Questions tagged [neighbors]

Use this tag for questions where the primary interactions are between neighbors. Common scenarios involve setting boundaries and resolving conflicts.

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85
votes
6answers
25k views

How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything?

I have recently purchased a new home and have moved into a neighborhood. I would like to introduce myself to my immediate neighbors and offer them my telephone number in case there is an emergency or ...
84
votes
10answers
26k views

I offered to help neighbor, how to discuss compensation?

I saw my neighbor post on social media that they wanted help with some computer related tasks. We have never met or had any interaction before. I offered to come help them for no compensation. They ...
83
votes
14answers
38k views

How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?

We recently moved into a new neighborhood, as did our neighbor, Jane. I have two young girls (4 and 5), and Jane has a boy and girl (7 I think?). My kids love to play with them, and her kids seem to ...
74
votes
7answers
36k views

Uncomfortable With Neighbor Mowing Our Lawn

A couple of days ago we looked out our window and saw that our next-door neighbor was mowing our lawn. We have noticed her lack of interpersonal boundaries on several occasions since we moved in a ...
66
votes
12answers
20k views

How to try to get my neighbour to park their car in their assigned spot?

Situation I live in an allotment with a shared parking with assigned spots. One of my neighbours always parks their car in front of the door of my building instead of in their assigned spot. They ...
52
votes
5answers
12k views

Co-tenants set up an inflatable pool outside my window. It's now breeding bugs. What can I do?

A few weeks ago, I moved into a single-person house across from a larger four-person house on the same property. We are all college students in a college town, in the US. If it matters, I'm two grades ...
47
votes
5answers
9k views

How to address awful smells from the flat above [closed]

Apologies for the large amount of run-up; the context feels very relevant: My wife and I live in a 1930s block of flats in London. We are on the ground floor, of a staircase of 8 flats, so we're at ...
46
votes
12answers
13k views

How can I try to have my mom help me understand why she won't accept a sincere apology?

Background: About 8 years ago, we started having some serious trouble with a couple of neighbors (which slowly escalated to call-the-cops and get-a-lawyer kind of trouble). There was some property ...
45
votes
10answers
12k views

Do we need good fences to make good neighbors?

My suburban neighborhood has about 80% dog ownership, but most dog owners don't have fences. I don't either. My across-the-street neighbor "Abby" and I have been becoming friends. It started over a ...
38
votes
3answers
16k views

How do I get my neighbour to stop disturbing with loud music?

I live in an apartment, and my neighbour who is retired, lives by himself, and partially deaf likes to play loud music most days per week (morning or evening). This completely stresses me out, and can’...
34
votes
2answers
8k views

How to ask if I can mow my neighbor's lawn

My neighbor and I share a lawn. It isn't clear where the property line is without looking it up in an official resource since there are no physical barriers between us. His house is quite a bit nicer ...
31
votes
3answers
7k views

Etiquette regarding borrowing of power tools

Based on television shows, it seems borrowing tools from neighbors is a potential minefield. I need to power wash my front and back porches and the siding of my house. My neighbor has a power washer ...
27
votes
5answers
6k views

How to introduce myself and my family to a new neighborhood?

In a few weeks, my family and I will be moving into our new house. I would like to have good relationships with my new neighbor, but I can't figure what is commonly accepted today for such ...
27
votes
2answers
9k views

How to politely approach my neighbours about their excessively screaming child?

Context My neighbours have a child who is around 3 to 4 years old. The walls in my house are really thin, we can hear most things. Which is completely normal in an old terraced British house, but he ...
26
votes
6answers
15k views

How can I convince my neighbour to stop feeding my cat (I've already asked twice)?

I'm living in my apartment for 4 years with my cat and my girlfriend. I have a balcony and since I do I put my cat's litter in there, and I have always left the door to the balcony open so that my ...
21
votes
3answers
4k views

How to avoid a lengthy conversation with someone from the neighborhood I don't share interests with

I'm here on behalf of my neighbor, who we'll call Betty. She is a 40 year old woman and she has some issues dealing with one of her neighbors, also a woman, but who is 20 years old. Let's call her ...
20
votes
5answers
10k views

How can I get my neighbour's children to take care not to scratch my car?

