Questions tagged [politeness]

A behaviour that is respectful and considerate of other people. To be used when consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is on the line. For question regarding someone else rudeness, use the "rudeness" tag.

0
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2answers
211 views

Tactfully telling someone that they are the reason for your anxiety

Last weekend, I was at my parent's home and my aunt, uncle and a family friend were also invited. I have some anxiety issue which means that, when there is too many people, or just people that I'm ...
9
votes
5answers
2k views

How to reply to small talk/random facts in a non-offensive way?

I've discovered that when I have a conversation with someone, I sometimes answer in a somehow offensive way. For example: Person: I just read that actor is born in town X. Me: So what? You're ...
8
votes
2answers
487 views

How to tell an acquaintance that there will be only me

A friend and I (both males) met a girl at university who is in the city as part of an exchange program. The 3 of us have been working occasionally together on university material. We get along well ...
11
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2answers
995 views

Happy Juneteenth?

I recently learned about Juneteenth. For anyone not familiar: Juneteenth is the oldest nationally celebrated commemoration of the ending of slavery in the United States. From its Galveston, Texas ...
60
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8answers
16k views

How to make clear to people I don't want to answer their “Where are you from?” question?

I live in the UK but am not originally from here, having moved in the last decade. Quite often when I talk to people I get asked where I'm from. It usually seems to be in response to my accent, as I'...
10
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2answers
675 views

How should I address a person who offers a choice of personal pronouns

I've recently seen a number of people who, when listing their personal pronouns, appear to be offering a choice. In particular, I have seen folks say "she" or "they" In situations where asking ...
9
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2answers
696 views

How to interact with a person asking for change without giving them false hope?

I live in a big city with a lot of homeless people. When I'm on the subway, I will often see them going around asking for money, food or "just a smile." I know these people--like anyone--probably don'...
-1
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1answer
318 views

Why is it considered rude to burp in public? [closed]

Why is it considered rude to burp in public? It's largely involuntary and better for one's health than holding all that gas in.
3
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2answers
468 views

When sitting, how to non-verbally communicate that someone is invading your personal space?

I don't like it when people are physically too close to me. When standing, this isn't a problem since I can move a little and distance myself from the person being too close to me. However, when ...
1
vote
1answer
554 views

Someone else using my cooler without my permission

This might be very intuitive for someone to suggest me to ask him to put it back. But please hold on. I live in a hostel and changed room to the next room which had a cooler already (owned by my new ...
2
votes
3answers
549 views

How can I tell my wife to pay more attention to everything without sounding condescending or rude?

My wife doesn't pay attention to anything she's doing or what is happening around her. For example: she doesn't pay attention to holes, pits, and ledges when we're out and she's pushing our son's ...
8
votes
1answer
536 views

Asking friend to wait before ordering meal

A close group of girl friends and I enjoy getting together for lunch and dinners a few times a month. There are four of us, and every time we sit down and the server introduces themself to ask for our ...
9
votes
1answer
612 views

How to try to find out who stole a valuable item in a social situation?

I was recently at a friend's birthday party and at one point in the event he told everyone that an electronic gadget was missing and that no one would leave until he found it. It was an embarrassing ...
6
votes
4answers
542 views

How can I politely point out to a non-native English speaker that they have used the wrong word?

I do a lot of communication through text, often with people who are not native speakers of English. Spelling and grammar mistakes can be quite common when speaking a non-native language and when I see ...
1
vote
3answers
550 views

Asking my coworker to get to the point without being rude

Background I have a coworker with whom I communicate online (slack). When this coworker has something to tell me, they always start by saying: Hello, how are you? Then they wait for me to answer (...
1
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0answers
207 views

How to treat someone a meal without sounding rude? [closed]

So when I showed someone in germany a picture of local food from my country (Indonesia), he told me he'd love to try it if he visit my country. and I told him "I will show you my favorite restaurant ...
4
votes
1answer
492 views

Politely declining a request to use my railway card to get a ticket when the person has to stand in the queue

Background: I'm from India. In our railways, we have multiple ways of booking tickets, one of them being the regular way (stand in the queue) and the other, a card which lets you get your ticket ...
10
votes
1answer
852 views

How to approach a person that does not respond to me after I was potentially rude to them?

