Questions tagged [family]

For any issues related to family or families. Whether it is the questioners family or someone else's family. Can be used for questions relating to gatherings for families.

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31
votes
9answers
11k views

How can I tell my aunt that I won't be 'Santa' next year

My family has a very large Christmas get-together every year in which there is a tradition where one of the cousins (aged 20-30) will dress up as Santa (Edit: "Santa" for this is very gender neutral - ...
31
votes
10answers
13k views

How do I address my mother's concerns about my boyfriend's smoking?

My boyfriend smokes tobacco. (Once in a while, he might roll a joint. It helps him relax. I don't mind it because it's not on a daily basis). Both my mother and his parents know about it. I actually ...
30
votes
6answers
5k views

How to help my mother work through extreme anxieties?

My mom has had anxiety issues for as long as I can remember. It used to be sort of quirky and not disruptive of our lives, including (but not limited to): Touring each room of the house to make sure ...
30
votes
7answers
4k views

How do I encourage my family to talk more and watch tv less when I'm visiting?

My husband and I are visiting my family for Christmas. I moved out and have lived separately from them for 10 years or so. We're staying with my parents. The TV in their home is on all the time. We ...
28
votes
9answers
14k views

How to explain my complicated family background to people that I don't know very well?

In 2016 I moved 8,000 km from Canada to Ireland with my Irish husband and daughter. It's coming up to Christmas and some people have asked me (including some newly found cousins) some seemingly ...
28
votes
6answers
20k views

How should I respond to someone cleaning my house without me asking?

So I asked a family member to nip to my house to get something while I was at work and when I got home they had thoroughly cleaned most of my house except for the bedrooms. I don't mean they quickly ...
27
votes
9answers
12k views

How can I get my sister to stop asking me to help her smoke?

My sister is in the hospital. She’s a smoker and has run out of cigarettes and is asking me to bring her more. She is not hospitalized because of her smoking. I strongly disagree with smoking and ...
26
votes
4answers
30k views

How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan?

TL;DR When my mom bakes a cake for us (whoever is at home but it's usually me, my little sister, my father and her), she uses eggs (which are not vegan), even if I will be there. How can I tell her ...
26
votes
4answers
9k views

How to get my parents to take my Mother's cancer diagnosis seriously?

I'm a 35y/o male in Canada. My parents are in their mid-late 60s and live in the UK. I have two older brothers also in the UK. My mother has been diagnosed with cancer, though the full diagnosis is ...
24
votes
6answers
8k views

How to respond to questions at family holiday gatherings without making the asker uncomfortable about my sexuality?

Tis the season for social obligation... Unfortunately for some this leads to some awkward and uncomfortable situations. How do you navigate family holiday parties when many family members are ...
24
votes
3answers
9k views

Sick grandparent(s) moved in and are now inciting anger and stress

We're a family of three, my mom, my dad and I. My dad's father has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and, based on what we know so far, there's no chance for a recovery and not much life is ...
23
votes
6answers
9k views

How to tell my family that I don't want to visit for 2 weeks without hurting their feelings?

I've been living in the U.S. for 10 years but my family is in another country. I haven't visited them in a couple of years and I'm planning a visit next spring. I usually only go there for a week due ...
23
votes
4answers
2k views

Etiquette at communion for someone who is not religious

I'm an agnostic young adult living in America A few years ago my family and I were at a Lutheran church because my cousin was becoming a pastor. Throughout the whole ceremony I did what I saw others ...
22
votes
6answers
10k views

How do I or my husband tell my mother in law she smells?

She is fully able bodied and not short of money. She has a hoarding problem, and her house just smells musty. She needs to do more washing basically. The other day, she babysat for us. When we ...
22
votes
8answers
222k views

Girlfriend gets extremely angry over small issues, how can I help her?

When I went to live with my girlfriend a few years ago I was initially surprised by how she got very angry (using a very aggressive tone, shouting, ecc..) when I did "something wrong". By angry, I ...
22
votes
5answers
5k views

How can I help someone over the loss of their dog?

I have a sad situation with my girlfriend; however, I think a bit of context is needed to know for better understanding. We have been together for 3 months now and I am actually her first real ...
22
votes
7answers
9k views

How can I convince my 'cousin sister' that the man she loves is of 'bad character?'

