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Questions tagged [politeness]

A behaviour that is respectful and considerate of other people. To be used when consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is on the line. For question regarding someone else being rude, use the "rudeness" tag.

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3
votes
1answer
184 views

Etiquette of sending a “thank you” message to the host after attending a house party? [closed]

I was recently invited to my friend's house for lunch on a Sunday. We spent the afternoon together as well. I wonder if in western culture it is necessary to call up the next day and say something ...
3
votes
1answer
309 views

What is a polite way to apologize when sneezing frequently at the office? [closed]

I have allergies and I sneeze a lot (at least twice a day and could be even 20 times a day) Does etiquette demand that I say "excuse me/sorry" after every time I sneeze, given the fact that it ...
7
votes
2answers
795 views

How to react to a coworker calling themselves dumb?

First of all I want to express that I feel this question belongs in here and not in workplace because it's an interpersonal thing more than a work thing and I'd like a more general answer. So I was ...
3
votes
3answers
548 views

How to be Polite without giving wrong signals (because this happened before!)

Few years ago I was super friendly to people (in office setting), and got unwanted attention. So much so that not only I cut off that person (directly said "I am not interested"), but cut off everyone ...
2
votes
1answer
472 views

How to politely avoid a hand-shake with somebody who is infected by a flu virus?

In our daily life people often meet and greet with different styles and traditions, but mostly we do it by shaking our hands and it is quite normal around the globe. But if a person who is infected ...
0
votes
4answers
587 views

How to tell someone I won't do their work

I'm in a situation I don't really know how to handle. I'm a student at university and one of my class mates decided to study way too many things at the same time so she doesn't show up to many of ...
9
votes
5answers
731 views

Answering “how did you make this dish” questions

I love cooking. I especially enjoy making complex dishes that require days of preparation and hours over the stove. Nothing that requires a Michelin Star chef, but it does require time, patience and ...
11
votes
2answers
735 views

How to tell a friend that she is too loud when she speaks without offending?

My partner and I hang out with another couple. We share many interests, have children of the same age, and are fairly compatible in many aspects. So all is fine for spending several hours together ...
10
votes
2answers
829 views

How do I tell my friend that she is, indeed, rude?

My friend recently texted me asking if she's mean to people and/or a bully, explaining to me that people at work told her she was. Unfortunately, she has a handful of negative characteristics and a ...
9
votes
2answers
440 views

How to respond to loud people in workplace?

TL;DR: People in my academic department office like to talk loudly, and today, there was boisterous laughing, which caused me to lose concentration. How do I indicate that they need to quiet down, ...
11
votes
4answers
1k views

Roommate on my wifi

I'm living in an apartment with a roommate. When they first moved in they didn't have a router and therefore could not connect to the internet. I offered to let them connect to my wifi until they were ...
8
votes
3answers
951 views

How to avoid shaking hands?

I recently developed dyshidrosis, which makes my palms look disgusting. So I don't want to show my hands to anybody to see. People often do not looking at the hands when shaking, and this eczema ...
41
votes
12answers
14k views

How should I ask people to stop over explaining things?

Most people that I interact with on a daily/regular basis seem to need to over explain and qualify every statement. An example would be: I'm heading out shortly and your car is blocking the drive. ...
8
votes
3answers
738 views

How do I greet someone when bowing is a common greeting among the people without being disrespectful?

Muslims are only allowed to bow and prostrate to God because we consider such things acts of worship, and Islam is a very monotheistic religion. This is a problem in Japan, where bowing is considered ...
3
votes
2answers
2k views

How do you ask your father not to get angry when he sees a male teacher is teaching his child?

Dealing with a father that gets angry when a man teaches his child in additional courses I’m 18 years male. Currently, I am pursuing 12th( the final year of High school) year education and very close ...
4
votes
3answers
451 views

How to politely decline friends/colleagues trying to persuade me to join a Friday after-work event?

