Questions tagged [lgbt+]

Use this tag when issues specific to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or other sexual/gender minorities impact the interpersonal interaction in the question. Don't use it when a member of the LGBT+ community is involved, but them being LGBT+ isn't relevant to the question.

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11
votes
2answers
690 views

What are the practical ways to minimize dead-naming of someone behind their back?

I see from social media that a former colleague "A" (whom I'm not close to and haven't spoken to in years) now has a differently-gendered name, look, and pronouns from what they had when I ...
5
votes
1answer
372 views

How to express that you are here to listen without missleading them about your feelings?

In a social network group (Twitter), there is a boy who shows signs of loneliness and needs for a partner but with immaturity. This group is made of know unknown people and I know him less. And his ...
2
votes
3answers
985 views

How can I ask my crush if he’s part of the LGBTQ+ community?

I’m a 14 year old pansexual (or bisexual, I'm not 100% sure) girl. I've been talking to this guy for quite some time, who lives a bit further down my street and is 15. I’ve grown to like him as my ...
2
votes
0answers
347 views

How to express to a friend that someone outed their HIV status to me and that they should be aware who they share it with? [duplicate]

One of my gay friends told me that another friend of ours is HIV+ and that I should therefore avoid him. I told him is HIV status doesn't matter to me and that he should never have to tell me. And ...
10
votes
1answer
1k views

I suspect my wife is transgender. How can I talk best talk to them, and handle the possibilty if they are? [closed]

I've been with my wife for 10 years (married 2). I am a CIS male, and have suspected my partner (female sex, but agender) may be trans for a while now. They share a lot of similarities I've heard ...
5
votes
2answers
538 views

How to better understand the experience of transgender people? [closed]

I completely respect and support transgender rights from a rational perspective. I can see that it is something that 1) doesn't significantly affect other people so other people shouldn't be able to ...
38
votes
3answers
11k views

How can I handle a bisexual friend whom I think is attracted to me?

As some background, I go to a co-ed boarding high school. I have a girlfriend back home and am straight. My wing in the dorms is filled with a large collection of my friends. We're close- we play ...
9
votes
1answer
1k views

How to tell (presumably) straight men who are flirting with me that I'm male, but GNC without “miseducating” them?

CW: potential transphobia I'm a cisgender bi male, but I identify as broadly speaking gender non-conforming (GNC) and often dress in more effeminate men's or often outright femme-presenting outfits. I ...
41
votes
13answers
37k views

How to ask a new friend about his sexuality?

A few weeks ago, I met a guy, and we started a friendship. We're still getting to know each other, but as time passes I have more and more reasons to believe he has different interests than I (a ...
15
votes
1answer
1k views

How to respond to challenges about using the women's restroom as a trans woman

I'm a transgender woman, and I'm getting to the point in my transition where I'm starting to use the women's restroom. However, given the recent climate around transgender people using the appropriate ...
63
votes
4answers
15k views

How can I tell my date that one of her close friends outed her to me as trans?

TLDR: The person I started dating is/might be trans, but never told me and I'm not supposed to know. How can I approach the matter with her? What is the best way to do it without causing her ...
1
vote
1answer
2k views

Girlfriend indicated that she wants to pleasure me orally, which startled me, now things are stifled

My girlfriend and I have been having sex for a while now, but I guess she wants to start experimenting in bed. I'm not sure if it's because she's bored or if it's because she just wants to let me ...
5
votes
2answers
897 views

How to stay as the well-wisher/friend without escalating her feeling for me?

I used to have a transwoman friend who was waiting to become financially strong before thinking about transitioning. I was going through some stressful times and we used to discuss our issues. She was ...
21
votes
1answer
2k views

How to help my child come out as a trans woman to extended family?

My daughter was brave enough to come out to us that she is a woman. That story is on Parenting SE. My daughter would like to come out to the extended family well before the holidays so that people ...
94
votes
5answers
13k views

How to help a male-presenting person shop for women's clothes?

