Questions tagged [germany]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in Germany or German culture.

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12
votes
4answers
2k views

How to tell my mother not to visit?

I left my mother's home to live on my own 8,5 years ago. Since then, no one in my family has visited me once. Some years ago, my mother even dismissed my idea to visit me when I suggested to do so, I ...
76
votes
8answers
16k views

My grandmother doesn't talk or communicate any more. How can I be good company to her?

My grandmother is over 90 years old, and lives in a retirement home. She can't do anything alone anymore, almost not even move, and basically she is in bed all day, almost only sleeping. There are ...
3
votes
1answer
1k views

How to ask to join friends to vacation?

I recently overheard two of my friends, that they are planning to go on vacation next year together with another two or three friends of us. Well, overheard may be the wrong word in this context, they ...
16
votes
4answers
2k views

SARS-CoV2: When conflict arises over wearing masks, what should I say? [closed]

In Germany, due to the Corona pandemic, the government requires everyone to wear a mask over their mouth and nose in public when within enclosed spaces like supermarkets or public transportation. ...
8
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I start a casual relationship while backpacking?

I'm a 24 year old Canadian man on an extended holiday abroad. Most people I meet are from the United Kingdom, Germany, and Ireland. The country where I am is irrelevant because I rarely meet people ...
9
votes
1answer
793 views

How to gently ask my neighbor not to use my bins for their waste?

In the past months, there were several occasions when I found foreign waste in my personal bins. I cannot say, that was my neighbor for sure as I never saw anyone. But the waste type and content made ...
7
votes
5answers
941 views

Do I need to keep on asking my coworker if I can lower the window blinds (in a German company)

I am doing my internship at a German company (while being a student from the Netherlands) and my German skills are limited. On sunny days, I get blinded by the sun and want to lower the window blinds. ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

How do I help break the ice between Alice and Bob after past drama?

Let's call my friend Bob and the story girl Alice. Background I was in class with Bob and Alice. Some day Bob posted a picture of a gun (not his; from the Darknet, because he was drunk) in our class ...
51
votes
4answers
24k views

How do I get my boyfriend to remove pictures of his ex girlfriend hanging in his apartment?

Background Information: We have been together for 2.5 years. We do not live together, but visit each others apartments around 5 times a week. He is in his early 30s and I am in my mid 20s. We live in ...
43
votes
8answers
17k views

A server in a restaurant got offended when we addressed him as “Uncle”

I am from India and my experience is that addressing a serviceman in a restaurant as "waiter" is not taken positively. So depending on their age, we usually call them "brother" or "uncle". A few years ...
16
votes
4answers
2k views

What small talk questions can I ask when I'm mostly interested in the motivations of people? [closed]

I'm not very good at small talk, even though I have improved quite a bit. My mother once said it's because I'm not interested in most of the topics that small talk brings up. But then I guess many ...
141
votes
11answers
73k views

How to tell girlfriend I don't want to meet without hurting her feelings?

My girlfriend and I have "fixed" days we see each other, because we normally don't have time on other days. Sometimes, it happens that her training gets cancelled and she has time that evening and ...
11
votes
6answers
3k views

How to convince father to accept decision without holding a grudge later on?

So I got this situation going on: My sister is going to get married and doesn't want my father to escort her to the altar. She wants me to do it. My father has been told that he shall not escort her, ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I convince my girlfriend that relationship and her doctorate is possible?

Background I have been dating a Japanese woman in Japan for two months now. Until now we've regularly met each other on weekends and were talking during the week, mostly with instant messaging. I ...
7
votes
2answers
983 views

How to reject a friend who comes only when he needs help without being rude

Currently, I am living in Germany, and I have an old friend (he was my neighbor also in country of origin) who moved here a few months ago, and by luck, he is living now not far from my home. ...
4
votes
2answers
891 views

How do I inform my boss that he offended me?

