Questions tagged [france]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in France or French culture.

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3
votes
1answer
393 views

How many "bise" (kisses) should I give?

Context Let's assume we are in a COVID-free environment. In France, depending on where you are, we give different amounts of "bises" (kisses on the cheek) in greeting. For example, we give ...
10
votes
1answer
1k views

How to tell an employee that someone in their shop is not wearing a mask?

(Without looking condescending or like I'm telling them how to do their job) The other day, I was at a shop and someone was not wearing their mask (it was hanging on one of their ears, so they clearly ...
43
votes
9answers
8k views

Why is it socially not acceptable to point at someone with your finger?

I am on the autism spectrum and I tend to point at things, including people. The other day, I was talking with a coworker about some tasks I needed them to do and, while I was talking, I was also ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

What is the meaning of sticking out your tongue?

And why do children see it as a deadly insult? I live in France and I know that sticking out your tongue at someone is "not polite". But why? What is sticking out your tongue supposed to ...
5
votes
3answers
545 views

How can I refuse to kiss my mother while minimizing the hurt feelings?

Note: this has nothing to do with the current pandemic. I don't like physical contact, especially kisses and especially when I don't fully trust the person touching me. Also, my current relationship ...
63
votes
4answers
15k views

How can I tell my date that one of her close friends outed her to me as trans?

TLDR: The person I started dating is/might be trans, but never told me and I'm not supposed to know. How can I approach the matter with her? What is the best way to do it without causing her ...
2
votes
2answers
547 views

Etiquette about crossing a door when someone also wants to cross from the opposite side?

Let's take the following situation: I'm on the outside and want to go inside Someone is inside and want to go outside The door is open (one of us is holding it) There isn't enough room for both of ...
3
votes
1answer
1k views

How to say in a courteous but implicit way you are not interested to date?

I have a lady that I've dated once. Since that date, we did not have many interactions except some text messages as she is a MD and my mum has some health issues and we are discussing, from time to ...
7
votes
2answers
812 views

Asking to be made aware of a surprise because of anxiety issues

I'm on the autism spectrum and I have anxiety issues. Doing unknown things in an unknown place terrifies me. From time to time (~twice a year) my workplace would organize a "team-building" ...
7
votes
1answer
1k views

How to casually invite a particular colleague for an afterwork?

I work with three colleagues in a small open space. We're developers. We've been colleagues for almost a year and got to know each decently. I'm a shy, socially anxious person that doesn't have many ...
11
votes
1answer
736 views

How to help a stranger (woman) in an abusive relationship?

I'm in an online support group for people with anxiety, depression and these kinds of things and, in this group, people would often post things about the difficult situation they are in. Recently, a ...
9
votes
2answers
2k views

Having a conversation with a coworker about receiving mixed signals that are confusing me

CONTEXT: I live in France, am 23 and I have had a crush on a coworker (21) for about 6 months and told her so around 1 month and a half ago in no uncertain terms. We had been talking regularly, about ...
3
votes
4answers
700 views

Etiquette regarding money participation when a coworker leaves?

I live in France. One of my coworkers is leaving soon and some other coworkers decided to collect money for him (in order to buy this coworker a gift). I was wondering, is there any formal etiquette ...
3
votes
2answers
830 views

How to invite my colleagues to an at-home goodbye party when they usually organize them in a bar?

I'll leave for a new job in a month. When some of my colleagues left the team for another one (but still remained in the company, which means we hang out around coffee regularly, it's not like they ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

Avoiding conflict when showing my family my new name

I don't like my name, I never had. Recently, I found myself a new name that I really love and I have started using it online. Now, the thing is that I just received a (nice) mug with my "new name" on ...
6
votes
2answers
803 views

What is the etiquette for responding to someone thanking me for doing my job?

My manager has the habit of thanking me after every one-on-one meeting we have. Here is how those meetings goes: I present my work to my manager My manager gives me feedback and helps me improve ...
3
votes
1answer
1k views

Is it common courtesy to leave a gift behind someone's door?