We have just got a new car on a lease, so are liable for any repairs that go above and beyond the usual wear and tear. I noticed two deep big scratches within the first week. After the first scratch, ...
20
votes
3answers
7k views

How can we ask neighbours to be more quiet without escalating?

We are living in an apartment, so obviously there are a lot of 'living' noises surrounding us. Even though we don't mind the regular noises (someone listening to his music a little louder, someone ...
20
votes
1answer
20k views

How do I deal with a neighbor who stopped talking to me?

I recently moved from 20 years in an isolated location (no neighbors in sight) to a suburban neighborhood (we can all easily see into each other's windows.) This alone made me anxious; meeting and ...
17
votes
2answers
3k views

How to address rude behavior by unknown neighbor?

I live on the first level of an apartment building. There are two levels above me and the building is laid out such that when my car is parked in my space (in front of my garage) it is below the ...
16
votes
5answers
8k views

How to ask a neighbor if I can replace our shared fence?

I recently moved into an older home with fences between my home and my neighbor's home. Based the way the fences are constructed, I believe that they are owned by the neighbors and not myself. One of ...
15
votes
6answers
125k views

How can I get my upstairs neighbors to stop stomping on my ceiling?

I've read about asking neighbors to be more quiet but none of the answers help my situation. I live in an older apartment building and my neighbor(s) upstairs tread very heavily when walking on their ...
15
votes
2answers
501 views

How can I offer to take care of the dog of a stranger when he/she is not home?

I live in an apartment building and I can often hear a dog whining in the apartment above mine, presumably because the owner is not home. The noise is only a slight bother, I more so feel bad for the ...
14
votes
10answers
9k views

What’s the best way to decline sharing my WiFi network with neighbours?

Occasionally when we have friends who are neighbours over to visit we are asked for access to our wifi so their kids can watch videos on their phone or whatever. Since neighbours are very close to ...
13
votes
5answers
4k views

How can I extend an olive branch, but also reinforce that another's behavior is not okay?

Some background: I started a wood working hobby a few months ago of which the loudest tools are my stereo, a table saw, and a router. I've had some passive interest from neighbors as they drive by, ...
13
votes
2answers
3k views

How can we get a landscaper to stop blowing leaves into our yard?

My parents live on a somewhat busy but narrow two-lane road. Across the street from them lives an old couple whom we're on good terms with; in the past, they've helped us out with things, and we've ...
13
votes
2answers
2k views

My dog and I offended a new neighbor. How do we make it right?

Things are hopping in the neighborhood with new neighbors and new problems. Some are hard to believe. With three dogs, the youngest (6 months old) with reactivity issues (which usually show up at ...
10
votes
1answer
2k views

Neighbor unhappy with the fact I asked his kids to return our toys

My neighbour came over yesterday and addressed me in a rather aggressive tone, he complained that 'kids will be kids' and that 'my bins shouldn't be where they are'. He has never mentioned the bins ...
10
votes
2answers
3k views

How to establish boundaries with a neighbour who breaches basic privacy?

We have a neighbour about a minute walk from our place. Our kids go to the same school/kindergarten, so we are looking forward to a very long relationship. The problem is that she is extremely nosy ...
9
votes
1answer
778 views

How to gently ask my neighbor not to use my bins for their waste?

In the past months, there were several occasions when I found foreign waste in my personal bins. I cannot say, that was my neighbor for sure as I never saw anyone. But the waste type and content made ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How can I diplomatically ask my neighbor to move his/her patio off my garage wall to stop damp

I have just moved in to a new (to me. 6 years old) house and have yet to meet the neighbors. I have since noticed my inside garage wall was damp. Inspecting outside the dampness was caused by the ...
9
votes
3answers
3k views

How to communicate with neighbour with banging door without making her uncomfortable

I live in Australia in a block of flats. We are the middle flat of three. Each flat has a front and back balcony. Due to the nature of the flats the back doors will bang in the wind if not secured - ...
9
votes
4answers
1k views

How to persuade elderly neighbors to reconsider staying North this winter?

For many years, we have shared a 500-foot long driveway with people, whom I will call ON. ON, who are now 87 and 97, have been going South every fall and winter for nearly 15 years. This year, for (...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I deal with persistent and ill-behaved neighborhood children who are always coming over?

