Questions tagged [gender]

Questions that are aimed at interactions between genders and/or to a specific gender.

10
votes
2answers
675 views

How should I address a person who offers a choice of personal pronouns

I've recently seen a number of people who, when listing their personal pronouns, appear to be offering a choice. In particular, I have seen folks say "she" or "they" In situations where asking ...
20
votes
3answers
1k views

How to support a coworker with her insecurity, while not going against my own opinions?

I have a new-ish co-worker. Before I landed in this team we already had some contact, we enjoyed having lunches together and often chatted over a cup of coffee. We seem to be developing a friendship, ...
14
votes
2answers
958 views

How can I let my male friends know how much they mean to me?

I (male in my mid-20s) recently found a girlfriend and another really close female friend, which I highly value in my life. I found that I can openly share my feelings with both of them, and after ...
22
votes
5answers
2k views

Asking questions about sexism without sounding like I'm… 'part of the problem'?

Background I'm a cis white male, and I have never directly witnessed any kind of sexism in my academic world, even though I hear that it is a very real problem in this precise context. I've heard ...
-1
votes
1answer
177 views

Is it normal in a professional environment to inform a director of personal discomfort experienced on their site? [closed]

Should I tell the director of a lab in a business school how I was personally affected about their actions while participating in a study? I am a student and I met them in a professional setting as a ...
121
votes
14answers
39k views

How to tactfully check whether my new partner is a man or a woman?

I know this is a weird question, but I'm kinda annoyed. I met someone at my local gym. We started to talk from time to time and one thing leading to another we made out (not sexually) and are a ...
0
votes
1answer
424 views

On a date, if I give a woman flowers, what does she do with them? [closed]

On a date, I'd like to give a woman flowers as a little present. What's the best thing for her to do with them? I mean, if I imagine to be a woman getting flowers, I'd feel real bad throwing them away ...
-1
votes
1answer
460 views

How to ask about someone's gender? [duplicate]

We are beginning to live in a different world were gender is a more vague concept and self expression is everything. Sometimes I meet people that appear very gender neutral and I do not always hear ...
2
votes
1answer
416 views

Frequently rebuffed when trying to initiate or join a conversation [closed]

I moved to Germany about six months ago to take on a new job. Being new here, I've been trying to socialise and build up some new friendships. A recurring pattern when I attempt to join in a ...
1
vote
1answer
434 views

How to react to a conversation where a friend is indirectly revealed as trans/fluid [closed]

I was in a conversation with a friend who revealed they identified as "trans/fluid". It wasn't said as a declaration, rather it was said in such a way as if I already knew about it. I hid my surprise ...
1
vote
1answer
461 views

Does over smiling falls under girlish in India? [closed]

While staying with a group of friends, colleagues or with a single individual, is it okay to have smiling face always during normal conversations or while wishing others such as good morning etc., ...
9
votes
4answers
2k views

Discussing misuse of my partner's pronouns with their best friend?

For nearly half a year now my partner, "Jane", has taken to using non-binary gender pronouns (they/them) and has asked those around them to respect this decision. The problem is that their closest ...
30
votes
11answers
17k views

How can I effectively tell people that their defensiveness over me bringing up an issue is part of the issue?

Seems like it would be kind of self evident, but it's something that I encounter fairly often when talking to some folks about issues of discrimination and bias that drives me crazy... When someone ...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

How could I convince women that I'm not trying to flirt with them but that I just want them to join a friendship group?

I like forming friendship groups with people from the internet, in friendship web pages or similar, and I like them to be mixed with a similar percentage of women and men. But there's a problem with ...
59
votes
6answers
16k views

How do I tell a woman that her pants have a menstruation stain?

I was working in my work space today and a female coworker came to give me some information that I needed, then left. I'm male. Suddenly, when she was on her way back to her work space, I saw a ...
32
votes
2answers
13k views

How can I politely find out the gender of a potential roommate via email?

I was looking for a shared room on Craigslist and I found one I'm interested in. On the post, the writer didn't specify if he/she is male or female. I'm female, and personally I would only feel ...
38
votes
6answers
11k views

How do I communicate gracefully to coworkers that they are accidentally misgendering me?

I am a transwoman about 7 months in my real life phase and not a week goes by that I am not accidentally misgendered by my some of my coworkers. That is, they use the wrong pronouns to refer to me or, ...
86
votes
10answers
44k views

How can I avoid the awkwardness of a returning player who wears a low-cut shirt?

Sometimes I run RPG events for strangers, advertising on meetup.com to get people. At these events, I spend around three hours asking the players what the characters are doing and narrating the ...
2
votes
1answer
605 views

How to ask something personal to someone you have not seen for a while? [closed]

As a follower to my previous question, I want to ask a girl I was friends with if she indeed wanted to go out with me. To sum up, there was a rumor stating that she wanted to go out with me, and I ...
42
votes
8answers
16k views

How avoid a question about women being loyal housewives?