My landlord always gives me a birthday gift. He is too kind I know, but he never delivers the gift by himself, instead he leaves it in the common kitchen. Sometimes he also gives us a piece of cake ...
9
votes
2answers
699 views

How to stop someone from helping you?

Today, I had some difficulties with an Excel function so, after a meeting, I asked two of my coworkers if they knew how to solve my issue (since I thought it was an easy problem and they have more ...
11
votes
4answers
1k views

Telling parents that it's okay if their child doesn't kiss me

I have cousins who both have children. Whenever we see each other, my cousins always told their children to "go kiss Ælis" but the children are sometimes reluctant to kiss me (which I can ...
2
votes
2answers
1k views

Telling my cousin that she might want to learn more about cultural appropriation

The other day, I was at my cousin’s home and her daughter was dressed up like "an Indian" (her word to designate a Native American "traditional" outfit). This made me uncomfortable ...
9
votes
4answers
2k views

What is the proper etiquette for sharing menu items at a restaurant?

When I dine at a nice restaurant (not fast food), I frequently "collaborate" with another in my party so that between the two of us we can order two different items from the menu and then we each the ...
8
votes
5answers
2k views

Saying thanks without making it sounds like "you are doing me a favor"?

I'm a 23 year old woman, working as a junior Q&A. Some time ago I asked the dev team (mostly men, all older than me) for something that I needed to do my job. They weren't really happy with my ...
0
votes
5answers
1k views

Tactfully telling my cousin that she might do too many of the chores in her household

My cousin is a wonderful person, she is a feminist, ecologist, etc.. activist, she cares a lot about people and I really love her (I see her and her family ~once a month for the weekend and I spend ...
12
votes
5answers
4k views

"But you don't look autistic" isn't a nice thing to say

"But you don't look autistic" (meaning: "you don't behave like an autistic person") is a sentence that a lot of neurotypical people (NT) say to people on the autistic spectrum (...
11
votes
5answers
1k views

How to offer helping my friend with planning my meal at his wedding without coming across as rude?

Context I'm at this stage of life where quite a good part of my friends are getting married. Yay! Next Summer I'll attend two different weddings. The thing is, I have dietary restrictions (I'm ...
3
votes
3answers
896 views

Etiquette about signing card when coworker leaves

Let's assume that you are working somewhere, a co-worker of yours leaves and someone takes the initiative to buy a "best wishes" card for people to sign. Is there a specific etiquette regarding who ...
8
votes
3answers
898 views

Explaining to my boss that I didn't attend a company social event due to tiredness issues

TL;DR: I didn't participate in the Christmas work meal, how to say that it was because I have tiredness issues without sounding like a bad recruit? I'm newly hired in a company and I'm still on ...
9
votes
7answers
2k views

How to not be "this annoying nitpicking Quality Engineer"?

I am a 23-year-old woman who was hired 2 weeks ago. As a Q&A engineer, I have to ask developers to change the way they are coding in order to improve the code's quality, maintainability, and ...
8
votes
2answers
564 views

public transport: how to know (non-verbally) if someone needs a seat?

I'm someone who gets easily physically tired. This means that, on public transportation, I will almost always look for a seat. Some days, there are no seats available but I'm so tired that I will ...
16
votes
2answers
1k views

What non-verbal communication can I use to ask if someone want physical comfort?

Sometimes, someone will talk to you about a very emotional and/or difficult topic. In this scenario, you are supposed to give comfort to the person with whom you are talking. As someone on the ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I end a phone-call with my aunt without sounding rude?

I'm terrible at phone calls. I don't know how to put an end to them if the other person doesn't take the initiative to put an end to them themselves. This is generally not a problem except with my ...
2
votes
4answers
250 views

What's the etiquette for greeting people in a formal letter?

I need to send a case to the French Ministry of Justice for personal issues, so this is pretty much an official and important mail. I don't know who will read this mail so I can't begin the letter ...
3
votes
1answer
360 views

How can I defuse a violent argument between two people?

TL;DR How can I calm the situation when my mother and sister are violently arguing without the situation backfiring at me? Background The other day, my mother and my little sister (17 years) were ...
5
votes
3answers
692 views

Going to live in someone else's house--how to ask for rules?

