Questions tagged [lgbt+]

The LGBT+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and sexual/gender minorities) tag may be used where issues of sexuality, gender, or lack there of, are central to the question.

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2answers
668 views

How should I address a person who offers a choice of personal pronouns

I've recently seen a number of people who, when listing their personal pronouns, appear to be offering a choice. In particular, I have seen folks say "she" or "they" In situations where asking ...
18
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3answers
1k views

How can I talk with my friend/co-worker about that fact that learning about his relationship upset me?

Background I am a male in my mid 20s. For about 10 years now I have been struggling with life and severe depression. I never had any friends, my family hates me and treats me pretty bad, my social ...
8
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2answers
1k views

Avoiding conflict when showing my family my new name

I don't like my name, I never had. Recently, I found myself a new name that I really love and I have started using it online. Now, the thing is that I just received a (nice) mug with my "new name" on ...
20
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2answers
2k views

How to have an honest discussion, when all outcomes are undesirable

Background: My partner and I have been together for 9 years, beginning in high school. Around year three we went through a rough patch where my partner emotionally abused me into consenting to sex, ...
3
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3answers
2k views

Untangling the intersections of transphobia, fetishization, and reality

This is an issue that I've been running into quite a bit in the last year or so, primarily on an online image/meme sharing site. It usually pops up in the context of cosplayers' or animes' depictions ...
26
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2answers
3k views

How to get my wife to accept bisexuality before our daughter comes out of the closet?

My oldest daughter is 19 and told me last halloween that she's bi. My daughter is amazingly high functioning (mentally, socially, even professionally) but is living at home at the moment because ...
13
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5answers
1k views

How to avoid having always the same debates with a friend of mine?

I have a friend, let's call him Jack, who likes to debate and who takes any chance to try and turn the topic of a conversation into the one he prefers. Last time it happened, I had posted a news on ...
12
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2answers
995 views

Tactfully declining a family Thanksgiving invitation

That time of year is approaching once again. Tis' the season for social obligation, and my cousin has already started in about Thanksgiving via text messages. This year has brought a bit of a twist in ...
4
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2answers
1k views

How to tell a new guy I misunderstood my open relationship rules

I know there are a lot of "how to tell a guy I am not interested" posts but this is slightly different due to: I am interested I want to keep going to the cafe he works at I am in an open ...
12
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3answers
2k views

Finding out if my crush is gay

I am a middle aged man living in western Europe. I have a crush on a female colleague who recently joined the company where I am working, but in a different department from me. Today by random chance ...
36
votes
3answers
9k views

How can I handle a bisexual friend whom I think is attracted to me?

As some background, I go to a co-ed boarding high school. I have a girlfriend back home and am straight. My wing in the dorms is filled with a large collection of my friends. We're close- we play ...
42
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5answers
11k views

How can I help a close friend get over me?

I have this friend, I could easily call her my best friend. We see each other at least twice a week usually, have travelled together etc. About 6 months ago she confessed that she has feelings for me, ...
36
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8answers
11k views

Encouraging bystanders to step up

I ran into a rather nasty one this past weekend. I was out with a close friend at a party and could very clearly hear people making exceptionally nasty homophobic and transphobic comments, up to and ...
4
votes
0answers
355 views

Should I try to react to behind-the-back insults in my partner's minority outreach program? [closed]

Relevant identity context, I'm white, my partner can be reasonably seen to a stranger as white, and both of us are genderqueer and LGBTQ+ identifying. I work at a college in Boston, and my partner (...
67
votes
6answers
28k views

How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people

Context I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., ...
1
vote
1answer
434 views

How to react to a conversation where a friend is indirectly revealed as trans/fluid [closed]

I was in a conversation with a friend who revealed they identified as "trans/fluid". It wasn't said as a declaration, rather it was said in such a way as if I already knew about it. I hid my surprise ...
18
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3answers
8k views

Requesting time off to attend a Pride event

For those that are unfamiliar June is Pride month. The month of June was chosen for LGBT Pride Month to commemorate the Stonewall riots, which occurred at the end of June 1969. As a result, many ...
9
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4answers
2k views

Discussing misuse of my partner's pronouns with their best friend?

