Questions tagged [how-to-help]

Use this tag for questions looking to identify interpersonal skills which can help another person with interpersonal issues. Questions must have a clear and specific goal!

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107
votes
11answers
22k views

How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset?

A close family member of mine is a raw vegan, anti vaxer, anti-antibiotics, anti-fluoride, believes in chemtrails, has a machine that filters water and makes it alkaline, eats lots of supplements, ...
58
votes
7answers
17k views

How to help a friend through a rough breakup when his actions are testing the limits of my patience?

One of my close friends, who is 25, has recently broken up with his girlfriend of 10-11 months. Naturally, he has turned to me and other people close to him for help and support. My friend is, by ...
44
votes
10answers
15k views

How to answer a technical question without sounding patronizing

Context : My girlfriend (let's call her V) and I, are programmers, and sometimes we ask each other questions when we believe the other may have an answer. A few times, she’s told me that I sounded ...
42
votes
7answers
15k views

How to suggest someone to find a hobby without offending them?

As for the topic, if possible I'd be grateful for general answer and more specific one regarding following situation: My girlfriend has a clinically diagnosed depression (she attends visits with ...
38
votes
9answers
17k views

How to tell a non-muslim friend that "Inter-faith Marriage not gonna work"?

I had a pretty religious (Christian) friend from the UK (of the same age as me - late 20's) and we often used to talk about Quran and Gospel (she had knowledge of both and so did I) and it leads to ...
35
votes
6answers
15k views

How to make girlfriend feel better about health and body

For context, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now, and we're really close, especially when it comes to talking things over. We would both describe ourselves as nerds, and would ...
31
votes
5answers
11k views

How to help my girlfriend get her confidence back? [closed]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now, and while I consider her to be an amazing person, she has an extremely low opinion of herself, calling herself "worthless" or the ...
30
votes
6answers
5k views

How to help my mother work through extreme anxieties?

My mom has had anxiety issues for as long as I can remember. It used to be sort of quirky and not disruptive of our lives, including (but not limited to): Touring each room of the house to make sure ...
30
votes
9answers
12k views

Can you help someone become more self aware?

The TL:DR is the actual heading. The rest is all backstory on why I am asking. I am asking if I can (or maybe even should try) to assist my spouse on becoming more self aware. My husband and I were ...
29
votes
2answers
7k views

How to help my friend who is a functioning alcoholic?

I have a friend who is a functioning alcoholic. He's in his early thirties, lives with his parents in a small apartment and has a degree in electrical engineering (never practiced it). At first, I ...
25
votes
15answers
12k views

How can I help my Significant Other to overcome his fear particularly when I don't understand it?

Everything is in the title but in case it matters here is some context: I don't fear things (spiders or snakes or blood or needles or whatever) and I don't really understand how/why people are afraid ...
25
votes
3answers
4k views

How can I ask an autistic volunteer at camp to be more independent?

I work at a camp run by the nature center in a large local nature reservation. Each camp is for three hours, either in the morning or afternoon. Optimally, there is a naturalist leading the camp, an ...
24
votes
5answers
4k views

How do I get a delusional friend to seek professional help?

I have a good friend who has recently lost the ability to take advice or criticism and has become extremely delusional as a result. It's clear that he has a mental disability of some description and ...
22
votes
1answer
1k views

Warning someone that they have been suckered into a scam

A friend of mine (let's call her Anne) was recently drawn into attending life-coaching sessions, through an organization which is a scam based on the Lifespring model (tl;dr they give you a ...
20
votes
10answers
11k views

How do I tell or convince a friend that he should do an autism test?

I know a person "Bob" and his family very well. He had problems in his apprenticeship. I know another person that has the Asperger Syndrome and my friend Bob shows a lot of similarities. I don't want ...
20
votes
3answers
4k views

Tips on reassuring partner with bad experiences with previous partners

So... I'm looking at trying to help my current partner (girlfriend) help overcome her emotions when we get in a little bit of a minor argument about random topics and she gets emotional about me ...
16
votes
8answers
2k views

How can I support a friend with healthy weight loss?

