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Questions tagged [netherlands]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the Netherlands or Dutch culture.

6
votes
4answers
897 views

How to keep an interesting conversation going when there's a dog present at family gatherings?

I try to pay a regular visit my grandparents once a week, and on special occasions like their birthdays. Most of these visits coincide with my aunt, uncle and cousins being there as well. They also ...
12
votes
2answers
554 views

How to persuade a coworker we both need to do our own work?

I recently started on a new team, with a single fellow developer. Under the motto of 'getting her up to speed as quick as possible', my co-worker has spent the past week sitting at my desk (open ...
3
votes
0answers
322 views

Dealing with unintentionally racist/offensive behavior of new country [closed]

I'm American, considering taking a job in the Netherlands. My research into living into the Netherlands has predominantly been great, except for one very worrisome thing. Zwarte Piet. I was looking at ...
15
votes
4answers
3k views

How to communicate with a coworker who repeats meaningless context? [closed]

Background I work in a technical role in an international environment, and have (and prefer) a very direct communication style. If you want my help, the best way to get it is to simply state your ...
9
votes
2answers
1k views

I have suggested my friend's toddler has down syndrome. How can I explain myself or apologies to her?

Background We were at a party for a mutual friend and as we were standing in a circle, talking to each other, she started talking about her kids' field trip. I was semi listening, semi listening to ...
2
votes
1answer
719 views

How do I interpret this situation my crush has given me? [closed]

Please reword if necessary My crush (same one as in one of my other questions) is now a good friend of mine. She certainly does like me as a friend, and I want to remain as her friend but I also have ...
72
votes
5answers
14k views

Offering to share my umbrella without sounding creepy

Yesterday afternoon I (male, late 30) went to the supermarket in my neighborhood to buy something. Since the sky was menacing rain, I took along an umbrella. Lucky me, when I got out from the ...
76
votes
10answers
26k views

Friend keeps making jokes about my ethnicity which are not funny

My parents are from India, but I was born and raised in the Netherlands (which is where I still live). I am in university and a friend keeps making jokes about the fact that I am of Indian descent. ...
8
votes
5answers
723 views

How to set and enforce a divergent personal boundary for a single problematic person in an online group of people?

Background I have been playing an online mobile phone game for about 3 years now. The game is about building a castle, an army, and you go and attack either other players or computer generated ...
88
votes
17answers
22k views

How to handle people blocking your view and breaking the rules at the theater by not sitting in their assigned seats?

A while ago, my parents/brothers and I went to visit a theatre performance (in The Netherlands, where we live). We booked really nice first class tickets with empty seats in front of us. We booked ...
8
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I ask a stranger who I'd be living with if he believes in weird things?

I'm a master student (20+) that for the last 6 months has been renting a room in an older woman's (50+) house, that is we're living in the same house (just two of us). Unfortunately, I didn't have a ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I talk with my friend about her burn out problems when I disagree with some things she says?

I have a friend, Jane, mid-twenties, who is going to get married to Joe, mid-thirties. Joe has a good job, owns a house and generally has things 'in order'. Jane had several (short, low paying) jobs ...
52
votes
5answers
10k views

How can I handle a co-worker awkwardly forcing herself into conversations?

Background: I've recently started working on a new project, in a team of around 10 people. I'm the only female on that team, but the guys are awesome and it's a great, fun group of people to work ...
108
votes
15answers
21k views

How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?

I live with my parents. My father likes to challenge nearly everything I say, up to the point of ridiculousness. I can prove many of the things he challenges but not immediately. In most cases his ...
33
votes
5answers
11k views

How to imply that the gift is meant for the two of us

The birthday of a friend is coming up. A month after that, there is a concert we both would like to see. So giving those concert tickets would be a great gift. If I just gift her two tickets, she ...
121
votes
8answers
28k views

Requesting someone to give up their seat to me on public transport if I have an invisible disability?

I have an invisible disability. I do not really want to disclose what it is, but I have trouble standing up on public transport for longer than a few minutes. I would like to sit down. Now, the bus/...
7
votes
4answers
1k views

How to deal with clingy mother pushing me to use social media?

