Questions tagged [how-to-help]

Use this tag for questions looking to identify interpersonal skills which can help another person with interpersonal issues. Questions must have a clear and specific goal!

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1
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2answers
882 views

My boyfriend blocked me, I would like to make up with him

Background: I have been dating my boyfriend for almost four years. We are a long distance couple. Basically my boyfriend blocked me on all social media because I have overreacted on him. That was two ...
107
votes
11answers
22k views

How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset?

A close family member of mine is a raw vegan, anti vaxer, anti-antibiotics, anti-fluoride, believes in chemtrails, has a machine that filters water and makes it alkaline, eats lots of supplements, ...
2
votes
4answers
518 views

How to support people who feel something mistakenly without invalidating their feelings

A few times recently I've found myself trying to offer support to people that are unhappy because they feel something that I think is false. For example, my girlfriend sometimes says "I feel so ...
1
vote
2answers
523 views

What type of support should I offer my partner who clearly hates his job?

Background I'm a 22-year-old and have a long-time partner, who I have been with since we met at university. We both live in the Midwest in the United States, and have been planning to move into an ...
1
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1answer
1k views

How to get close to a old friend, who dosen't look that good now

I had a really good friend (let's call him X). We were the kind of friends which teachers would call inseparable. We went to the same school, the same private tuition and then hung out for some time. ...
9
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3answers
2k views

How do I deal with my girlfriends anxiety affecting my relationship with my friends

My girlfriend has anxiety issues for which she currently is prescribed medication. The medication helps but she still struggles with social occasions, especially when she does not know many people ...
3
votes
1answer
190 views

How to encourage a relative to follow their initial will to try therapy?

The elder sister of my boyfriend is in a situation I would not envy: being in her 50s, jobless and no qualification, married to someone she doesn't really love and controlling her finance tightly, ...
2
votes
2answers
358 views

Can't get through to someone who needs help

I've known someone through a social activity group for about a year. At first he seemed a bit odd, but more or less harmless. He's a smart and funny guy and it can be good talking with him in short ...
1
vote
1answer
845 views

How to talk to a friend about her concerning social media posts?

Recently one of my friends has been writing concerning posts on her social media. She said something like "my life has always been so hard", and "what's the point of living if there is so much ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How to deal with a depressed person who thinks people are uniting against her?

Let's call this person Alice. Alice is currently in therapy and taking drugs to treat a long lasting depression. Alice is also quite egocentric i.e. likes to be in everybody's focus and tries to get ...
5
votes
3answers
525 views

How to express sympathy to a very great friend whose father is dying very soon?

Right now I am confronted with a difficult situation where I want to ask for your empathetic recommendation. The father of one of my very best friends strongly suffers on cancer and is dying very soon ...
3
votes
1answer
954 views

How to help someone who threatens self-harm over the internet? [closed]

I'm not sure if it belongs here but I'm at a loss. There's a woman in South Africa who doesn't have anyone to turn to. I'm trying to help talk her out of harming herself. She says she's lost ...
5
votes
2answers
516 views

How to support my friend who is going to have surgery?

One of my best friends is going to have a cardiac surgery and she is only 17. Unfortunately she is in a high-functioning depression and I really don't know what to say or what to do for her to give ...
4
votes
1answer
577 views

How to identify and approach persons of low income with the aim to help [closed]

I apologize in advance if this seems distasteful in any way, I'm genuinely trying to be helpful. I live in a low income area in the UK, however I am fairly comfortable financially. It pains me ...
8
votes
1answer
854 views

How to talk to someone crying alone in the airport? [closed]

I witnessed a lady bursting in tears while using the phone (I assume she was conversing with someone via text), at the gate. Particularly, this happened in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. She was sitting on ...
1
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3answers
2k views

How to help my girlfriend be more expressive of herself and develop own identity

I have a girlfriend whom I love very much. She is very intelligent and has a warm, caring personality. However, one thing I noticed is that she is somewhat reluctant to have her own opinions on a lot ...
0
votes
2answers
308 views

How do I comfort someone I love after their dad died? [closed]

The dad of the girl that I love died some days ago. And I just want to make her feel better but I don't know the words, if I need to let her vent. I'm so cold talking with people about love because it'...
11
votes
1answer
731 views

How to help a stranger (woman) in an abusive relationship?