I caught up with a friend recently, and she mentioned that she is trying to lose weight (she is overweight). She told me about the program she is using for it which sounded great and supportive. But ...
15
votes
4answers
9k views

How can I talk with my older cousin about his sexuality?

I came out for my family about 6 months ago. I was 23 at the time, and everyone was shocked. They have a very limited mind about those things: asking me if I'll be dressing like a girl, if I want to ...
15
votes
3answers
4k views

How to ask my girlfriend to take anger management classes?

It occurs once per two days, on average. She gets mad about something really stupid and not worth arguing about, yells, gets really upset, stops talking. For example, we go somewhere, she's not sure ...
15
votes
4answers
3k views

How to react when a complete stranger bursts out crying in front of you?

I was at Victoria coach station in London a few months back and a woman out of nowhere started crying in front of me. She had just got off of the phone and was visibly shaken up, she just kind of sat ...
15
votes
4answers
3k views

How to ask my housemate to take better care of his pets?

We have three kittens (around 16 weeks old) and a bearded dragon in our household. The kittens are well fed and looked after because I look after all three of them. I have no qualms with that at all. ...
13
votes
4answers
1k views

How to support a friend when you disagree with their choices?

Background I (M) have a very close friend (F) who has recently been affected by an autoimmune disorder. Doctors' responses have been, essentially, 'well, we don't know why this happened but this is ...
13
votes
1answer
2k views

What to do if I/Someone I know is feeling depressed/suicidal? [closed]

As stated in the title, myself/someone I know is currently suffering from depression/suicidal tendencies and I was wondering if anyone had any advice on what to do?
12
votes
3answers
2k views

How to help my friend so he doesn't rely on me financially as much?

Context I have a really good friend of mine, who has fallen on hard times. He got screwed over by his old boss, which made him lose his job, house and girlfriend (within a 4 week period). He's an ...
12
votes
1answer
2k views

Worried about girlfriend lifestyle changes

My girlfriend has been experimenting with different lifestyle changes lately, which I think is not only amazing, but an important element in growth. I would like to support her through all these ...
11
votes
3answers
4k views

How can I help a shy friend to be less shy?

In a few weeks time I'm spending a week with a close friend, and as part of that we're planning on going to various places (via bus) and going out in public together a lot. However my friend is very ...
11
votes
3answers
2k views

How to help a friend that is suddenly socially withdrawn?

I have a friend who is usually has no issue with social life but suddenly decided to refuse any social activity, including their close friends. They are still meeting with close relatives and friends,...
11
votes
1answer
1k views

Helping a friend who lacks motivation to move on with their life [closed]

I have a good friend [27 Male] who works a dead-end job that barely pays and makes him work long hours such that he doesn't really get to do things he enjoys. He originally started this job after ...
11
votes
1answer
730 views

How to help a stranger (woman) in an abusive relationship?

I'm in an online support group for people with anxiety, depression and these kinds of things and, in this group, people would often post things about the difficult situation they are in. Recently, a ...
10
votes
1answer
705 views

How to tell when a friend wants advice regarding their complaint?

Occasionally, friends will complain to me about various things. When they do, I feel bad about it, and attempt to offer various pieces of advice to try to fix the problem. My mindset is, in this ...
10
votes
1answer
433 views

How to ask a possibly depressed, not-so-close friend if they need help

Context: Western European country, people involved are in their late 20's I was at a party at a friends house, where I met a mutual acquaintance, whom I have met only a few times in the past. We had ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I deal with my girlfriends anxiety affecting my relationship with my friends

My girlfriend has anxiety issues for which she currently is prescribed medication. The medication helps but she still struggles with social occasions, especially when she does not know many people ...
9
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I help my father understand our dog's needs?

Our family dog is a very cheerful border collie. She's great with people, kids too, but not with other dogs. She is scared of them. We got her when she was a year old and she never learned to walk on ...
9
votes
2answers
732 views

How to tell co-worker not to ask me do last minute work?

