Questions tagged [politeness]

Questions where acting with consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is important. Include other tags for cultural context! For questions regarding someone else being rude, use the "rudeness" tag instead.

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2
votes
2answers
526 views

Figuring out interesting questions in friendly or romantic conversations

How can I figure out which questions are interesting and will be pleasant for the person to whom they are addressed to answer? I am a person who has an extreme problem conveying what he wants to ...
6
votes
2answers
407 views

How to politely reject classmates that are constantly asking for my help? [duplicate]

I am in a situation where I am overwhelmed by school mates constantly asking for my help for their assignments and tests. (They have been doing this since grade 10!) And this has resulted in serious ...
11
votes
3answers
1k views

Refusing to let people in

I work in a facility where it is open to the public except for a small section. I work in this section and this section requires an access card when entering the door (anyone can buy one, but it is ...
3
votes
1answer
569 views

How to ask potential wedding photographer about low number of reviews

My fiance and I are looking at wedding photographers. She found one she says is perfect (matches our budget and preferred style). We talked with him over the phone yesterday and he seemed like a great ...
0
votes
1answer
240 views

How can I ask for recommendations from an acquaintance?

I used to live in city X, and I have an acquaintance Y back then that I have not contacted since I left X. I recently moved back to X (after 6 years) and have some problems at home where I will need ...
2
votes
1answer
660 views

How to tell our mutual friend that we wouldn't like to spend one of our days with her on our four day trip

Background I am in a relationship with this girl who came to do her master's degree to my university for one year. We met in the Russian society and hence have mutual acquaintances from there. Since ...
1
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0answers
232 views

Avoiding blame on single person

I have a group assignment that is due soon. We are only allowed one submission per group (and further submissions, even before the deadline, will be penalized). This group assignment is worth a ...
5
votes
1answer
441 views

How to politely tell someone to clean their nose? [duplicate]

Today at work one of me colleagues was talking to me but I had no concentration on what she was saying because there was something on her nose and I was thinking about "how am I supposed to tell her?" ...
4
votes
1answer
561 views

How to identify and approach persons of low income with the aim to help [closed]

I apologize in advance if this seems distasteful in any way, I'm genuinely trying to be helpful. I live in a low income area in the UK, however I am fairly comfortable financially. It pains me ...
1
vote
0answers
111 views

How to avoid telling people about my job? [duplicate]

New people who I meet always ask what I do for work. This question is normal and polite to ask, but I don't always want to tell people what I do for the following reasons: My job is unusual, which ...
4
votes
1answer
633 views

How to non-rudely exit or change the subject of a conversation where someone is wittering

Sometimes I find myself on the receiving end of what I call "wittering," or for lack of a better term verbal diarrhea. This is essentially where someone will start talking at length, often without ...
9
votes
1answer
740 views

When offering a ride through a ride-share app, how to politely assign obese people to the front seat?

I use a rideshare app when travelling between cities, which I often do. This saves money and is often very fun. People evaluate you as a driver, and it is important to keep a good score. I let 3 ...
1
vote
0answers
257 views

When is it ok to put pictures of other people on social media? [closed]

If you're in a photo with someone, when is it ok to put it on Facebook? Should you always ask first? I asked my friend to send me pictures he took of us. Instead of posting them publicly he messaged ...
2
votes
1answer
398 views

How to respond to a friend who wants to share her poetry? [closed]

I have a certain friend who appears to be enjoying writing, particularly poetry. Unfortunately, I do not appreciate the poetry she writes. Her poetry often reads like the inner voice of a person ...
7
votes
1answer
564 views

How to politely decline a personal service without offending the servicer?

Background I am blind. I work as a software developer in a company. I hate all kinds of gatherings. If I have a choice, I would spend my time alone with a computer. Situation I was attending my ...
2
votes
1answer
279 views

How to do you politely tell somebody to stop interrupting a conversation? [closed]

Participants: person A was telling a story; person B (me) asked a follow-up question while person A was talking (telling the story); person C (a friend) aggressively told me to stop interrupting. ...
11
votes
2answers
942 views

How to politely ask for a price for a commision, when I only intend to ask?