I'm in an online support group for people with anxiety, depression and these kinds of things and, in this group, people would often post things about the difficult situation they are in. Recently, a ...
22
votes
1answer
1k views

Warning someone that they have been suckered into a scam

A friend of mine (let's call her Anne) was recently drawn into attending life-coaching sessions, through an organization which is a scam based on the Lifespring model (tl;dr they give you a ...
13
votes
4answers
1k views

How to support a friend when you disagree with their choices?

Background I (M) have a very close friend (F) who has recently been affected by an autoimmune disorder. Doctors' responses have been, essentially, 'well, we don't know why this happened but this is ...
10
votes
1answer
433 views

How to ask a possibly depressed, not-so-close friend if they need help

Context: Western European country, people involved are in their late 20's I was at a party at a friends house, where I met a mutual acquaintance, whom I have met only a few times in the past. We had ...
12
votes
1answer
2k views

Worried about girlfriend lifestyle changes

My girlfriend has been experimenting with different lifestyle changes lately, which I think is not only amazing, but an important element in growth. I would like to support her through all these ...
16
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8answers
2k views

How can I support a friend with healthy weight loss?

I caught up with a friend recently, and she mentioned that she is trying to lose weight (she is overweight). She told me about the program she is using for it which sounded great and supportive. But ...
6
votes
2answers
640 views

How can I communicate to a friend that he should apply to more jobs?

An acquaintance of mine is a teacher. Because of a change of rules at his school, all the teachers will have to reapply for their jobs next year. I'm sure he'll get his job back, but if he does not, ...
20
votes
10answers
11k views

How do I tell or convince a friend that he should do an autism test?

I know a person "Bob" and his family very well. He had problems in his apprenticeship. I know another person that has the Asperger Syndrome and my friend Bob shows a lot of similarities. I don't want ...
4
votes
2answers
717 views

How to deal with a family member who does not care about anything in life?

TL;DR How to help/support a close person with no long-term goals in life who shies away from everything that is not immediately rewarding. My brother seems to be completely unmotivated. The only ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I help my friend accept that the relationship is over?

After 9 months into the relationship, my early 20's friend just got dumped. She thought he was the one. He'd say things like "I've never felt this way with anyone before," or "I could see myself being ...
25
votes
3answers
4k views

How can I ask an autistic volunteer at camp to be more independent?

I work at a camp run by the nature center in a large local nature reservation. Each camp is for three hours, either in the morning or afternoon. Optimally, there is a naturalist leading the camp, an ...
24
votes
5answers
4k views

How do I get a delusional friend to seek professional help?

I have a good friend who has recently lost the ability to take advice or criticism and has become extremely delusional as a result. It's clear that he has a mental disability of some description and ...
35
votes
6answers
15k views

How to make girlfriend feel better about health and body

For context, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now, and we're really close, especially when it comes to talking things over. We would both describe ourselves as nerds, and would ...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

How should I respond to verbal abuse when not directed at me?

Background I recently met this couple through my boyfriend. The husband is from southern Europe (Bob) and his wife is from Tibet (Lisa). Bob met Lisa in Nepal during a trip to India some 20 years ago,...
44
votes
10answers
15k views

How to answer a technical question without sounding patronizing

Context : My girlfriend (let's call her V) and I, are programmers, and sometimes we ask each other questions when we believe the other may have an answer. A few times, she’s told me that I sounded ...
7
votes
0answers
526 views

Helping a friend who will likely die without help, but refuses help? [closed]

So I have a friend who's suffering from a condition known as cirrhosis that will likely take their life anytime between several months from now and several years from now. The thing is, this ...
58
votes
7answers
17k views

How to help a friend through a rough breakup when his actions are testing the limits of my patience?