I am an 18-year-old German, I live in a small (~100 citizens) town neighboring a somewhat bigger (~2000 citizens) town. We have our own small local fire-station but we do not do regular training. To ...
2
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0answers
262 views

How can I take Stack Exchange answers less defensively and give answers less aggressively? [closed]

Stack Exchange sites have garnered a bit of a reputation for being harsh even though users genuinely want to help each other out. I've been told that I've been a bit hard giving answers. I've also ...
2
votes
2answers
489 views

How to cancel a nearing appointment with a friend that I forgot about?

About a month ago, a friend I haven't heard from in some years invited me for dinner. We decided on a date that worked for both of us but I forgot to add it to my personal calendar. I was not ...
1
vote
1answer
532 views

How can I stop restaurant cashiers from putting their hands on the rim of my cup?

Whenever I go out to eat at a fast food restaurant or cafeteria, I order a drink. The drink comes in a paper cup, which is located behind the counter. The cashier hands me the paper cup, holding it by ...
6
votes
2answers
398 views

How can I ask my client to send the memento which is originally addressed to me?

I work as a graphic designer on a freelance platform. Recently, one of my regular clients messaged and said he had a surprise for me. He said that the poster I designed for his play won the award for ...
4
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2answers
446 views

How can I tactfully point out that someone misunderstood me?

Yesterday at work I had the same misunderstanding with two different co-workers. I'm working on a website with both an English and Spanish version. I explained over Slack that I found the resource ...
8
votes
3answers
2k views

Talking to your girlfriend about her personal messages you read by chance?

While using my girlfriend's laptop I happened to see a message notification from a guy she met on holiday just before we started dating. I was working and she was sitting in front of me using her ...
5
votes
2answers
609 views

How to tell beginner pickleball player they shouldn't play?

Often a lower level pickleball player will come to a day set aside for advanced players. (Pickleball has 4 people on a court &usually played at community centers.) It seems if I am nice to them ...
3
votes
1answer
364 views

Asking an update from a friend who agreed to help me but who didn't respond me last time

I have a friend who agreed to help me on something half a year ago. Around the winter holidays, last time we chatted, I told him I was ready to implement my plan but he told me that he was upset ...
5
votes
1answer
607 views

What cultural hints to be aware of when Jewish friends are staying at our place?

Note: I considered asking this at Mi Yodeya but it is really about how to deal with people and culture, more than about Judaism as a religion. We will have Jewish friends (from the US) staying at our ...
2
votes
1answer
311 views

How do I request a different hairdresser?

When I get my hair cut I always go to the same chain location, because it's on my way home from work and convenient. I don't have a particular stylist, so I don't make an appointment and just walk in ...
2
votes
1answer
515 views

How do I talk to my girlfriend about pitching in financially when we go out? [closed]

We have been together for 6 months. We are far away. We meet on the weekends. I have been to paying, but now I think it's time to share. We also talk about living together. How can I discuss this ...
-1
votes
1answer
355 views

What is the most polite way to ask someone if they understand English?

If I'm communicating with someone online via email or on a website and they clearly do not understand English, what is the most polite way to ask them if they understand English or to ask if they ...
5
votes
4answers
981 views

How to evade request to sit somewhere uncomfortable?

Background I was invited to my friend’s flat the other day to enjoy an infrequent visit. It isn’t often I spend time with her, so this was a special occasion. Her flat isn’t exactly high-end and is ...
2
votes
3answers
483 views

How can I discuss beer without sounding like a snob?

I like beer. I like drinking it, discovering it, and I just recently started brewing it. Needless to say, one of my common topics of conversation is beer (of course there are plenty more, and beer is ...
7
votes
1answer
314 views

How can I correct text of another person during a chat without being pedant or making fun of the other person?

A written chat is not a good channel of communication for no verbal language, hence, is quite easy to make mistakes because each side might add different context to the sentences. This might cause ...
6
votes
3answers
790 views

How to refuse a hairdresser because I want someone who's cut my hair before, without being rude?

