 views

How can I properly express my true academic and career ambitions to my father?

I'm currently a junior/senior in High School, currently looking for colleges. My father has taken it upon himself to help me find a college that would best suit what he believes to be my ambitions: a ...
4
votes
0answers
555 views

Parents found out I'd bought herbal cigarettes. How could I have parents regain trust in me? [closed]

This is my first post. I'm new here, so tell me if I make a mistake. I'll be happy to follow. Here goes. So I'd tried buying these things called herbal cigarettes online. My parents didn't know. I ...
7
votes
3answers
891 views

How do I steer the conversation with my Mom away from the same few topics we always discuss?

Of the handful of phone calls I make every week, the one with my mom is by far the most socially draining; we always talk about the same topics every time: me, my pregnancy, her work, her finances and ...
14
votes
2answers
2k views

How do I tell my parents I won't be able to help them?

My parents' health is deteriorating fast and it won't be long before they cannot look after themselves. We have no relatives or friends who could help them. I live clear across the country but the ...
12
votes
4answers
4k views

How do I tell a relative that I don't want them to spend their vacations in my house

Context: I'm a 26 years old South American, and up until mid last year I lived with my parents. In June I moved countries (7,000 miles) because of work and now I live alone, and so far I very much ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

Close relative refuses to acknowledge being deeply in debt

Note: the text uses "they" when talking about the person in question to preserve anonymity. A few years ago I was living with a close relative of mine and their parents, and I became aware that the ...
12
votes
5answers
1k views

While in a bad mood, how to tell others I should be left alone?

I have a problem with my moods. Some days I am happy, excited to be alive, and others it's the opposite. Picture a sullen teenager who won't say a word, is negative about everything if they do, doesn'...
2
votes
1answer
902 views

My mother taunt me everytime she wants oppose my opinion [closed]

The problem is that she always use a taunt to hurt my feelings and self esteem. There are two situation every time when I interact with my mother. Either negative or positive, there has never been a ...
47
votes
5answers
12k views

My sister has an alcohol and drug addiction. How can I get people to stop asking me about her?

I have a younger sibling, let’s call her Sarah. Who has a severe alcohol and drug addiction problem. I’m talking 9 separate rehabs, 10 in hospital detox’s and 4 different events in which she was ...
8
votes
2answers
836 views

Strange interactions with a relative/coworker preemptively deflecting blame

There's someone I deal with regularly -- let's call her Betty. Betty and I are closely related and we work together on various projects that she directs. Sometimes I run into a difficult situation ...
8
votes
1answer
886 views

Personal Space, Boundaries and a “Hands Off” policy

I realize that this topic has been covered (probably many times) before, but here is my situation: My fiancè's sister has before her some unique challenges. First, she is handicapped (by her own ...
28
votes
6answers
20k views

How should I respond to someone cleaning my house without me asking?

So I asked a family member to nip to my house to get something while I was at work and when I got home they had thoroughly cleaned most of my house except for the bedrooms. I don't mean they quickly ...
6
votes
1answer
924 views

Engage wife in comforting son

My wife and I have a 2 year old son. From about 2 months after he was born, I somehow become almost exclusively responsible of the night time comforting of our son. It has now reached a point that ...
9
votes
2answers
2k views

How to tell my girlfriend, my friends and relatives that I might have alexithymia, without making it sound like an excuse?

Context: I'm a 25 years old, Brazilian, programmer, living alone for 5 years now. I acknowledge some bad traits that I have such as excessive laziness, huge need for hours of sleep, very connected to ...
3
votes
0answers
640 views

How to deal with a friend mocking my family? [closed]

I am 21 years old and have these friends who went to school with me. They were my classmates back then. We were close during our school days, but departed in our own ways once the school was over. We ...
1
vote
1answer
302 views

How to address I'm sending a thank you card late

I recently got married a few months ago and received a nice gift from an aunt and uncle. We sent them a thank you card. Unfortunately, we had the address wrong, and the card was returned to us in a ...
1
vote
1answer
695 views

How do I tactfully defuse a wrathful person unpacking anger on weaker target?

To be clear and answer to a comment: I don't need validation for my actions, the validation came from the aftermath. I am however asking for alternate methods and I'm narrating the story for context ...
56
votes
18answers
15k views

How do you deal with someone who's pushing you without explaining yourself?

There are certain people, especially family members you see from time to time or other close relatives, who simply don't know where to stop when offering you something. Usually it's about drinking ...
3
votes
2answers
228 views

How do I convince my father to use his cell phone? [closed]

My (68 y/o) father does not use, upgrade, or keep his cell phone with him at all. His current phone is a very old Iphone, perhaps a ver. 5, and he generally leaves it at home when he goes out to do ...
0
votes
1answer
323 views

Telling mother about miscarriage [closed]

I am the oldest child in a family of three kids. When I was a young teen, my mother announced her fourth pregnancy and I reacted badly, by crying all evening. I do not remember why this news made me ...

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