For nearly half a year now my partner, "Jane", has taken to using non-binary gender pronouns (they/them) and has asked those around them to respect this decision. The problem is that their closest ...
10
votes
1answer
951 views

How to rebuff probing questions when introducing my girlfriend to acquaintances as a friend?

I come from India, where the culture is a little more conservative than in the West. I am a woman dating a woman (Let's call her D), currently in the US. My girlfriend's roommate's parents recently ...
63
votes
11answers
22k views

How to quickly remove yourself from a homophobic conversation?

My problem arises with the fact that I grew up in a very homophobic environment. I'm personally bi (so most people just take me as straight). Yet, I have homosexual friends with whom I'm very close, ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

How can I explain to my parents my decision to live in co-ed housing next year?

I'm male, 20, and going to university in the USA. My family is of Indian heritage, but lives in the U.S. They pay for most of my tuition and housing costs. In my particular cultural segment, it's ...
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11answers
17k views

How can I effectively tell people that their defensiveness over me bringing up an issue is part of the issue?

Seems like it would be kind of self evident, but it's something that I encounter fairly often when talking to some folks about issues of discrimination and bias that drives me crazy... When someone ...
38
votes
6answers
11k views

How do I communicate gracefully to coworkers that they are accidentally misgendering me?

I am a transwoman about 7 months in my real life phase and not a week goes by that I am not accidentally misgendered by my some of my coworkers. That is, they use the wrong pronouns to refer to me or, ...
10
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4answers
2k views

How to tell a coworker to dress more appropriately for the office

One of my co-workers transitioned a year ago and she's really happy to be a woman, to finally being herself. However, she's putting too short skirt and short... I know that she's going through a ...
54
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4answers
18k views

How to tell a trans couple that their overly romantic behaviour makes you uncomfortable, without coming across transphobic?

Intro: We all have seen a couple who are so in love they have lengthy kisses in public, always display affection, call each other cute names and wherever they go or sit, they always appear to cuddle. ...
15
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5answers
2k views

Comforting a gender-fluid partner experiencing dysphoria

My partner is gender-fluid and occasionally experiences dysphoria. Most often it seems to be caused by societal pressure to conform to their assigned gender, but occasionally they seem to have some ...
4
votes
2answers
673 views

Communicating my (one-sided) exclusivity without pressuring

Context: London, UK, dealing with same-sex male relationships. I have a recurring issue whenever I date someone new, and all the IPS solutions I have tried to come up with have failed in the past in ...
4
votes
0answers
1k views

How to respond to co-worker who suggest you may be gay? [closed]

In group conversations, certain co-workers would make offensive remarks to suggest I may be gay. I am a male gay and am not out of the closet. Examples of such remarks: "Would you prefer an ...
14
votes
1answer
1k views

How to deal with a teacher who bullies me?

Cultural Background: I come from a highly conservative country which follows Islam. According to cultural and I think religious perceptions, being transgender is not okay at all! Having to do ...
14
votes
4answers
2k views

How do I tell my parents I don't enjoy their company?

I moved to a new country (Canada) for university about a year ago. I am doing well in my studies. I'm not so well mentally but that's always been an issue even back home. My parents often come to ...
13
votes
1answer
1k views

How best to come out to socially conservative (and religious) family members?

Some background: I have a small number of close family members, and all of them (apart from my siblings) are socially conservative (ranging from quite socially conservative, to very socially ...
69
votes
9answers
18k views

Responding to my mom's remarks about my love life when she refuses to accept/acknowledge it

Background I'm the only child in a religious, conservative family. We do not see eye to eye on many current events, as they often only watch a single (biased) news source, and stand their ground on ...
7
votes
2answers
1k views

How to ask/find out if people are interested in LGBT dating/relationships?

