Questions tagged [helping]
For questions about asking for, offering, accepting, or declining help.
36
questions
3
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1
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How can I let a classmate know I can't help them on an assignment anymore?
I'm enrolled in a university course. For some time, I've been helping another student with a major project for our class, which counts for a quarter of our grade. It is an individual project where ...
- 1,763
7
votes
1
answer
689
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Confront supposed harassment/abuse on a bus stop
Scenario: You walk by a bus station and notice a, supposedly, couple that behaves suspicious.
The woman seems to be afraid of the man (stares to the ground, submissive posture, he holds her arm ...
- 173
6
votes
2
answers
644
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Getting family to understand the difference between helping and meddling
My personal definitions of these are:
Helping is when someone asks you to assist them, or asks for your opinion or expertise, and you give it to them, keeping their interests and goals in mind at all ...
- 370
5
votes
1
answer
542
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How to communicate the difference between advice and trying to "change someone"?
We all have different levels of stubbornness I suppose, and different levels of willingness to learn and adapt outside of our comfort zone. I am a big fan of learning and making improvements so I tend ...
- 309
1
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1
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271
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How to respectfully reject invitation to joint work from a colleague?
A colleague of mine is inviting me to meetings with them "to do joint work". The colleague is new, so the "joint work" is more a competence transfer.
I fully embrace the idea that ...
- 153
0
votes
2
answers
339
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Not able to get a telephone call from my GP
For some time we have always been able to ask for our GP to call us at home to discuss a problem. The last 3 times I requested a call everything was fine until I declined to give any personal ...
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3
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2
answers
1k
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How can I help a hoarder friend while I worry about the health of her cats I need to feed?
One of my best friends, "Anne", has mental health problems for a long time. She's very closed off, just like me, and never responded much to my offers of help. I still tried to help her any ...
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8
votes
3
answers
976
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Dealing with older people who insist on doing everything themselves, refusing help and hoarding skills/knowledge
This is something I've noticed with older people, mainly men - the desire to do e.g. household or other maintenance-type tasks themselves, without explaining how to do it, even preferring that I'm not ...
- 370
9
votes
1
answer
600
views
What to do about unhelpful help?
Sometimes when you ask for help, someone will offer a suggestion that not only doesn't actually help, but clearly would make things worse. Let's assume for this question the person genuinely wants to ...
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4
votes
1
answer
353
views
Turning down a request for help
I have a neighbor who volunteered to do a task to benefit the neighborhood.
The task is laborious, and I publicly thanked her for volunteering.
Now she tells me she can't do it because "she can't ...
55
votes
13
answers
21k
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How can I offer my prayers to an atheist colleague facing a serious personal situation?
A colleague of mine commented me the other day he is having a serious family issue. (An important sickness brought a relative very close to death.) As a Christian, I believe in the power of prayer. As ...
- 3,249
5
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2
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2k
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How can I email a former schoolmate who starred in porn if she needs my help, without being creepy or spooking her?
21 y.o. alumna from my nephew's high school starred in some porn last year. He overheard some ladies talking at supermarket, and didn't believe them – until he watched them online to verify himself. ...
user2423
6
votes
1
answer
1k
views
How do I politely refuse doing a favor for a friend?
I have a friend who doesn't speak English very well. She once asked me to help her with a small text that had just about two paragraphs and I helped her, correcting the mistakes that she made.
After ...
- 123
22
votes
1
answer
1k
views
Warning someone that they have been suckered into a scam
A friend of mine (let's call her Anne) was recently drawn into attending life-coaching sessions, through an organization which is a scam based on the Lifespring model (tl;dr they give you a ...
- 321
34
votes
2
answers
9k
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How to ask if I can mow my neighbor's lawn
My neighbor and I share a lawn. It isn't clear where the property line is without looking it up in an official resource since there are no physical barriers between us. His house is quite a bit nicer ...
- 1,115
9
votes
2
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724
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How to stop someone from helping you?
Today, I had some difficulties with an Excel function so, after a meeting, I asked two of my coworkers if they knew how to solve my issue (since I thought it was an easy problem and they have more ...
- 17.4k
8
votes
1
answer
434
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How do you maintain relations after you've received help from an acquaintance?
I'm not talking about workplaces. I'm talking about friends outside the workplace.
Maybe you have a friend and got introduced to his friend (X) sometime. Then after a couple of years you needed help ...
- 1,908
5
votes
3
answers
1k
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Friend attempts suicide, but is now acting perfectly fine. What can I do?
I am a college student. My friend (who I have known for almost 3 years now) attempted suicide 4 days ago by overdosing on sleeping pills, but not taking a sufficiently high dosage. I only learnt about ...
