Questions tagged [france]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in France or French culture.

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80
votes
7answers
26k views

How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything?

Context Last summer, I had a temporary job which lasted 3 months (not more, not less) as a research engineer. It was decided that if my work gave promising results, my superior would write an ...
78
votes
9answers
22k views

How to handle very opinionated and aggressive friend?

A bit of background first I've been hanging with the same circle of friends for roughly 10 years now, we're quite a diverse bunch in terms of opinions, and it often sparks debates. Usually, everything ...
70
votes
6answers
30k views

How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people

Context I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., ...
69
votes
12answers
22k views

How to try to get my neighbour to park their car in their assigned spot?

Situation I live in an allotment with a shared parking with assigned spots. One of my neighbours always parks their car in front of the door of my building instead of in their assigned spot. They ...
63
votes
20answers
40k views

I have a crush on a coworker but won't act on it, how can I tell my boyfriend about it and that I'll remain faithful?

TL;DR: I find one of my coworkers attractive but I know it'll pass over time. I don't want to engage in anything with this coworker, I'm just waiting for the end of the crush. I think I should tell my ...
63
votes
4answers
15k views

How can I tell my date that one of her close friends outed her to me as trans?

TLDR: The person I started dating is/might be trans, but never told me and I'm not supposed to know. How can I approach the matter with her? What is the best way to do it without causing her ...
62
votes
10answers
20k views

How to ask my local baker if he is always selling freshly baked bread

Ok, so it may looks like I'm making too much of a big deal of this situation, but, as a typical French guy, I'm taking this issue rather seriously. The bakery I'm used to buying my bread from was ...
54
votes
12answers
15k views

Convince somebody to stop flirting with me

Brief Summary So, I've been in a bit of a situation recently: one of my co-workers (female, I'm male btw) started flirting with me. It started with her throwing things like "hey, beautiful", and I ...
50
votes
9answers
65k views

How to deal with someone secretly taking pictures of you

As the title says: How should you react if you notice someone taking pictures of you without your consent? Background: It happened to me yesterday on the bus that a woman, of about my age, sat ...
46
votes
16answers
15k views

How to explain to coworkers that being vegan does not mean I know everything about it?

The other day, I was in a company meal with ~20 coworkers and someone offered me wine before adding: "At least you know this is vegan." (because I'm vegan). I don't like alcohol so I ...
43
votes
9answers
9k views

Why is it socially not acceptable to point at someone with your finger?

I am on the autism spectrum and I tend to point at things, including people. The other day, I was talking with a coworker about some tasks I needed them to do and, while I was talking, I was also ...
42
votes
13answers
22k views

How to turn down 'stay in touch' proposal from manipulative ex-coworker when leaving job/moving?

I recently quit my job, after a three months notice, and I've changed my region of residence (it's like moving to another state in the USA, but the regions are smaller). The last day, when everyone ...
33
votes
7answers
7k views

How can I make my parents (and parents-in-law) accept that I don't want to have children? [duplicate]

First I would like to give a bit of context: My companion and I are 25 years old; we will probably get married in a few years I luckily have a comfortable situation, and have been working for 2 years ...
31
votes
6answers
18k views

How to communicate to my aunt that she made an honest mistake when buying food for a family meal?

TL;DR My aunt bought some houmous thinking it was vegan when it wasn't. How do I tell her she made a mistake without upsetting her? Background The other day, I was at a family dinner. My aunt didn't ...
27
votes
5answers
7k views

How to introduce myself and my family to a new neighborhood?

In a few weeks, my family and I will be moving into our new house. I would like to have good relationships with my new neighbor, but I can't figure what is commonly accepted today for such ...
26
votes
4answers
30k views

How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan?

TL;DR When my mom bakes a cake for us (whoever is at home but it's usually me, my little sister, my father and her), she uses eggs (which are not vegan), even if I will be there. How can I tell her ...
26
votes
3answers
6k views

Help my mother to understand my choice when it comes to having children [duplicate]

While my mother is usually extremely understanding of my choices in life, there is one choice on which she cannot agree, and it is my decision not to have children. Each time the subject comes to the ...
25
votes
3answers
6k views

How to respond when a friend mentions their financial issues?