I did use the India tag as a matter of course, but as always welcome answers from members all over the world. Why? Because some of the most helpful answers to my previous India-tagged questions came ...
21
votes
5answers
6k views

How to align personal interests with family?

I'm transitioning to the father role which is not going great. I'm facing the fact that I have less time now to follow my personal interests like watching soccer games on weekends. My wife is ...
21
votes
4answers
2k views

How do I ask my family to stop buying me Star Wars themed presents?

When I was a child I was really into Star Wars, as many children are. Now as a grown man, with my own interests and hobbies, a fully developed brain, and two decades of bad Star Wars movies I have ...
21
votes
1answer
2k views

How to avoid having to kiss my mother on the cheek without offending her

On a regular basis my Mother is absolutely insistent that I give her a kiss on the cheek whenever I go out to a certain location, or just at certain times. Now I have no issues with hugging her, ...
21
votes
1answer
2k views

How to help my child come out as a trans woman to extended family?

My daughter was brave enough to come out to us that she is a woman. That story is on Parenting SE. My daughter would like to come out to the extended family well before the holidays so that people ...
20
votes
5answers
4k views

How to convey who will be asked to join my wife and me in the delivery room without causing offense?

My wife and I have just started trying to expand our family. Last night, the topic randomly came up of who should be in the delivery room with us (if we are lucky enough to conceive) as my wife asked ...
20
votes
7answers
3k views

Managing a bad temper in close relationships

I've always had a short fuse. I've been quick to rise and lose my temper, but on the flip side I'm quick to get over it when others lose their cool. The problem is that others usually are not, ...
20
votes
5answers
2k views

How can I react in a constructive way when I've caused hurt or offence? [closed]

I am not a well organised or responsible adult, and I'm often self-absorbed and careless. Not to the point where I have trouble holding down a job or making friends or suchlike, but enough to ensure ...
20
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I explain to family members that I don't like to be greeted with a kiss?

I have an Asian background, and I live in Australia. My husband is European, and at family gatherings, his family members tend to greet me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which makes me ...
20
votes
3answers
12k views

How to tell someone that they are eating with their mouth open?

I'm from France and I've been educated with "eating manners" I consider "normal" (chew with your mouth closed, don't put your elbows on the table, wait until everyone is served before starting to eat.....
19
votes
4answers
10k views

How do I tell my sisters not to befriend a toxic friend?

I am the eldest son in my family. I have younger sisters in their early 20s. The problem is they are really attached to their friends that I consider toxic, a bad influence on my sisters. Some of ...
19
votes
7answers
4k views

How to respond to someone when they ask “How come you're still single?” [closed]

I've been asked this question several times this year, mainly from family members but also from long-term friends. I don't feel uncomfortable being asked but I also don't feel comfortable with where ...
19
votes
3answers
9k views

My brother messes up his life (and those of other family members) by doing nothing. How to have a talk with him about this?

TL;DR: My 30 years-old brother messes up his life, and those of other family members, by doing nothing. I need my brother to open up and explain his point of view, so that I can understand him. How do ...
19
votes
4answers
2k views

How can I explain my reduced social activity when depression is stigmatised?

I lost my job a few months ago, and was struggling to find a new one with no success. This led me to becoming less motivated each day, until the point that suicide slipped into my mind - which I ...
18
votes
6answers
31k views

My boyfriend has issues with his parents, how do I support him without ending up in his parents bad books? [closed]

Some Background My boyfriend (bf) is 21, living at home. He is the youngest of three boys (his brothers are 29 and 23 respectively, neither of them are at home much). His parents are 54 (mom) and 65 (...
18
votes
3answers
8k views

How can I better handle 'bad-news' talks about family members I don't care about?

There are a few people in my life that I can't avoid because they're family, but that I do not care about at all. Yet, from time to time a parent or grandparent will start sharing things about these ...
18
votes
5answers
3k views

How should I deal with a close relative that “uses” my possessions?