One of my close friends, who is 25, has recently broken up with his girlfriend of 10-11 months. Naturally, he has turned to me and other people close to him for help and support. My friend is, by ...
1
vote
1answer
428 views

Disproving false beliefs of an acquaintance which may be dangerous or affect our relationships [duplicate]

There is a similar question here: How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset? My question has a different setting: I'm ...
15
votes
3answers
4k views

How to ask my girlfriend to take anger management classes?

It occurs once per two days, on average. She gets mad about something really stupid and not worth arguing about, yells, gets really upset, stops talking. For example, we go somewhere, she's not sure ...
9
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I help my father understand our dog's needs?

Our family dog is a very cheerful border collie. She's great with people, kids too, but not with other dogs. She is scared of them. We got her when she was a year old and she never learned to walk on ...
20
votes
3answers
4k views

Tips on reassuring partner with bad experiences with previous partners

So... I'm looking at trying to help my current partner (girlfriend) help overcome her emotions when we get in a little bit of a minor argument about random topics and she gets emotional about me ...
29
votes
2answers
7k views

How to help my friend who is a functioning alcoholic?

I have a friend who is a functioning alcoholic. He's in his early thirties, lives with his parents in a small apartment and has a degree in electrical engineering (never practiced it). At first, I ...
42
votes
7answers
15k views

How to suggest someone to find a hobby without offending them?

As for the topic, if possible I'd be grateful for general answer and more specific one regarding following situation: My girlfriend has a clinically diagnosed depression (she attends visits with ...
2
votes
0answers
292 views

Relationship with alcoholic cross country? [closed]

I am struggling to figure out how to have a productive relationship with a friend struggling with alcoholism cross country. We were both part of a large and strong friend group in college. After ...
1
vote
1answer
268 views

How to deal with brother-in-law drinking and smoking way too much? [closed]

Story I'm 25 years old - my GF is 24 -, her brother is 20. He is a very kind and easy-going person, we both have sympathy and consideration for each other. However I noticed that during family meeting ...
15
votes
4answers
3k views

How to ask my housemate to take better care of his pets?

We have three kittens (around 16 weeks old) and a bearded dragon in our household. The kittens are well fed and looked after because I look after all three of them. I have no qualms with that at all. ...
1
vote
1answer
406 views

Should I tell someone exactly what to say?

This question came about because of a comment someone made about an answer I posted recently. I'm aware that this site deals in specifics but I do feel that the question itself is specific while it ...
8
votes
3answers
3k views

How can I explain to someone that they are not being bullied, that instead he is bullying?

Names in this question are not actual names, not even online pseudonyms. I am the leader of a mediumsized online gaming community (about 50 active members). Alice and Bob assist me in running this ...
8
votes
5answers
3k views

What to do when a friend's close relative dies? [duplicate]

As a 17 years old, I have never had to face this unfortunate and sad situation before. My friend's grandad just died, what can I do to support him? I live in Delhi, India . My friend comes from a ...
30
votes
9answers
12k views

Can you help someone become more self aware?

The TL:DR is the actual heading. The rest is all backstory on why I am asking. I am asking if I can (or maybe even should try) to assist my spouse on becoming more self aware. My husband and I were ...
-2
votes
6answers
2k views

How to respond to a flat-earther? [closed]

I wanted to provide evidence for a friend who recently shocked me with her views that the Elon Musk car in space was a fake. My answer to her that I trust people who specialize in the field to know ...
0
votes
2answers
640 views

How to help a friend in doubt about staying with his family or moving to the USA and what type of life suits him the best?

There is a friend of mine. He has planned to move to the USA to study, which is going to take 5 years. He is doubtful about whether he is going to have a good life being far from family (it's not ...
8
votes
6answers
2k views

How to explain that it upsets me to see people kill insects?

I feel like most humans have judged value of life by size since beginning of the universe, but I tend to not share that same viewpoint. For example, when something sweet is left in my kitchen, ...