I am a man in forties. I work as a scientist in Germany, but I am not local. My boss at the university uses words "stupid" and "idiot" in relation to me in front of other people or in a direct ...
6
votes
0answers
279 views

How to stop family members from giving me pictures of their children? [duplicate]

I want to know how to politely ask family members to not give me pictures of their children. Every year I try to find suitable presents for my family members only to receive the exact same present ...
187
votes
18answers
60k views

How to ask cashier out for date

I am 21 years old and living in a large city in Germany where smalltalk in local markets is not a common thing. A new cashier joined my local food shop. She’s always at the checkout and never doing ...
10
votes
1answer
984 views

How to approach a person that does not respond to me after I was potentially rude to them?

I am an 18-year-old German, I live in a small (~100 citizens) town neighboring a somewhat bigger (~2000 citizens) town. We have our own small local fire-station but we do not do regular training. To ...
14
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I let my male friends know how much they mean to me?

I (male in my mid-20s) recently found a girlfriend and another really close female friend, which I highly value in my life. I found that I can openly share my feelings with both of them, and after ...
59
votes
15answers
33k views

How to stop people from touching me without having to freak out at them

I have a problem that I haven't been able to find an amicable solution to so far. I really don't like being touched, to the point where if someone is touching me unexpectedly I get confusion rising to ...
6
votes
1answer
821 views

How to tell long distance girlfriend we both did wrong without her closing up again

I've been with my long-distance girlfriend for 8 months now, we are both in our mid-20s. Last weekend we had a disagreement in an online game session: Once she went online I asked her to play a ...
2
votes
5answers
627 views

How to properly criticize a poor (scientific) work?

My question: Are there ways to point out errors of somebody's scientific work without sounding harsh or as if I am discrediting that person? A lot can be found about criticizing well and proper ...
11
votes
4answers
905 views

How to designate, that I'd prefer having a conversation in english, when someone aproaches me in my native language?

Given an international (work-) environment, I have plenty of coworkers1 not speaking German. It happened already many times to me, that I was having a English conversation with someone not speaking ...
12
votes
2answers
908 views

Asking people to meet outside of work/gym/etc

Lately I feel like all the people I meet only get and stay acquaintances to mine. I don't have a huge friend group and would enjoy forming new friendships, going out more with people, etc. If often ...
4
votes
2answers
985 views

Approach friends about getting un-invited last minute with terrible communication and rude behavior?

Last weekend, me and 4 friends (let's call them Alice, Bob, Cody and Danny) wanted to go to another friends place (which I don't know) to have some drinks. The friend, at which the gathering was, also ...
8
votes
2answers
711 views

Handshake Etiquette when wearing a Bandaid

How should one behave in situations that require a handshake but are wearing a bandaid on their hand or one of their fingers? Many people will find it unhygienic or at least unpleasant to touch a ...
15
votes
10answers
25k views

How to politely tell my roommates that I don't want to spend time with them?

Background Information: Basically, I don't have enough time. It's an annoying problem that I guess most people share, but it still bothers me. I have so many things I want to do (books to read, ...
13
votes
3answers
1k views

How to find out, if it is ok to hug (opposite sex)?

I am male and I regularly hug my good male and good female friends. At the very least when saying Hello and Goodbye. I have the feeling that is not uncommon here in Germany. Now, I have a a small ...
12
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell a colleague that touching my behind at the christmas party was not ok

During my company's Christmas party one colleague got extremely drunk. He then went to me, put his arm around me and his hand on my behind. I found this both annoying and highly inappropriate and ...
8
votes
1answer
894 views

How can I ask my flatmate why she's upset after I mentioned feeling like a third wheel?

A few days ago my flatmate [22, F] and me [26, M] went to a party. She was asking me which of two guys she should hook up with. It was more jokingly, at least I thought and she also told me it's just ...
4
votes
2answers
563 views

How to ask a host to fix something, they consider due to their lacking knowledge, not flawed?

I am living for 2 months now in a pension and will probably stay there for 3~4 more months. The host provides WLAN. Sadly the WLAN is blocking some websites and a vast amount of ports required for ...
15
votes
1answer
1k views

Non-disabled people parking on handicap spots

This morning, when I went to the local bakery, a woman (maybe around 25 years old) parking on the handicap spot right in front of the store. To me, she didn't look disabled at all. Granted, not every ...
174
votes
20answers
66k views

How to avoid being seen as a cash cow by my family?