There are some neighborhood kids (3 to 4 children, ages 5-8) who are apparently bored after school and roam the block looking for people and things to play with. They recently found my home as my ...
9
votes
2answers
1k views

Neighbor is responsible for additional costs to construction of our house; how to convince them to pay?

Situation My girlfriend and I are in the process of building a house to start a family. We have hired a contractor that will arrange everything from start to finish to deliver a habitable house. The ...
9
votes
1answer
832 views

Giving feedback to someone behaving impolitely

I live in an urban area where there are not enough parking spaces for all the apartments, so residents need to use street parking. Street parking space is scarce and coveted. There's a guy on our ...
8
votes
1answer
1k views

How to talk to my landlord about a playmate of his daughter stressing me?

Background So I am living in a 3 party house, which was a generation house before 1 flat got free like 2 years ago and I moved in half a year ago (Might be relevant). My landlord and his wife live in ...
8
votes
1answer
781 views

Discussing my noisy pet with the neighbors

My SO and I moved into a duplex house a few weeks ago. This past weekend we got a new pet, Finley. When Finley doesn't like something we're doing, he'll scream. Loud. It's actually rather ear-...
8
votes
2answers
775 views

How to respond when person falsely claims I kicked their dog?

Back story I went on a short walk after getting home from work today and there was a small dog left unattended on a grassy area. The dog started barking at me and ran up to me. I stomped my foot to ...
7
votes
3answers
1k views

How to tell my neighbour's child to stop throwing things at our window?

My neighbour's child, who is around 5 or 6 years old, loves to cause trouble. I have talked to our neighbours countless times to please watch their child, but they always get offended. Their child is ...
6
votes
2answers
2k views

How to politely inform university accommodation housekeeping that their morning chats are waking me up?

EDIT: I fear I've come across quite poorly. I get on well with these particular cleaners and none of the below is meant as a demand, but rather a favour. There are places to sit and talk just 5m down ...
6
votes
2answers
2k views

My neighbour threatened to kill my cat. How to apologize and make sure he doesn't hurt my pets?

My old cat goes into the yard with me while I water (I don't leave him outside otherwise). Apparently he has managed to scale a 6ft fence and go into the neighbours yard, because I had a fairly ...
5
votes
2answers
461 views

How to ask my neighbor who joined my sport club to play with other beginners?

I have been playing badminton doubles in a club for 2 years. I always play a good game and give a tough time to the players who were playing against me. In total we are 15 players in the club. We all ...
4
votes
4answers
988 views

How to deal with neighbors making accusations but won't hear me out?

I recently received an angry knock on my door from a neighbor (renters) falsely accusing me of throwing an old newspaper into their front yard. I offered to pull my newspapers from the trash to prove ...
4
votes
1answer
294 views

Turning down a request for help

I have a neighbor who volunteered to do a task to benefit the neighborhood. The task is laborious, and I publicly thanked her for volunteering. Now she tells me she can't do it because "she can't ...
4
votes
1answer
571 views

How should I talk to my neighbors about using leaf blowers? [closed]

I live in an area with huge oak trees, so leaf blowers are a real labor saving device when used in the fall (i.e. leaf raking season). I don't have any issues when the blowers are used to move leaves ...
4
votes
1answer
305 views

How to resolve a conflict with a noisy neighbor and a passive landlord?

(This is mostly a copy of a question I asked over at Law.SE. I'm reposting it here following the advice of a commenter to look for solutions with a more interpersonal appraoch.) I have a friend who ...
4
votes
2answers
873 views

My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering

This woman bought the duplex we rent a couple months ago. We live in the upper, she lives in the lower. She and her girlfriend seem to sleep in the room directly below mine and I can often hear them ...
4
votes
0answers
498 views

How to ask the reason of sudden unfriendliness of neighbours? [closed]

I recently moved to a new neighborhood where the houses are all pretty close. The neighbors were all pretty friendly at first, even helping with yard work, but suddenly became very standoffish. They ...
4
votes
0answers
694 views

How to start the conversation with my neighbor [closed]

I'm a boy in my twenties and I'm living in my parent's house in the north of France. For more than one year we have new neighbors. Their daughter (who is about my age) is beautiful and I want to get ...