I wanted to ask for a price for a commission from an artist. However, my budget is lower than what I think the commission would be worth, hence I intend to only ask for the price and not buy the ...
3
votes
2answers
874 views

How to (politelly) tell a martial arts instructor that I am interested only in part of his curriculum?

I am increasingly under the impression that martial arts classes are really tough places when it comes to practicing Interpersonal Skills. I have failed miserably once and already more or less given ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

How to tactfully tell a martial arts instructor that I was freaked out by his lack of action?

The other day I joined a martial art/combat sport class. Apart from the many positive aspects of the experience, there was unfortunately one thing that really freaked me out. When the sparring session ...
6
votes
3answers
882 views

How to ask people not to push in front of me at concerts?

I have some experience with concerts (mostly heavy-metal ones, but pretty sure it's the same for any genre). And every time some people try get to the front rows either by just walking as they have a ...
9
votes
1answer
765 views

How to gently ask my neighbor not to use my bins for their waste?

In the past months, there were several occasions when I found foreign waste in my personal bins. I cannot say, that was my neighbor for sure as I never saw anyone. But the waste type and content made ...
2
votes
2answers
475 views

Etiquette about crossing a door when someone also wants to cross from the opposite side?

Let's take the following situation: I'm on the outside and want to go inside Someone is inside and want to go outside The door is open (one of us is holding it) There isn't enough room for both of ...
20
votes
3answers
5k views

How to ask someone about something without accusing them [closed]

I would like to know how to ask someone about something without accusing them. If I want to know if someone at work has used my computer, can I ask "Have you used my computer?", without insulting ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

How do you deal with someone who is nosy, projects their feelings about career, and gives unsolicited advice in that area?

A friend of a friend has on multiple occasions aggressively asked how my self-study for software engineering interviews is going. Most recently I answered very briefly, because I find it too nosy and ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I handle someone railroading conversations?

So I have a few fairly new friends. Most are very quiet and shy except for one person who is super confident, friendly and LOUD... lets call her Lucy. The other day the 6 of us had a barbecue where ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How to explain to roommate from India if I'm with a guest it's not a good time to discuss roommate issues?

I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She ...
7
votes
5answers
927 views

Do I need to keep on asking my coworker if I can lower the window blinds (in a German company)

I am doing my internship at a German company (while being a student from the Netherlands) and my German skills are limited. On sunny days, I get blinded by the sun and want to lower the window blinds. ...
46
votes
11answers
17k views

How to avoid answering “what were you sick with”?

I have been on "sick leave" for a little more than a week due to mental health issues. I'm now back to work and my coworkers are asking "did you have the flu?" or other questions like that. I know ...
3
votes
0answers
342 views

How to politely decline an invitation to a dinner from a colleague? [closed]

TL;DR: A colleague invited me and my wife to a dinner and we don't want to go. How to politely decline? More background: I have a colleague that sometime works on the same project as I do. When he ...
3
votes
1answer
694 views

How and why to be politically correct? [closed]

Comming from the 2nd/3rd world and living in the 1st now, I often have the problem of speaking in a way counted often as politically incorrect. Political correctness intends to avoid offense or ...
0
votes
3answers
722 views

How can I find out how many photos I should take If I'm given a film camera to take a picture?

On occasion, when I go to tourist hotspots, people sometimes give me their cameras and ask me to take pictures of them. Most of the time, those are digital camera (e.g. smartphones), and it makes ...
26
votes
4answers
5k views

How many photos should I take If I'm given a camera to take a picture?

I live in a fairly touristic place and get asked to take pictures of strangers a lot. When I do this, I get a little bit self-conscious thinking if they are saying to themselves "this dude is taking ...
40
votes
4answers
6k views

Showing a homeless person that you care about their well-being

Every day, when I go to work, I pass by a homeless person. At first, I just waved hello to them, but now I shake hands with them and, when doing that, they will start asking me questions (like "how ...
2
votes
2answers
557 views

How to make sure to get non-alcoholic beer at a bar? [closed]

Sometimes I have to drive by car after going to a bar. Hence at these times I don't want to drink alcohol (even though driving after drinking a modest amount of alcohol is allowed where I live, I don'...
51
votes
4answers
22k views

How do I get my boyfriend to remove pictures of his ex girlfriend hanging in his apartment?