It's a fact that the majority of people are heterosexual. So if I meet a person, I first assume that he/she is heterosexual. How can I ask a person of the same gender out, if I don't know if the ...
42
votes
13answers
19k views

How to ask a new friend about his sexuality?

A few weeks ago, I met a guy, and we started a friendship. We're still getting to know each other, but as time passes I have more and more reasons to believe he has different interests than I (a ...
25
votes
6answers
9k views

How can I explain to others that I'm not comfortable with the word 'queer'?

As an individual who is not okay with the word 'queer' being used to describe me, what is the most socially acceptable and sensitive way to communicate that to individuals who are? To rephrase - if ...
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6answers
7k views

How to get a close relative to stop disrespecting LGBT people in random conversations without starting any argument/fight?

I have a close immediate relative who has a habit of making derogatory/sarcastic/rude remark about LGBT people. He doesn't say this to their face but behind their back or makes remarks about LGBT ...
23
votes
6answers
7k views

How to respond to questions at family holiday gatherings without making the asker uncomfortable about my sexuality?

Tis the season for social obligation... Unfortunately for some this leads to some awkward and uncomfortable situations. How do you navigate family holiday parties when many family members are ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I turn down requests for a relationship without causing undue hurt?

I am a 15-year-old aromantic asexual (that's the closest description I could come up with anyway). People at school say I'm really attractive; I've had four people ask me out in two weeks and my ...
29
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5answers
8k views

How can I correct my family's use of language related to LGBT+ issues without making them uncomfortable?

How can I correct my family's use of language related to LGBT+ issues without making them uncomfortable? I recently "came out" as queer, or more specifically somewhat pansexual¹, to two more members ...
55
votes
4answers
10k views

What pronoun to use when talking about a transgender person's past?

I have an old friend who recently came out as transgender. We have a very healthy relationship in general, but I often find myself wondering if I should mention his past (before he came out) and, if I ...
128
votes
11answers
29k views

How to deflect awkward questions when shopping for women's clothing as a man?

This is going to be a bit of weird question, but I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I'm an Indian guy who's recently immigrated to Britain for college. I'm also very, how to put this, ...
13
votes
6answers
5k views

How do I let someone I'm romantically interested in know I think we wouldn't work out because I am not straight?

Background: I was born female and I am hetero-romantic, but I'm starting to think that I might be both asexual and agender. I have always been uncomfortable with the idea that I am "supposed" to look, ...
12
votes
4answers
5k views

How do you avoid conflict with zealots?

I've been dealing with a rather uncomfortable situation for the last few days... To understand it best it's probably better to start from the beginning. I was raised in a very traditional, but rather ...
14
votes
4answers
8k views

How can I talk with my older cousin about his sexuality?

I came out for my family about 6 months ago. I was 23 at the time, and everyone was shocked. They have a very limited mind about those things: asking me if I'll be dressing like a girl, if I want to ...
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2answers
1k views

How should I address a drag queen?

I've been invited to a night out with a few friends and we're going to a drag show! Something that I've never done before but I am excited about. I believe that there will be other drag queens ...
26
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2answers
4k views

My friend doesn't react well to my sexuality

I am an openly gay teenager who lives in the UK. I recently came out to one of my childhood friends, after having very positive responses from my current friend group and people my age. However, that ...
23
votes
4answers
6k views

So, my boss is teaching a class “about transgenders” [closed]

So, my boss is teaching a class "about transgenders"... My boss mentioned at a staff meeting today that she would be teaching a class "about transgenders" at an upcoming industry conference. To be ...
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votes
4answers
1k views

How do I avoid / minimise hurtful reactions when revealing information at work?

I work in office environments as a web developer. I also perform as a drag queen as a hobby and spend time advocating for LGBT rights. On past occasions, usually to direct lines of questioning that ...