Situation I'm German, in my mid-20s and currently living together with my girlfriend without kids. I earn a fairly good salary for my age compared to other family members and was always a saver (cheap ...
11
votes
3answers
1k views

How to prompt a stranger for a dance while out with my dancing companion?

Recently I started taking dancing lessons with my dancing partner. We enjoy it and also go out together in clubs or bars with a dance floor for practicing what we learned or just for fun. My partner ...
28
votes
7answers
8k views

How to accept an apology, without implying that there was no problem?

An older man barges into me. While I think he could have prevented that, I don't assume he had any bad intentions. He then apologizes and I want to accept the apology, but how? Just saying "It's OK" ...
98
votes
9answers
17k views

Refusing free goods as a blind person

As a severely visually impaired person, I use a white cane in the public and unfamiliar shops for identification purposes and as a mobility aid. I regularly encounter sellers at bakeries or fast food ...
25
votes
5answers
53k views

How to contact a girl whose number I got from somebody else?

Situation Some days ago I went to a concert of the band of a good friend, let's call him Alex. He and his bandmates, invited a lot of friends to support them. I know Alex pretty well since we've been ...
22
votes
5answers
5k views

How can I help someone over the loss of their dog?

I have a sad situation with my girlfriend; however, I think a bit of context is needed to know for better understanding. We have been together for 3 months now and I am actually her first real ...
23
votes
5answers
10k views

Etiquette when riding a taxi in Germany?

So I just recently rode a taxi again in Germany and I was wondering about the proper etiquette if there is one. I rode a total of like 3 taxi in my life and I never was sure on how to behave (I always ...
13
votes
3answers
4k views

When in queue at the supermarket, how do I get my personal space?

A quick cultural and personal background: this refers to Germany, and I am terrible at handling ANY kind of even mild conflict with people, especially people I don't know. When in queue in a ...
53
votes
11answers
19k views

How to say no to an extremely pushy friend

My friend, which is also my coworker, likes to organise events for his friends. He invites a lot of people, but always expects everyone to join him regardless of if they have already planned something ...
2
votes
1answer
444 views

How do I find the causes of the issues between me and my siblings?

My siblings and I have a rocky relationship and I want to find out what the causes for the issues are. The last times I've asked them about this I've got responses like "Everything is fine" or "There ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I tell someone I won't drive them anymore, when they have no car?

Background: To get a technical diploma I started to attend school last week again and will be there till may next year. I'm currently 22 yo and I'm generally a very agreeable person. The school is ...
3
votes
3answers
530 views

How to improve relationship with uninterested coworkers?

I'm not sure whether this is a question for the workplace or IPS board, but I think it's more of a inter-personal than work related issue. Please correct me if I'm wrong. About three months ago I ...
18
votes
5answers
2k views

How do I decline conversation in my native language?

I often meet people who do not natively speak my language (German) but are learning it and would love to practice it by speaking German to me. General Situation The problem is that I talk in a ...
40
votes
12answers
14k views

Colleague thinks that he is too slow

Background I am frequently working with a colleague who is a little bit junior to me (but not particularly "fresh" - he has been in the company for over 10 years in a lead developer/expert ...
11
votes
5answers
2k views

How to deal with a boss that privately texts an (uninterested) coworker

At the annual summer party of our company I have introduced a friend and colleague of mine to my supervisor. My colleague is from another department at another office and we have known each other some ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

Address friends overly “agressive” way to get attention back on him when around girls

I often go out on weekends with a few friends of mine, we're all around 18-21 years old from Germany. One of them (lets name him L.) really is a chill guy. Me and my friends aren't really that good ...
15
votes
6answers
14k views

How to convey (non-awkwardly) that its my birthday? [duplicate]

First off, I know that this question is very close to mine, but has no answer that would match my needs. Secondly, I find it shocking how many people answer for a workplace situation. This question ...