Background Information: We have been together for 2.5 years. We do not live together, but visit each others apartments around 5 times a week. He is in his early 30s and I am in my mid 20s. We live in ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

How to inform a friend about my will of ending the relationship?

I'm in my mid 20s and I've been friends for 20 years with this person with whom I practically grew up. We were in the same middle school, played together almost every single day after school, same ...
80
votes
9answers
22k views

How do I stop making people jump at home and at work?

I make a lot of people jump when I enter the room or try to get their attention. I am not sure what exactly I am doing wrong, but I would like to stop it so I am looking for suggestions. I have had a ...
1
vote
2answers
314 views

Is there a polite/tactful way to ask someone to leave your house after they come round for dinner? [duplicate]

I sometimes have friends over for dinner. I am an introvert & after they've been here for about 2-3 hours I wish for them to leave so I can relax a little before bed alone. Is there a polite way I ...
6
votes
1answer
495 views

How do you politely respond to people who ask too many obvious questions?

I really like helping people and I don't mind helping others with work and assignments etc. However, there are a few people who will take it very far and I've come across this a few times. For ...
8
votes
1answer
426 views

How to join an ongoing conversation without being rude?

I'm an introvert and sometimes when people are having conversations I usually tend to not engage. However, currently , I wanted to change my behavior, to be more social and engaging. And not to be ...
0
votes
1answer
424 views

How to politely ask for verification delay?

I've worked in a market. Suddenly they stopped my work for verification purpose. They requested me to provide a student ID card. I've sent a scanned copy of my Student ID card for verification. One ...
0
votes
1answer
455 views

How do I respond to my doctor's message in which she mentions she's doing voluntary work? [closed]

I WhatsApp'd my British doctor to ask for an appointment, and she responded along the lines of Thank you for your message. I'm really happy to see you but I'm doing voluntary work in [country]. I'...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

Etiquette when someone’s birthday is on the same day as the funeral of one of their loved ones

Bob’s grandmother passed away last week. Her funeral is today. It is also Bob’s birthday today. I am attending the funeral. Obviously, I offer him condolences, but do I wish him a happy birthday too? ...
8
votes
1answer
676 views

How to make aware co worker about their parking skills?

I work in a MNC (Multi national company) in a populated city where having a car is necessary for transport purposes and daily commute. Question How can I tell/make aware a coworker (who is not in ...
3
votes
0answers
252 views

Telling a friend I normally hangout with on a holiday, I don't want to this time [closed]

A national holiday is coming up :) I have a friend (call him Joe) I normally hangout with on this holiday. I also see him on a regular basis. This time I would like to hangout with a different group ...
6
votes
1answer
546 views

How do I correct someone using the incorrect plural?

I am working with / instructing a new intern who is frequently using the incorrect plural of a technical term, for example, ‘Gooses’ instead of ‘Geese’. I’m fine giving him technical instruction ...
3
votes
2answers
584 views

Tactfully telling someone that they are the reason for your anxiety

Last weekend, I was at my parent's home and my aunt, uncle and a family friend were also invited. I have some anxiety issue which means that, when there is too many people, or just people that I'm ...
10
votes
5answers
3k views

How to reply to small talk/random facts in a non-offensive way?

I've discovered that when I have a conversation with someone, I sometimes answer in a somehow offensive way. For example: Person: I just read that actor is born in town X. Me: So what? You're ...
9
votes
2answers
735 views

How to tell an acquaintance that there will be only me

A friend and I (both males) met a girl at university who is in the city as part of an exchange program. The 3 of us have been working occasionally together on university material. We get along well ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

Happy Juneteenth?

I recently learned about Juneteenth. For anyone not familiar: Juneteenth is the oldest nationally celebrated commemoration of the ending of slavery in the United States. From its Galveston, Texas ...

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