I'm 20 and moved to Germany two years ago, moving out with 18 is rather uncommon in my country (Netherlands). About one year ago my mother became more and more clingy (my assumption is that she didn't ...
2
votes
5answers
612 views

How to find out whether I should stop and chat with the person that salutes me on the street? [closed]

I have just moved into a new country (Netherlands) where things are a little bit different than my home country. Now, I happen to get to meet a couple of people at my time here and naturally I bump ...
6
votes
2answers
786 views

How can I tell my parents I want to drop out of college?

Background I am a 24 year old living with my parents. I'll soon be 25. I study at a local university/college. Lately (the past few years) it has not been going well. I am considering dropping out, ...
66
votes
8answers
14k views

How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind?

My colleague recently had a disagreement with a client about the colour of two items. The client claimed both items were the same colour, while to my colleague one was red and one was green. I can ...
20
votes
9answers
4k views

Offering to ride along with women when it's dark

When growing up my brother and I where taught that, when it's night, you should offer girls/women to ride along when you are on bike or on foot to prevent unsafe situations. This wasn't saying that ...
25
votes
8answers
15k views

How do I politely ask my friend for a refund on unused rent?

TL;DR: I need ask for a refund without ruining a friendship. I needed to move out of my student apartment since I am not a student anymore. I did not want to move back in with my parents. My friend ...
33
votes
6answers
9k views

How can I stop acquaintances from reposting my photos on social media without credit to me?

Background I'm a amateur photographer, often volunteering at events. I befriend other volunteers and visitors to these events on Facebook. I would often take pictures of everyone, the volunteers, ...
19
votes
6answers
5k views

How to non-verbally communicate that I am listening?

I recently got some feedback that people have the impression that when they talk to me, I am not listening. Usually, when starting a conversation with people, I acknowledge them with something like '...
22
votes
8answers
10k views

How can I best let my once-close friend know that I think our friendship is over--if at all? [closed]

My once-closest friend and I have seriously drifted apart. It's come as far as that I do not want to invest any more energy in the friendship and I'd prefer it to just quietly end. I am unsure, ...
6
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I help my father understand our dog's needs?

Our family dog is a very cheerful border collie. She's great with people, kids too, but not with other dogs. She is scared of them. We got her when she was a year old and she never learned to walk on ...
38
votes
15answers
6k views

How to find out how my father would like us to decide for him with regard to medical treatment?

So, this weekend my mom and dad both signed some official paperwork, which my dad handed to me with a 'read it carefully please'. The paperwork gives me and my brothers the power to make decisions for ...
79
votes
15answers
22k views

How do I stress that having children is not an option when picking a date?

I have had some issues that have convinced me that I will never try and have/raise kids (either my own or those of someone else). This, however, leads to some serious problems when dating/having a ...
35
votes
9answers
14k views

How to tell someone they're not welcome at an event you organise

So I am taking part in organising an event for around 100 people. This is a leisure event. It is not work-related. These are events that take place three times a year, lasting from Friday to Sunday. ...
42
votes
16answers
13k views

Is it socially acceptable to dismiss a compliment?

Sometimes I get compliments like: "good job on making that website" or that I look nice or something. I often say that much more people look better or I could have done the site better, or even saying ...
44
votes
12answers
12k views

How can I try to have my mom help me understand why she won't accept a sincere apology?

Background: About 8 years ago, we started having some serious trouble with a couple of neighbors (which slowly escalated to call-the-cops and get-a-lawyer kind of trouble). There was some property ...
54
votes
9answers
11k views

How can I express my concerns about my underage brother drinking alcoholic beverages to him without sounding like I'm his mom?

So, recently my youngest brother (he's 16, I'm 26) had a party of a classmate. Mom and dad did allow him to go, and he did just fine. He lived by the rules, he sent a message when he arrived safely ...
18
votes
7answers
7k views

How to avoid having a snorer share your dormroom?

So every few months I go away for a weekend with a large group (100 people give or take). We generally sleep in a camphouse, which has dorm-like accomodation with a few bunkbeds per room. There are a ...
15
votes
3answers
4k views

How can we ask neighbours to be more quiet without escalating?

