Questions tagged [politeness]

A behaviour that is respectful and considerate of other people. To be used when consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is on the line. For question regarding someone else rudeness, use the "rudeness" tag.

18
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5answers
11k views

How do I prevent people from repeating to others everything I say to them? [closed]

I’d like to know how I can make people stop telling others every single thing I tell them. Here’s a dialog between me and my high-school classmate, in class: Me: In case you can’t eat any more, ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How to deal with someone attempting to “push buttons” and pick fights during casual social gatherings?

So the context of this question is as follows: I attended a friend’s art opening a week or so ago. It was a pleasant, low key affair and a few of the people in attendance tangentially were connected ...
3
votes
2answers
386 views

How can I explain a phobia when travelling to a non-English speaking country?

I considered putting this question into the Travel stackexchange but this issue feels like it's more to do with interpersonal skills and communication than actually travelling. I'm happy for it to be ...
2
votes
1answer
387 views

How to point out a loved one's posture at the computer?

I regularly notice a loved one's bad posture while they are using their computer. It's at the point where I am concerned about the long term health of their back and spine. What would be a good way ...
74
votes
12answers
24k views

Asking a coworker to discontinue his chivalrous acts towards me?

I've made a friend, Bob, in my workplace who is too much of a gentleman for my comfort level. Initially, we became fast friends due to our shared interests and political beliefs. We often message ...
2
votes
1answer
509 views

How to politely reply to recruiter that (s)he being unprofessional

Nowadays software developers (at least in Europe) get a lot of job offers via LinkedIn. I'm always making sure I reply to recruiter in a timely fashion, thanking for getting in touch & explaining ...
5
votes
2answers
1k views

How to ask my ex if she has a dependence relationship with me?

I had a friend with benefits for almost one year who eventually became my girlfriend even though I didn't see her as so, I could say it was just by routine, we were seeing just each her and doing "...
39
votes
2answers
19k views

Politely ask a female friend to stop lying to me about her relationship

I have this female friend who likes hanging with me. She even comes at my place to spend some time. She's my good friend. Sometimes back, she had a heartbreak and she's been telling me she is not ...
2
votes
2answers
137 views

How to politely ask for a response?

I needed to discuss some matter with one person. The outcome of that is important for me. At the beginning of the week, I got an email where that person proposed several dates when we could have a ...
73
votes
5answers
15k views

Offering to share my umbrella without sounding creepy

Yesterday afternoon I (male, late 30) went to the supermarket in my neighborhood to buy something. Since the sky was menacing rain, I took along an umbrella. Lucky me, when I got out from the ...
5
votes
3answers
710 views

How do I tell someone I won't drive them anymore, when they have no car?

Background: To get a technical diploma I started to attend school last week again and will be there till may next year. I'm currently 22 yo and I'm generally a very agreeable person. The school is ...
2
votes
2answers
614 views

Instuctor wants me to pay for additional lessons before sign off; but didn't complete all hours of the course

I'm taking some mandatory motorcycle lessons (required before you can legally ride on the road). I've paid around $600 for these to the school the runs the course. The course (whose structure, ...
3
votes
2answers
389 views

How to respond to someone strongly resisting a specific app for group communication? [closed]

I'm in a college video game design course with a strong emphasis on group work. I'm highly invested in the outcome (I'd like to use the final game for a portfolio, if possible) so I decided to create ...
2
votes
1answer
227 views

Forgot something doctor told me during consulation [closed]

I forgot something important that the doctor I saw for a consultation told me. Would it be rude of me to email his practice and ask him to tell me again what I have forgotten? I paid a lot of money ...
4
votes
2answers
454 views

How to politely tell someone the post they shared is wrong/dangerous/bad advice? [duplicate]

There are many posts on social media that are a load of rubbish and just plain factually incorrect. They often end in “if you don’t share a fairy will die” or some such nonsense having bad luck. I ...
60
votes
15answers
30k views

How to let people know I don't appreciate being ignored in instant messaging?