I'm usually uncomfortable when a friend mentions her lack of money during a casual conversation. The topic of money itself doesn't make me uncomfortable, but the fact that I really don't know what to ...
24
votes
5answers
11k views

Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors

I'm currently in my late twenties, I have an illness that requires me to go to see various doctors and paramedical practitioners. Over the last 12 months, I went to 7 different doctors/practitioners, ...
20
votes
3answers
13k views

How to tell someone that they are eating with their mouth open?

I'm from France and I've been educated with "eating manners" I consider "normal" (chew with your mouth closed, don't put your elbows on the table, wait until everyone is served before starting to eat.....
16
votes
3answers
7k views

Dismissing questions about shameful disease at work

Soooo.... This week I'm quite sick, but not the kind of sickness that could prevent me from working, at least if it doesn't worsen at some point. It is not contagious at all, by the way. So I can ...
16
votes
2answers
1k views

What non-verbal communication can I use to ask if someone want physical comfort?

Sometimes, someone will talk to you about a very emotional and/or difficult topic. In this scenario, you are supposed to give comfort to the person with whom you are talking. As someone on the ...
16
votes
3answers
5k views

How to disassociate with an obnoxious, arrogant, selfish friend

I'm from England. When I first moved to a foreign, non-English-speaking, country (France), it was difficult for me to make friends, I had to deal with the language barrier and culture shock. Luckily, ...
13
votes
6answers
3k views

How to handle a younger sibling being verbally bullied, with sometimes racist remarks, at school?

My younger sister tells me she's having trouble at her new middle school; one of these is that a boy, who tends to be the class clown and troublemaker, makes fun of her underbite. I told her to notify ...
12
votes
5answers
4k views

"But you don't look autistic" isn't a nice thing to say

"But you don't look autistic" (meaning: "you don't behave like an autistic person") is a sentence that a lot of neurotypical people (NT) say to people on the autistic spectrum (...
11
votes
4answers
1k views

Telling parents that it's okay if their child doesn't kiss me

I have cousins who both have children. Whenever we see each other, my cousins always told their children to "go kiss Ælis" but the children are sometimes reluctant to kiss me (which I can ...
11
votes
5answers
1k views

How to offer helping my friend with planning my meal at his wedding without coming across as rude?

Context I'm at this stage of life where quite a good part of my friends are getting married. Yay! Next Summer I'll attend two different weddings. The thing is, I have dietary restrictions (I'm ...
11
votes
1answer
748 views

How to help a stranger (woman) in an abusive relationship?

I'm in an online support group for people with anxiety, depression and these kinds of things and, in this group, people would often post things about the difficult situation they are in. Recently, a ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

Avoiding conflict when showing my family my new name

I don't like my name, I never had. Recently, I found myself a new name that I really love and I have started using it online. Now, the thing is that I just received a (nice) mug with my "new name" on ...
10
votes
1answer
1k views

How to tell an employee that someone in their shop is not wearing a mask?

(Without looking condescending or like I'm telling them how to do their job) The other day, I was at a shop and someone was not wearing their mask (it was hanging on one of their ears, so they clearly ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

What is the meaning of sticking out your tongue?

And why do children see it as a deadly insult? I live in France and I know that sticking out your tongue at someone is "not polite". But why? What is sticking out your tongue supposed to ...
9
votes
7answers
2k views

How to not be "this annoying nitpicking Quality Engineer"?

I am a 23-year-old woman who was hired 2 weeks ago. As a Q&A engineer, I have to ask developers to change the way they are coding in order to improve the code's quality, maintainability, and ...
9
votes
4answers
2k views

What is the proper etiquette for sharing menu items at a restaurant?

When I dine at a nice restaurant (not fast food), I frequently "collaborate" with another in my party so that between the two of us we can order two different items from the menu and then we each the ...
9
votes
2answers
2k views

Having a conversation with a coworker about receiving mixed signals that are confusing me

CONTEXT: I live in France, am 23 and I have had a crush on a coworker (21) for about 6 months and told her so around 1 month and a half ago in no uncertain terms. We had been talking regularly, about ...
9
votes
2answers
702 views

How to stop someone from helping you?