I'm a new store manager for a women's clothing store and I have been receiving male-presenting customers that are looking for women's clothes for themselves. I want to give them the best, supportive ...
15
votes
4answers
4k views

How do I reconnect with a friend after they tried once and I failed to respond

Background I've been out of college for about 4 years now, and during that time I've lost contact with one of my best friends. After I graduated college, I took a job in another city and moved about ...
27
votes
5answers
9k views

How to initiate a conversation with a person who recently had transition but you were not in touch with them?

I had a family friend/classmate/neighbor who I have not been in touch with for more than a decade and we were never friends but on friendly terms in childhood. Two years back I got to know that she ...
13
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I determine my boss's position on transgender rights?

I am a transwoman. I am in the closet. I am starting to transition so staying in the closet long-term isn't an option. Before I come out of the closet I would like to gauge how I think people are ...
3
votes
0answers
331 views

How do I bring up with my parents that I'm transgender? [closed]

I want to come out to my parents that I'm transgender so I can start with my Hormone Replacement Therapy. I'm an adult, so I don't need their consent but then I would be sneaking it behind their backs ...
68
votes
4answers
13k views

What pronoun to use when talking about a transgender person's past?

I have an old friend who recently came out as transgender. We have a very healthy relationship in general, but I often find myself wondering if I should mention his past (before he came out) and, if I ...
-4
votes
1answer
543 views

Seeking clarification on the use of “They/Them/Their” as a personal gender pronoun [closed]

We currently exist in a time of macro-evolution changes to our interpretation of gender and sex. The classical binary system of the Christian based Western cultures (and others) is being challenged ...
33
votes
11answers
19k views

How can I effectively tell people that their defensiveness over me bringing up an issue is part of the issue?

Seems like it would be kind of self evident, but it's something that I encounter fairly often when talking to some folks about issues of discrimination and bias that drives me crazy... When someone ...
16
votes
2answers
1k views

How to inform my family of my child's new gender identity?

As an extension to this question, my daughter was very relieved when I offered to talk to my family for her. My husband thought of having a brunch with our kids not in attendance. I thought of doing ...
47
votes
5answers
9k views

How to ask my office to remove the pride decorations without appearing anti-LGBTQ?

First, for clarification, I am not anti-LGBTQ. My office has taken part in the Pride Month, which is celebrated throughout the UK in June every year. The month celebrations end in a large Pride ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

How should I address a person who offers a choice of personal pronouns

I've recently seen a number of people who, when listing their personal pronouns, appear to be offering a choice. In particular, I have seen folks say "she" or "they" In situations where asking ...
139
votes
11answers
35k views

How to deflect awkward questions when shopping for women's clothing as a man?

This is going to be a bit of weird question, but I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I'm an Indian guy who's recently immigrated to Britain for college. I'm also very, how to put this, ...
19
votes
3answers
3k views

How can I talk with my friend/co-worker about that fact that learning about his relationship upset me?

Background I am a male in my mid 20s. For about 10 years now I have been struggling with life and severe depression. I never had any friends, my family hates me and treats me pretty bad, my social ...
12
votes
3answers
3k views

Finding out if my crush is gay

I am a middle aged man living in western Europe. I have a crush on a female colleague who recently joined the company where I am working, but in a different department from me. Today by random chance ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

Avoiding conflict when showing my family my new name

I don't like my name, I never had. Recently, I found myself a new name that I really love and I have started using it online. Now, the thing is that I just received a (nice) mug with my "new name" on ...
33
votes
2answers
4k views

How to get my wife to accept bisexuality before our daughter comes out of the closet?

My oldest daughter is 19 and told me last halloween that she's bi. My daughter is amazingly high functioning (mentally, socially, even professionally) but is living at home at the moment because ...
22
votes
2answers
2k views

How to have an honest discussion, when all outcomes are undesirable

Background: My partner and I have been together for 9 years, beginning in high school. Around year three we went through a rough patch where my partner emotionally abused me into consenting to sex, ...
20
votes
3answers
8k views

Requesting time off to attend a Pride event

For those that are unfamiliar June is Pride month. The month of June was chosen for LGBT Pride Month to commemorate the Stonewall riots, which occurred at the end of June 1969. As a result, many ...
5
votes
3answers
2k views

Untangling the intersections of transphobia, fetishization, and reality

This is an issue that I've been running into quite a bit in the last year or so, primarily on an online image/meme sharing site. It usually pops up in the context of cosplayers' or animes' depictions ...
13
votes
2answers
2k views

How should I address a drag queen?