I went to have my haircut, and the first hairdresser who became available was the one I know the least, and has only cut my hair once or twice before. For context, I've lived in the area all my life ...
7
votes
1answer
847 views

How do I tell my friend that I don't want to go to her church without hurting her feelings

My friend invited me to her church and I went to the Sunday service. However, I didn't really enjoy the way the pastor communicated his ideas with us and he repeated a lot of the same things over and ...
4
votes
1answer
119 views

What should one do when occasionally meeting an acquaintance of theirs with other people being with any of you, potentially unfamiliar with others? [closed]

If you stumble upon an acquaintance, then it is normal for you to have a short conversation, or perhaps even spontaneously plan to do something together right away. But if there are people with you ...
3
votes
1answer
180 views

Etiquette of sending a “thank you” message to the host after attending a house party? [closed]

I was recently invited to my friend's house for lunch on a Sunday. We spent the afternoon together as well. I wonder if in western culture it is necessary to call up the next day and say something ...
3
votes
1answer
267 views

What is a polite way to apologize when sneezing frequently at the office? [closed]

I have allergies and I sneeze a lot (at least twice a day and could be even 20 times a day) Does etiquette demand that I say "excuse me/sorry" after every time I sneeze, given the fact that it ...
7
votes
2answers
646 views

How to react to a coworker calling themselves dumb?

First of all I want to express that I feel this question belongs in here and not in workplace because it's an interpersonal thing more than a work thing and I'd like a more general answer. So I was ...
3
votes
3answers
525 views

How to be Polite without giving wrong signals (because this happened before!)

Few years ago I was super friendly to people (in office setting), and got unwanted attention. So much so that not only I cut off that person (directly said "I am not interested"), but cut off everyone ...
2
votes
1answer
457 views

How to politely avoid a hand-shake with somebody who is infected by a flu virus?

In our daily life people often meet and greet with different styles and traditions, but mostly we do it by shaking our hands and it is quite normal around the globe. But if a person who is infected ...
0
votes
4answers
545 views

How to tell someone I won't do their work

I'm in a situation I don't really know how to handle. I'm a student at university and one of my class mates decided to study way too many things at the same time so she doesn't show up to many of ...
9
votes
5answers
693 views

Answering “how did you make this dish” questions

I love cooking. I especially enjoy making complex dishes that require days of preparation and hours over the stove. Nothing that requires a Michelin Star chef, but it does require time, patience and ...
11
votes
2answers
683 views

How to tell a friend that she is too loud when she speaks without offending?

My partner and I hang out with another couple. We share many interests, have children of the same age, and are fairly compatible in many aspects. So all is fine for spending several hours together ...
10
votes
2answers
778 views

How do I tell my friend that she is, indeed, rude?

My friend recently texted me asking if she's mean to people and/or a bully, explaining to me that people at work told her she was. Unfortunately, she has a handful of negative characteristics and a ...
9
votes
2answers
427 views

How to respond to loud people in workplace?

TL;DR: People in my academic department office like to talk loudly, and today, there was boisterous laughing, which caused me to lose concentration. How do I indicate that they need to quiet down, ...
11
votes
4answers
1k views

Roommate on my wifi

I'm living in an apartment with a roommate. When they first moved in they didn't have a router and therefore could not connect to the internet. I offered to let them connect to my wifi until they were ...
8
votes
3answers
928 views

How to avoid shaking hands?

I recently developed dyshidrosis, which makes my palms look disgusting. So I don't want to show my hands to anybody to see. People often do not looking at the hands when shaking, and this eczema ...
40
votes
12answers
14k views

How should I ask people to stop over explaining things?

Most people that I interact with on a daily/regular basis seem to need to over explain and qualify every statement. An example would be: I'm heading out shortly and your car is blocking the drive. ...
8
votes
3answers
705 views

How do I greet someone when bowing is a common greeting among the people without being disrespectful?

Muslims are only allowed to bow and prostrate to God because we consider such things acts of worship, and Islam is a very monotheistic religion. This is a problem in Japan, where bowing is considered ...