I’m part of a software development team and the people engagement team in our company. This week has been extremely exhausting with both of my development work and people engagement work being really ...
18
votes
5answers
11k views

How do I prevent people from repeating to others everything I say to them? [closed]

I’d like to know how I can make people stop telling others every single thing I tell them. Here’s a dialog between me and my high-school classmate, in class: Me: In case you can’t eat any more, ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How to deal with someone attempting to “push buttons” and pick fights during casual social gatherings?

So the context of this question is as follows: I attended a friend’s art opening a week or so ago. It was a pleasant, low key affair and a few of the people in attendance tangentially were connected ...
3
votes
2answers
456 views

How can I explain a phobia when travelling to a non-English speaking country?

I considered putting this question into the Travel stackexchange but this issue feels like it's more to do with interpersonal skills and communication than actually travelling. I'm happy for it to be ...
2
votes
1answer
388 views

How to point out a loved one's posture at the computer?

I regularly notice a loved one's bad posture while they are using their computer. It's at the point where I am concerned about the long term health of their back and spine. What would be a good way ...
73
votes
12answers
25k views

Asking a coworker to discontinue his chivalrous acts towards me?

I've made a friend, Bob, in my workplace who is too much of a gentleman for my comfort level. Initially, we became fast friends due to our shared interests and political beliefs. We often message ...
2
votes
1answer
526 views

How to politely reply to recruiter that (s)he being unprofessional

Nowadays software developers (at least in Europe) get a lot of job offers via LinkedIn. I'm always making sure I reply to recruiter in a timely fashion, thanking for getting in touch & explaining ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How to ask my ex if she has a dependence relationship with me?

I had a friend with benefits for almost one year who eventually became my girlfriend even though I didn't see her as so, I could say it was just by routine, we were seeing just each her and doing "...
40
votes
2answers
19k views

Politely ask a female friend to stop lying to me about her relationship

I have this female friend who likes hanging with me. She even comes at my place to spend some time. She's my good friend. Sometimes back, she had a heartbreak and she's been telling me she is not ...
2
votes
2answers
145 views

How to politely ask for a response?

I needed to discuss some matter with one person. The outcome of that is important for me. At the beginning of the week, I got an email where that person proposed several dates when we could have a ...
73
votes
5answers
16k views

Offering to share my umbrella without sounding creepy

Yesterday afternoon I (male, late 30) went to the supermarket in my neighborhood to buy something. Since the sky was menacing rain, I took along an umbrella. Lucky me, when I got out from the ...
5
votes
3answers
760 views

How do I tell someone I won't drive them anymore, when they have no car?

Background: To get a technical diploma I started to attend school last week again and will be there till may next year. I'm currently 22 yo and I'm generally a very agreeable person. The school is ...
2
votes
2answers
618 views

Instuctor wants me to pay for additional lessons before sign off; but didn't complete all hours of the course

I'm taking some mandatory motorcycle lessons (required before you can legally ride on the road). I've paid around $600 for these to the school the runs the course. The course (whose structure, ...
3
votes
2answers
401 views

How to respond to someone strongly resisting a specific app for group communication? [closed]

I'm in a college video game design course with a strong emphasis on group work. I'm highly invested in the outcome (I'd like to use the final game for a portfolio, if possible) so I decided to create ...
2
votes
1answer
230 views

Forgot something doctor told me during consulation [closed]

I forgot something important that the doctor I saw for a consultation told me. Would it be rude of me to email his practice and ask him to tell me again what I have forgotten? I paid a lot of money ...
4
votes
2answers
466 views

How to politely tell someone the post they shared is wrong/dangerous/bad advice? [duplicate]

There are many posts on social media that are a load of rubbish and just plain factually incorrect. They often end in “if you don’t share a fairy will die” or some such nonsense having bad luck. I ...
61
votes
15answers
39k views

How to let people know I don't appreciate being ignored in instant messaging?

When talking with people through instant messenger or texting, I find it rude when someone doesn't reply. The other day I had met up with someone I knew from school. He told me about a business idea ...
0
votes
1answer
628 views

My new neighbours have very nicely requested something that I find unreasonable, how should I proceed? [closed]

Background: We recently moved to a new neighborhood and it's rather dark at night (not many street lights). Most neighbors leave outside house lights on at night. Issue: About a month after we ...
91
votes
14answers
53k views

How to respond when a Doctor's Receptionist asks the reason for the appointment, after confirming appointment is made?