When talking with people through instant messenger or texting, I find it rude when someone doesn't reply. The other day I had met up with someone I knew from school. He told me about a business idea ...
0
votes
1answer
567 views

My new neighbours have very nicely requested something that I find unreasonable, how should I proceed? [closed]

Background: We recently moved to a new neighborhood and it's rather dark at night (not many street lights). Most neighbors leave outside house lights on at night. Issue: About a month after we ...
90
votes
14answers
40k views

How to respond when a Doctor's Receptionist asks the reason for the appointment, after confirming appointment is made?

I have recently come across a situation that made me feel very uncomfortable, especially if it had been more of a personal issue. I contacted my doctor yesterday with pains in my hand/wrist as I didn'...
25
votes
3answers
9k views

How to tell a professor that I don't mind if he is busy?

Sorry this got a little long... I am self-studying a course. Two years ago I began to use some lectures by a professor from the United States (I'm from a different country). He is retired now. While ...
5
votes
5answers
745 views

How do you get someone's honest opinion about your cooking?

The flip-side to this question about being asked one's opinion on food they didn't like; What things should you keep in mind if you have cooked or are cooking a meal for family or friends, and would ...
3
votes
2answers
782 views

My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering

This woman bought the duplex we rent a couple months ago. We live in the upper, she lives in the lower. She and her girlfriend seem to sleep in the room directly below mine and I can often hear them ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I ask a stranger who I'd be living with if he believes in weird things?

I'm a master student (20+) that for the last 6 months has been renting a room in an older woman's (50+) house, that is we're living in the same house (just two of us). Unfortunately, I didn't have a ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I prevent people from touching my laptop screen with their finger?

Because of my work, I often bring my laptop with me to show stuff to other people. The problem is that a lot of people end up touching my screen to point to things on it. One developer I worked with ...
1
vote
1answer
232 views

How to recommend meditation to someone with anxiety? [closed]

I have a friend with anxiety and depression, let's call him "Bob". As someone who deals with anxiety as well, I found that mindfulness meditation has significantly helped me. It didn't solve all my ...
5
votes
2answers
622 views

Politely recommend budget help to a friend who owes me money?

To address duplication concerns, this belongs on IPS rather than workplace stack exchange or finance, as I would like to address the specific issue of recommending budget help, and handle this as a ...
42
votes
10answers
14k views

How to answer a technical question without sounding patronizing

Context : My girlfriend (let's call her V) and I, are programmers, and sometimes we ask each other questions when we believe the other may have an answer. A few times, she’s told me that I sounded ...
4
votes
2answers
519 views

How to ask if I can use a rewards/points card at a paid lunch?

I am meeting with a recruiter, and she is taking me to lunch (paid for by her company) at restaurant that is local to my company's location. She is unlikely to have a loyalty card at this place ...
1
vote
1answer
361 views

Disproving false beliefs of an acquaintance which may be dangerous or affect our relationships [duplicate]

There is a similar question here: How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset? My question has a different setting: I'm ...
1
vote
1answer
651 views

How can my wife have her cake if I won't eat it too? [closed]

My wife's birthday is coming up next week, and I'm looking to get her a cake - she rarely ever has gotten her very own birthday cake, and I want to get her something she will really appreciate. She ...
35
votes
5answers
7k views

How to ask my boyfriend's family if it bothers them that I'm coming along

I am in a romantic relationship with a very close friend of mine (we are both French and in the early 20s). We have been very close for years and we have been living together for a few months now. We ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

Letting roommates know I put up with them more than they put up with me

I recently moved into a new apartment with 2 other roommates. Both of them are around 4-5 years elder to me, if not more. They do treat me as a younger colleague. I would have expected that this ...
31
votes
13answers
22k views

Is adding “let me know if anything is unclear” to an e-mail really necessary or is it redundant?

(Note that I originally asked this question on the English Language Stack Exchange and was told that it belonged here (Interpersonal Stack Exchange), so I removed it from the EL SE and manually moved ...
4
votes
0answers
354 views

Should I try to react to behind-the-back insults in my partner's minority outreach program? [closed]

Relevant identity context, I'm white, my partner can be reasonably seen to a stranger as white, and both of us are genderqueer and LGBTQ+ identifying. I work at a college in Boston, and my partner (...
19
votes
4answers
11k views

How to tell a classmate I don’t want to give him a contact for an internship?

