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Questions tagged [politeness]

A behaviour that is respectful and considerate of other people. To be used when consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is on the line. For question regarding someone else rudeness, use the "rudeness" tag.

1
vote
1answer
464 views

Someone else using my cooler without my permission

This might be very intuitive for someone to suggest me to ask him to put it back. But please hold on. I live in a hostel and changed room to the next room which had a cooler already (owned by my new ...
2
votes
3answers
474 views

How can I tell my wife to pay more attention to everything without sounding condescending or rude?

My wife doesn't pay attention to anything she's doing or what is happening around her. For example: she doesn't pay attention to holes, pits, and ledges when we're out and she's pushing our son's ...
8
votes
1answer
484 views

Asking friend to wait before ordering meal

A close group of girl friends and I enjoy getting together for lunch and dinners a few times a month. There are four of us, and every time we sit down and the server introduces themself to ask for our ...
9
votes
1answer
494 views

How to try to find out who stole a valuable item in a social situation?

I was recently at a friend's birthday party and at one point in the event he told everyone that an electronic gadget was missing and that no one would leave until he found it. It was an embarrassing ...
6
votes
4answers
480 views

How can I politely point out to a non-native English speaker that they have used the wrong word?

I do a lot of communication through text, often with people who are not native speakers of English. Spelling and grammar mistakes can be quite common when speaking a non-native language and when I see ...
1
vote
3answers
515 views

Asking my coworker to get to the point without being rude

Background I have a coworker with whom I communicate online (slack). When this coworker has something to tell me, they always start by saying: Hello, how are you? Then they wait for me to answer (...
1
vote
0answers
184 views

How to treat someone a meal without sounding rude? [closed]

So when I showed someone in germany a picture of local food from my country (Indonesia), he told me he'd love to try it if he visit my country. and I told him "I will show you my favorite restaurant ...
4
votes
1answer
470 views

Politely declining a request to use my railway card to get a ticket when the person has to stand in the queue

Background: I'm from India. In our railways, we have multiple ways of booking tickets, one of them being the regular way (stand in the queue) and the other, a card which lets you get your ticket ...
10
votes
1answer
820 views

How to approach a person that does not respond to me after I was potentially rude to them?

I am an 18-year-old German, I live in a small (~100 citizens) town neighboring a somewhat bigger (~2000 citizens) town. We have our own small local fire-station but we do not do regular training. To ...
2
votes
0answers
253 views

How can I take Stack Exchange answers less defensively and give answers less aggressively? [closed]

Stack Exchange sites have garnered a bit of a reputation for being harsh even though users genuinely want to help each other out. I've been told that I've been a bit hard giving answers. I've also ...
2
votes
2answers
477 views

How to cancel a nearing appointment with a friend that I forgot about?

About a month ago, a friend I haven't heard from in some years invited me for dinner. We decided on a date that worked for both of us but I forgot to add it to my personal calendar. I was not ...
1
vote
1answer
525 views

How can I stop restaurant cashiers from putting their hands on the rim of my cup?

Whenever I go out to eat at a fast food restaurant or cafeteria, I order a drink. The drink comes in a paper cup, which is located behind the counter. The cashier hands me the paper cup, holding it by ...
6
votes
2answers
394 views

How can I ask my client to send the memento which is originally addressed to me?

I work as a graphic designer on a freelance platform. Recently, one of my regular clients messaged and said he had a surprise for me. He said that the poster I designed for his play won the award for ...
4
votes
2answers
436 views

How can I tactfully point out that someone misunderstood me?

Yesterday at work I had the same misunderstanding with two different co-workers. I'm working on a website with both an English and Spanish version. I explained over Slack that I found the resource ...
8
votes
3answers
2k views

Talking to your girlfriend about her personal messages you read by chance?

While using my girlfriend's laptop I happened to see a message notification from a guy she met on holiday just before we started dating. I was working and she was sitting in front of me using her ...
5
votes
2answers
599 views

How to tell beginner pickleball player they shouldn't play?