I was in a country in Eastern Europe. I went to a practice-public-speaking event, as a visitor (to see if I wanted to join the group). After the event, all of us went to a small restaurant close to ...
45
votes
14answers
12k views

How can I address a man talking inappropriately about women? [duplicate]

Source is this twitter thread: https://twitter.com/MalwareJake/status/976848126987374593 Excerpt: She said that the guy who appeared to be the unofficial group leader started talking about one of ...
15
votes
5answers
2k views

Comforting a gender-fluid partner experiencing dysphoria

My partner is gender-fluid and occasionally experiences dysphoria. Most often it seems to be caused by societal pressure to conform to their assigned gender, but occasionally they seem to have some ...
92
votes
9answers
31k views

As a woman, how to avoid angry stares from other people's wives or girlfriends [closed]

I am a moderately good looking woman. With basic makeup and hair styling, I can make myself look pretty. This is my preferred look when I go out. I often get a lot of stares, sometimes admiring and ...
21
votes
9answers
5k views

Offering to ride along with women when it's dark

When growing up my brother and I where taught that, when it's night, you should offer girls/women to ride along when you are on bike or on foot to prevent unsafe situations. This wasn't saying that ...
-5
votes
2answers
988 views

How to remain gender ambiguous online? [closed]

This question is inspired by How to politely notify in an online conversation that I am a woman?. In my non-internet life, I identify nonambiguously as female. However, on the internet, it's ...
1
vote
1answer
542 views

How to not feel weird when buying girl clothes as a teen boy [duplicate]

I'm a young high school student that really like dressing up as a girl in my house when my parents aren't here I usually use my mom’s clothes but I wanna get my own too. I really don't know how to go ...
112
votes
11answers
25k views

How to politely notify in an online conversation that I am a woman?

Context I am a woman and I sometimes post things online, on Stack Exchange for instance. Usually, my posts are very neutral and do not provide any hint of my gender. It seems that most people assume ...
7
votes
2answers
1k views

How to ask/find out if people are interested in LGBT dating/relationships?

It's a fact that the majority of people are heterosexual. So if I meet a person, I first assume that he/she is heterosexual. How can I ask a person of the same gender out, if I don't know if the ...
12
votes
7answers
5k views

How do I constructively address my co-worker's accusation that I don't see her as a “real person?”

Although I have added the India tag for cultural context, I consider this to be a question on a universal theme, and therefore welcome responses from members all over the world. Since mid-September I ...
55
votes
4answers
10k views

What pronoun to use when talking about a transgender person's past?

I have an old friend who recently came out as transgender. We have a very healthy relationship in general, but I often find myself wondering if I should mention his past (before he came out) and, if I ...
128
votes
11answers
29k views

How to deflect awkward questions when shopping for women's clothing as a man?

This is going to be a bit of weird question, but I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I'm an Indian guy who's recently immigrated to Britain for college. I'm also very, how to put this, ...
33
votes
12answers
16k views

How do I respond to catching someone in an embarrassing situation?

There are no religious or other prejudices against / bans on onanism, so this is not an issue. It's just about the awkwardness of the situation. This happened some time ago and I still wonder what I ...
13
votes
6answers
5k views

How do I let someone I'm romantically interested in know I think we wouldn't work out because I am not straight?

Background: I was born female and I am hetero-romantic, but I'm starting to think that I might be both asexual and agender. I have always been uncomfortable with the idea that I am "supposed" to look, ...
5
votes
3answers
2k views

If and how to point out wardrobe malfunction in someone of the opposite sex

Last night I was playing poker at the casino. A combination of where I was sitting, bright lighting overhead, and a poorly fitting blouse gave me a pretty full view of the inside of a dealer's shirt. ...
3
votes
4answers
5k views

How to ask a female colleague to spend time with me?

Background I met this colleague (let's call her Alice) at my new job that I started recently. We work in different teams, so I don't get to meet Alice every day, although I do see her in the corridor ...
28
votes
6answers
7k views

Is it appropriate to tell someone of the opposite gender “your fly is down”?

I just spent 15 minutes talking in the hallway at work with a male coworker (I'm female) about the recent arrival of their second child. I spent the last five minutes of that chat trying to decide if ...
61
votes
18answers
13k views

In an online conversation, is it okay to use “guys” to address everyone? [closed]

In an online group chat, sometimes I say "See ya later, guys!". Of course, not all of them are "guys". Some are "gals". But for efficiency (read: lazy), I usually just say "guys". I wonder if this is ...
78
votes
17answers
33k views

How do I react when a girl I like has a new haircut that I don't like very much? [closed]

I've had a past teenage experience (~10 years ago) where a girl I liked (only friends) asked me about whether I liked her fake nails. I answered honestly and say I didn't like them at all and prefer ...
21
votes
7answers
6k views

How can I ask politely about someone's preferred gender pronouns?

There's a lot of discussion going on about gender identity and gender politics, and I find myself easily confused by the multitude of options for gender pronouns. To solve this, it'd be easier just to ...
40
votes
7answers
47k views

What are appropriate gender-agnostic alternatives to sir/ma'am?

In a situation where I need to quickly address someone I don't know, how can I do so without using gendered language? For example, as a retail worker, if a customer was to leave their credit card ...
21
votes
5answers
3k views

When should I offer my seat on public transport?

In the United Kingdom, when is it appropriate to offer your seat to someone on a train or bus? Okay, if someone is in distress by standing through disability or otherwise it seems clear enough. ...