I've been invited to a night out with a few friends and we're going to a drag show! Something that I've never done before but I am excited about. I believe that there will be other drag queens ...
12
votes
2answers
1k views

Tactfully declining a family Thanksgiving invitation

That time of year is approaching once again. Tis' the season for social obligation, and my cousin has already started in about Thanksgiving via text messages. This year has brought a bit of a twist in ...
68
votes
6answers
30k views

How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people

Context I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., ...
12
votes
5answers
1k views

How to avoid having always the same debates with a friend of mine?

I have a friend, let's call him Jack, who likes to debate and who takes any chance to try and turn the topic of a conversation into the one he prefers. Last time it happened, I had posted a news on ...
5
votes
2answers
2k views

How to tell a new guy I misunderstood my open relationship rules

I know there are a lot of "how to tell a guy I am not interested" posts but this is slightly different due to: I am interested I want to keep going to the cafe he works at I am in an open ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

How can I explain to my parents my decision to live in co-ed housing next year?

I'm male, 20, and going to university in the USA. My family is of Indian heritage, but lives in the U.S. They pay for most of my tuition and housing costs. In my particular cultural segment, it's ...
44
votes
5answers
14k views

How can I help a close friend get over me?

I have this friend, I could easily call her my best friend. We see each other at least twice a week usually, have travelled together etc. About 6 months ago she confessed that she has feelings for me, ...
37
votes
8answers
11k views

Encouraging bystanders to step up

I ran into a rather nasty one this past weekend. I was out with a close friend at a party and could very clearly hear people making exceptionally nasty homophobic and transphobic comments, up to and ...
4
votes
0answers
383 views

Should I try to react to behind-the-back insults in my partner's minority outreach program? [closed]

Relevant identity context, I'm white, my partner can be reasonably seen to a stranger as white, and both of us are genderqueer and LGBTQ+ identifying. I work at a college in Boston, and my partner (...
25
votes
6answers
9k views

How can I explain to others that I'm not comfortable with the word 'queer'?

As an individual who is not okay with the word 'queer' being used to describe me, what is the most socially acceptable and sensitive way to communicate that to individuals who are? To rephrase - if ...
1
vote
1answer
484 views

How to react to a conversation where a friend is indirectly revealed as trans/fluid [closed]

I was in a conversation with a friend who revealed they identified as "trans/fluid". It wasn't said as a declaration, rather it was said in such a way as if I already knew about it. I hid my surprise ...
38
votes
6answers
13k views

How do I communicate gracefully to coworkers that they are accidentally misgendering me?

I am a transwoman about 7 months in my real life phase and not a week goes by that I am not accidentally misgendered by my some of my coworkers. That is, they use the wrong pronouns to refer to me or, ...
10
votes
4answers
3k views

Discussing misuse of my partner's pronouns with their best friend?

For nearly half a year now my partner, "Jane", has taken to using non-binary gender pronouns (they/them) and has asked those around them to respect this decision. The problem is that their closest ...
12
votes
1answer
1k views

How to rebuff probing questions when introducing my girlfriend to acquaintances as a friend?

I come from India, where the culture is a little more conservative than in the West. I am a woman dating a woman (Let's call her D), currently in the US. My girlfriend's roommate's parents recently ...
63
votes
11answers
23k views

How to quickly remove yourself from a homophobic conversation?

My problem arises with the fact that I grew up in a very homophobic environment. I'm personally bi (so most people just take me as straight). Yet, I have homosexual friends with whom I'm very close, ...
11
votes
4answers
3k views

How to tell a coworker to dress more appropriately for the office

One of my co-workers transitioned a year ago and she's really happy to be a woman, to finally being herself. However, she's putting too short skirt and short... I know that she's going through a ...
21
votes
6answers
7k views

How to get a close relative to stop disrespecting LGBT people in random conversations without starting any argument/fight?

I have a close immediate relative who has a habit of making derogatory/sarcastic/rude remark about LGBT people. He doesn't say this to their face but behind their back or makes remarks about LGBT ...