Often a lower level pickleball player will come to a day set aside for advanced players. (Pickleball has 4 people on a court &usually played at community centers.) It seems if I am nice to them ...
3
votes
1answer
363 views

Asking an update from a friend who agreed to help me but who didn't respond me last time

I have a friend who agreed to help me on something half a year ago. Around the winter holidays, last time we chatted, I told him I was ready to implement my plan but he told me that he was upset ...
5
votes
1answer
583 views

What cultural hints to be aware of when Jewish friends are staying at our place?

Note: I considered asking this at Mi Yodeya but it is really about how to deal with people and culture, more than about Judaism as a religion. We will have Jewish friends (from the US) staying at our ...
2
votes
1answer
306 views

How do I request a different hairdresser?

When I get my hair cut I always go to the same chain location, because it's on my way home from work and convenient. I don't have a particular stylist, so I don't make an appointment and just walk in ...
2
votes
1answer
512 views

How do I talk to my girlfriend about pitching in financially when we go out? [closed]

We have been together for 6 months. We are far away. We meet on the weekends. I have been to paying, but now I think it's time to share. We also talk about living together. How can I discuss this ...
-1
votes
1answer
352 views

What is the most polite way to ask someone if they understand English?

If I'm communicating with someone online via email or on a website and they clearly do not understand English, what is the most polite way to ask them if they understand English or to ask if they ...
5
votes
4answers
963 views

How to evade request to sit somewhere uncomfortable?

Background I was invited to my friend’s flat the other day to enjoy an infrequent visit. It isn’t often I spend time with her, so this was a special occasion. Her flat isn’t exactly high-end and is ...
2
votes
3answers
387 views

How can I discuss beer without sounding like a snob?

I like beer. I like drinking it, discovering it, and I just recently started brewing it. Needless to say, one of my common topics of conversation is beer (of course there are plenty more, and beer is ...
7
votes
1answer
309 views

How can I correct text of another person during a chat without being pedant or making fun of the other person?

A written chat is not a good channel of communication for no verbal language, hence, is quite easy to make mistakes because each side might add different context to the sentences. This might cause ...
6
votes
3answers
772 views

How to refuse a hairdresser because I want someone who's cut my hair before, without being rude?

I went to have my haircut, and the first hairdresser who became available was the one I know the least, and has only cut my hair once or twice before. For context, I've lived in the area all my life ...
7
votes
1answer
841 views

How do I tell my friend that I don't want to go to her church without hurting her feelings

My friend invited me to her church and I went to the Sunday service. However, I didn't really enjoy the way the pastor communicated his ideas with us and he repeated a lot of the same things over and ...
4
votes
1answer
119 views

What should one do when occasionally meeting an acquaintance of theirs with other people being with any of you, potentially unfamiliar with others? [closed]

If you stumble upon an acquaintance, then it is normal for you to have a short conversation, or perhaps even spontaneously plan to do something together right away. But if there are people with you ...
3
votes
1answer
179 views

Etiquette of sending a “thank you” message to the host after attending a house party? [closed]

I was recently invited to my friend's house for lunch on a Sunday. We spent the afternoon together as well. I wonder if in western culture it is necessary to call up the next day and say something ...
3
votes
1answer
252 views

What is a polite way to apologize when sneezing frequently at the office? [closed]

I have allergies and I sneeze a lot (at least twice a day and could be even 20 times a day) Does etiquette demand that I say "excuse me/sorry" after every time I sneeze, given the fact that it ...
7
votes
2answers
626 views

How to react to a coworker calling themselves dumb?

First of all I want to express that I feel this question belongs in here and not in workplace because it's an interpersonal thing more than a work thing and I'd like a more general answer. So I was ...
3
votes
3answers
520 views

How to be Polite without giving wrong signals (because this happened before!)

Few years ago I was super friendly to people (in office setting), and got unwanted attention. So much so that not only I cut off that person (directly said "I am not interested"), but cut off everyone ...
2
votes
1answer
454 views

How to politely avoid a hand-shake with somebody who is infected by a flu virus?