Background I am studying mechanics at the university. Last summer, I did a great internship in an auto industry company. This internship was really rewarding, I did a useful job and I learned many ...
43
votes
12answers
22k views

How to get my wife to remember to say “please”

We've been married for over five years now, have two little kids and our relationship is as good as can be. We both value harmony very highly and thus tend to avoid an open conflict whenever possible -...
-1
votes
1answer
339 views

How to respond to “I can't do anything without my morning coffee” [closed]

Frequently, when trying to make a morning tea at the office, people will say "I can't do anything without my morning coffee!" - currently I just smile, and say "Yeah, me too!". Even though I don't ...
1
vote
1answer
369 views

How to apologise for not recognising someone [closed]

Recently I was at an academic conference where I met a famous academic in my area during the banquet dinner. However, for some reason I haven't recognised the name and the physical figure of the ...
3
votes
1answer
888 views

How do I politely decline a lunch invitation from a friend's family?

I frequently go over to my friend's house on the weekends to work on projects. We usually meet up in the morning then work until lunch before we go our separate ways. My friend still lives with his ...
17
votes
5answers
6k views

I sent an email about an urgent message, but want to call instead. How to correct?

Note: this is not a situation I am currently facing, but I have faced in the recent past. I apologized afterwards, which helped, but I'd rather learn how to fix the problem before it even occurs. My ...
9
votes
3answers
4k views

How to politely turn down roommate offer for awkward reason

Awhile ago I was roommates with someone. We stopped being roommates on good terms (we both moved to different cities but are now back in the same one). My roommate became a cop. I'm still friends with ...
128
votes
12answers
41k views

I'm 24 with a 4-year-old son. How to handle uncomfortable questions from people?

I'm 24 years old and I have a 4 year old son who was conceived by accident. I don't know about other countries but that's definitely not usual in mine (Spain). My son's mother and I broke up about ...
3
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I tell someone that possibly unwanted body skin is showing?

So the title sums it up, but let me provide an example so it has a bit of context. I am living and working in California in an accounting office, so lax business casual is the usual attire. I am a ...
4
votes
3answers
817 views

How to politely ask a coworker not to disturb me when I have headphones on

I do not like to be disturbed or constantly asked questions while I'm working intently. I use headphones to deal with that, and do not like to be disturbed while I have them on. How do I tell my ...
38
votes
4answers
13k views

How to politely communicate to a friend I don't want to host him at my place any more?

I have this long time friend, living in another city. We usually kept in touch when, from time to time, he came to the city I live, or when I went to the city where he lives. It went all smoothly ...
105
votes
7answers
21k views

How to avoid explaining science to strangers

So, I was at a Barbeque the other day and a situation occurred that, well, I'm getting tired of. It happens almost every time I meet a new group of people. When you meet someone, eventually you come ...
11
votes
6answers
4k views

Right way to ask a colleague not to slam the door

We have the following problem in the office: there is a colleague who, I think is nice enough once you get to know him a bit more closely. The thing is, most of the time he looks really grumpy or ...
48
votes
10answers
10k views

How to communicate to a new coworker that I am not comfortable being touched?

Last week a new coworker joined our team, and yesterday we were both invited to eat lunch in the work cafeteria with some other colleagues that I have known for around a year and a half. As he, ...
1
vote
3answers
292 views

Is using profanity only around some people considered two faced? [closed]

From my perspective, profanity "is what it is", I don't use it frequently but I have no real issue with it. Though, I do understand that some people do have issue with profanity. Because of this, ...
78
votes
9answers
17k views

How to discuss girlfriend's weight loss plans?

My girlfriend is in the process of losing weight, and the topic comes up between us occasionally (at her instigation), usually with a context of "I'm going to be so much hotter in a few months". She'...
26
votes
5answers
11k views

How to tell my professor that I don't understand the class and that I want office hours?

It's been a while (about 2 weeks) since I stopped understanding anything in class and I am afraid to tell the professor about my situation because she may get upset with me (which is obviously a not ...