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19
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1
answer
2k
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What is "holding space" and how do I do it?
I recently came across an article titled A Man's Guide To "Holding Space", which was linked in an answer to this question. I had never heard the term before, but recognised some of my own ...
- 309
58
votes
7
answers
18k
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How to help a friend through a rough breakup when his actions are testing the limits of my patience?
One of my close friends, who is 25, has recently broken up with his girlfriend of 10-11 months. Naturally, he has turned to me and other people close to him for help and support.
My friend is, by ...
7
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2
answers
1k
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How do I make my criticism constructive?
Occasionally, I will find myself in a position where I believe I have some insight as to how someone could improve. I have been thinking about how to give good constructive criticism and although ...
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14
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3
answers
2k
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How to help a friend who has faced several personal, related problems in a short timespan
For what it's worth, this friend (I'll call him Jon) has Asperger's.
The problems
Lately, Jon's life has been a rollercoaster of emotions. It all started when his mom (I'll call her Jane), after ...
- 243
11
votes
4
answers
937
views
How can I tell a friend that their self-published book needs editing?
Background
An acquaintance of mine and his wife just self-published a very short book. Unfortunately, it has scores of grammatical mistakes on most pages. My friend and his wife have a great message ...
- 213
4
votes
4
answers
1k
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As a PhD student, how can I politely tell Masters students that I don't have time to help them
I am a Ph.D. student in my fifth year of the program. I have a lot of work to finish within a few months to wrap up my work and submit my thesis before the start of the sixth year; otherwise, I have ...
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48
votes
13
answers
87k
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How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work?
I am the smart guy at school and people always want my help. I don't want to be rude, but they pester me and I try to escape but I can't -- I end up spending a lot of time helping them to do a ...
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5
votes
5
answers
765
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How to deal with people who are aggressive when providing/denying help with problems?
I do programming and web development as a hobby, and I have experience building computers, and have fixed computers in the past, so naturally I'm going to seem like a good fit for solving most people'...
user13379
0
votes
2
answers
2k
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How to say no to people asking for charity without feeling bad about it? [closed]
Now don't get me wrong, I know the title of the question can feel a little awkward, but I am a person who chooses his "battles" very carefully, therefore helping those in need is something that I don'...
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4
votes
3
answers
369
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How best to offer practical assistance?
This question begins with a story from earlier today.
An elderly lady sat in the marketplace when I overheard her telling the security guard that her house didn't have heating or electricity. I ...
- 1,075
0
votes
2
answers
238
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How to Disengage From Complaining Co-Worker [closed]
I need advice on how to deal with this co-worker that complains VERY ferociously about issues, with almost all of them being minor issues. If I do not cut her off she seems to go on forever. Once I ...
- 19
2
votes
1
answer
917
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My friend doesn't realise he's fallen for a multi-level marketing scheme. How can I help? [closed]
A friend of mine (originally my personal trainer, I don't see him any more, but we keep in contact) is caught up in a MLM scheme. This is a well known scheme and there is a lot of info out there about ...
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15
votes
3
answers
6k
views
How can I help my partner with her body image without offending her?
I have been together with my girlfriend (let's call her Alice) for about one and a half years, with most part of it being long-distance due to her father working in another country and bringing the ...
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72
votes
7
answers
13k
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How to politely handle support requests which lack some basic understanding?
So as a free software developer, I'm fond that there are users of my projects.
However, from time to time, it happens that some people who are definitely not in the target audience for a piece of ...
- 691
8
votes
8
answers
4k
views
How to constructively engage a female friend with possible body image problems?
A few months ago, I happened to reconnect with one of my friends, and noticed she was thinner than I remember. She had always been a thin girl, but now she looked even more so. Just yesterday I saw ...
user5808
30
votes
11
answers
4k
views
Ask for support with weight loss, without sounding tedious
My question is sort-of related to this one but has the roles reversed. I've been overweight for at least 10 years, and obese for approximately 6. Last February, I decided to better my life. I've ...
- 33.9k
21
votes
5
answers
2k
views
How to efficiently and effectively decline help, being somewhat rude if necessary
As a person who is what is euphemistically called a "senior citizen" I occasionally receive offers of "help" that I do not need and do not want. Maybe in 10 years I will, but not now.
I cannot figure ...
user1760
11
votes
4
answers
509
views
How to overcome the anxiety occuring when one wants to ask for help? [closed]
Very often, when I need someone's help (be it a little advice or the need of an item, be it at the work or among friends, and so on) a feeling of stress comes over my mind.
I found out it has various ...
- 1,104