Frequently, when I am just about to leave my workplace, my co-worker asks me to pass him something that he needs (to do his work) about 5 minutes before work time ends. Sometimes, I do not have it ...
9
votes
3answers
643 views

Intervene in private conversation where a person seems to be manipulated

I am at a café, and I can't help myself from hearing strangers conversation at the next table. Two well-dressed persons (A and B) are doing their best to make C (older, unshaved and awkwardly ...
8
votes
6answers
2k views

How to explain that it upsets me to see people kill insects?

I feel like most humans have judged value of life by size since beginning of the universe, but I tend to not share that same viewpoint. For example, when something sweet is left in my kitchen, ...
8
votes
5answers
3k views

What to do when a friend's close relative dies? [duplicate]

As a 17 years old, I have never had to face this unfortunate and sad situation before. My friend's grandad just died, what can I do to support him? I live in Delhi, India . My friend comes from a ...
8
votes
3answers
3k views

How can I explain to someone that they are not being bullied, that instead he is bullying?

Names in this question are not actual names, not even online pseudonyms. I am the leader of a mediumsized online gaming community (about 50 active members). Alice and Bob assist me in running this ...
8
votes
1answer
854 views

How to talk to someone crying alone in the airport? [closed]

I witnessed a lady bursting in tears while using the phone (I assume she was conversing with someone via text), at the gate. Particularly, this happened in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. She was sitting on ...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

How should I respond to verbal abuse when not directed at me?

Background I recently met this couple through my boyfriend. The husband is from southern Europe (Bob) and his wife is from Tibet (Lisa). Bob met Lisa in Nepal during a trip to India some 20 years ago,...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How to deal with a depressed person who thinks people are uniting against her?

Let's call this person Alice. Alice is currently in therapy and taking drugs to treat a long lasting depression. Alice is also quite egocentric i.e. likes to be in everybody's focus and tries to get ...
7
votes
4answers
1k views

How to help a person with motivation/rewarding

A little of background: my fiancé is dealing with depression. She had a very hard time when she was mostly laying in bed, crying and being anxious. Now, thanks to medicine she's taking, psychotherapy, ...
7
votes
0answers
526 views

Helping a friend who will likely die without help, but refuses help? [closed]

So I have a friend who's suffering from a condition known as cirrhosis that will likely take their life anytime between several months from now and several years from now. The thing is, this ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I help my friend accept that the relationship is over?

After 9 months into the relationship, my early 20's friend just got dumped. She thought he was the one. He'd say things like "I've never felt this way with anyone before," or "I could see myself being ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I help my partner handle pressure?

Situation My boyfriend and I are in the situation that we are actually starting to live our future. We have been together for 5 years now and have gone through much together. I'm in my mid-twenties ...
6
votes
2answers
640 views

How can I communicate to a friend that he should apply to more jobs?

An acquaintance of mine is a teacher. Because of a change of rules at his school, all the teachers will have to reapply for their jobs next year. I'm sure he'll get his job back, but if he does not, ...
5
votes
2answers
516 views

How to support my friend who is going to have surgery?

One of my best friends is going to have a cardiac surgery and she is only 17. Unfortunately she is in a high-functioning depression and I really don't know what to say or what to do for her to give ...
5
votes
3answers
525 views

How to express sympathy to a very great friend whose father is dying very soon?

Right now I am confronted with a difficult situation where I want to ask for your empathetic recommendation. The father of one of my very best friends strongly suffers on cancer and is dying very soon ...
4
votes
1answer
577 views

How to identify and approach persons of low income with the aim to help [closed]

I apologize in advance if this seems distasteful in any way, I'm genuinely trying to be helpful. I live in a low income area in the UK, however I am fairly comfortable financially. It pains me ...
4
votes
4answers
1k views

How do I say "no" to an ill friend who wants to leave hospital?

A friend of mine (20-30) was recently admitted into hospital for minor surgery. When we visited him a few days later he was certainly better, but then the next day he told me that he was in pain and ...