In our daily life people often meet and greet with different styles and traditions, but mostly we do it by shaking our hands and it is quite normal around the globe. But if a person who is infected ...
0
votes
4answers
541 views

How to tell someone I won't do their work

I'm in a situation I don't really know how to handle. I'm a student at university and one of my class mates decided to study way too many things at the same time so she doesn't show up to many of ...
9
votes
5answers
627 views

Answering “how did you make this dish” questions

I love cooking. I especially enjoy making complex dishes that require days of preparation and hours over the stove. Nothing that requires a Michelin Star chef, but it does require time, patience and ...
11
votes
2answers
667 views

How to tell a friend that she is too loud when she speaks without offending?

My partner and I hang out with another couple. We share many interests, have children of the same age, and are fairly compatible in many aspects. So all is fine for spending several hours together ...
10
votes
2answers
753 views

How do I tell my friend that she is, indeed, rude?

My friend recently texted me asking if she's mean to people and/or a bully, explaining to me that people at work told her she was. Unfortunately, she has a handful of negative characteristics and a ...
9
votes
2answers
424 views

How to respond to loud people in workplace?

TL;DR: People in my academic department office like to talk loudly, and today, there was boisterous laughing, which caused me to lose concentration. How do I indicate that they need to quiet down, ...
11
votes
4answers
1k views

Roommate on my wifi

I'm living in an apartment with a roommate. When they first moved in they didn't have a router and therefore could not connect to the internet. I offered to let them connect to my wifi until they were ...
8
votes
3answers
921 views

How to avoid shaking hands?

I recently developed dyshidrosis, which makes my palms look disgusting. So I don't want to show my hands to anybody to see. People often do not looking at the hands when shaking, and this eczema ...
40
votes
12answers
13k views

How should I ask people to stop over explaining things?

Most people that I interact with on a daily/regular basis seem to need to over explain and qualify every statement. An example would be: I'm heading out shortly and your car is blocking the drive. ...
8
votes
3answers
694 views

How do I greet someone when bowing is a common greeting among the people without being disrespectful?

Muslims are only allowed to bow and prostrate to God because we consider such things acts of worship, and Islam is a very monotheistic religion. This is a problem in Japan, where bowing is considered ...
0
votes
2answers
1k views

How do you ask your father not to get angry when he sees a male teacher is teaching his child?

Dealing with a father that gets angry when a man teaches his child in additional courses I’m 18 years male. Currently, I am pursuing 12th( the final year of High school) year education and very close ...
4
votes
3answers
437 views

How to politely decline friends/colleagues trying to persuade me to join a Friday after-work event?

I’m part of a software development team and the people engagement team in our company. This week has been extremely exhausting with both of my development work and people engagement work being really ...
18
votes
5answers
11k views

How do I prevent people from repeating to others everything I say to them? [closed]

I’d like to know how I can make people stop telling others every single thing I tell them. Here’s a dialog between me and my high-school classmate, in class: Me: In case you can’t eat any more, ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How to deal with someone attempting to “push buttons” and pick fights during casual social gatherings?

So the context of this question is as follows: I attended a friend’s art opening a week or so ago. It was a pleasant, low key affair and a few of the people in attendance tangentially were connected ...
3
votes
2answers
381 views

How can I explain a phobia when travelling to a non-English speaking country?

I considered putting this question into the Travel stackexchange but this issue feels like it's more to do with interpersonal skills and communication than actually travelling. I'm happy for it to be ...
2
votes
1answer
384 views

How to point out a loved one's posture at the computer?

I regularly notice a loved one's bad posture while they are using their computer. It's at the point where I am concerned about the long term health of their back and spine. What would be a good way ...
75
votes
12answers
24k views

Asking a coworker to discontinue his chivalrous acts towards me?

I've made a friend, Bob, in my workplace who is too much of a gentleman for my comfort level. Initially, we became fast friends due to our shared interests and political beliefs. We often message ...
2
votes
1answer
508 views

How to politely reply to recruiter that (s)he being unprofessional

Nowadays software developers (at least in Europe) get a lot of job offers via LinkedIn. I'm always making sure I reply to recruiter in a timely fashion, thanking for getting in touch & explaining ...
5
votes
2answers
1k views

How to ask my ex if she has a dependence relationship with me?

I had a friend with benefits for almost one year who eventually became my girlfriend even though I didn't see her as so, I could say it was just by routine, we were seeing just each her and doing "...