Background I have found a new job in another city. While I'm looking for an apartment I will be living in my cousin's house. I have never lived in her house before (and I have been at her house for ...
8
votes
5answers
1k views

When should one do "la bise" in France?

As a French woman with ASD, I often find myself struggling to know if I should do "la bise" (cheek-kiss) in greeting. In general, I don't like to do "la bise" for various reasons--one of them being ...
31
votes
6answers
18k views

How to communicate to my aunt that she made an honest mistake when buying food for a family meal?

TL;DR My aunt bought some houmous thinking it was vegan when it wasn't. How do I tell her she made a mistake without upsetting her? Background The other day, I was at a family dinner. My aunt didn't ...
26
votes
4answers
30k views

How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan?

TL;DR When my mom bakes a cake for us (whoever is at home but it's usually me, my little sister, my father and her), she uses eggs (which are not vegan), even if I will be there. How can I tell her ...
2
votes
2answers
468 views

How to tell people that you will not go to their party without them taking it personally?

Background Being around people is tiring for me (the more people, the worse it is, especially if I don't know them well). It also often causes me anxiety. When I'm really too tired, I just want to ...
69
votes
12answers
22k views

How to try to get my neighbour to park their car in their assigned spot?

Situation I live in an allotment with a shared parking with assigned spots. One of my neighbours always parks their car in front of the door of my building instead of in their assigned spot. They ...
46
votes
16answers
15k views

How to explain to coworkers that being vegan does not mean I know everything about it?

The other day, I was in a company meal with ~20 coworkers and someone offered me wine before adding: "At least you know this is vegan." (because I'm vegan). I don't like alcohol so I ...
33
votes
7answers
7k views

How can I make my parents (and parents-in-law) accept that I don't want to have children? [duplicate]

First I would like to give a bit of context: My companion and I are 25 years old; we will probably get married in a few years I luckily have a comfortable situation, and have been working for 2 years ...
70
votes
6answers
30k views

How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people

Context I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., ...
62
votes
10answers
20k views

How to ask my local baker if he is always selling freshly baked bread

Ok, so it may looks like I'm making too much of a big deal of this situation, but, as a typical French guy, I'm taking this issue rather seriously. The bakery I'm used to buying my bread from was ...
2
votes
1answer
595 views

How should I approach a situation were I said something wrong and somebody else reported it? [closed]

I'll clarify my question right away: I'm 20, from France. While drunk at a party organized at a friend's house, I was with 4 friends in a room when somebody joked about a girl I brought: "Hey, ...
-3
votes
2answers
726 views

How do I ask my friends to be more self-sufficient? [closed]

I sometimes answer rather bluntly/harshly to close friends (this includes my SO as well) over a question during our gaming session because it's either something I already answered or something that ...
26
votes
3answers
6k views

Help my mother to understand my choice when it comes to having children [duplicate]

While my mother is usually extremely understanding of my choices in life, there is one choice on which she cannot agree, and it is my decision not to have children. Each time the subject comes to the ...
80
votes
7answers
26k views

How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything?

Context Last summer, I had a temporary job which lasted 3 months (not more, not less) as a research engineer. It was decided that if my work gave promising results, my superior would write an ...
63
votes
20answers
40k views

I have a crush on a coworker but won't act on it, how can I tell my boyfriend about it and that I'll remain faithful?

TL;DR: I find one of my coworkers attractive but I know it'll pass over time. I don't want to engage in anything with this coworker, I'm just waiting for the end of the crush. I think I should tell my ...
24
votes
5answers
11k views

Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors

I'm currently in my late twenties, I have an illness that requires me to go to see various doctors and paramedical practitioners. Over the last 12 months, I went to 7 different doctors/practitioners, ...
1
vote
1answer
1k views

How to Invite shy acquaintance to a talk without her friend?

Around 2 weeks ago, I began talking regularly to somebody at school (let's call her Judith) who I only knew on a "face-level". She is a friend of one of my friends , who I'll call Emily. While I have ...