We are living in an apartment, so obviously there are a lot of 'living' noises surrounding us. Even though we don't mind the regular noises (someone listening to his music a little louder, someone ...
31
votes
14answers
10k views

Going to a strip club for a friend's bachelor party. Is it common practice to inform my girlfriend? [closed]

One of my friends I know from college is getting married next year. As tradition dictates, a bachelor party is being organised and I have been invited as well. Two people are in charge of planning the ...
59
votes
5answers
15k views

Which pitfalls should I watch out for when meeting my half-brother who hasn't been aware of my existence for 25 years?

I've been adopted at early age and have no recollection of my biological parents. My adoptive parents have told me at a young age that I was adopted. Because this fact became integrated into my life ...
-1
votes
2answers
246 views

Do I need to go to a family member's birthday, when they never come to my birthday [closed]

I have a pretty close family on both sides (mother's and father's), but there are 4 family members (who are living together (aunt, uncle and 2 cousins (girl and boy)) who are never going to anyone's ...
15
votes
5answers
2k views

Do I need to force myself into social interactions [closed]

I am 18 year old male, and I have PDDNOS (a form of autism). I don't feel comfortable with most social interactions around strangers. I am struggling with the choice of forcing myself in social ...
124
votes
18answers
36k views

How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding?

My parents are away from home for little private holidays on a quite regular basis (once every 2/3 months), where they leave me home alone with my 2 brothers for 2-5 days. I'm a 26-year-old female, my ...
37
votes
9answers
8k views

How to join in when people are gossiping?

I have been struggling with this for quite a while now. Sometimes, I have to interact with people whom I did not choose as friends (read: family and neighbors). After the last event (a neighborhood ...
29
votes
6answers
8k views

How to open up to someone about loving them, when you don't know if they love you back?

I feel attracted to someone. I did have a relationship with her before (we were little children at that time, 5-7 years old), but we couldn't continue because of age and distance. We are both ...
72
votes
9answers
15k views

How to redirect a real-life help vampire to an alternate source of food… um… assistance?

I've recently had some troubles with a help-vampire in the office. She's about my age (late twenties), from India and she doesn't speak Dutch. She works in the same office as me, but not on the same ...
30
votes
11answers
4k views

Ask for support with weight loss, without sounding tedious

My question is sort-of related to this one but has the roles reversed. I've been overweight for at least 10 years, and obese for approximately 6. Last February, I decided to better my life. I've ...
20
votes
9answers
5k views

How do I decline contact with a previous buyer?

I recently sold my first car to someone. The sale went very fast, they test drove it, looked at it and signed over the car. This was about 3 weeks ago. All of a sudden I get a text message 'Can you ...
24
votes
4answers
8k views

Received a large monetary gift from an estranged grandparent - now what?

This afternoon my parents visited me. It was all pretty normal until just before they left, they told me that my estranged grandfather apparently suddenly felt the need to donate a large gift of money ...
77
votes
8answers
21k views

Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence

Background I have a group of friends, and we've known each other for about 7 years now. We once all were colleagues. One of these friends, Alice, has an autism spectrum disorder. This friend got ...
38
votes
9answers
4k views

Appropriate ways to dismiss street vendors?

In the Netherlands, it seems to be quite common lately to hire some students, put them on a busy main street or outside a supermarket, and have them target every passerby by asking 'Can I ask you ...
10
votes
4answers
896 views

Appropriate reactions to people who recently lost their pet?

I've only had this happen twice, but this morning my mom will be going to the vet to have my brother's pet rabbit put to death, because it is ill. For me, a pet is just a pet, and nothing more. It is ...
0
votes
4answers
2k views

How to handle someone's getting angry over things I have no obligation to? [closed]

A continuation from Should I help pay for a traffic ticket someone got while helping me?. Despite what people answer in that thread "You are not obliged to pay the ticket", there's a chance he will ...
26
votes
7answers
7k views

Should I help pay for a traffic ticket someone got while helping me? [closed]

A couple of weeks ago, my brother-in-law helped me by transporting a piece of furniture in his car, as my car was too small. On our way home, with me following him in my own car, he ran a red light (...