Today, I had some difficulties with an Excel function so, after a meeting, I asked two of my coworkers if they knew how to solve my issue (since I thought it was an easy problem and they have more ...
8
votes
5answers
3k views

Saying thanks without making it sounds like "you are doing me a favor"?

I'm a 23 year old woman, working as a junior Q&A. Some time ago I asked the dev team (mostly men, all older than me) for something that I needed to do my job. They weren't really happy with my ...
8
votes
3answers
902 views

Explaining to my boss that I didn't attend a company social event due to tiredness issues

TL;DR: I didn't participate in the Christmas work meal, how to say that it was because I have tiredness issues without sounding like a bad recruit? I'm newly hired in a company and I'm still on ...
8
votes
5answers
1k views

When should one do "la bise" in France?

As a French woman with ASD, I often find myself struggling to know if I should do "la bise" (cheek-kiss) in greeting. In general, I don't like to do "la bise" for various reasons--one of them being ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I end a phone-call with my aunt without sounding rude?

I'm terrible at phone calls. I don't know how to put an end to them if the other person doesn't take the initiative to put an end to them themselves. This is generally not a problem except with my ...
8
votes
1answer
4k views

How to get my father back and open his eyes over his girlfriend? [closed]

Background My dad has had a girlfriend for 8 years now. She's 37, my father 45, I'm 25. We are French. I was 17 when they started dating. Naturally, I was very happy for him. After 6 months, she ...
8
votes
2answers
574 views

public transport: how to know (non-verbally) if someone needs a seat?

I'm someone who gets easily physically tired. This means that, on public transportation, I will almost always look for a seat. Some days, there are no seats available but I'm so tired that I will ...
7
votes
2answers
816 views

Asking to be made aware of a surprise because of anxiety issues

I'm on the autism spectrum and I have anxiety issues. Doing unknown things in an unknown place terrifies me. From time to time (~twice a year) my workplace would organize a "team-building" ...
7
votes
1answer
1k views

How to casually invite a particular colleague for an afterwork?

I work with three colleagues in a small open space. We're developers. We've been colleagues for almost a year and got to know each decently. I'm a shy, socially anxious person that doesn't have many ...
7
votes
1answer
735 views

How to handle friends who never invite? [closed]

I am coming from an oriental culture. It's a sign of appreciation to invite friends for beers, coffees etc. Currently, I am living in France. I have lots of friends from here. I still enjoy inviting ...
6
votes
2answers
806 views

What is the etiquette for responding to someone thanking me for doing my job?

My manager has the habit of thanking me after every one-on-one meeting we have. Here is how those meetings goes: I present my work to my manager My manager gives me feedback and helps me improve ...
5
votes
3answers
702 views

Going to live in someone else's house--how to ask for rules?

Background I have found a new job in another city. While I'm looking for an apartment I will be living in my cousin's house. I have never lived in her house before (and I have been at her house for ...
5
votes
3answers
549 views

How can I refuse to kiss my mother while minimizing the hurt feelings?

Note: this has nothing to do with the current pandemic. I don't like physical contact, especially kisses and especially when I don't fully trust the person touching me. Also, my current relationship ...
4
votes
3answers
5k views

How do I make people stop seeing me as a child? [duplicate]

English is not my mother tongue so please be indulgent. In my family, we are pretty close to each other. I mean, when I say "family", it includes aunts, uncles and cousins. With my big sister, we ...
3
votes
4answers
1k views

Enforcing to be treated respectfully [duplicate]

My issue What's the best way to deal with a verbally aggressive/bully colleague? Context Objective background I have started a new job 2 months and two weeks ago as a software developer. It's my ...
3
votes
3answers
934 views

Etiquette about signing card when coworker leaves

Let's assume that you are working somewhere, a co-worker of yours leaves and someone takes the initiative to buy a "best wishes" card for people to sign. Is there a specific etiquette regarding who ...