Anybody who has a sibling when growing up knows what it means to get his/her possessions taken without giving any permission, especially if they are the same sex and around the same age. This is ...
18
votes
5answers
4k views

How can I talk to my friend about reciprocal sharing?

Context I currently live with my family, in a fairly sizeable house. My sister also lives at home, as does her boyfriend who has grown to be my closest friend. Both of our main hobbies is mechanical ...
18
votes
2answers
1k views

How to suggest alternative music for my children to sing at my grandmother's religious funeral?

My religious maternal grandmother passed away recently and my mother is involved in planning the services which will be held at a chapel and presided over by the religious minister. My mother just ...
18
votes
5answers
4k views

How can I help a close person that is toxic seek professional help?

The person I'm talking about is my own mother. She has depression and she's seeing a doctor. It is a little rough talking about your own kind like this, but as rough as it is, it's the truth. My ...
18
votes
4answers
3k views

I have a problem with family members sharing my personal drama on Facebook

I have a Facebook profile and use it to have fun and keep in touch with friends. I do my best to keep personal drama off of my Facebook page, be it mine or another person's drama, it doesn't belong on ...
18
votes
1answer
1k views

What is “holding space” and how do I do it?

I recently came across an article titled A Man's Guide To "Holding Space", which was linked in an answer to this question. I had never heard the term before, but recognised some of my own ...
18
votes
1answer
626 views

How to prevent family from treating you like a child?

I am 24 years old, financially independent for the last 5 years and I live on my own as well. I'm a straight A student, happily engaged. Yet all members of my family communicate to me like I'm a ...
17
votes
5answers
5k views

Difficult family conflict about inheritance

My mother died 2 years ago and left a house to me and my two younger brothers. She wasn't very good with money and got herself in financial difficulty about 10 years ago and had to be helped with a ...
17
votes
6answers
3k views

How do I tell my kids it's time to get off of the computer?

I want to be a nice dad, and not have to yell at them to get off their computers. I asked them 2 times already, and they reply "Not right now, dad". They are on it for about 8 hours a day, and that ...
17
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell my alcoholic aunt I fear for my cousins' lives because of her drunk-driving?

Content warning: Alcoholism, physical and psychological violence. My cousin just called me in tears. Again. She shared her fears with me about her parents drinking too much, even when they have to ...
16
votes
2answers
1k views

How to inform my family of my child's new gender identity?

As an extension to this question, my daughter was very relieved when I offered to talk to my family for her. My husband thought of having a brunch with our kids not in attendance. I thought of doing ...
16
votes
3answers
5k views

How to deal with someone that pigeonholes others?

A close relative was recently engaged to this very sweet and friendly woman (aged 24) who happens to have a rather bad trait. She's very quick to pigeonhole people. Meaning she places people in ...
16
votes
3answers
1k views

How can I stop my mom from targeting me to do the chores just because I’m a girl?

My mom is always trying to get me to do household chores like washing dishes, brooming, cooking, cleaning, etc. I hate that she is the designated person for doing chores in our household. I strongly ...
16
votes
3answers
8k views

How do I help my girlfriend defend herself against manipulative parents?

Some Background My girlfriend's family moved to the US about 2 years ago to escape their home country (which is going through political and economic turmoil) to start over. Her mom sells insurance, ...
16
votes
3answers
2k views

How to approach my brother about reading what's on my screen?

Okay, so a bit of background: I'm 15, and my brother is 19. I technically have my own laptop, but I still need to ask someone to put the password in for me (because parents). My brother knows the ...
15
votes
10answers
14k views

Refusing gifts from an estranged relative

Background: I am estranged from my sister. The last time I had a substantial conversation with her was ~4 months ago, and her response the last time I initiated contact, via text about ~3 months ago, ...
15
votes
4answers
9k views

How can I talk with my older cousin about his sexuality?

I came out for my family about 6 months ago. I was 23 at the time, and everyone was shocked. They have a very limited mind about those things: asking me if I'll be dressing like a girl, if I want to ...
15
votes
13answers
7k views

How to convey seriousness in conditions when giving money to brother

TL;DR: I want to give my brother some money with a few conditions on how it is spent but believe he is unlikely to realise that I seriously plan to enforce those conditions. How can I convey my ...

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