I have recently come across a situation that made me feel very uncomfortable, especially if it had been more of a personal issue. I contacted my doctor yesterday with pains in my hand/wrist as I didn'...
25
votes
3answers
9k views

How to tell a professor that I don't mind if he is busy?

Sorry this got a little long... I am self-studying a course. Two years ago I began to use some lectures by a professor from the United States (I'm from a different country). He is retired now. While ...
5
votes
5answers
772 views

How do you get someone's honest opinion about your cooking?

The flip-side to this question about being asked one's opinion on food they didn't like; What things should you keep in mind if you have cooked or are cooking a meal for family or friends, and would ...
3
votes
2answers
814 views

My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering

This woman bought the duplex we rent a couple months ago. We live in the upper, she lives in the lower. She and her girlfriend seem to sleep in the room directly below mine and I can often hear them ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I ask a stranger who I'd be living with if he believes in weird things?

I'm a master student (20+) that for the last 6 months has been renting a room in an older woman's (50+) house, that is we're living in the same house (just two of us). Unfortunately, I didn't have a ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I prevent people from touching my laptop screen with their finger?

Because of my work, I often bring my laptop with me to show stuff to other people. The problem is that a lot of people end up touching my screen to point to things on it. One developer I worked with ...
5
votes
2answers
641 views

Politely recommend budget help to a friend who owes me money?

To address duplication concerns, this belongs on IPS rather than workplace stack exchange or finance, as I would like to address the specific issue of recommending budget help, and handle this as a ...
42
votes
10answers
14k views

How to answer a technical question without sounding patronizing

Context : My girlfriend (let's call her V) and I, are programmers, and sometimes we ask each other questions when we believe the other may have an answer. A few times, she’s told me that I sounded ...
4
votes
2answers
521 views

How to ask if I can use a rewards/points card at a paid lunch?

I am meeting with a recruiter, and she is taking me to lunch (paid for by her company) at restaurant that is local to my company's location. She is unlikely to have a loyalty card at this place ...
1
vote
1answer
374 views

Disproving false beliefs of an acquaintance which may be dangerous or affect our relationships [duplicate]

There is a similar question here: How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset? My question has a different setting: I'm ...
1
vote
1answer
681 views

How can my wife have her cake if I won't eat it too? [closed]

My wife's birthday is coming up next week, and I'm looking to get her a cake - she rarely ever has gotten her very own birthday cake, and I want to get her something she will really appreciate. She ...
35
votes
5answers
8k views

How to ask my boyfriend's family if it bothers them that I'm coming along

I am in a romantic relationship with a very close friend of mine (we are both French and in the early 20s). We have been very close for years and we have been living together for a few months now. We ...
10
votes
3answers
1k views

Letting roommates know I put up with them more than they put up with me

I recently moved into a new apartment with 2 other roommates. Both of them are around 4-5 years elder to me, if not more. They do treat me as a younger colleague. I would have expected that this ...
31
votes
13answers
28k views

Is adding “let me know if anything is unclear” to an e-mail really necessary or is it redundant?

(Note that I originally asked this question on the English Language Stack Exchange and was told that it belonged here (Interpersonal Stack Exchange), so I removed it from the EL SE and manually moved ...
4
votes
0answers
367 views

Should I try to react to behind-the-back insults in my partner's minority outreach program? [closed]

Relevant identity context, I'm white, my partner can be reasonably seen to a stranger as white, and both of us are genderqueer and LGBTQ+ identifying. I work at a college in Boston, and my partner (...
19
votes
4answers
11k views

How to tell a classmate I don’t want to give him a contact for an internship?

Background I am studying mechanics at the university. Last summer, I did a great internship in an auto industry company. This internship was really rewarding, I did a useful job and I learned many ...
44
votes
12answers
23k views

How to get my wife to remember to say “please”

We've been married for over five years now, have two little kids and our relationship is as good as can be. We both value harmony very highly and thus tend to avoid an open conflict whenever possible -...